Sam Pink's Blog, page 66

a weird thing to say to someone who's at your place is, "...

a weird thing to say to someone who's at your place is, "have you tried my napkins? i think you'll like them."

as I move from 'somewhat capable adult' to 'staring ...

as I move from 'somewhat capable adult' to 'staring off braindead in sweatpants and slippers at a caretaker's home' I realize I should've started having a lot of kids when I was young, that way i'd have nice people to take care of me, maybe even some grandkids. like I could live with my son/daughter and have breakfast with my grandkid(s) every morning (in the same cartoon bowl/cup) and then just sit there staring while the grandkid says, 'is grandpa ok?' and then i'll tap the kid on the arm when the parent isn't looking and flick the kid off with a wink. 

these are pictures of one of the Chicago flags I ha...

 these are pictures of one of the Chicago flags I handwrote the poem 'the midwest' on for someone. it's a full-sized flag. 

just another one of those relaxing, carefree sunday after...

just another one of those relaxing, carefree sunday afternoons where you spend half your time daydreaming about talking shit to someone who's pointing a gun at your face and the other half daydreaming about being that other person. 

noticed today i'd genuinely thought, "the filth, it's eve...

noticed today i'd genuinely thought, "the filth, it's everywhere, surrounding me...." and then laughed when i noticed it. 

if any publications that pay for short stories are readin...

if any publications that pay for short stories are reading this, i have a short story that'll knock your fucking socks off buster! so hit me up and give me some fucking money you stupid fucks i fucking hate you!

i've seen a physical copy of 'the collected suicide notes...

i've seen a physical copy of 'the collected suicide notes' and it looks really nice.  it even smells good. 

i feel like when my cat gets into a box he finds on the f...

i feel like when my cat gets into a box he finds on the floor and lays in it, he is celebrating life and enjoying himself, but when i  do it, it's because i want someone to throw me off a building. 

a 'c-span'/'political panel' style tv show where a modera...

a 'c-span'/'political panel' style tv show where a moderator turns to a man in full military uniform and says, "so, sergeant, what is the state of 'Fucking' in general then?" 

"oh, my rotten eyeball!" would be an interesting new way ...

"oh, my rotten eyeball!" would be an interesting new way to say, like, "drats/just my luck."