Andrew Moore's Blog, page 82

One Firm Preference

One thing I don't doubt is that for me, the most important part of fantasy is the character. Namely, how huge their swords are.

A Contradiction in Personal Preference

I don't like fantasy races much. Not the classic ones such as elves and dwarves, and not fresh new ones such as welvs and duvvars. Are those real? I hope not, since I'm not trying to say anything pointed here. The problem is that when I think of fantasy I like, most of it has fantasy races in it. Does that mean I like those stories despite that element, or am I simply mistaken about my own preferences? The latter seems likelier than I want it to be.

Happy Post-Apocalyptic Fourth of July!

We partied too hard and destroyed civilization! Well, these things happen. So, anybody the successor of a secret martial arts school? No? We probably should have checked that before we bought the fireworks.

Happy 4th of July!

I'm so excited, I couldn't even write out "fourth." Do you think that, in the future, we'll celebrate by dragging an asteroid toward Earth and blowing it up? I sure hope so. Write your congressman today.

Fruit Hanging Above Reach

Future Year 57886. Mankind has spread far beyond Earth, technology has advanced beyond imagination, horse racing was banned when nobody could think of dumb names for the horses not yet in use, and stores put up their Christmas decorations in Space August. A time of endless adventure.
"Captain, there's a space hurricane!" the guy in charge of detecting harmful cosmic phenomena yelled.
"Check that one, archive person," ordered the captain. In the equal society of the future, only the captain needed an actual job title.
"Space Hurricane. That one's taken."
The captain snorted. "Of course it is. Check 'Captain There's a Space Hurricane.'"
"Taken."
"'Hey Captain How's That Space Hurrican Running Yellow Socks.'"
"Taken."
Such are the hardships of exploration in Future Year 57886.
"'My Name's Hurricane My Brother's Name Is Space and We Have a Show for You Today.'"
"Taken."
All the songs are covers, too, and all the movies are sequels. Where will mankind find its rest, when it has grown old?
Finis

Better Title for Baldur's Gate 3

The Baldur's Gate. I mean, who do they think is going to buy these things, mathematicians? Almost certainly. But there are other customers, too.

Megastructure Punchline Corner

"Dyson sphere? I thought you said dicin' sphere!"

Important Announcement

For all of you waiting for the kind of coverage of that new Harry Potter mobile game only to be found here, forget about it. They didn't ask me to be in it, so that's that. But just wait for the Baldur's Gate 3 review! There probably won't be one, but there's still time.

Characterization

Make sure to give your characters hobbies and interests such as model trains. This is for fantasy. In science fiction, replace that junk with long descriptions containing phrases such as "tidal-locked." Nobody has time for space chess when there's speculation about genetic optimization of luck to drop on the page.

Addendum

Would it be gauche for the card game to have dragons in it? Humans don't see it that way, but you know how dragons can be.