Yvette Bodden's Blog, page 14

What Happened to a Woman’s Freedom of Choice?

On June 24, 2022, we watched, as the United States Supreme Court voted (5-4) to overturn Roe v. Wade. The landmark ruling was established in 1973, it granted women the constitutional right to abortion. The new ruling impacts the autonomy of millions of women in this country, as each state is set to decide, whether or not abortion will be legal.

World leaders reacted to the news. Many expressed their views using statements like “I think it’s a big step backward. “No government, politician, or man should tell a woman what she can and cannot do with her body.”  “Banning abortion never leads to fewer abortions, only more unsafe abortions.”

It is not customary for our platform to take part in political matters. However, as a woman, it is impossible not to comment on a matter that affects women. The fundamental right to choose has long been a topic of debate. The blatant disregard for this right is a sign of change in the wrong direction, concerning women all over the country.

Not too long ago, women were denied plenty of rights. In fact, prior to the late 1960s – early 1970s, set limitations would blow your mind.

Until legislation to protect women came along, Violence Act Against Women, refusing sex to a spouse was not permitted.
Opening a bank account or having credit cards required the authorization of husbands or male relatives.
Taking on careers like female astronauts, Supreme Court judges, and Ivy League Scholars was unheard of.
Accessing the morning pill, contraception, and even buying athletic shoes was a battle.
Women were excluded from serving on a jury.
No rights to birth control.
No equality in the workplace.

These were only some ways, women were blocked from having individual power. The good news is that in recent decades, we have witnessed evolution, as we walk the shoes of corporate c-suite executives, surgeons, judges, US Secretary of State, and even, a US Vice President. The needle of inequality has been moving in the right direction, despite the latest rejection by the US Supreme Court to take away rights to abortion.

Many believe the damage can have future consequences, as interference of the courts in what we do with our bodies has the potential to chip away at a woman’s independence. Is it possible? Well, anything is possible. One major dilemma, our daughters, sisters, nieces, and friends, no longer have the power to decide for themselves in the face of devastating acts of incest, rape, or life-threatening cases. Another consideration would be to think of the average contraceptive method being 99% effective. What will be the fate of the 1%, where contraception fails? What will women do in states that have already banned abortions? 

The lifelong debate on this subject is an emotional one, each side profoundly believes in its perspective. But it is critical to practice compassion for anyone in this space. Not all pregnancies are created equal. Financial, psychological, emotional, and physical circumstances have an effect on the decision of whether or not to bring life into the world, it’s a very personal matter. Unfortunately, the choice has now been made for countless women. 

So, I share this afterthought; How does a country built on a foundation that prides itself in  “Freedom of Choice?” refuse women the right to free will, doing what is best for themselves and their bodies? I’m still searching for an answer to the question. I will have to stand by and watch with the rest of the world, as the impact of this major transformation to women’s rights makes waves for women everywhere.

Protected content. 2022 awakened-woman.com 

Empowerment Series: Hollywood Celebrity Matchmaker, Dating Expert, Co-Founder of Matchmakers in the City, and Love Life Changing on Access Hollywood, MTV, CBS and Forbes, Alessandra Conti Shares Dating Tips with AW

Dating can be fun or exhausting, sometimes both. I was in a relationship for almost a decade. Returning to the world of dating after being with the same man for such a long time was a shock to my system. I have a plethora of stories about dates gone wrong. Finding the right match has its own set of struggles, needless to say, is challenging! I have come to believe there is a bit of an art to it. So, how do we find him or her? Or at the very least, increase our chances of finding “The One?”

I explored this topic and more with Hollywood Celebrity Matchmaker, Alessandra Conti. She is a dating expert based in Beverly Hills, a place known for having a community filled with demanding people.

On a Friday afternoon after a long day, Alessandra offered her time, and graciously, educated me on all things dating.  We sat down over a Zoom meeting to talk about expectations, love on social media, and the mistakes we sometimes make as a dater. She even gave some helpful tips that can help us date, successfully.

You are a celebrity matchmaker in Beverly Hills. Your clientele probably comes with high expectations. Getting everything we want in one person. Is it really possible or are we asking for too much? It is so challenging because I think society and Hollywood have sold a lie that we can have this perfect person. We believe we should wait for him or her, and not settle unless they are perfect. Something that I have learned from my 10 years of matchmaking is that you need to find your perfectly, imperfect person. There are elements of compatibility, you should pay attention to, dealbreakers. Are you on the same page about marriage, having kids, and religion? Even if there is a match made in heaven, if these don’t align, it likely won’t work.

I never had a checklist. In fact, I only began my list of dealbreakers, after a second divorce. I did not learn to date successfully, until late adulthood. I think people would call me a late bloomer! Can you share your best tips for dating successfully? If possible, tips that men and women can use to improve their chances of finding a love match? 

Tip 1: Having those three dealbreakers will save time and heartbreak.

Tip 2: Diversify the way you meet a partner. If you are in a position to hire a matchmaker, 100% go for it! If someone is single, doing it on their own and seeing the same patterns or you aren’t having any luck then hire a matchmaking company or ask about being added to a database.

We are constantly complaining about bad relationships “There are no good men out there!” Is it that we just don’t know how to date? What are we doing wrong? After doing this for 10 years, I think “there are so many incredible men out there.” Many men are using dating apps and could be great at dating but not necessarily, be good at relationships. The guy that knows what to say and do, the love bomber, charismatic one, and great dater will not always have the skillset to connect in a relationship. Women are programmed to feel like there has to be fireworks on a first date. It is better to allow a relationship to grow and have that steady flame, as opposed to fireworks that can die out, quickly. 

Remember, the number one thing that makes the difference between an amazing life partner vs one that will not make a good life partner is “consistency” in communication and planning.

Are there any rules you have for dating? 10 years ago, I started Matchmakers in the City with my sister. We are a boutique firm, and since we began, we have added seven matchmakers. When we started the business, we implemented guidelines for all our clients which have had much success.

Don’t have sex with a guy until you are in an exclusive relationship (at a minimum). Women release oxytocin when they have sex with men. We then bonded hormonally, whether, he is a great guy or not. Biologically, women attach to men after releasing an influx of this hormone. It happens, even if you don’t experience climax, the oxytocin is released when you are physical. Cuddling, and hugging also cause a spike when you become intimate with the person. So, our rule has nothing to do with the guy thinking you are easy or we are trying to shame women  – absolutely, not the case. We feel that men have to prove themselves.

The dating scene was complicated by a pandemic. Finding the right match became a little harder due to the conditions. How did this time change the business of matchmaking and the way you match people? Yes, CoVid changed everything but it was the great equalizer. We had an equal amount of men and women looking for partners, which is why we hired more matchmakers! People were over, dating a lot of people (still plenty of men doing it), although more prevalent pre-CoVid. We want to develop a more authentic connection, especially after the world shut down. We realized that we want a lasting partner.

The challenge on the dating apps is that there are more profiles than normal, some inactive or in relationships. An in-person connection means so much, more. Considerations when looking for a partner, now include, political, beliefs on CoVId and how two people have looked at the ordeal we’ve been through.

Prior, not everyone was open to long-distance,  “geographically undesirable, ” especially, with travel, as it became more intense. I have seen these relationships work, beautifully. I matched two people living long distances. They travel together and having that time as a couple, helps to learn so much about your partner.

We look to social media for setting expectations. Sometimes, it feels like we are creating an unrealistic bar to measure up to while trying to find “our person.” What are your thoughts on this and how do you manage your client’s expectations? 100% – there are two things that happen with social media. No one looks like they look on social media. “Filters!” We all use them. The other thing is that we are watching the highlight reels of relationships. People are watching the perfect boyfriend, family, husband, and kids, then you look at their lives and everything looks wrong.

You have to be careful with what you consume on social . No one is perfect and every relationship has issues. Do not ignore the red flags, and be self-aware of attachment styles because relationships are not easy. Trust and verify, it’s okay to explore but don’t get too caught in the wades.

We like to end all interviews with a positive message or takeaway to help inspire readers. What advice would you give anyone entering or contemplating the dating game? One word is “Flirt” Be playful have fun! If you are single, be playful. Be a flirt everywhere, be open anywhere you go! The energy you bring with you is the one, you’re going to get back. When you first start dating, enjoy it! Go into it with the intention of having fun. Vacation mode dating is great, pretend you are out for the night, go where you want to go, and tell yourself “I am going to have a good night. Own, whatever flirting is for you.

Date with intention and remember the importance of separating want from desire. Think of that vision and goal you want to experience with this person.

I can’t say enough good things about Alessandra. AW is grateful for the opportunity to get a dating expert that would offer encouraging insight on the topic.

In a world of billions, it can feel impossible to find “your person.” If you are actively dating, remain encouraged. As you continue the search for your match, it may be good to remember that others out there are doing the same.  On this mental note, we can eliminate some of the pressure and just enjoy the ride. Perhaps, if we alllow ourselves to have fun during the process, we can make the time less painful.

To find out more on Alessandra Conti, visit Instagram@matchmakeralessandraconti or matchmakersinthecity.com

This interview has been condensed for clarity.*

Protected content. 2022 awakened-woman.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Empowerment Series: Television Host and News Personality, 2-Time Emmy Winning Reporter, Producer & Host, NBC’s NYLive and Today Show, Joelle Garguilo Shares Good News with AW

Joelle Garguilo is an Emmy Winning Reporter, Producer, and Media Personality seen on NBC’s New York Live and Today Show. The journalist is strikingly genuine, possessing a jovial attitude that makes her interview style delightful.

AW had the wonderful opportunity to sit down with the Television Host to discuss the feel-good stories we love so much, where she highlights the Big Apple’s unsung heroes. Men and women who inspire communities and make a difference in the lives of everyday New Yorkers. Joelle has an uncanny talent for delivering her stories with great empathy that encourages connection.

Her energy is infectious, making it easy to have a conversation. The mother of two cares about the people in her stories and wants us to know, that they matter. In a world, where our attention span is fleeting, I challenge you to take a moment to learn about the story behind Joelle’s “Why?”

As a Writer and Founder of my platform, I am learning that people want to be inspired. What have you learned from telling uplifting stories and giving a voice to the people doing great things? The world can be a depressing place but when you have a platform like the one I am on, NBC Universal, which is one of the biggest markets in New York City, it is a privilege. I will always love doing the celebrity interviews but I think it’s the everyday people that are so incredible. They don´t always get the spotlight, which is why it’s so important to fight for those stories. People love these stories. Don´t you want to watch something that helps those who deserve it? The power of what we do is amazing. It is an honor to be able to say”Hey, let’s put them on the show, offer an opportunity to highlight that small business.

During this process, what has been your biggest lesson as a human being? I have a big heart, I have always known that I care so much, and sometimes it gets me in trouble. It is a hard question to answer but I think the importance of speaking up, even when it’s not the most popular thing to do. If you believe in what you are doing then trust your heart. Trust your gut.

New Yorkers are perceived as cold and uncaring but we pull together when needed in big and small ways. You are using your platform to share the stories of people making a difference or embracing their greatness. Why do you share these particular profiles and what do you hope people will feel when they watch them on the show? You have to get out of your world because your world is not the only one out there. Every one of these stories has someone we can learn from, whether it’s their culture, upbringing, or experience. I know that you are not me and I am not you but if I can fully understand what others have lived, if I can walk in your shoes, it may help me understand what you’ve been through. When you are able to shine the light on others, you can inspire the world.

You are so good at what you do, which shows in the way you connect with the people in your stories. It is impossible to feel invisible in your presence. I am sure the subjects of your interview feel seen when in your presence. Have you ever been completely moved by someone, who couldn’t believe you wanted to share their story? Grandma Dawn is a woman who wants to make sure every child and adult knows how to read. She had the desire to share her love of books. Grandma’s Place, in Harlem, is a book and toy store that fueled the dream of a bookmobile, collecting 28,000 books, one for every child who is homeless. I remember going into the store and feeling it was special, and Grandma Dawn saying ¨I can´t believe I have a story.”

Everybody has a story. You have to separate your “What” from your Why.” Why do you do, what you do? Grandma Dawn was a child in the library, books were her escape in her life at the time. She knew what it was like to grow up with a parent who wasn’t around. Seeing the poverty in her area, she wanted to provide resources that would encourage the kids to do better.

In an interview with Bella Magazine, you said “You have learned empathy, understanding, and how to be a better human.” In my opinion, it makes you an effective and fantastic storyteller! What haven’t you learned yet, that you think would get you closer to the woman, mother, and human you hope to evolve into? I don´t know! I could use some help with time management, and getting out of my own head. But I think it’s a beautiful thing, sometimes it is OK, not to know. I am totally ok with that, just knowing that I want to get better.

You deliver stories that inspire us. What inspires you? Conversations like this! Knowing there are good people out there is inspiring. We can lift one another, the table is big enough for everyone.

I like to end our interviews with a positive message. Sometimes, life’s experiences can harden us. What words of inspiration or encouragement can you share with listeners that may be feeling cynical about life? Setbacks can actually be setups but you don’t realize it at the time, you are going through your mess. It can take a year or years to get where you want but I promise, if you can see them as setups, you are going to be better off!  I’ve gotten so stuck on certain things that have happened that I wasn’t letting other things happen in my career. The setbacks prepared me for the other Emmy and to do what I’m doing now but I had to let go of these setbacks, so like Elsa¨Let It Go¨

There is no better way than to end this interview with a quote from Joelle,¨Find that thing that is you and stay true to yourself.” She holds true to what she says, she found her gift and remains humble. AW is grateful to bring this story to its readers, as it is filled with goodness.

Life has countless challenges. We can easily be discouraged by the events that take place around us. So, how do you fight back the negativity? Spread the good news, help raise the voices of people who inspire, and make it your mission to choose a positive tone to cancel out the noise. Hopefully, Joelle’s work is a reminder that it’s not all bad news, out there!

You can watch the full interview with Joelle on the AW YouTube channel or listen to the AW Confidential Podcast found on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Anchor, and everywhere you find your podcasts.

To learn more about this amazing human, visit her Instagram, Twitter:@joellegarguilo or http://www.joellegarguilo.com

This interview has been condensed for clarity.*

Protected content. 2022 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: Peruvian Director, part of the Female Forward NBCU LAUNCH Program, Kantu Lentz, Shares an episode of NBC’s “Chicago Fire” with AW

Film and television are filled with high praised, male directors. Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, and Dick Wolf are some of the most recognized names in their respective industries.

More and more, we hear the buzz about women making a splash in the field. Jane Campion (The Power of the Dog), Chloe Zhao (Nomadland), Kathryn Bigelow (The Hurt Locker), and Sophia Coppola (Lost in Translation) are Oscar-winning directors, shining a light on the work women are doing behind the camera. 

Peruvian filmmaker, Kantu Lentz is a director with a vision. She is part of NBCU’s Female Forward Program, a project that seeks to create opportunities for female directors in episodic television. Kantu had the incredible opportunity to direct an episode of Chicago Fire, one of NBC Universal’s hit shows and part of the “Chicago Wednesday” lineup.

The talented director comes with an impressive resume. She has an award-winning short film “Jack and Jo Don’t Want to Die” starring Justin Kirk (“Weeds,” “Angels In America”) and Olivia Edward (“Better Things”), which premiered at the 2020 Tribeca Film Festival. The project is currently being developed into a feature-length film. Additionally, Kantú wrote and directed a comedic video “Rollercoaster Break-up,” starring Moses Storm (“Sunnyside,” “Unfriended”) that went viral with ten million views and counting.

I read that you are a Dick Wolf fan. Like many of us, you grew up watching Law & Order: SVU. When you think back to his shows, how have you been influenced by him, as a director?  There is a reason Dick Wolf shows have run for a long time. His characters are well thought out. Specifically, SVU’s Mariska Hargitay, whose character, Olivia Benson is always in the between. She is constantly having to fight darkness while remaining someone who believes in the light. It’s something that I find interesting in characters because nothing is consistent, one way or the other. Humanity lives in between, in my opinion.

You directed this episode of Chicago Fire, and there was so much that I loved about it! Stella Kidd’s character, played by Miranda Rae Mayo, is such an inspiration. Was there an emotion, personal story, or experience you tapped into, to deliver a show able to highlight “girls on fire” without taking away from the action or other storylines in this episode? It mainly goes to the credit of the writers, who wrote an amazing script. Honestly, it wasn’t really about tapping into anything but showing something that is way overdue. Women should be in any and all jobs, they are inspired to do. For me, it was more the excitement of being part of this storyline and making magic for television. The show has such an incredible reach, for young girls all over the world to possibly, see themselves in Stella’s character is inspiring.

As a female director, how did you feel directing some of those action scenes? Was it easier or harder to direct the scenes where characters were dealing with the emotional side of an issue? I view it as a movement and how things feel, considering actors, as well as, experiences. Even though they are very different, you are tapping into “How the scene should feel.” You try to put yourself in the character’s perspective. I think about what the character is feeling and what I want you to feel, as the viewer, then make choices based around that.

Is there a challenging aspect, as far as directing this episode? Everything on a set is always a challenge. It was easy, as far as, the incredible crew and cast to direct. In production, you are fighting light and time. These pieces need to come together. Having the opportunity to step into a machine like “Chicago Fire” was an honor for me, as a director. Doing this job during CoVid, was tough but it’s what we had to do to be safe. The work is about connecting with an actor and vice versa which is difficult to do a mask and social distancing. You can’t see into anyone’s eyes or see their expressions. Everyone has to be in this connected space, it’s where the magic happens.

Being a woman in a man’s world has countless challenges. How has NBCU’s Female Forward program empowered you as a director and a woman? NBCU’s Female Forward program is one of those programs that is so unique. It is the only program that actually offers you a job. In order for the industry to take you seriously, you need to have the episode. The trust, commitment, and engagement with each of the directors, they commit to are simply invaluable. I think as a woman they are making a pledge to change the numbers.

I am very excited to continue directing television, as the door is now, open and I love it! I am also currently prepping my feature film, “Jack and Jill Don’t Want to Die” based on a short film that I wrote and directed in 2019 with a great run at the Tribeca film festival.

We like to end AW interviews with a positive message or advice. I have watched this episode but can you tell our listeners why they should also, watch this episode of “Chicago Fire?” Chicago Fire rocks!! This episode is wonderful because it has all the things you love about the show, amazing action scenes, romance, love triangles, and comedy. I hope you watch it, you will definitely enjoy it!

AW is filled with gratitude to Kantu for sharing her insight and experience with our readers. Female directors are stepping up to the podium and being seen. As we look to the future, we cannot deny the impact diversity and inclusion are having in business, politics, entertainment, healthcare, science, and other fields.  Encouraging an environment that incorporates everyone offers an alternate perspective. Hopefully, it will also inspire a world that respects the differences among us without condemnation.

You can watch the full interview with Kantu on the AW YouTube channel or listen to the AW Confidential Podcast found on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Anchor, and everywhere you find your podcasts. 

To learn more about Kantu Lentz, visit Instagram @kantulentz and happypessamist.com

This interview has been condensed for clarity.*

Protected content. 2022 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: Leading Lady of “The Courtship” Shares her Journey to Lasting Love with AW

The world of dating has evolved over the years. Many women feel that gentlemanly customs have been abandoned. Holding a door, pulling a chair, walking her on the curbside of the sidewalk to protect her from the road, offering his coat when it’s chilly outside, are all gestures that demonstrate effort. We want to feel wanted, if a man takes the time to do a little extra work, it makes us feel like he is paying attention. 

If you read Yahoo News, Variety, People, Cosmopolitan or you watch NBC’s Access Hollywood or the Today Show, you have already heard of “The Courtship,” a reality dating series with a Bridgerton theme. There is romance, chivalry, love, and even a little drama with the UK countryside, as the backdrop of the fairytale. The leading lady, Nicole Remy, even has family and friends to help her through the process of choosing “the one.” The regency-era dating show has allure, wooing, and dare I say, a little intrigue.

AW sat down with Nicole to discuss romance, love, and the challenges that come from having the attention of 16 suitors vying for her love. 

Firstly, how does it feel to have 16 men competing for your love and attention? I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! Everyone wants to be desired and sought after. Having 16 guys from the start is amazing. It is also humbling because it isn’t typical, of how we date, it is very different.

I’ve seen “The Courtship,” there are lots of dating series’, each one has something for everyone. Why did you decide to do this particular show? What about it appealed to you and how is it different than other shows in the same genre? You said it – it is romance, chivalry, and charm. I came into wanting to find my forever person, looking for love and a partner. The opportunity was presented to me with the idea to live in a castle, wear these awesome dresses and have the men court me. Not only, would I be dating 16 guys but they all get to meet my best friend, my sister, and my parents on the first day! I did it and I lived to tell about it!

“The Courtship” has fantasy, chivalry, and a little drama? These guys are very attractive, the testosterone in the air is thick. You pair that with my real feelings and theirs, drama is going to happen, which you will see, as the show progresses.  

Many women spend so much time looking for their fairytale love. I think it looks different for everyone. It is a journey, where we find out a lot about ourselves and what we want. What have you learned about yourself during this part of your journey?  Great question! I went into this as an indecisive person, and I still am, but when it comes to something that means a lot to me, the decision is easy. When it comes to choosing a guy and having feelings for him, it’s easier for me to decide. Feelings come from the heart. I am going with my guy with no regrets because I felt so strong and confident about it.

You had a choice of 16 men! They were of different races, backgrounds, personalities, and physical attributes. What surprised you the most about the men that you got to know? The thing that surprised me the most was how down they were to be part of this fantasy and fairytale with me. Most guys would think “I’m too cool to dress up this outfit or ride a carriage.” I believed my guy is there, if he can be vulnerable in that space, he can be vulnerable with me.

They say, “Chivalry is dead.” I have written about about the topic. I believe there are men willing to treat you with kindness, respect, and “treat you like a lady.” The Courtship is all about bringing chivalry back to modern dating. Going forward, after having this experience. What is one thing, you know for sure about men? I would say that men have a very difficult time opening up to share how they feel. But if you make them feel comfortable, you can gain that trust to help them get there. This has been a hallmark of all my relationships. The men in my relationship have not opened up to me, making it hard to know where I stand. 

Guys are capable of chivalry, and I would love to see more of it. Some men and women, see courteousness as being “too nice.” It should be normalized, not weird, to help encourage men.

What is your deepest home at the end of this journey? I came to the show to find love. However, it is important to help women feel empowered. As I dance with the men in the show, I share with them, what I need from the relationship, which we don’t typically do. What is so beautiful and not regency about this is how my modern-day, female independent woman takes charge in this old fashion world. We have to tell people how we feel, in relationships, in the workplace, with family, and with friends. Be more honest and open with everyone.

I like to end AW interviews with a positive message to inspire others. Since we have been talking about dating, can you offer some advice to give hope to the single ladies out there that think chivalry is dead? All of us, men and women, need to speak into existence. It’s not going to live if we’re not giving it a place for it to flourish. Treat people with respect, to get respect. We should be encouraging each other to be more open, vulnerable, chivalrous, and romantic. When you are on a date, don’t spend the night on the phone. Instead of going to a bar, why not on a long walk, learn to ride a horse, try a boat ride. Do things that include just the two of you. The locations you see in the show are beautiful spaces to foster a much deeper relationship because you are able to spend time with that person. Making eye contact without technology around leads to more connection, we are losing so much of that today. Ladies believe in the romance of all of it!

Dating takes effort, it is challenging to allow ourselves to be seen in our realness. A man who takes notice of your needs; treats you with respect, and honors you may be worth a second look. The desire to be courted and have someone flatter you with attention is not only wonderful, but you are also deserving of it.  

In a time of cynicism, Nicole Remy took a chance to find her love. She stepped into this fictional show with a modern attitude. This leading lady is willing to ask for what she needs and deserves. In any world, that’s called knowing your worth. 

Watch Nicole Remy on “The Courtship,” Wednesdays at 11:00 PM on the USA Network, or check local listings in your area. The show can also be streamed the next day on Peacock.

You can view the full interview with Nicole on the AW YouTube channel or listen to the AW Confidential Podcast found on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Anchor, and everywhere you find your podcasts. 

This interview has been condensed for clarity.*

Protected content. 2022 awakened-woman.com

 

 

 

Empowerment Series: Afro-Latina Actress, Writer, Filmmaker, and Podcast Host, Grasie Mercedes Shares “Grand Crew” with AW

Grasie Mercedes had a successful career as a fashion stylist and beauty blogger before moving on to be a Producer at MTV Networks. The work behind the scenes was only the beginning of her journey in the entertainment industry. The Writer, Filmmaker, and Actress is an uber-talented Afro-Latina with film credits that include A CoVid Love Story, Just the Two of Us, Postmate, and the web series, My Boyfriend. Most recently, she plays the character “Fay” on NBC’s Grand Crew. There is nothing she can’t do! In 2021, Grasie created the podcast, Not (Blank) Enough, where she and guests openly discuss the sometimes, sensitive topic.

AW had the opportunity to speak to Grasie about Grand Crew, not being (blank) enough, and becoming part of the change. Each of the interviews in the empowerment series is special. Every woman shares a unique story and with it brings her own message of inspiration. I’m sure our conversation will resonate with readers, and help them connect with Grasie, as much as I did, that day.

For anyone not familiar with the show, can you share a bit about its premise and your character? Grand Crew is about six friends who are navigating life, love, relationships, and work, while regularly gathering for a “wine down” at their local bar, “Cru.”  Her character, Fay, is a recent transplant from New York City to Los Angeles. She is the fun one, gives really good advice, and is the voice of reason. The last few episodes reveal her interesting past. I’m enjoying playing the fun character. All our characters are fun! It is a total dream to play her and work on this show.

I love this show! My favorite episode of Grand Crew is “Wine & Headlines” which dealt with a bad news cycle.” The characters grapple with the world’s bad news. We all cope with pain differently. Ignore it, exercise our way out of it, wine out of it, etc. There are countless ways to numb ourselves. This episode hits some serious notes but does it in a savvy way that is appealing. What about this show appealed to you? Why do you think it was important to do it? First of all, the show’s creator, Phil Augusta Jackson, and Executive Producer Dan Gore, who created Brooklyn 99 are both smart, funny, amazing guys! Phil is a genius. I read the breakdown of Fay and instantly connected to her. I didn’t feel like I had to play a stereotypical black woman. It was refreshing to bring myself to the character and have fun with it. Our writing room is phenomenal and does such a great job keeping it light, funny, but still touching on issues that people deal with every day. Issues that, we, as black people have to face each day. This episode was one of my favorites. It opened up a little differently, introducing poet Jay Ivy. He recited a poem that gave me chills. It was such a great way to open up Black History Month.

In this episode, your character, Fay, says”I go where life takes me, living in the moment.” Is that statement all Fay or is it also true for Grasie? Yes, it is also true for Grasie. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason. Also, if something makes you truly unhappy, then try to find the happy in something else. My mother worked her butt off to give me a good education. There is a privilege with that for sure. I grew up in a decent neighborhood, considering my mother had me as a teenager and we didn’t have any money. I had comfort, knowing my family had my back. I could try whatever I wanted but knew I had to work my butt off to make sure that I was the best at everything I did. Hustle, hustle, hustle. I went to school for journalism and tried to work for news media, it was too depressing, couldn’t do that every day. Getting to work at MTV Entertainment News was fun. It helped me get into production but I  always loved acting. 

Growing up in New York City, raised in a Dominican household, I did not see people that looked like me on television. My daughter is having a completely different experience. She sees Latinas that look like her on the big and small screen – in front and behind the camera. She is seeing herself in the Latina taking a seat in the Supreme Court, Congress, the White House, and Hollywood. How does it feel to be part of the change taking place with shows like Grand Crew and the films you are making? Hearing that touches my heart. I want to be part of the change. Having Afro-Latinas writing, directing producing, and being part of the change is incredible. Grand Crew has given me more of a platform. I loved the announcement when I was going to be on the show, it included that I was Dominican American. This gave Latino outlets the opportunity to share the beautiful news. Seeing my people support me on a Black show. This is not a Latino show but I am black and Latino and love the support! I hope we get a second season, and I can continue to create not only opportunities for myself but for others too!

Having a platform is a big responsibility. We have the power to do good or evil. You have used yours to spread awareness, give others a voice and make the world better in a variety of ways. Your podcast, “Not (Blank) Enough” is incredibly powerful! Thank you for helping to normalize this feeling of “not enough.” I have experienced the same, like many others. My hair is not straight enough, I’m not pretty enough, not light skin enough, not successful enough. I’m not good enough to achieve the things, I want for myself. So many of us have felt that way at some point. I am always working on myself and shifting this mindset. What would be your response, if I asked you what is your “no (blank enough)?” There are so many! That is why I started the podcast. It was during deep CoVid and I was also developing a television show based on my life. As an Afro-Latina, never quite felt like I fit in. I was writing a pitch document and having Zoom meetings with producers. As I was telling my story, I thought it would be great to talk to other people about not feeling like they are enough. We did about 40 episodes and talked to incredible guests, who were so gracious and gave me their time. We spoke to people from all walks of life. It didn’t matter who it was, everyone experienced a feeling of “Not enough.” Today, I don’t feel Latina enough, don’t always feel black enough. As far as, Imposter Syndrome, I have felt like I’m not talented enough. I asked myself, “How did I get this show?”

We all have those feelings, it is one of the things that makes us universal and human. I think there are always going to be those feelings. Running, meditation, therapy, hanging out with friends, and talking to my mom are helpful. Having all these, plus self-help, self-love practices brings me back to the moment. I can get out of my head, so I can have the ability to show up, perform, sit down and write. You recognize the chatter in your head, telling you “I’m not good enough.” Silence it. We will always have that, it’s never going to go away. We just learn to deal with it in a productive way that allows us to continue to move forward in life.

I like to end AW interviews with a positive message, advice, or quote to inspire, empower and encourage. For anyone reading, who is feeling like they are not enough. What encouraging words can you share? You are enough. You might not feel like you are 100% but you have to believe that you are! I’ve been hearing a lot of stories of young people committing suicide. It makes me sad to know that people are in so much pain without knowing how much they are loved. There are outlets, people care more than you think and would be happy to be there for you. It’s hard knowing what to do when those thoughts come but understanding they are normal. No matter how pretty, successful, wealthy, or how perfect things look on social media, we all have these feelings.

Believing you are defective for any reason is a damaging lie. The feeling of “not enough” lives within all of us but manifests, differently. Men and women who struggle with the painful emotion think they are not deserving of good things. The rationale behind this sense of lack varies and can stem from one’s own critical inner voice, trauma, or living in a judgmental environment. We can be our worst enemy at times. Giving ourselves grace and learning self-love is a critical part of overcoming the battle of feeling like we are not enough.

If you are in a place of “not enough” own it. You are not alone, accept what you are feeling. Decide who you want to be, and how you want to live your life – don’t sell yourself short. Surrounding yourself with positive people who uplift and believe in you can be a helpful reminder of your greatness. Do not strive for perfection, just the best self you can be, that is enough. You are enough!

We are incredibly grateful to Grasie for sharing her vulnerability during our interview. We often try to create the perception of a perfect self. This fierce Afro-Latina is an example of the beauty there is in self-love and acceptance.

Check your listings to check out “Grand Crew” in your area. You can also stream it on Hulu and NBC’s Peacock. Meanwhile, the gifted actress is waiting to hear about another season of Grand Crew and writing shows and working on a feature film.

You can watch the full interview with Grasie on the AW YouTube channel or listen to the AW Confidential Podcast found on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Anchor, and everywhere you find your podcasts. 

To find out more about Grasie, visit her on Twitter or Instagram, @grasiemercedes

This interview has been condensed for clarity.*

Protected content. 2022 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: Entrepreneur and Co-Founder of Zentap, Sormeh Attarzadeh Shares Bold Career Move with AW

Many people take on jobs to fulfill financial responsibilities, not necessarily satisfy a passion. Sometimes, we choose careers to meet expectations, instead of going in the direction of our dreams. Why do we make such decisions? It may be that playing it safe or following a plan offers more stability. Going off script not only takes courage and determination, it is the road less traveled. For those that choose to listen to their inner voice, believe in themselves enough to go for it and succeed, the payoff can be much greater than money, it’s freedom.

Sormeh Attarzaden is an Entrepreneur and Co-Founder of Zentap, a leading digital marketing solutions app for professionals in the real estate industry. In 2015, the millennial graduated from Loyola-Marymount University. Law school was part of her plan but a twist of fate changed everything. The path outlined became unclear when she was not happy with her choices. The nagging feeling, she wasn’t in the right place, forced her to carve a different path for herself. The decision to change course required bravery but would be worthwhile in the end.

AW had the exciting opportunity to interview Sormeh about her journey. She shared plenty of golden nuggets to help anyone facing a similar conflict. It is wonderful to be able to share with our reader her inspiring story, which a lot of you could relate to.

Sometimes, we set a path for ourselves then realize it is not the right one. We may continue in this false direction for fear of change, disappointing others, and investment of time or money. You left law school to pursue a dream and do something very different. Can you share a bit about that decision and making such a big transition? What was happening in your head? It was definitely a scary and unexpected transition. My major was history, the plan was to go to law school. In my culture, the expectation is to be a doctor or lawyer. I studied for the LSAT, got into law school, and did a full semester. But towards the end of the semester, I wasn’t feeling like myself, anymore. I thought it was part of the journey, and eventually, I’d be happy. So, I went on with the second semester but internally, the unhappiness continued. I decided not to tell anyone that I was so confused. There were nerves from the fear to tell my parents, what was happening. But over the course of a few weeks, I grew the courage to tell them. I thought I was supposed to have it all figured out. Law school was intense. I needed a break to work out what I really wanted to do. I knew, I had to start from scratch.

Many of us would be overwhelmed with fear to make this decision. What was your breaking point before taking a hard turn on your journey? I started spacing out which didn’t feel like me. I wasn’t at all happy, and it began to show on the outside. There was no passion for what I was learning. The pressure was weighing heavy on my shoulders. I no longer felt like law school was a choice, it felt forced on me. I was scared to let go because there was time invested. A game plan but I couldn’t do it anymore, it was when I realized that something had to change.

Many women struggle with guilt and lack of confidence. For much of my adult life, I was afraid to ask for what I wanted in the personal and professional areas of my life. In order to gain confidence, it was critical for me to believe that I deserved to have the things I wanted. Did you always have the courage to pursue your passion? I had no idea what I wanted to do and there were bills to pay! I had confidence but not to the extent you would think. Getting into law school helped me realize that I could do it, I was capable of getting to the next level. It is important to put yourself first. Being in a mental space where I  wasn’t satisfied, visualizing a career, I wasn’t passionate about really scared me. I couldn’t do something that wasn’t right for me.

We have been talking about your passion. What are you doing now? Excited to be part of Zentap, working with real estate agents and mortgage brokers. We have created a technology for content creation to serve our clients. Marketing can fall at the end of their to-do list and we can help with that area of the business.

You are now doing what you love. What is one expectation you had going into this part of your journey that has been challenged? I did not expect to end up in sales. I worked for the Beverly Hills Weekly but the job did not last. I was not good at selling, however, this opportunity challenged me, again. Never imagined, I’d be in my garage on the phones, learning how to sell. It took a while to ease up and get it done.

What has been the biggest lesson you have learned about yourself?  If I don’t get in my own way or overthink things, I can make anything happen. There will be failures and mistakes but it will be part of something good, as long as my heart is in it. I have always talked myself out of things instead of shooting my shot. If I feel something, and am intrigued, I have this passion to do it! If I don’t try, I won’t know!

We like to end interviews with a positive message or advice for listeners. Many of us are afraid to pursue our passion and dreams. What advice can you share about the benefits of going after what you want in life? We put our armor on and look content, thinking we have to follow one path but we can break out of that life and do something else. Be selfish, it’s ok to live for yourself. If you don’t pursue the things makes you happy you will never be fully satisfied. If you are happy, more opportunities will arrive. A better mindset gets you closer to making your dreams come true. Lastly, stop caring about what others think, if people know you, they know who you are.

AW is grateful to Sormeh for sharing her inspiring story. Undoubtedly, her experience will provide hope for those feeling stuck in a job or career that is not fulfilling. It is not uncommon to feel like the mouse on a wheel.

We question our place in the world or purpose. At times, there is ambivalence about whether or not we’re capable of something different.  It can feel like you don’t have a choice. If you share this feeling, let this story be a reminder of what is possible. It is never to late, you can alter your path at any time.

The full interview with Sormeh can be found on the AW Confidential Podcast and YouTube channel.

This interview has been condensed for clarity.*

Protected content. 2022 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: “A Million Little Things” “Jane the Virgin,” “Mrs. America,” “Law & Order,” “Guiding Light,” and “El Cantante” Actress, Andrea Navedo Shares Self-Love with AW

Life is unpredictable. Oftentimes, it feels like a long movie, where you are the lead among a cast of characters that either support or antagonize the conflict of your story. My narrative is continuously evolving, people come in and out of my life to help me with the lessons. The beauty of this thing called life is that we never know who will enter our world and make an impact.

I attended John F. Kennedy High School in the city of New York. Our rival high school was Dewitt Clinton and their football team was ruthless. Those years were only a memory until recently when I sat down for a one-on-one lunch with Andrea Navedo. We met on a beautiful Autumn day for an interview but it turned out to be a walk down memory lane after the Bronx native revealed that she attended the school of our fiercest opponent – Clinton High School! It was a meeting of two Latinas from the “Big Apple” that took very different career paths but deep down we’re not so different. We are women who have endured hardship, evolved, and learned countless lessons on our journey to finding self-love.

Many women have struggled with self-love at some point in their lives, present company included. I am an optimist and a fighter but I did not embrace my power until the fourth decade of life. Stepping into my potential did not come easily but once it did, I held on to it for dear life! When did you find your strength, as a woman and really step into your power? There wasn’t a defining moment for me. I stepped into my power, little by little. I was bullied in middle school, sticking up for myself was one of the first moves. In high school, I had a boyfriend who was abusive. During one argument, he antagonized me, triggering a fire in my belly! Knew that I deserved better, I fought back that day. We fought and I broke up with him.  The decision encouraged me, I gained control, gradually. Later on in life, the decision to seek therapy was useful to deal with things that took place during my childhood, further empowering me. The decision to end a 20-year marriage was the hardest thing I’ve done in life. It has been a long journey but the driving force? My soul knew better. I fought back each time, I heard the little voice inside me say “You are not enough.” The power came in increments, becoming stronger, as I made decisions that were in my best interest.

Women juggle multiple roles, mothers, wives, girlfriends, sisters, mothers, daughters, and careers. We try to be everything to everyone. There is pressure to do it all. It is unrealistic to think that we won’t make mistakes. I have my share of blunders but I have grown and learned from them. What has been your biggest lesson of self-love? Divorce has been my biggest lesson. Understanding that I deserve love has been life-changing. It is up to me to make that happen but no one else can give me that love, it’s inside of me. I truly thought that having a life of a “celebrity,” being a lead actress on a series like “Jane the Virgin” would complete my life. At the end of the day, it was not fulfilling in the way I hoped, not really. My marriage was killing me emotionally. I wanted my children to live with two parents in a conventional home but it would not have been a healthy choice for anyone. Loving myself had to come first to be able to provide them with a good life.

Years of work have helped me with self-acceptance but it is constant practice. I’ve learned to be good to myself and understand that I deserve self-care and attention. How do you show yourself love, care, and attention? I show myself love by being honest about myself and my feelings. Telling myself the truth is pivotal in my life. I know when I am not being good to myself. When I am truthful, the light shines through the darkness. Allowing myself the chance to be vulnerable, talking about my dark thoughts is important, too. If I don’t express myself, it makes me unhappy. Letting it out constructively is an act of self-love. Therapy helps, doing the things that I am afraid of also encourages me. Having a partner that treats me well and upholds the agreements I have with him and respects mine is another way, I self-nurture.

AW likes to end interviews with a message, mantra, quote, advice, or words of inspiration. What would you like to share with our readers to encourage them to seek and protect self-love?  It’s like Glenda, the good witch who tells Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, “You’ve had the power all along.” Choose for yourself, don’t allow anyone else to disrespect you. Make choices that honor your highest and best self. Do not be the victim in the story. Take the reigns of your life, there is incredible power in staying true to yourself.

Words can’t express my gratitude to Andrea for taking the time to do our interview. Her genuine and frank words are appreciated and helped immensely on that day. As women, many of us put others at the helm of our lives, it often creates an existence that mostly meets the world’s expectations. Putting yourself first, giving yourself what you need to be happy is not selfish. The act of self-love can help you act in alignment with your soul. Learning to love yourself is critical, as you build the foundation for an authentic life.

This interview has been condensed for clarity.*

Protected content. 2021 awakened-woman.com

Empowerment Series: 2021 Winner of Season 19, Bravo’s Project Runway, Fashion Designer, Shantall Lacayo Shares her Dream with AW

Shantall Lacayo is living the American Dream. The girl from Nicaragua was taught to sew at the early age of 4. By the time she was 13, Shantall started her first business selling her own brand of t-shirts. Although her dream was to have a career in fashion, it would not be possible, so she went into marketing, instead. Fashion careers did not exist in her country but she continued to hold on to her dreams. Shantall’s passion did not fade, she held on to the idea that one day she would be able to create her own designs. As an adult, she moved to Miami with her husband to flee Nicaragua’s political violence. The move helped her gain the freedom to follow her dreams full time and begin her own brand.

In 2010, she came in the first runner-up in Project Runway: Latin America.

In 2020, the designer began to sell her clothes, masks, and jewelry on social media.

Most recently, in 2021, Shantall won Season 19 of Bravo’s Project Runway!

AW had the amazing opportunity to interview the designer. We sat down over Zoom to have an inspiring conversation about her dreams, designs, and what it meant to win this competition.

I read your interview in Elle Magazine, where you said “Hell no! I’m not doing this, again. It’s too hard,” referring to the prospect of doing Season19: Project Runway, after coming to the first runner-up spot on Project Runway: Latin America in 2010. What was going on in your head during the moment you were trying to decide if you wanted to take on this challenge? You were being given a chance at the American Dream. Why was it important for you to do this season? It is the American Dream but behind the scenes, it’s also all about stress and anxiety. Eleven years ago, I competed on a similar platform. This is about fighting the demons from the past, being almost there then seeing your dreams fall apart at the time. But I have learned that everything happens for a reason. Jorge Duque, an amazing designer won that completion. He was the age, I am now when he won. It was a big disappointment but I knocked on doors, got sponsors, and took the experience as a lesson. I realized it when the opportunity for Season 19’s Project Runway came around. My husband helped me realize this is was a major opportunity. When you have a family and your own business, you have to remove the ego. This was such an amazing opportunity and I had to do it.

You’ve said this competition is “as much about mental strength, as it is about talent.” Viewers were on the edge of their seats during the episode you almost left. Thank you Christian Soriano for the save! You came back with even more determination! How did that moment affect your mental strength? When Christian gave me the Siriano save, I decided to do my best. I knew, I needed as much exposure as possible, so I had to give this 200%. I realized this was a game and moved forward with that mindset. Television time is not the same as real-time. There was a lot of work to do in fewer hours, so much stress. The biggest prize I got from the show, especially after 2020 and going through all the emotional crises of the past year has been emotional and mental growth. We have to be strong, accept the moment and what’s happening, not let the wall of emotions get the best of us.

As a designer, you create elegant and unique pieces for the modern woman, many of which reflect a touch of the culture. As a Latina, how do you hope to impact the fashion world and inspire younger generations? There is so much happening in the world, everything is happening so fast. There’s metaverse and everyone focusing on the future, so we have to remind ourselves where we come from. Life is changing, now America is looking to Latin America for a different perspective. Having a balance between the American market and Latino DNA is amazing.

Project Runway is a platform that offers designers many opportunities to build their brand. What would you like your brand to say to the world or 3 words that describe your brand? Sustainability and consciousness, artistic and sophistication is a perfect balance. Having something couture but wearable is what the brand is about.

I like to end all our interviews with a positive message or advice that can help inspire, empower our encourage, listeners. As women, we tend to put our dreams on hold to take care of others. Why did you decide to go for it? As Latinas, we are very close to our kids, they are the focus of our lives. But we have to be happy, on our own. The most important thing in my life is my son but if I’m not happy, I won’t have the strength to do all the things, needed from me. I am learning to fight the guilt that came when I became a mother. We make sacrifices to give our loved ones a better life. Even though my son gives me every happiness, I had to do this to give him better opportunities, too.

Why should we go for our dreams at any age? It is normal to feel guilt. We should try as much as we can to do something that makes us happy. Whether it is a business, personal space, having a moment for yourself, take the time to do it. Stop living your dreams through your kids. The moment to figure out what makes you happy is now.

Shantall is a wonderful mother, wife, and designer. Like you and me, she is a woman who loves her family but understands the power of individuality. We don’t lose our identity because we agree to be part of a relationship or motherhood. Her passion for creating beautiful designs gives her purpose.  The happiness she consumes from the power of the love around her transcends in her work. Her designs are exquisite and one-of-a-kind pieces tailored for the confident and modern woman who stands in her own power.

The Latina is as strong and real as they come. The world is waiting to see what she does next but she is proof that dreams do come true, so never give up!

You can watch the full interview with Shantall on the AW YouTube channel or listen to our chat on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Anchor, and anywhere you find your podcasts.

You can find out more about Shantall Lacayo by visiting shantalllacayo.com, Instagram@shantalllacayo, and BravoTV – Project Runway.

This interview has been condensed for clarity.*

Protected content. 2022 awakened-woman.com

 

Is Living Together Ruining Your Relationship or Marriage?

The first proof of marriage between a man and a woman dates back to 2350 B.C. in Mesopotamia. The world has dramatically changed since the beginning of time. However, present mainstream society continues to use a similar blueprint for married life, similar to centuries ago. Man meets woman, courtship begins, a proposal, wedding celebration, and happily ever after living together. Not, necessarily, modern couples are increasingly rejecting the conventional way of doing things, opting for something different.

According to a New York Post article published on December 29, 2021, well-known television host, Trevor Noah, candidly expressed personal thoughts about living together. In the interview with SiriusXM’s “The Howard Stern Show,” Noah revealed that he is “not opposed” to marriage but is “a big advocate for not living together ever, even if you’re married.” In the same breath, he said that he thinks “One of the biggest reasons people get divorced and relationships break up is because of this cohabiting b*t that we’ve come to believe is the way relationships are supposed to be.”

Whether or not you agree with the celebrity’s opinion of couples living under one roof. The fact remains, sharing space with anyone is difficult, whether it is a partner or child, both require time to get acclimated. People are stubborn, set in their ways. Culture, habits, age, personality, and beliefs are all factors that can pose a challenge for couples living together. If you are not willing to make concessions then be prepared to experience a bit of suffering. Oftentimes, we romanticize living with a special someone without realizing that things change during the cohabitation process.

Oftentimes, we see the good during the throes of adoration. Love and passion are strong emotions that have enough power to blind the most well-adjusted man or woman. The time of courtship offers an opportunity to show ourselves in our best light to a partner. We show our prettiest face, the best mood, and play highlight reels to woo a new love. But what happens when two people make the decision to move in together? Even if a couple is not married, you are both making a commitment to share a home. This new living situation is accompanied by a list of potential issues that can challenge any relationship.

Possible problems that can arise over time include:

Battle of Who Does the Chores Washing dishes, dirty laundry, cleaning living quarters including the bathroom which is no one’s cup of tea. The division of labor is a sore spot, especially, when there is an assumption that the upkeep of a home is the woman’s responsibility. Agreeing on terms beforehand may help avoid arguments. For example, it isn’t uncommon for couples in single-income households to divide the work, so the partner in the home manages household responsibilities, while the second contributes financially.

Monotony is a Buzz-Killer The period of dating can be magical. The initial courtship is exciting and charming. Planning romantic moments keep things fresh and interesting, as you get to know your partner. Once you move in, responsibilities take over. Bills, work, family, and exhaustion trumps fun time. It takes effort to schedule activities or quality time together which can eliminate spontaneity.  Oftentimes, people take each other for granted after years or decades in a relationship.

Who Pays for What Talking about money makes many people uncomfortable. It is great to have two incomes coming into the households but many financial decisions need to take place to help ease economic pressure.  Bank accounts, credit scores, rent or mortgage, credit cards, debt, and spending should be part of the discussion when joining finances.

Alone Time or Hanging Out with Friends can be a sensitive topic for couples. While some people assume that coupling up means getting rid of “me” time or nights out with friends, it’s not always the case. In fact, it is healthy to have interests outside of a partner. Spending time with friends or alone, encourages individuality. Also, having a support network to assist you in life is important for both men and women.

The Thrill is Gone. Meeting the love of your life generates fireworks but sparks don’t last forever. The “butterflies” dissipate over time. Initial thirst for having it all the time is amazing until the newness wears off. Human beings are creatures of habit, we get used to partners or life can get in the way.  Sexy-time can go from 6 days a week to 2-3 times per month or none. This hurdle obstructs the connection and intimacy that are so critical to a relationship. Men and women deal with the lack of intimacy in different ways that can create conflict.

The living together experience can stimulate couples that are in like or love. For a large number of them, cohabitation promotes closeness. Managing day-to-day responsibilities together, being there for each other, and building something together can be powerful. The merging of two lives makes us feel less alone in the world. Having a witness to our lives, knowing that out of all the people in the world, you found your person is a special feeling,

We’ve heard there are two sides to every story. Little annoyances that used to be cute, can become irritating after the honeymoon is over. Living together is tough because sharing space feels suffocating to a point.  The pairs’ need for attention varies, making it tough if you live with someone that requires solitude to re-energize. Introverts, for example, need alone time to replenish their energy. Living with another person presents issues if they don’t get their solitude. It’s unfair to romanticize these scenarios, individual needs are different from person to person. Going into things with eyes wide open offers a better chance to assimilate, successfully. Human beings are complex, the rhythm between two people isn’t always in sync.

If you plan to marry or shack up, don’t be afraid to ask yourself and your partner serious questions. Are you ready to change your life? Can you give your energy on a daily? Have there been discussions about expectations? Will you be able to share a bathroom? How do you feel about divulging financial information? Does the trust exist to put yourself in an emotional, physical, or financially vulnerable state? Will they show up when things get hard? The list is endless, realistically, there aren’t enough questions to achieve any guarantee that it will work.  One critical point would be to check that you and your partner are on the same page about what it means to live together under one roof.

People are evolving, it’s okay to get creative about how you want to live your lives together. Couples are making independent choices. Living together apart (LAT) has become cool. It is an alternative way to full-time cohabitation.  Two people in love, commit to each other without residing in the same home 100% of the time, staying in separate homes part-time is growing in popularity but it isn’t for everyone.

Different things work for different people. I don’t believe that living together, necessarily ruins relationships. Only the people in it can destroy the union. Choose YOU. Do what makes you happy but remain open to compromise. The perfect formula for marriage or relationships has not been invented. Making an accord to contribute efforts and grant concessions may just be the secret sauce to finding the ideal balance for your domestic partnership.

Protected content. 2022 awakened-woman.com