Zaid Ismail's Blog, page 15

Selective inheritance

Our relationship with our parents, whether they were present or absent, wholesome or abusive, will have a distinct impact on how we shape our character through life.… Read more "Selective inheritance"

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Recycling generational trauma

One of the biggest mistakes in trying to break the generational trauma cycle is that we focus on NOT wanting to be like our parents. All that… Read more "Recycling generational trauma"

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If you think you can’t, then you won’t…

Archive Post… I can’t count how often I’ve been told, “Not everyone is like you!” That comment was usually in response to me encouraging them to do better or to rise above what was troubling them. You see, the assumption that a weak person makes is that some people are gifted to be more successful... Continue Reading →

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Burn yourself, why don’t you.

Anger always claims a higher price from ourselves than it ever will from the people on whom we project it. And before you assume that to be false because of the lasting impact that it has on its victims, understand that that lasting impact is because of their anger at the one who was taking... Continue Reading →

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Trading the future for the past

Sometimes, we lose ourselves in the struggle to build the future that we want, while forgetting that it’s a struggle because we’re still living in the past. Our expectations about what opportunities lie ahead, or what we believe we’re capable of achieving, are defined by what we believe to be true about the events that... Continue Reading →

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Confidently you…and only you

The question is, do you know yourself well enough to have an informed opinion of yourself? When we rely on others for more than just feedback, and instead, we allow them to validate who we are, we essentially give them the power to define how we feel about ourselves. Listening to what others think of... Continue Reading →

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Assumed to be inadequate

Assumptions are those things that eventually appear as facts because we’ve been making those assumptions for so long that we don’t see reason to question it any longer. It’s a theme that sets in over a long period of time, and becomes the lens through which we see the world. More importantly, it becomes the... Continue Reading →

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Defending myself into misery

Defensiveness is driven by a belief that you’re under attack. Hence the need to defend ourselves when someone tries to correct us. The defensive response on our part confirms that we assume their intention to be other than genuine concern for what we’re experiencing. We also assume that we must be right to feel a... Continue Reading →

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A brain dump

The obstinacy with which I once wrote, escapes me lately. It was an obstinacy borne from the absence of expectation. Self-awareness is easily distracted by familiarity that we may share with others. In a moment of inclusion after a lifetime of isolation, the self is quickly lost. Re-finding that which was lost becomes an arduous... Continue Reading →

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Collective guilt, collective malice

One of the trappings of the victim head space is that it convinces us to surround ourselves with those who will understand why we’re weak, or why we behave badly, because they themselves struggle with similar demons. Our need to avoid rejection or to feel validated causes us more harm than good. The comfort that... Continue Reading →

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