Zaid Ismail's Blog, page 18
June 13, 2022
To be loved
To be seen… Beyond the facade. To have the essence of who we are, known to those we trust and hold dear. To be heard… Not only when we cry out, but also when we speak gently of the troubles in our heart. To be loved… For more than how we make others feel, but […]
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June 12, 2022
Emotional wellbeing, not mental health
It is only through our internal wars that we lose sight of reality. The culture of labeling people dehumanises the very human that is struggling with their humanness. We focus on our demons so intently, that we become defined by them, bearing them patiently in quiet shame, protecting ourselves from being exposed for what we […]
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June 11, 2022
A path to insanity
We work with the assumption that our partners and our children share the same values that we try to uphold in our lives. This is rarely true. While we may share the same frame of reference or even the same cultural norms, values are much more personal, and therefore unique. Our personal value systems are […]
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June 10, 2022
Do what’s right, or else…
When raised with fear and compliance as the tool to ensure good behaviour, or religious subscription, we create validation-seeking individuals whose willingness to compromise on what is right will be driven by social acceptance. Instilling values in our children, or living by our own values, must be grounded in a substantial appreciation for why it …
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June 8, 2022
Torturous love
And so it is…love and torture have always been stablemates. Sometimes, without warning, someone enters your life and challenges every assumption that you ever made about what’s possible. What you thought you deserved was limited to what you were capable of achieving up to that point, and maybe just a quiet desire to acquire some …
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June 7, 2022
‘Sorry’ isn’t the hardest part
The only thing worse than an insincere apology is the apology that is offered with a demand that it be accepted. The most important part of an apology is not that it is made, but that it is authentic. Not just sincere. Authentic. If an apology is limited to a text message, or a few …
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June 5, 2022
That war within
Sometimes that village is a family, sometimes it’s a group, and sometimes it’s just one person who represents everything that the village stands for. That child grows into the raging adult who destroys every wholesome thing, because they feel like no one deserves peace if they were denied love and acceptance. When you treat the …
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June 2, 2022
Silent screams
Crying, or a show of emotion, is still a sign of hope that things can be different. It’s a means to communicate our dissatisfaction because we believe that our dissatisfaction matters. Our emotional expression is exactly that. An expression. No one expresses unless there is an expectation of a response. That response may be from …
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June 1, 2022
Whose pedestal is it?
When we see people for what we need them to be, rather than who they are, we elevate their position in our lives through no fault of their own. When they fail to meet the expectations that we created because of that unrealistic perspective that we had of them, we feel betrayed and then blame …
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May 31, 2022
That self-loathing demon
Ingratitude for the self is reflected in how much time we spend self-loathing. But self-loathing is disguised in many creative ways. The above list of 10 common points is only the tip of the iceberg. Self-loathing is rarely, if ever, a result of our current circumstances, and almost always a result of how we felt …
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