Zaid Ismail's Blog, page 22

Success at what cost?

The core of being human is the need to be significant to others, especially with significant others. Our efforts to be successful feel empty and unfulfilling if we have no reason to believe that it positively impacts the lives of those around us. So, we set out to be successful so that we can be […]

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Generational assumptions

One of the most common incorrect assumptions we make in life is assuming that others treat us badly because of who we are, and not because of their own demons. This is especially true about how we feel about our relationship with one, or both of our parents. Without realising it, two critical outcomes result […]

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Escaping addiction

It’s not drugs that steal our children from us. Like us, they also need to feel significant. Taking drugs is not just a bad habit. It’s a means to escape what we don’t want to deal with in the world around us. Is it a bad decision? Absolutely. Because escaping something never resolves it, it […]

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Cyclical abuse

At first, we remain in a bad relationship because we truly believe in the sincerity of the claims of our partner to want to improve, or to overcome what they’re struggling with. After some time, if we’re not careful, our inability to get them to follow through will convince us that we’re not a good […]

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Allow them to learn

Sometimes, out of concern, we try to protect those we care about from mistakes that they are inclined to make. We become the buffer between their bad decisions and the consequences thereof, so that they don’t find themselves in harm’s way. This show of concern or compassion is good, as long as it doesn’t become […]

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Are you grateful for you?

Trying is something that you do when you’re unsure of your ability to do it. Trying relates to the process of developing the skills or understanding to accomplish something, and not to the outcome itself. When we try to do something, it means that we don’t believe that we’re capable of doing it yet. Otherwise, […]

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A brain dump

Optimism is not always enough. It helps, but sometimes, I just want things to go easy for a bit. If I knew that a single moment of trusting someone could lead to a lifetime of struggle, I would not have been so trusting, or at least not so generous with my trust. But spilled milk […]

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Empty apologies

“Hey, I apologised. If you don’t accept my apology, that’s your problem, not mine.” Did someone say this to you after offending you or treating you badly? Maybe you felt you had reason to say it to someone else that rejected your apology? The moment we demand that our apology must be enough, we’re not […]

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We all want to be enough

We all need to feel like we’re enough… Enough to comfort those we love and care for… Enough to inspire them to rise above their trials… Enough to instil hope in them when they feel deflated… And more. Most importantly, we prevent those who care for us from being all this to us when we’re […]

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Whose war are you fighting?

When someone is at war within themselves, it’s unlikely that they will realise it. If you’re not aware of the impact that they have on you, you’ll think that their frustration or anger is directed at you, when it’s really just their need to release the tension that they feel within. Let the above cycle […]

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