Zaid Ismail's Blog, page 17
July 7, 2022
Gratitude is more than an attitude
An attitude of gratitude is not gratitude, because gratitude is not about attitude. It’s about a way of being. Too often we confuse appreciation with gratitude. Appreciation is what we express for favours or gifts, or the ease that we experience in our lives or with others. We appreciate the absence of problems, the presence […]
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July 6, 2022
Repost: Judging to be safe
Judgement is not always harsh. But, judgement is always focused on an external standard that we think others respect. Don’t under estimate how much this mindset causes problems in every sphere of our lives. Before throwing in the towel on that relationship, reconnect you with the reasons that gave you hope in the first place, […]
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July 5, 2022
Are you who you think you are?
Most people see themselves through someone else’s eyes, without ever realising it. Without exception, whenever we judge ourselves harshly, it’s because we’re measuring our worth based on what we think someone else will think of us rather than what we think of ourselves. That someone else is most often a parent or significant other. And […]
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July 4, 2022
Self-pity is never a recommendation
When we go out searching for safe spaces in which to grow, we’re more invested in hiding the shame that we feel about ourselves, than we are in growing. Rather than focusing on pushing ourselves into spaces that are uncomfortable, we need to focus on why we feel such shame to begin with. Shame doesn’t […]
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July 3, 2022
Do you remember you?
Sometimes, we lose ourselves to the hopelessness of others. Sometimes, we lose ourselves to the failed expectations of life. And sometimes, we lose ourselves because we thought it was our failings that earned us pain, while oblivious to the fact that it was in fact our success that threatened the ones we loved. In these, […]
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July 1, 2022
Where is your humanity?
Taking pride in the colour of your skin or ethnicity distracts you from your humanity. Our humanness, our gentleness, our inclination towards kindness – these are all part of our natural state. We lose it when our need to be associated with significance or superiority distracts us from this, and replaces it with the fear […]
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June 28, 2022
Are you there for you?
We’re more inclined to recognise the needs of the weak, than we are of the strong. Without meaning to, we diminish the humanness of those who persevere without complaint, because they often make it look so easy. When we’re the strong ones persevering without complaint, we risk diminishing our own humanness as well, because we […]
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June 17, 2022
Destroying peace to find peace
Rage is a destructive demand for significance when we believe that who we are is not enough to be important to those we love. The anger that spurs on the rage is a defence mechanism to protect ourselves from becoming invisible. We try, in our own little futile ways, to be enough without being able […]
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June 16, 2022
Honourable destruction
When honour is confused with social standing, abuse becomes an acceptable form of saving face. Beyond considerations of family honour, this toxic cultural practice convinces the individual that infidelity becomes excusable because divorce is deplorable. It convinces the brute of the justification of their rage when their partner rejects dehumanising practices by their in-laws. It […]
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June 14, 2022
Do you matter to you?
To be of consequence, or to feel significant, lies at the heart of our inspiration to accomplish anything. When we connect with conviction to the significance of who we are, and what value we add to the lives of others, we achieve a sense of peace and contentment. But, when we doubt this, we set […]
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