David Hadley's Blog, page 53

Dinosaurs and Evolution

Legin Hokeycokey is a leading palaeontologist who has come up with a revolutionary new theory about what happened to the dinosaurs after the comet impact that nearly wiped out all of them.

Palaeontologist have agreed for some time now that modern birds are the direct descendants of the dinosaurs, but controversially Hokeycokey claims that the evolution of dinosaurs did not stop there at only birds.

‘For a long time now,’ Hokeycokey said in a recent interview, ‘it has been accepted that politi...

The Budgiedeath Concacinatoron

Sump Budgiedeath is best remembered these days as the inventor of that thing in the kitchen drawer. The one that no-one can remember what it is used for, or even why it was bought in the first place. Occasionally, people will, while searching for something else in that drawer, come across Budgiedeath’s thing and spend a few moments contemplating it.

Sometimes, the more adventurous will take it out of the drawer and try to understand what it is used for and if it needed any other attachments t...

A Day in Another Life

She had a memory of this world. Beth knew she had lived this life before at some time. As far as she knew, she had not ever visited this part of the country before. But so much of it was familiar to her from somewhere. She just seemed to know where she was going and where everything: the shops, the parks, the cinemas and art galleries, were. Not that she was much of one for cinemas and she’d never been to an art gallery or museum outside of compulsory school visits when she was a child.

Yet h...

New on Wattpad: Juggling Balls Chapter 4

[Read Juggling Balls from thestart]

The woman was wearing the shirt John had been wearing the evening before. She smiled tentatively. ‘Hello, I’m Mandy, you must be… Martin… right?’ She ran a hand through her shaggy blonde curls.

Martin said hello and admitted he was, in fact, the Martin in question. Mandy’s smile lost its hesitancy as she spoke rapidly about how she had met John at the club Sparklers, the previous evening.

‘I said to Trish… that’s my mate. “Trish,” I said. “Trish, doesn’t he...

The Motion Picture Event of the Year

Guyrope Tentpole is as we all know the male lead in the recent film 50 Shades of Gravy, based on the worldwide bestselling erotic recipe book of the same name. The female lead is, of course, Hetty Pseudopod, who plays the submissive kitchen assistant Fanny Batter. She is lead into a relationship with the dominant chef, Wisk Doughhook, by his use of erotic gravy to intensify their lovemaking sessions to a state never before experienced by Fanny.

Everyone who has either read the book, seen the...

Mouse in the Bedroom

Mouse fell back on the bed laughing. She spread her arms and legs wide, touching the sides of the mattress with her hands and feet. The soles of her feet were dirty. She couldn’t see that, and even if she could, I knew she wouldn’t care.

He clothes were at my feet, where she’d dropped them. I bent down to pick them up. She rolled across the bed to look down at me, gathering up her clothes as if I was some maidservant.

‘Leave them.’ She thumped the sagging mattress behind her. ‘Come to bed.’

‘...

New at ABCtales: Britain’s Sports Personality of the Year

It was announced earlier today that the celebrity philosopher, Pensive Dropgoal, is to be the new Professor of Hot Beverage Studies at the University of Evesham. Of course, these days philosophy is a glamorous and highly paid profession. Devoted crowds of fans turn out in their hundreds of thousands, filling stadiums throughout the world, to watch their favourite philosophy teams take on each other in live debate.

[Continues here]

The Greatest Dance Craze of All Time

Panegyric Droopyswan is best known, these days, for her invention of the world’s most famous club dance. This dance craze began, as so many things did, back in the late 1960s and early 1970s. This was when the discotheque craze arrived, turning many clubs into little more than dance floors where a DJ would play records for the patrons to dance to. Back at the time, no-one expected the craze to last very long at all. However, it was cheap for the clubs to put on and many of the youngsters who...

We are All Cheese Dust

These days Paradigm Tachyonbadger is widely credited with the theoretical discovery of the quantum nature of cheese. For a long time, physicists at the Large Cheddar Collider on the Somerset/ Devon border have been conducting experiments to discover whether the so-called Tachyonbadger particle exists as this generally accepted theory postulates. The Tachyonbadger, or tasty, particle, is the substance many physicists believe that makes all cheeses from Camembert to Edam taste of cheese.

Not on...

New on Wattpad: Juggling Balls Chapter Three

[Read Juggling Balls from thestart]

A few moments later, Martin was back in the hallway heading to the kitchen. A frantic banging on the front door stopped him in his tracks. He opened the door to Fiona standing on the step struggling under the weight of what looked like the innards of a knackered photocopier.

‘Morning, Martin.’ Fiona struggled past him with the unwieldy machine.

‘Morning Fiona…, what is that?’

‘It’s the innards from a knackered photocopier.’ Fiona seemed surprised he even n...