David Hadley's Blog, page 51

Slow Motion Goose Bedazzlement

Trivialpursuit Sparklebadger was once the world’s leading archaeological expert in Slow Motion Goose Bedazzlement. As we all know, the UK has had a long tradition of Chicken-Intriguing, especially in recent years with the All-Nude code of the sport. A sport that, with the increasing take-up of High Definition TV, has won many more new fans and admirers.

However, Slow Motion Goose Bedazzlement has not had quite the overwhelming success as Chicken-Intriguing, Turkey Mesmerising or even Duck Baf...

The End of Searching

She wore a pale gold long silk robe, which she left untied, letting it flow around her naked body as she moved.

She held half a glass of dark red wine in her hand and wore only a single string of pearls around her neck, tight up against her throat like a collar. Her feet were bare; she lifted one high, bending at the knee as delicate as some wading bird.

I sat, watching her. Eventually, she danced her way across the fur rug towards where I sat.

She looked down at me. ‘Do you like what you see...

New at ABCtales: Wildlife Sanctuary

Even so, it was not quite what was expected. Even the gazelle was more than a little put out and the giraffe went off for a sulk.

The herd of zebras grazing in the conservatory were, the wife said, not their usual selves either. There was definitely something amiss in the whole house. Even the annual wildebeest migration from the front bedroom down to the kitchen and out across the lawn to their summer grazing area slightly north-east of the patio was far more restrained than usual.

[Continue...

A Dangerous Trade

Across the vast plains they rode, looking for a place they could halt, if only for a few hours. They needed a chance to get their breath back, a chance to look behind to see if the others were there, still, behind them. They had ridden for a long time, day after day, across the land that was empty of any human homes or habitation.

At first, she had glared at him, fought him in every way she could. She knew her people were behind them, maybe even catching up. So every delay she caused, every m...

The Philosophy of Doing Bugger All

Runningback Kneetrembler is probably best known as the world’s leading philosopher of Doing Bugger All. Of course, as usual, the Ancient Greeks first developed the philosophical system of Doing Bugger All. The philosopher Sycthexraxesthophin developed the basic theories of General Arsing About when he came up with the idea of Doing Bugger All one day when he was trying to remember how to spell his own name and decided he couldn’t be arsed.

Over the centuries since then, of course, Doing Bugge...

Tales of the Old Used to Be

There was a time when there used to be stories here. These fires, burning through the night, would be where the people gathered as they waited for sleep to come. We would tell each other tales; sometimes the tales of The Old Used to Be, sometimes tales of hunts, scavengers, loves and loses.

Even then, I think we knew the people were dying. Back in The Old Used to Be, there were many more people, at least according to some of those old stories, there were people beyond number. Some dismissed t...

New on Wattpad: Juggling Balls Chapter Six

[Read Juggling Balls from thestart] Chapter Six

Martin and Sam sat side by side on Martin’s bed looking down at the boxes.

‘Well,’ Sam said.

‘Well.’

‘I found this in the hall,’ Lisa said, coming into the room and giving Martin a small padded envelope. ‘It must’ve fallen off one of the boxes.’

‘It must be the bill for all this.’ Martin waved the envelope at the pile of boxes. ‘Not that I could ever afford it. Still, it was a nice dream while it lasted.’ He opened the envelope and frowned. It c...

When This Cruel World Turns Cold

The winter came slowly this time. We were ready for the cold, the dark and the wind-driven snow. We knew…

The Rude and Naughty – Both Theoretical and Applied

Semblance Wombatdesign is best known as the world’s leading expert on the Rude and Naughty at both theoretical and applied levels. Her General Theory of Kink is often cited as the groundbreaking work in the field, especially in the field (or allotment) where the use of the dibber for erotic purposes has now become the norm. Not only that her paper on the theoretical uses of the cucumber – whole or sliced (in the half-time) sandwiches – has, many claim, revolutionised the erotic relationships...

This Land’s End

He drove into the evening, as the sun grew lower in the sky. He saw the land end and the sea begin. Then he saw the cottage there on the coast.

She stood outside the open door waiting for him. ‘You came?’ she said.

He nodded. ‘How could I not come?’ He turned to see the sun edge lower over the sea as the sky turned a deep orange.

She took his hand as they watched the sunset.

‘Are you sure it is tonight?’ He spoke without turning away from the sunset.

‘Yes,’ she said, also looking straight ahe...