David Hadley's Blog, page 49

The Wizarding Diversity Programme

‘Anyway,’ she said.

‘Any way? Are you sure?’ Tulp said. He looked down each of the three other roads in turn, then longingly down the track back to the village.

‘No, I mean… well, anyway,’ Tessla said. ‘This is goodbye and all that.’ She swapped her wizard’s staff to her other hand and held out her right hand towards Tulp.

Tulp looked down at her hand as though she was offering him a long-dead fish.

‘In the town, they shake hands when they meet or say goodbye.’ Tessla explained.

‘Do they? Why...

New on Wattpad: Juggling Balls Chapter 09

[Read Juggling Balls from thestart] Chapter Nine

‘Why now?’ Lisa said as she and Martin stood outside the supermarket doorway, watching Sam trying to wrestle a trolley free from the, seemingly welded-together, rest of the trolley herd. Martin held up the list so Lisa could re-read the message at the beginning of it.

**URGENT SHOPPING LIST**

It is vital you get the items on this list today, as soon as possible. It will be necessary for Martin, Lisa and Sam to all go in order to carry the necessa...

Word Magic

Just forget everything else.

There is nothing here except this empty page that waits. The hesitant footsteps come, slowly, tentative at first like some cautious animal stepping out over the page.

These words, like this, have never been here before. Each blank page is something new, something yet to be. The words become like footprints across the snow-bare page, leaving echoes of the thoughts that put them there. The selection of each word placed like a careful footprint across the blankness.

...

Government Action on Addiction

There is growing concern in the UK, as well as many other Western countries about how fat, bloated and unhealthy their government have become over recent decades. Many analysts put this down to government’s unhealthy addiction to taxation. Many governments, not just in the UK, do seem to think over-gorging themselves on taxation is a way to solve their problems, or, at least, delay those problems until someone else is in charge. However, countless studies by academics and independent think ta...

Free Kindle Humour Novella: The Woman with the Golden Sex Spatula

My Kindle humour novella The Woman with the Golden Sex Spatula is FREE for the next five days from today.

Get it here (UK) or here (US).

The Woman with the Golden Sex Spatula

Someone has stolen the most valuable erotic artefact in the British National Museum of Perversion: The Golden Sex Spatula.

To solve the mystery, the UK’s Central Perversion Enforcement Directorate has no choice but to call in the directorate’s leading investigators and experts in all that is rude and naughty: Norbert Tro...

Sometimes We Forget

Of course, we forgot. Forgetting is so easy, except for those things we do not want to forget. Even now, after all these years, us older ones cannot forget those times, or what came after. Now, though, there is so much to remember, and – well – sometimes, we forget.

Susan must have forgotten, that’s all. Yesterday was a bright sunny day, one of those days where it is easy to forget.

We found her – what remained of her – in the woods to the east of the compound.

She’d gone out alone, alone and...

New at ABCtales: A Revolution In Competitive Cycling

Velodrome Creamcheese is probably the UK’s leading long-distance cyclist. Many sports commentators and travel journalists put this down to her innovative use of the Cheap Day-Return Rail ticket in her races. Many sports experts also say that it is the use of such tactics, up to and including the short haul domestic flights she used last year, that enabled her to win the Trans-USA cycle race. All of which has allowed Creamcheese to stay at the top of competitive cycling while at the same time...

Military Intelligence

Sopwith Staggering-Incompetence was, of course, one of the Berkshire Staggering-Incompetences, who owned most of England up to the end of WWI. Sopwith Staggering-Incompetence was the son of Handley Page Staggering-Incompetence, the general who had caused the most casualties in a single day on the Western front. This feat of military and political incompetence remained unmatched until the arrival of Tony Blair as British Prime Minister.

However, Sopwith Staggering-Incompetence served with brav...

The Others

The mornings were cold, dark and slow. Jenna felt a reluctance to leave the warmth of her bed and shuffle out into the cold and dark, especially now. She knew she was safe, for now, inside the house. But she didn’t know how long it would last. The Others, out there, were learning, or remembering, new things every night. One night, Jenna knew, they would find a way into the houses.

Then nowhere would be safe.

She would have to move, find some place new. Perhaps there were places out there wher...

The Heyday of Theoretical and Applied Naughtiness

Stalactite Velocipede became the UK’s leading professor of Theoretical and Applied Naughtiness back in the fully-bearded days of the late 1970s. Up until then, of course, there was little in the way of theoretical understanding of the best ways to go about being either rude or naughty. Most people up until then sort of made it up as they went along, hoping for the best.

However, with the rise of theoretical studies in so many fields, the intellectuals of the time thought that this lackadaisic...