David Hadley's Blog, page 45

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The Sexy Universe

Of course, those people interested in such matters will already have some idea of the massive breakthrough in science last week. Physicists at the Large Hardon Collider Facility in Little Frigging in the Wold successfully proved of the existence of the – up until now theoretical – Rude and Naughty particles.

Of course, it was Einstein himself who first postulated the theoretical underpinnings of the rude and naughty with his General Theory of Rudeness, way back in the 1930s. However, later wo...

Britain’s Leading TV Naturalist

Saladoil Penguincheese is probably the UK’s leading TV naturalist. He has appeared in, and narrated, some of the BBC’s most watched and highest rated natural world documentaries of the last decade. This includes the award-winning Day in the Life of a Discarded Crisp Packet. Most of us on our strolls through the countryside and urban…

This Moment is an Oasis

There is only the space between then and now. The gap between what was and what will be shrinks down to this instance, this moment she holds in her hand. She looks away, first one way and then the other. Over her left shoulder lies the past, some of which we shared. Over her right…

The Great Breakfast War

Sir Haberdashery Parkingrestrictions was probably the most famous English knight during the long and bloody time of the Twenty-Seven Year, Two Months and Five Weeks War that raged across Europe towards the end of the Middle-Ages. It was Henry VIII’s need to get his leg over in a legitimate way that led to England’s break with the Catholic Church. However, the schism had been brewing a long time over far more fundamental differences between the English way of life and that of this country’s co...

Free Kindle Humour Novel: In the Beginning

In the Beginning

FREE for the next Five days. Get it here (universal link)

In the Beginning

It’s a God’s life.

Albert Meadows, recently made redundant and tired of his disappointing life, is looking to make a new start and is desperate to find something worthwhile to fill his time.

So, what could be better than creating a brand new universe of his own, in his garden shed?

But, when he introduces intelligent life to his new universe, things don’t turn out as he planned, especially when the...

Undercover Policing and Politics

Not long after the notorious MP Bribery Scandal of the late 1990s, a leading broadsheet newspaper revealed documents that proved there were some honest MPs in the Houses of Parliament. The newspaper claimed to have evidence that some MPs had even refused to be bribed, either by wealthy constituents or by large multinational businesses. Some had even turned down the chance for rapid promotion through their party’s ranks by refusing to vote for some of the policies of their party they disagreed...

Cheese and a National Disgrace

Helicobacter Mongooseincline first came to prominence as the world’s leading authority on the history of the cheeseboard, often mesmerising TV audiences during the 37 years his History of Cheese appeared on the BBC. His even longer 42-year stint as the host on the nightly The Cheeseboard at Night made him one of the most recognised faces on TV, even though hardly anyone except devoted cheeseboard enthusiasts watched the programme. However, when the BBC moved away its original remit to educate...

Dreams are Easy

Sometimes, Nella thought, dreams are easy. She had known Shola all her life, and she knew Dran too. She knew what Shola wanted, and she knew that Dran was interested too. She would speak to Tallen, the village elder and the wise woman, Drona, and tell them what she had learnt. Within the year, probably after the harvest Dran and Shola would be married.

Nella had sat by the side of the old village dreamspeaker, Hona, for all the years of her apprenticeship, learning the art of telling the peop...

Another Social Media Pioneer

Trainset Weaselpanties is probably – these days – best known as the creator of one of the most vital aspects of the internet as we know it today. In the early days there were those who came up with the necessary technology to make the internet work. Several others came up with the appropriate coding, algorithms and file compression routines that now enable users to send as many pictures and videos of underdressed young ladies or cute cats doing cute things as possible. All without the long wa...