David Hadley's Blog, page 47

The Sexygoat Hairiness Analyser

Pinstripe Sexygoat first came up with the idea for the device that made him famous in the 1970s. As we all know from our perusals of such historical documents of the time such as The Joy of Sex, sex was a very much hairier business back in those days. Although there has been a slight re-bearding of the male population in recent years, leading commentators have dismissed claims that a current spike in the National and International Hirsute Indexes are anything more than a blip. Very few of the...

There Were Stars in Her Eyes

There were stars in her eyes. Sonla could feel the energy of those bright points of light pulsing with the power of possibility. Everywhere she looked, she saw the emptiness, waiting for her. When she turned to see the vast, infinite dimensions of possibility around her, she could see the stars in her eyes projected over that void, populating it, turning nothing into something.

Sonla had travelled the void for countless eons, staring out into the nothingness to fill it with the stars she saw...

Sometimes, the Story Is You…

Where those story ideas come from:

I have this very handy app on my phone called MightyText. You put it on your phone, link it to your computer, and you can answer texts directly from your laptop without having to pick up your phone which of course also displays the messages. Texts people send you show up on your computer screen and you can read scan them while you are doing what are (usually) more important tasks or answer them right away.

Source: Sometimes, the Story Is You…

Free Kindle Sci-Fi Comedy Novel: Juggling Balls

FREE for the next Five days

Juggling Balls available here (UK) or here (US) or here (Global)

Martin Laws hates mysteries.

So why has someone sent him a bag of juggling balls?

Why has he no memory of buying a new computer?

Why has that new computer decided Martin needs to go shopping?

Why does a hairstylist he’s never met before keep saluting him?

Most of all, why are so many Elvis impersonators trying to kill him?

Juggling Balls – a science fiction comedy featuring time travel, mind control...

Lord of All the Northlands

And so it came it pass that Lord Stoatbeguiler of House Furryknickers became Lord of all the Northlands, well, except for that bit when the savages from Beyond the Fence held on. But Lord Stoatbeguiler knew that autumn was coming, and he knew how much the men from Beyond the Fence were terrified of having their nuts attacked by starving squirrels.

It was funny how the men from Beyond the Fence preferred to have their riches in nuts, rather than gold or silver. But Lord Stoatbeguiler had heard...

New at ABCtales: Celebrity Nude Selfie Dancing Bake-off On Ice

In the end, it became inevitable. First was increasing domination of the TV schedules by celebrity versions of popular talent shows masquerading as cooking programmes. All coupled with the desire to watch celebrities making arses of themselves on the dance floor and on ice. This combined with the growing interest in those same celebrities in a state of undress found in their allegedly private selfies, led to a spark igniting in some Programme Concept Engineer’s momentary lapse from self-aggra...

Such Sad Grey Eyes

She had such sad grey eyes, deep and unfathomable. I could lie there in her small bed, just lost in those eyes as though deep on some journey far away from any land I had known before.

‘Where are you from?’ I asked her once.

Ailene was silent for a while. ‘Far away,’ she said simply and then closed her eyes, ending my journey deep into their secrets. She rolled over away from me.

I thought about asking how far away, but I knew would not get a straightforward answer. Ailene was not a straightf...

The Sandwich Uncertainty Paradox

Dirigible Spankmybotty first came to the notice of the world with his General Theory of Sandwiches. Up until then physicists, mathematicians and anyone in need of a sandwich was confronted with the Sandwich Uncertainty Paradox first defined by Cantor. This paradox sets out the mathematical relationships between the various substances used as sandwich fillings. In particular, how they can often lead to utter sandwich breakdown.

As we all know, sandwiches are inherently unstable. More often tha...

When the World was not Itself

Somehow, this world was not right. Lou knew there was something wrong, but putting her finger on that wrong was difficult. It was as though the closer Lou got to whatever it was that was wrong, the further away it appeared to get. Each time she stopped, looked around and saw that this world was not quite right, she could see something in the periphery of her vision that maybe could explain it. If only she could reach it, but each time her mind tried reaching for this thing, it evaded her, fad...

New on Wattpad: Juggling Balls Chapter 10

[Read Juggling Balls from thestart]

Back at the house, Sam and Lisa unloaded the shopping from the car. Meanwhile, Martin slipped back into his room to see if the computer had come up with anything new. Nothing happened with the computer at all. Some sort of screen-saver was throwing random blocks of colour around the screen. Martin tapped the mouse, the shopping list and the mysterious email reappeared.

Martin was re-reading the email from the Annabelle person that had caused Mandy to start...