David Hadley's Blog, page 56

That Bloke Off the Telly Who was in That Thing with Whatshisname

Pushbike Tribblecheese is probably best known these days as ‘That bloke off the telly who was in that thing with whatshisname.’ It takes many years of dedication to the art of acting to achieve such an accolade, especially in these multichannel times. Although, most TV programmes these days seem to be cheaply made tat about people cooking, decorating, gardening or other mundane minutiae. Or failing that, so-called documentaries where someone famous walks around their overseas travel expense a...

The Hunters

Marion crouched down at the edge of the clearing, listening. At first, all she could hear was the thump of her own heart, the throb of the blood in her veins, and her panting breath. She took several slow deep breaths, her hands pressing down on her thighs.

There was a rustle, sudden in the undergrowth.

She turned as some creature; small, probably the size of a large badger or a young deer, scampered off away from her.

Marion was hungry; she knew that soon, unless she could find some way out...

A Shiny Thing

Twoforthepriceofone Weaselsemblance is undoubtedly the UK’s leading contemporary novelist. His magnum opus Shiny Thing is a 2598 page multi-award winning expose of 24 hours in the life of a North Grimsby streetlight. Rumour has it that Hollywood is close to signing a multimillion-dollar deal to make a film of the book, with several of Hollywood’s most famous leading men keen to take the central role. After all, as one movie agent said ‘it is not often in a film career that a leading star woul...

The Prey and Survival

She hung there, wrapping the darkness around herself like a cape. This world had changed so much while she’d slept. It no longer felt like her world at all. When she’d laid her tired body down for the long sleep, she was expecting the prey to die, to become extinct.

The prey had been dying off in their hundreds, thousands of some disease. She had been hungry for a long time. She could not live off the diseased prey they made her ill too. So she’d had one great feed of all the healthy prey she...

Sharing

Sharing

It all begins again, once more we find
Ourselves still waiting, wondering if this
Is where it will remain or what will change.

It happens slowly and carefully now
As though we’re making something newly bright
And precious out of these once empty words.

The time around us turns upon itself
Always on the outside of us, as we exist
Only within this one eternal moment.

The rain is falling still outside, as day
Dissolves into the night beyond our reach,
Awareness, understanding and our tim...

Totaltool’s Sensual Eating

Humperdink Totaltool first became interested in the art of erotic foodstuffs – as many of us do – in the later teenage years.

Of course, many of us almost instinctively understand the sensual delights of the lemon meringue or sherry trifle in those first few post-pubescent years. But for Totaltool it was very different. Up until then, he was an avid collector of the Panini stickers that obsessed most boys of the era. However, Totaltool concentrated on that season’s UK Politicians Collection....

The Alien Invasion has Already Happened

Anthracite Rinsecycle is probably the UK’s leading Alien Phenomena Investigator. For a long time now, there have been many conspiracy looni… theorists who have claimed that the Earth has already been invaded by alien beings from other worlds who have secretly taken over the world’s governments and are now using them for their own ends.

As any cursory glance at the species of being we call politicians does suggest, this idea is not without some initial plausibility. Although, the whole conspir...

The Numbers of the Beasts

They are out there, the creeping things. A smell blows in on the breeze, a smell of corruption, of rotten meat, of beast. A smell of creatures long lost to memory, but still lurking there, waiting to return.

No-one knows where they came from. Some talk of conspiracies and experiments. Others look at the sky and talk of aliens. There are others too who speak of things and times of long ago. A memory beyond memory of times and places back before history began, when this was a very different wor...

Rock Music and the Double-Entry Scene

Bluesscale Cordsequence is probably best known as the lead electric washboard player with 1970s progressive rock behemoth Cashbook Reconciliation. A band at the time who were one of the major acts in what later became known as the British Double-Entry Scene.

Of course, traditional English folk music had always had strong links to accountancy, auditing and other traditional rural pursuits and pastimes. As shown in such traditional songs like Lord Percy’s Audit Trail, My True Love is a Trial Ba...

Free Kindle SF Comedy Novel: Juggling Balls

FREE for the next Five days

Juggling Balls available here (UK) or here (US)

Martin Laws hates mysteries.

So why has someone sent him a bag of juggling balls?

Why has he no memory of buying a new computer?

Why has that new computer decided Martin needs to go shopping?

Why does a hairstylist he’s never met before keep saluting him?

Most of all, why are so many Elvis impersonators trying to kill him?

Juggling Balls – a science fiction comedy featuring time travel, mind control implants and a f...