David Hadley's Blog, page 57

The Sculpture Garden

It was the neighbour who alerted us.

Mary was driving, so I took the call.

Mary glanced across at me after I’d signed off on the shout. ‘What does that mean?’

I shrugged. ‘It could be anything.’

‘Yes, that’s what worries me.’ The scar above her eye crinkled as she frowned.

‘Don’t worry,’ I said. ‘I’ll be there to back you up.’ I tapped her thigh.

‘You back me up. I was thinking you could go first.’

‘What about sexual equality and all that?’

‘Equality? If you don’t get your hand off my thigh,...

New at ABCtales: The Sensual Kitchen

Of course, Rupertina Dumplings was one of the first in the country to try it. She has since her early days as a TV chef always had a keen interest in the erotic possibilities inherent in the everyday world. For instance, Dumplings was the first to take the erotic possibilities of the egg-whisk seriously. This, long before any other celebrity TV chef used one. Even before celebrity TV chef, Dollop Servingsuggestion, used one to whip up a kitchen maid into a state of sensual awareness in the vi...

Shadows Only

Shadows Only

We are shadows only, leaving
No real mark of our soft passing.
Leaving only hollow echoes
Fading slowly between then and now.

Memories are small and fragile.
Lost amongst the magnitude of what
Ought to be remembered as days
Go by, falling one after another

Into the heaping past. Lost to recall
In the deepening mists of a time
Going far beyond what reaching fingers
Could ever hope to touch even once again.

Now we shift and fade as the sun rises up
Taking our hiding places away. Sh...

Internet Mass Debater of the Year Award

Pendulous Stoatdangler is the most famous internet debater in the world. This year he again won – for the tenth consecutive year – the Internet Mass Debater of the Year Award. Although the award ceremony was once again – as it was two years ago – held up while Stoatdangler exchanges angry emails with the prize-winning judges and the organising committee. This exchange concerned his demands that the trophy should be several times larger than it actually is in order fully to recognise the scale...

The 1970s and the Rise of Erotic Knitting

Puddleduck Noflyzone initially came to prominence with her first TV series for the BBC. Noflyzone’s Sexy Knitting Hour was a staple of 1970s early evening TV and one of the first colour Television programmes to feature full frontal knitwear in an erotic context. Of course, back then multi-coloured jumpers, sweaters, cardigans and – of course – tank tops were the height of fashion, not a great height admittedly, but a height none the less.

Back then, there was a great deal of sexual experiment...

New at Wattpad: The Princess and the Frog

Well, thanks a lot. That wasn’t a very nice thing to do. That’s the last time I invite you over to my lily pad to share a tasty fresh fly – not that I suppose you’ll be interested, not anymore.

What upsets me most was that it was me, I saw her first. I remember it was a lovely sunny day, gentle ripples on the pool, a nice breeze and the promise of many flies.

‘Look over there!’ I said.

‘What?’

‘It’s – unless I’m very much mistaken – a princess.’

‘Right,’ you said and hopped off.

You sat right...

The Door Out of Her Dreams

There used to be a way back. There used to be some way out for her. Sometimes it was a struggle to break free and escape, but up until now, there had always been a way out.

Now, though, Sondra could not find the key that would unlock the door and let her out of this place. She turned and looked back, watching the landscape change behind her. Until she arrived back at the door, it had been a soft green valley. Slow undulating green hills sloping down towards a gently meandering stream.

Then sh...

Theoretical Physics and Interior Design

Ostrich Formicafetish is best known in the UK as a leading theoretical Physicist. Of course, he is most famous for his set of equations known as Elephant Theory. Although these days the phrase elephant in the room has become a bit of a cliché, the idea itself was almost completely unknown until Formicafetish’s groundbreaking research established the concept.

The concept of the elephant in the room first appears in Formicafetish’s General Theory of Rooms. This was a paper from the Spring Theor...

Sensual Mathematics and Hard Sums Theory

Cosine Inclinedplane is probably the UK’s leading authority on the aspect of theoretical mathematics known as Hard Sums Theory. From an early age, Inclinedplane expressed a fascination with numbers that left most of her contemporaries bewildered and confused. She later claimed in an interview that she knew how many beans made five while her classmates were still trying to develop a practical approach to colouring-in that didn’t go over the lines.

However, it was not until she reached universi...

Beyond These Skies

Beyond these skies, there are places where we meet again. We take a journey deep into the distances of these night skies, beyond the stars to a time when we were in each other’s arms. Time and place, here and now, there and then, twist around each other and turn into these locations where we can go, far beyond the sky and far beyond the night.

It was Terry who taught me that the past is not a memory, not a history book, not a flickering image on a screen of something captured long ago. I, lik...