Jordan Antonacci's Blog, page 48

Poem: It’s Fall

Beneath a canopy

of overhanging trees

leaves

fall like rain

They get caught

in the subtle breeze

and they swirl

and they sway

As they fall

to their death

I hear the wind

before it hits

A gentle roar

through every branch

that makes the leaves

clatter and dance

Then that wind

washes over my skin

as if to cleanse

Summer’s sins

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Pumpkins out

on the front lawns

Early dusk

late dawn

I climb trails

to the very top

then I look out

in awe

I see the trees

All of them

painted in shades

of autumn

Shades of yellow

shades of orange

I breathe in the sight

as I adore it

This is the voice

of mother

the instrument

of nature

making music

for all to hear

everyone

please, come near

It’s Fall

Hey peoples, thanks for stopping by and checking out today’s post! If you liked it, please do leave a like and don’t forget to follow along

Talk soon,

Jordan Antonacci

SnapChat: jtantonacci

Instagram: jordanantonacci

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Check out my mystery novel, The Killed Conscience, on Amazon and Goodreads!

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40195343-the-killed-conscience

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Poem: Close Your Eyes and Drive

I was out

on a drive

and the weather

was just right

Through the glass

I was kissed

by soft light

My dear friend

I cracked

the window

welcomed

the Fall Air

the cool breeze

through my hair

and out the window

blew my cares

I was out

on a drive

Everything

was just fine

I looked up

into the sky

Saw a bird

soaring so high

and I wondered

what it might

be like

So I took a breath

I closed my eyes

as I still

continued to drive

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No longer

was I in the car

I was somewhere else

Somewhere far

Up there

with the bird

looking down

upon a green world

And though I knew

I could crash and die

I had never felt

so fully alive

The song of wind

upon my skin

lending the freedom

of a kid

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But I opened my eyes

continued to drive

leaving a question

in hindsight

If I crash

maybe…

Could I then…

could I fly?

Hey peoples, thanks for stopping by and checking out today’s poem! If you liked it, please leave and like and don’t forget to follow along

Talk soon,

Jordan Antonacci

SnapChat: jtantonacci

Instagram: jordanantonacci

Poem: I Killed Her

So sweet she was

sweet we were

before and after

her sweet sweet murder

To me

she seemed to be

a rare breed

a gift I couldn’t

keep

A tune I couldn’t

sing

A mystery

meant to remain

in pieces

She was

a dream

then the harsh smack

of reality

But she always

Always

made me bleed

Perhaps we were

destined to end

before we even

began

Maybe it was

too much

Too much love

and us

just too young

Unable to

contain

a clash like

the Big Bang

Then I realized

she wasn’t who

I once knew

once upon

a happier time

And that girl

well she wasn’t

coming back

into my world

But I couldn’t just

let her go

Coz we were supposed

to make a home

So I held her under

the tears I’d cried

as a roaring thunder

sounded through the sky

And I squeezed

till I broke her into

pieces

Just the way

she tried

to leave

me

Hey everyone! Thanks for stopping by MrHushHush Entries and checking out today’s poem. If you liked it, please do leave a like and don’t forget to follow along!

Talk soon,

Jordan Antonacci

SnapChat: jtantonacci

Instagram: jordanantonacci

Check out my mystery novel, The Killed Conscience, on Amazon and Goodreads (more review on Goodreads)!

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40195343-the-killed-conscience

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My first day in Myrtle Beach, SC

Palm trees in the wind. Sand laid out all white and soft like the summer’s snow. With every step your foot sinks into it till your toes are covered.

My first day in Myrtle Beach has been amazing.

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My mom brought us to Myrtle beach plenty of times when I was a kid. Being only a seven hour drive from where we lived in Knoxville at the time, it was our main destination spot. Convenient. Affordable. Since we moved to Texas eleven years ago, I’ve only revisited the vacation hotspot along South Carolina’s Atlantic coast one other time.

As a few of you know, I’ve begun traveling, and one of the first spots on my list was—drumroll please—Myrtle beach. Considering she recently took a blow from hurricane Florence, I’d say she’s undoubtedly still as beautiful as ever.

Myrtle beach is like tourist central; the most popular area being The Boardwalk—a bustling strip of gift shops, sea food restaurants, piers, and the well-known Sky Wheel that all sits along the sandy shores. Some of my favorites are The Gay Dolphin (gift shop, not a sex club), Henna Tattoo, and Ripleys Believe it or not Museum. I basically lived there as a kid.

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So I got in at about 3:30 AM last night. I parked at wal mart, slept, then at 7 came down to the beach and took a walk. At that time, there were very few people on the beach (mainly joggers), and the fat bright sun was just peaking over the glistening ocean water. The breeze was so faint that the palm trees looked picture-still. Though I was running on fumes it was a very peaceful morning.

As I write this, it’s 9 PM and I’m out taking a nighttime stroll along the beach. Oddly enough there looks to be even more people out than this afternoon, shining the flashlights from their phones over the sand as they look for sea shells and the very elusive shark teeth. Out ahead, the night sky has met an even blacker ocean water. The breeze has picked up from this morning; it blows a salty mist across your skin as the waves crash and roll up the shore and over your feet.

Between early morning and nighttime walks on the beach, it’s hard to say which is my favorite. They both have their perks, but I don’t think there’s anything that can beat that sunrise over the water.

Have you ever been to Myrtle Beach? What’s your favorite time of day to walk on the beach?

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If there’s anyone concerned about my sleeping arrangements, I want you to know I got a hotel. And pizza.

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Thanks for stopping by and checking out today’s post! More coming soon

“She’s getting too close.”

Those words hold such a familiar sound as they echo through my life. I didn’t realize my tongue had become so familiar with such a heartbreaking sentence. But as they yet again fell from my lips like 100 pound weights, I realized I may have a problem.

I have a friend. He’s been a friend to the family for a while, so he’s always looked out for me like something of a father figure. Every so often, he’ll ask about the girls in my life.

He asked again today.

I didn’t think when I gave him a bitter shoulder shrug and told him “…this new girl is getting too close.”

He shook his head in disapproval. “You say that with every girl. Do you know that?”

After a brief, eye opening moment of reflection, I realized he was right. Not knowing how to respond, I shook my head and chuckled. “You sound like Mom.”

“Just because someone wants to be around you doesn’t mean they’re getting too close. You gotta stop that,” he said.

I knew he was right.

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I complain when feeling lonely, but never want to let anyone in. “She’s getting too close.” It’s strange, because this last girl I was seeing was something next to perfect. We had so much in common that it was quite scary. We also had a great time together: staying out all night at the lake, watchings scary movies, talking for hours in a parking lot… She even got us a hotel room one night because she hated when I’d sleep in my car in parking lots. She genuinely cared–and even when it became obvious that I was distancing myself, she persisted, silently begging to get in. And what did I do?

I closed the blinds and locked all the doors. I turned off the porch light and left her in the cold dark, pretending I couldn’t hear her.

Nobody gets in. If they do, then they certainly don’t get out. Not alive, anyway.

Why I do this is something I can’t quite explain. Because I myself don’t know.

Opening up, letting someone in, becoming vulnerable–it’s just something that’s never felt natural to me. The thought makes me cringe.

I guess I’m just a very cold, detached, careless person…

And it’s insane, because everything I can’t let myself embrace is everything I’ve ever wanted.

What’s wrong with me?

Hey peoples! Thanks for stopping by MrHushHush Entries and checking out today’s post. As I write this, I’m sitting on a picnic bench beneath the swaying Gatlinburg trees in TN. So peaceful. Anyway, hope you liked the post. If so, please leave a like and don’t forget to follow along!

Jordan Antonacci

SnapChat: jtantonacci

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jordananton...

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jordan.anton...

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I’m sorry.

Check out my mystery novel, The Killed Conscience, on Amazon and Goodreads!

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40195343-the-killed-conscience

Poem: Born Dead

April 25th

1994

Clouds split

and Heavens roared

The world received a gift

as the full moon poured

Something beautiful and wicked

to be remembered

forevermore

Upon my birth

the dirt

of this Earth

was forever

cursed

I came into this place

about a week late

Wherever I was

they told me that

I’d overstayed

Maybe

it was just

that great

Or maybe I knew

of Earth’s hate

and its bittersweet

sour taste

When I arrived

I was first met

by life’s light

but had yet to meet

my first breath

Where there was meant

to be a scream

the crippling silence

of a mother’s deepest

darkest dreams

flooded throughout

all of me

Even today

I still feel like

a piece of me

never fully

came to life

Hey peoples! Thanks for stopping by MrHushHush Entries and checking out today’s poetry. Hope you liked it; if so, please do leave a like and don’t forget to follow along!

Fun Fact: the poem’s a true story.

Announcement

I’ve mentioned (countless times) on my posts how I’ve always wanted a travel blog. I’ve done a few travel posts in the past, and a few more are about to come your way. Beginning the first of October, I’ll be doing some brief traveling. Isn’t Fall just the BEST time to see the world? Honestly, I don’t know when it’ll end–but it’s definitely about to begin. So, if you enjoy travel posts, then do stay tuned

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Talk soon,

Jordan Antonacci

SnapChat: jtantonacci

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jordananton...

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jordan.anton...

Check out my mystery novel, The Killed Conscience, on Amazon!

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40195343-the-killed-conscience

Tip Jar

Poem: Hiding in Plain Sight

I hide

in plain sight

Pitch black

empty eyes

shielded “Bye”

a smiling mask

My disguise

My fake laugh

I’m not quite

who I am

It’s where I

go to act

like I haven’t cried

and behind my back

isn’t a knife

covered in fresh blood

coz I’m a nice guy

in your friendly neighborhood

But if you were

in my mind, you’d see

layers of hurt

malicious crime scenes

And beneath the dirt

the real me

The only me

I’ll ever let you see

I hide

in plain sight

Pitch black

hollow eyes

shielded by

a smiling mask

my disguise

my fake laugh

I’m not quite

who you think I am

Hey peoples! Thanks for stopping by MrHushHush Entries and checking out today’s piece of poetry. If you liked it, please do leave a like and don’t forget to follow along

Where’s my Love?

A promise

as solid

as the winter

wind

can get

swept up

just

like dust

You offered me

all of my dreams

like projections

on a blank screen

but when I went

to touch the scene

you let it fall

with effortless ease

to the ground

to my feet

“Cold sheets

oh, where’s my love?

I am searching high

I’m searching low

in the night”

SYML, Where’s my Love?

All that

I thought I’d never have

was given, just

to be stolen back

All of us

all that was promised

is left on the battlefield

own home of carnage

Even you

withering away hollow

in a sky of blue

you’re a walking shadow

A broken heart’s

blood will rush

running through the dark

Where’s my love?

“If you bleed

I’ll bleed the same

If you’re scared

I’m on my way

Did you runaway?

I don’t need to know

If you ran away

come back home”

She walked out

into the night

and never returned

by my side

I stared

into that night

till I

went blind.

Hope you liked today’s poem. Thanks for stopping by and reading

Poem: Where’s my Love?

A promise

as solid

as the winter

wind

can get

swept up

just

like dust

You offered me

all of my dreams

like projections

on a blank screen

but when I went

to touch the scene

you let it fall

with effortless ease

to the ground

to my feet

“Cold sheets

oh, where’s my love?

I am searching high

I’m searching low

in the night”

SYML, Where’s my Love?

All that

I thought I’d never have

was given, just

to be stolen back

All of us

all that was promised

is left on the battlefield

own home of carnage

Even you

withering away hollow

in a sky of blue

you’re a walking shadow

A broken heart’s

blood will rush

running through the dark

Where’s my love?

“If you bleed

I’ll bleed the same

If you’re scared

I’m on my way

Did you runaway?

I don’t need to know

If you ran away

come back home”

She walked out

into the night

and never returned

by my side

I stared

into that night

till I

went blind.

Hope you liked today’s poem. Thanks for stopping by and reading

The Little Things

I’ve always believed that it’s the little things that make the big moments in life. In the last month and a half, that belief for me has only proved to be more true than ever.

Almost 2 months ago, I quit my job to focus on art (my dreams) full-time. I then came home to Knoxville, TN for a family reunion, and decided on not returning to TX. Since then, I’ve met a girl, met a whole new side to myself, and given my all to chasing my dreams and making them a reality. Oh, I also sold everything I have and took a huge step to essentially restarting my life. So… there’s that.

I think most of us take the little things for granted. I also think most of us know we do. For the majority of us, life is routine. Repetitive. When we do the same thing over and over and have such easy access to the same resources, everything becomes blended and quickly fades beneath the noise of work, school, kids… Then, when these small comforts go unnoticed, the quality of life does as well. We’re suddenly “miserable and have nothing,” when we in fact have a lot more than we know.

My friend has been letting me stay at his extra property while he prepares it for renovation. There’s no running water, furniture, internet, and the nearest store is about a half-hour away. I sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor (where a lot of roaches roam at night); I collect rain water in empty water jugs I cut in half; and to upload a video to YouTube, I have to drive 30 minutes out to Starbucks. Other nights, I sleep in my car in a Wal-Mart parking lot.

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I’ve sacrificed all my small comforts so that I may give my everything to my crafts.

“The dark must prevail to bring forth the light.”

-American Horror Story

It’s definitely been a struggle. Adapting has definitely been a pain in the ass process, but no struggle comes without reward. With eyes now open, I’ve been able to see what I couldn’t before. This journey I’ve jumped into has given me an appreciation for the little things that I didn’t have before stepping onto this path.

“You don’t know what you have till it’s gone.” A slightly corny and overused phrase that is also taken for granted. Like our own mortality, it’s something we hear but never listen to. And though the phrase’s words may ring hollow to so many ears, it’s meaning is the meat to this post. If there’s something you’re taking for granted, then deprive yourself of it. Though you can live without it, your hunger for the little things will show you just how much they contribute to your quality of life.

When the sound goes, you’re able to hear it so much more clearly.

Thanks for reading!