Monica Berg's Blog, page 26

Sagittarius: Wonder of Wonders!

It’s Sagittarius, and miracles abound!

During this month of Kislev (in Hebrew), a cosmic window opens for us to recognize and manifest miracles of all kinds. For many cultures, we’re entering a season of great joy and celebration. Hanukkah, which begins on the 25th of Kislev, commemorates the miracle of the few overcoming the many, and the Light overcoming the dark.

In fact, light that has been concealed through the rest of the year now flows freely into the celestial realm, adding mystery and excitement to this month of longer nights and shorter days. In Aramaic, Sagittarius translates to mean “rainbow.” And what is a rainbow but a refraction of light into myriad colors of the visible spectrum?

When we tap into Sagittarius energy, we can draw down the full spectrum of divine Light and, like prisms, redirect it to bring color and vibrancy to the places where it’s needed most.

The influx of that Sagittarian light can also help us reconnect with “unity consciousness.” When we see past the illusion of separateness and remember that we’re all part of the greater ONE, we become co-creators of our own destiny. We join forces with the source of all the miracles around us–which, in turn, empowers us to manifest more of those miracles in our own lives!

Yet will we know them when we see them? Personally, I am awed at the miracles in my own life. My children are miracles. My work at the Centre is a miracle. Each relationship I have is, in its own way, a miracle… because the likelihood that any of us would meet one another in a world of almost 8 billion people is so small, it’s almost impossible. Yet here we are!

The simple functions of our bodies are miracles, too. Did you know that we have over 600 muscles, hundreds of billions of nerves, and countless other systems working in concert just so we can walk across a room, pick up a phone or laptop, and read these words? And that’s not even considering the staggering number of neurological processes needed to translate the scribbles on a screen into meaning!

Even something small and unassuming, such as a pine cone, is a miracle. A single spiky cone holds around 150 seeds… each of which has the potential to become a giant tree that produces hundreds or thousands more pine cones! So, in theory, there are entire forests hiding inside an object often slathered with peanut butter (you know, those craftsy bird feeders) or sprinkled with glitter to mark the season.

See? Miracles! Everywhere. Every day. Rav Berg once mused how people tend to call out for a miracle when someone is sick or when things go wrong. “Yet,” he said, “the miracles we seek were here all along.”

What other miracles are you noticing today? And what miracles do you want most to manifest in your own life? Since Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, the planet of good fortune and abundance, we’re in good hands for making it all happen.

Be warned, though: the cosmic energy of this time can also put us in the line of fire (pun intended!) if we’re not careful. That’s because Sagittarius is a fire sign, easily influenced by the breeze of the moment. The Sag can rush in like a brushfire, burning through tasks or pursuits with little thought to the scorched-earth consequences of too much, too soon. They have a tendency to turn up the heat on themselves to the point of becoming overly stressed or anxious. And, while Sagittarians tend to thrive under pressure, they sometimes forget that there’s always a boiling point. So when you feel a kindling of excitement urging you to act this month, go for it! But pace yourself. Keep the fire on simmer… better that than getting burned!

After all, you don’t want to miss all the miracles of the moment. Notice them! Appreciate them! Experience them. And know that with every candle you light, every sunrise you admire, and every connection you forge, you are participating in the greatest wonder of all: the fact that you are here!

You are alive! And you are an integral part of every miracle you see… as well as the miracle you choose to be.

Happy Sagittarius!

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Is Everything Disposable? How to Connect With What Lasts

With the “season of giving” upon us, it’s all about shopping, shopping, and more shopping. There’s Black Friday. Cyber Monday. And look! So many shiny pretty things in most every window! And all those ads! Pop-ups, prop-ups, and all that glossy paper teasing things we MUST buy for someone we love. (Because what says “love” like STUFF, right?).

I mean, of course, we mean well. And who doesn’t enjoy a little “retail therapy” now and then? We want to give. We want to share. And, as Kabbalah encourages, selfless giving is one of the ultimate goals of a spiritual life: the wish to receive not for myself only, but in order to share with others. So in a sense, all this seems well and good.

Yet whether or not we choose to face it, every THING we get or give has a life span–which, these days, tends to be rather brief. In his poem “First Place, Last Place,” Hans Ostrom reflects upon a trophy–awarded for one feat or another–whose silver arms would be outreached “for as long as its soft, shiny, metal will last.” Later, after musing at the trophy’s lack of purpose once its receiver has passed, he notes how, “at garbage dumps, they break apart gracefully. ” But that’s not always the case. In fact, in a single Halloween weekend, a UK study estimated that 2,079 tons of waste entered landfills–mostly plastic pumpkins and single-use costumes. And that’s just in one country. On one holiday.

The “disposable mentality” extends beyond our material lives as well. Seeking a partner? If you don’t like their photo, you can literally swipe them away. Has someone offended you on social media? Unfriend or unfollow them. So clean. So easy! And it avoids all the bother of face-to-face awkwardness.

We live in so much wealth and excess, it’s easy to ignore the end game and to forget to value what we do have. However, when we face times of lack or need, that appreciation is quick to return. In his book Long Way Home, Holocaust survivor Samuel Shinder recalled how he once traded a precious watch–a beloved gift from his father–for a meager morsel of bread to share with his sister. When survival was at stake, the watch no longer mattered. What did matter was life.

How, then, in a world of discarding and disregarding, can we learn to regain balance and remember what truly matters? How can we connect with, and pass along, the more lasting treasures in life?

We can start by valuing experiences over things. Research has shown that what we do brings us more happiness than what we have. According to psychologist Matthew Killingsworth, “Nothing material is intrinsically valuable, except in whatever promise of happiness it carries.” That’s because memories, unlike things, don’t end up in landfills–unless we metaphorically put them there! Plus, experiences are malleable. They bend and shift with the light of the day. They help us bond with others. Through them, we discover more about the world and ourselves. Even our phones and computers, which play such integral roles in our lives–can never be of us. They, like the soiled pizza cartons on the top of the trash heap, will also become obsolete.

There’s a Native American philosophy known as the “Seven Generation Principle.” It holds that the decisions we make today should result in a sustainable world for seven generations to come. Similarly, the Zohar tells how, in manifesting us (and everything else), the Creator is able to “perceive the end in the beginning.” So, as the next weeks unfold with all the sparkles to delight and blind us, let’s be more mindful of what we buy, of where it may end up, and of how it may (or may not) enrich another’s life.

As for the quest for those more enduring gifts we can bring to ourselves and others, I’ll share some sage advice from one of my great teachers, Karen Berg. She taught that nothing lasts longer–or brings more meaning–than does sharing. “Share of yourself in a way that permanently improves the quality of life in this world,” she said. This practice “transforms your essence into that of the Creator… creating a circuit through which all the gifts you have been given flow in a continuous cycle.”

It’s like recycling at a spiritual level: no waste, and all gain! Because, at least on this earthly plane, the closest thing to an everlasting gift is the light we shine into the here and now.

We shine it when we value what we have… when we choose to waste less and share more… when we create experiences that enrich our own and others’ lives. And that is how we help to light the way ahead, beyond and despite the rubble.

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How to Be an Imperfectionist

Plato once wrote that in order for any of us to achieve perfection, we’d first have to transcend the imperfection of reality. Yet here we are, believing that perfection isn’t just possible; it’s mandatory! And who can blame us?

The word “perfect” gets thrown around so casually, as in, Isn’t she/he/it just perfect?… I’m going to find the perfect job/house/partner… or It won’t be done until it’s perfect. And the image of so-called perfection is like a dangling golden carrot at every click or scroll. We long to emulate those silky-skinned celebrities, even if it means airbrushing our own snaps to meet the fantasy. Those well-curated Instagram smiles tease us into thinking that everyone else is living in some elusive eternal bliss. Then again, who’s going to post a close-up of their heat rash or an action shot of their child mid-tantrum? I mean, let’s get real… not!

And then we hear that so-and-so got a “perfect” score on this or that measure of excellence. How can we (or our kids) live up to that? Yet that score is merely a symbol of a far less shiny path–one that likely involved hard work with a dash (or a heap) of stress… and no doubt a few (or a lot of) mistakes. It’s a wonderful achievement, but perfection? Not exactly.

Just as Kabbalah teaches that we live in the 1% realm–only perceiving a pin-dot glimpse of what actually exists–we need to rethink our view of perfection… and realize that a) it doesn’t exist and b) even if it did, it would be nowhere near as desirable (or natural!) as imperfection!

For some, the endless pursuit of perfect can lead to what psychologists call “the perfection fallacy.” The perfection fallacy poisons us with the belief that whatever perfection we seek is out there, somewhere… I just have to find/achieve/hold out for it. The problem is, we end up motionless; we’re essentially waiting for a train that will never arrive! If it’s not perfect, we tell ourselves, I’m not going to do/accept/pursue it. Or worse, we think, If I can’t do it well (i.e., perfectly), then I won’t do it at all! But that holding pattern stunts us. When we’re waiting for perfect to arrive, we’ve set up impossible expectations for ourselves and others.

On the other hand, our imperfections–and all the chaos that can come with them–encourage us to move: to change, to correct, to evolve. Our goals (which are perfectly healthy to set) are no longer “final” destinations. Instead, we see them as milestones along the journey of our evolution. Even a public acknowledgment of great achievement, such as a gold medal at the Olympics or a Nobel Prize, still leaves room for growth. There’s always another race to run, another book to write, another level of spiritual awareness to reach! That is the definition of becoming–and it’s far more exciting than any arrival can possibly be.

Even nature relies on imperfection–not perfection–as a driving force for positive transformation. As theoretical physicist Lee Smolin remarked, “Life on earth is a catalog of accidents, alternatives, and errors that turned out to work quite well.” Telmo Pievani affirmed this idea in Imperfection: A Natural History when he explains the purposeful imperfection of human DNA. “[DNA] duplication has always been imperfect: slight changes, deviations, re-combinations,” he writes. It’s because of these “errors” that everything on this planet has been able to adapt and evolve.

Ultimately, letting go of perfection is liberating! It creates endless possibilities. And, despite our society’s insistence otherwise, imperfection has inherent beauty… maybe because we recognize its authenticity. We see ourselves and our humanness in it. Artists like Salvador Dali created masterpieces through studies in asymmetry. Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa has wowed the world with her measurably asymmetrical, imperfect smile. And some of the most revered musicians’ voices are beloved for their vocal “quirks” (think Bruce Springsteen’s signature rasp or Billie Holiday’s sliding vibrato).

So this week, let’s embrace our imperfections as natural, and even wonderful!

That perfect body? Forget about it. Instead, seek your own best health, stamina, and strength. The perfect job? It doesn’t exist–at least not 100% of the time. But if you can find one that aligns with your values, skills, and passions, you’ll feel a sense of purpose every day. And as for the “perfect” relationship… that sounds pretty dull to me! Our differences, and yes, even our occasional conflicts, can bring us closer and teach us more about each other and ourselves. So if you’ve been holding out for “happily ever after,” you’ll have to rely on Disney, not real life!

Musician Leonard Cohen sang that “there’s a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in.” The key is to recognize the value in those cracks enough to invite in the Light! To welcome movement and growth. To take chances and make mistakes.

Most of all, we can start by accepting ourselves as we are right here, right now. We are not perfect; we’re better than that! We are all works in progress–beautiful and whole… messes, asymmetries and all.

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Are We All a Little Addicted?

Wake up. Check phone. Read (yet another) sad/disturbing/off-putting news story. And then expect to have a great day… NOT!

I’ve written a lot about the importance of starting our day on the “right foot,” as they say. What we do in the morning sets us up mentally, physically, and spiritually for the rest of the day. So if we start on our screens, we’re even more likely to continue on them, sometimes to the exclusion of everything and everyone else around us. We can find ourselves obsessing over what’s happening “out there” on social media or the latest gossip story… and when we do look up, we’re all too often seeking gratification in other forms of excess as well.

We can snap our fingers and get pretty much anything (think Amazon: order today, get it today!). We have endless food and drink choices (What will it be? Your usual vanilla latte? Or would you prefer our new Pumpkin-Spice-Candy-Apple Americano?). And, no matter what we have, we always seem to want more.

The fact is, we’re all a little (or a lot) addicted. But why?

The answer may be nuanced, but it is at least in part related to dopamine. Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that makes us feel good. And each time we feel rewarded–with new information, entertainment, or positive reinforcements of any kind, our brains release more. Whether it’s a quick email or Insta check (they’re responding! they like me!), a funny YouTube video, or another heady drip, we’re seeking it. Craving it. And when we want it, we want it NOW. But there’s a darker side to dopamine when we come to rely on it constantly.

Dr. Anna Lembke, author of Dopamine Nation, notes that “one of the most important [recent] discoveries in neuroscience….is that pleasure and pain are co-located.” In other words, the two constantly strive to maintain a center point, or equilibrium (technically known as homeostasis). So, when we’re tipped too far in one direction, our brains try to compensate by sending us to the equal but opposite state or emotion.

Think of how this plays out as humans increasingly expect a constant stream of instant pleasure. (Another case in point: there are currently over 17,000 titles on Netflix alone. It’s a dopamine dispenser that never runs dry!) And if balance is our brain’s goal amidst all this pleasure, it’s no wonder that depression and anxiety have reached the highest levels in history–up around 25% among young people since 2016. And the plot thickens when we consider how elusive that balance can be.

Because as addictions play out, the more we feed them, the more we become dependent on the latest increase just to feel normal. We began to rely on those “likes” or funny videos or emails or shopping clicks just to make us feel okay at every turn: as we wait in line at the grocery store, sit on a subway, or even stop at a traffic light.

So how do we look away? How do we reset our sense of balance and give the spotlight back to the present moment… to that sense of well-being and connection that doesn’t rely on the next “fix”? One of Dr. Lembke’s therapies is what she calls a “dopamine fast,” which, for her patients, means no screens for a month! This practice has led to less anxiety and depression among participants. While such a departure may feel too daunting for some of us, we can all gain from rethinking our relationship with technology and that instant gratification mindset.

Writer Stephen Altrogge encourages us to examine our default behaviors. Even small shifts in our personal “status quo” can make a difference. According to Altrogge, 84% of people keep their email inboxes open all day. In other words, many of us live in a state of perpetual availability to anyone on our contact list. Instead, he suggests that we set times when we are simply unavailable. He recommends relegating our screen time to short bursts: check email and social, respond to timely texts, and then put… down… the… phone (or computer). Schedule face-to-face time with someone, take a walk, and immerse yourself in your surroundings. The more we practice resetting our less productive default behaviors, the more we’ll regain that equilibrium.

Remember the biblical story about the battle between King David and the giant Goliath? The Zohar says that what empowered David to win wasn’t his physical might but rather his courage in facing and conquering the darkness within himself. We can all overcome our addictions, big or small. Of course, I am not overlooking the serious and harmful addictions people have that require medical attention and always encourage professional help when needed.

Remember, we are each like a slab of clay. We have the power to sculpt ourselves in any way we choose. We can decide to connect more and to be more present. We can choose to reveal more of our light, or to hide in someone else’s. And we can watch everyone else’s movies… or look up, look around, and take a starring role in our own!

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Scorpio: Glowing from Within

Did you know that scorpions glow in UV light? If you were to venture out to scan the nighttime desert with a UV flashlight, you’d find these nocturnal creatures emitting a mesmerizing blue-green glow against the shadowed sands. During this month of Scorpio (represented by the scorpion), we, too, can use this time of waning sunlight to access our inner glow. We can stop to remember that the light is always within us… and that it’s up to us to turn up that dimmer switch so that we can share more of our best selves with the world!

Called Mar Cheshvan (meaning “bitter Cheshvan”) in Hebrew, this month brings a rare respite from holidays or celebrations. Its name evokes an absence of sweetness and a hint of gloom with the approaching darkness of winter. Well, I say, forget the doom. Forget the gloom! Because hiding within the shadows of these seeming negatives are great opportunities for inner growth. We can turn the bitter (Mar) around to read as Ram, or exultation. We can use this quieter time to absorb last month’s flurry of contemplations and celebrations to reap their benefits in the year ahead.

Another interesting note about scorpions–which, by the way, happen to be fascinating creatures: a study led by biologist Dr. Douglas Gaffin revealed that their fluorescence is a result of their ability to be “whole body photon collector[s].” This remarkable trait has helped them survive and thrive since long before the dinosaurs! During this month of Scorpio, we, too, can practice some spiritual light-gathering of our own. How? We can start by consciously bringing more awareness to all that’s good in our lives. As Kabbalah teaches, wherever we place our consciousness automatically increases in power.

Today, ask yourself where the light is in your own life. Often, that light has been generated from challenges or times of darkness. In fact, it is often through these moments that we find ourselves emerging with increased powers, new reasons to be grateful, and yes–more light to sustain us and to share with the world!

A few weeks ago, our daughter Abigail became a first-time author with the release of our co-written book, The Gift of Being Different. In it, she shared how, because of and through her challenges with dyslexia, she discovered other, even greater, gifts. This is so often the case! I know that every one of my personal challenges has also held hidden blessings. There were many times when I, too, was led to believe I wasn’t good enough. Or pretty enough. Or smart enough. But such times force us to look inward and to find strength there rather than from any external place. This is a month for dusting off that inner light and, like those luminous creatures in nature, daring to pierce through that gloom to bring more awe and wonder to our own lives.

The sign of Scorpio is also a highly emotional sign, connected in Kabbalah to both water and fire (and we’ve all been warned about the dangers of that scorpion sting!). Watch out for sudden surges of anger or emotionality, sometimes over the smallest of things. I remember once witnessing a heated argument between two women over how long a piece of bread should be toasted to reach the ideal level of “toastiness.” There were angry words. Tense tones. And eventually–believe it or not–tears.

Looking back, I’m sure there must have been more to that exchange than met the eye (or the toaster). But that’s the sort of thing to watch out for this month–what I now call “toast moments.” During this volatile cosmic window, remember to take a breath before reacting. Then, instead of battling, we can pour some tea and serve up the butter and jam–with toast of any shade!

Let’s turn the bitterness of mar into the triumph of ram this month by keeping the focus on increasing our inner light in every way possible. Let’s be more grateful, calm, and kind to ourselves and others. Let’s look for the silver lining in life’s tough moments. And above all, let’s make an effort to reconnect with those people, activities, and thoughts that bring a spark of positivity and excitement to our days.

Because ultimately, if it lights you up inside, it will light you up on the outside, too. And, despite the earlier dusk and the lull of the moment, the more we turn up our inner glow, the more it will shine wherever we go!

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The Great Balancing Act

Have you checked your balance lately?

No, not your bank balance. I’m talking about your YOU balance, as in, Are you feeling solid and steady? Are you like the tree, bending with the winds of life’s daily demands, or are you feeling less rooted and more prone to teetering?

Balance is something we tend to take for granted. And when we’re in the overwhelm of things, it may even seem elusive (especially on some days–believe me, I know!). But in truth, we rely on balance in almost every area of our lives. Nature has its own equalized systems. Without them, plants wouldn’t grow, clouds wouldn’t form, and entire ecosystems would collapse. The economy, too, relies on checks and balances, and we all know what happens when things are off kilter. Even our bodies, when at optimal health, remain innately in balance through what’s called homeostasis. Consider your body temperature. To maintain that ideal 98.6-degree sweet spot, countless systems are on constant alert to help us adjust to heat, cold, exertion, illness, hormone fluctuations, and so forth. Pretty miraculous, don’t you think?

Why, then, do we have such a difficult time balancing the rest of our lives? And how can we harness that inner life-regulator to keep our thoughts, actions, and intentions in harmony?

First, we can check our alignment. If one car tire is mounted with a slightly different turn, the entire vehicle will wobble. And if you try to drive, you may end up off the road entirely. Likewise, any goal we set requires an alignment between our intentions and our actions in order to reach it. In his book Taming Chaos, Rav Berg explained that anything we desire to create can only come into manifestation when balance is maintained. Maybe you hope to be a star in your career. Have you thought about why you want this? Is it for recognition, money, or power? Or is your goal aligned with a deeper desire, one that fulfills you and/or advances your spiritual growth? Never underestimate the power of intention to help balance and direct your actions.

Professional life coach and author Marsha Prospere suggests breaking down larger goals into what she calls “mini-goals.” For example, if Henry wants to run a marathon and starts by running 10 miles his first time out, he may end up with injuries that veer him entirely away from his end goal. On the other hand, if he creates mini-goals with increasingly longer runs, along with strength/stretch training and nutritional goals, he will likely achieve balance along his path towards success. Prospere also notes that “your goals should balance–rather than undermine–each other.” So if you’re hoping to get more sleep and also to crank up your morning workout routine, you may need to set mini-goals for each that compromise, rather than conflict. Maybe you strategize an earlier bedtime routine or add a lunchtime workout class and still sleep in a little.

Now it’s your turn:

What are your current goals? Write down one or two, and then break them into smaller mini-goals. Consider the WHYs behind your desire to reach each one, and make sure that each step aligns with your greater sense of purpose AND that it helps promote balance and harmony in the bigger picture of your life!

And, when you feel yourself falling into something too far, know that you can always right yourself. Every inhale becomes balanced with an exhale. Are there places where more balance is needed in your life right now? For instance, are you giving too much to those around you without taking time for yourself? Are you focusing more on material gain (which brings only short-term happiness) and not enough on your spiritual or inner growth?

I know that I tend to feel myself teetering when I’m doing too much without stopping to recharge. With this week’s release of my book, The Gift of Being Different (co-written with my daughter Abigail), I realize I will need to take my own advice and slow down after all this wonder and excitement! That said, I’ve felt deeply happy and energized by the opportunity to help give a voice to children with learning differences. That’s because when we are living our purpose, we are charged with more energy from the Universe, or the Creator. And the more our desire includes the wish to share our light with others, the stronger that boost becomes!

Today, let’s embrace this month of Libra, a sign represented by the scales. It is our natural state to keep the scales as equal as possible, both within ourselves and with the world. We can reclaim our balance and carry this Libra energy into the next month and beyond.

As the Rav wrote, “Without the symmetry of balance, there can be no beauty.” It is balance that keeps us alive, and balance that will help us thrive.

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Presenting The Gift of Being Different

It’s HERE!

This week marks the launch of our long-awaited book, The Gift of Being Different! Abigail and I are so excited for her writing debut (because this is a proud mama moment for sure!). Yet there’s so much more to it all than meets the page. Allow me to explain.

What’s most on my mind during this special time is one of the core Kabbalistic truths: and that is that our thoughts are profoundly powerful. What we believe about ourselves, where we place our attentions and intentions–that’s where our life will lead us. In other words, the launching of this book is both a beginning AND the culmination of years of struggles and victories. The book may look new to the eye, but the thought-seed for it was planted many years ago: long before Abigail was diagnosed with dyslexia, and long before she came to realize that she wanted to use her voice to help others who were struggling with learning differences.

For her, decoding words seemed impossibly daunting from the start. There were days when, in second grade, Abigail was so deeply frustrated and confused, we were sure she’d give up entirely. It didn’t help that most of her classmates seemed to grasp reading with comparative ease. At the same time, she was unusually observant and wise from the time she could speak. Believe me, Abigail always had a voice and wasn’t afraid to use it! Her wit was sharp, and her ability to synthesize difficult ideas and express them astutely often left us speechless (which is saying a lot for me, right?). But when one day, she used that voice to ask me, “Mommy, am I stupid?” I knew that all the private tutoring wasn’t cutting it. We needed answers.

Sure enough, testing revealed her dyslexia. And, after that, so many things became clear: not only the struggles, but the gifts that had been there all along. (Granted, every child has special gifts, and–note to all the parents out there–it’s up to us to notice and help cultivate them!)

Through our subsequent studies of dyslexia and other learning differences, we learned that many children who face learning challenges are gifted with equal doses of exceptionalism. Psychology Today linked dyslexia with inventiveness, creativity, big-picture thinking, and enhanced spatial abilities. And a recent study at Cambridge, led by Dr. Helen Taylor, concluded that those with dyslexia tend to have what they call an “explorative bias,” which creates a strong adaptability to changing environments. So if you’re planning a wilderness survival adventure, you may want to invite someone along who has dyslexia!

Likewise, other learning differences (unjustly referenced as “disabilities” in the past) have been linked to correlating strengths as well. Former football star Terry Bradshaw spoke out about the role his ADHD played in his social and athletic success. He claimed to have harnessed his energy towards sports and humor and became highly skilled at both! And we’ve all heard about Steven Spielberg, Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, and many others who have excelled in part because of their learning differences.

As it turns out, being different is more common than one might imagine. According to understood.org‘s most recent data, around 20% of the population has some type of learning difference or challenge. Many never realize it or receive diagnoses. They may fall behind in classes, suffer social or academic anxiety, or face depression just because they’re not understood–and often, least of all by themselves or their families. That’s why it’s so important that we speak out, reach out, and create avenues for increasing awareness and removing the stigma around those who think differently!

Our intention in creating this book was for other children who face learning challenges to find courage and to know they’re not alone. To realize that, sometimes, it is our seeming weaknesses that hold our greatest strengths! As Abigail’s grandfather, Rav Berg, taught, the light is never created by the bulb. The bulb is simply an instrument for revealing the greater Light that was always there! The same is true of our differences. What we perceive as the obstacle isn’t the stone in our way; rather, the obstacle often IS the way! We simply need to rethink how we view our challenges and seek the blessings they hold for us–because they always do!

The launch of this project is much more than the manifestation of a physical object (though the book itself is a wonderful thing, too!). Yet beyond its cover and beautiful pages, The Gift of Being Different represents the fruition of a child’s brave quest to use her voice for good… to share her struggles and her victories so that others might feel their own power rising.

Finally, whether you choose to purchase a copy or to simply share the light of this moment with us, know that anything is possible if you believe it to be so.

Thank you for joining us on this special journey!

The Gift of Being Different is now available for pre-order!

I have a special incentive offer just for you!

Pre-order 5 copies of The Gift of Being Different

& receive a signed bookplate + a Spiritually Hungry hat!*

To redeem this offer:

1. Preorder on Amazon

2. Then follow this link: https://rethinklife.today/preorder5/

3. Input your purchase number when prompted

And if you are going to be in the New York Area on October 25th please join me for the book launch with a live recording of the Spiritually Hungry podcast! Register here!

 

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What is a True Teacher? Remembering Rav Berg

What is a teacher, in the truest sense? Is it someone who dispenses information and wisdom? Is it one who instructs and guides, who poses questions and provides assignments to help us steer our knowledge? Or is it all of these, but something far more—something that goes beyond the dispensation or instruction… something ineffable that we take in not from assignments, but rather from being in the presence of our teacher?

For me, no one embodied a true teacher more than my teacher and father-in-law, the Rav Berg. October 7, or the 12th of Libra, marks 11 years since he left this physical world–what we call his “Day of Elevation.”

As the Rav often said, no true teaching can happen without a certain resistance. He used the example of electricity to illustrate this idea: One can pass energy through a lightbulb, but there will be no light without the resistance created in the bulb’s coil. The Rav and Karen met with such resistance when, 40 years ago, they committed to bringing the ancient and heavily-guarded secrets of Kabbalah out into the world. But it was through this resistance that the light was able to shine into the corners of thousands, if not millions, of ordinary lives. That light was shared for the purpose of love. For community. For helping others find themselves. For spreading not just wisdom, but empowerment, understanding, connection, and love. The Rav wasn’t a teacher just for what he brought. He was a teacher for who he was.

I felt that love and connection directly. He didn’t teach it; he lived it. I first met the Rav and Karen when I was only 17. At the time, they seemed like spiritual giants–unreachable to me from that place of inexperience. I may have had spiritual inclinations, but I hadn’t developed them yet. Yet life led me to learn from these incredible teachers and later to know them as family.

And even now, I’m only beginning to understand the full impact the Rav had on my life. The light and the essence of the Rav are woven into the fabric of my work and our family. For example, the words he shared with me during a time of my own inner chaos–“Monica! Fear is not an option!”–became the title of my first book. The Rav influenced the naming of our first son, David, for the name’s biblical implications. And I’ll never forget when, after our son Josh was born and had been diagnosed with Down Syndrome, the Rav sat with me in loving silence for what felt like an hour. When he finally spoke, his words were so powerful, so pure, I can still hear them echoing across the years: “Monica, this didn’t just happen to you. It happened to me as well,” he said.

What he meant was that he was in it with us. In fact, he was always in it with us. He shared our pain, our fear, and our joy. Through that sharing, we knew that all would be well. We knew that there was a perfection at work in this and in all of the Creator’s plans. And sure enough, that perfection was–and continues to be–revealed not just in our family, but in the whole of our lives.

What the Rav gave to me and to others was a blueprint for our lives. He illustrated that a true teacher goes beyond the study of any material. A true teacher helps us understand ourselves. A true teacher sees us, makes us feel that we matter, and inspires us to emulate what they’ve done with their lives. This teacher helps us understand why we came to this world. That was the gift that the Rav was able to bring to so many.

My husband Michael tells the story of when he was young and his family lived in a tiny apartment in Queens. The Rav would get up to teach a class on Mondays and Thursdays at 6:30 in the morning. Although 15 or 20 students would show up, most of them would fall asleep within the first half hour of class. So Michael asked him why he still taught the class, to which he replied, “I’m not teaching this wisdom for the people in this room; I’m sharing the wisdom because the world needs this light!”

And that’s how the Rav lived. In everything he said and did–even those moments of tough love–he strove to bring the light into the world. I’m sure that the reason he and Karen were so successful in their quest to bring the light of Kabbalah into the world was because they did it not for themselves, but to share with others. They gave us a space in which to fight the chaos in the world with consciousness.

What did the Rav teach me? I’d say that, above all, he taught me the power of empathy. It takes strength, courage, and appreciation to cultivate true empathy. It takes a surrendering of the ego and an ability to step into the best of ourselves to truly feel for–and be kind towards–another. He also taught me that any of us can actualize our potential at any time. He didn’t even begin his studies of Kabbalah until the age of 40 when he met his beloved teacher. For him, that meant moving from his life as a businessman (which was more thinking-based) towards a new life as a student of spirituality. That was the heart realm, and it was from that place where he met his soulmate, my mother-in-law, and the rest was history.

Writer and historian Henry Adams once wrote, “A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.” My personal hope is that my own work, and the work of the Centre, will be a true continuation of the blueprint the Rav and Karen have left us.

On the Day of Elevation, it is said that the light of a departed soul is most easily accessible to any of us. As we light our candle to draw closer to the Rav’s light, may we choose consciousness over chaos and empathy over indifference. May we grow to understand that it is not just what we bring to the world that matters, it’s who we are.

Most of all, may we each continue to grow our own light and to share it with others. Because that’s the truest legacy of a great teacher, and that’s what the Rav wanted to leave in this world more than anything: all the light he could gather… and all the love, too.

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Four Powerful Commitments to Make on Yom Kippur

Each holiday is a powerful and important cosmic window offering specific energies. Yom Kippur begins next Tuesday at sundown, and we can connect to that energy and harness it in our lives. On Yom Kippur, we want to direct our consciousness to that of overwhelming joy, gratitude, and positivity.

Here are four powerful commitments you can make during this window in time:

1) Commit to kindness.

We are the ones who decide what the year will bring for us. Perhaps through our combined efforts to care and be there for each other more, we can tip the scale towards greater positivity in the coming year, both for ourselves and for the world. Being kind, no matter what, is an excellent place to begin! If you feel your kindness slipping into judgment, choose empathy.

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” -Brad Meltzer

Anytime you meet someone, you have a choice. You can either stubbornly insist on seeing the person in relation to your own desires, wants, and needs (where you may perceive him as an obstacle or a pain in the neck). Or you can regard each person as a being just like you–one who longs for happiness and yearns to be free from pain. You have the choice to either embrace others or to cut them off by paying attention to only those aspects of behavior that may affect you at any given moment. Instead, practice consideration for what may be going on in others’ lives.

2) Connect to and honor your divine spark.

Yom Kippur means “Day of Atonement” or “at-one-ment.” On this day, we disconnect from our physical needs in order to elevate our consciousness. That is why many abstain from eating, drinking, bathing, and wearing perfume. It is a time to recharge our batteries for the 12 months to come. Think of Yom Kippur as a time when any of us can sit down next to the Creator and experience the wholeness of that connection.

Yom Kippur is an opportunity to feel at one with yourself and the world. Honor the light of the Creator that exists within you and everyone. You can call it the divine spark. Start by loving and accepting yourself fully and unconditionally, just as you are today. This is a time to acknowledge how much power you have, not just over yourself but over the world around you. Too often, we underestimate how powerful we are and how much potential we have. We spend entirely too much of our focus berating ourselves for our faults and errors. We forget that we are capable of greatness. In fact, we are all capable of greatness!

3) Identify the thoughts and behaviors that put a separation between you and the Creator.

Yom Kippur brings joy to the Creator, and in turn, the Creator gives that joy back to all of us. The Creator craves closeness with us, just as we crave closeness. This is an excellent time for introspection. Identify and choose to leave behind what separates you from the Creator. For some, it’s anger. For others, it may be jealousy, greed, overeating, overspending, or over-drinking.

The desire to receive for the self alone separates us from the Creator. What connects us is the desire to receive for the sake of sharing.

Even if you don’t observe Yom Kippur in the traditional sense, you can benefit from the consciousness of atonement. One way to nullify the desire to receive the self alone is to sit quietly for a moment and isolate the specific desire that may have caused any sorrow or suffering we have inflicted on others. This is a time to take responsibility for our thoughts and actions, and we can decide to prevent their recurrence by destroying and canceling any selfish desires that caused them.

We do this not just to “fix” ourselves but to fix a piece of the entire universe.

4) Recommit to The Golden Rule.

Yom Kippur (translates as “a day like Purim”) contains a connection to Purim consciousness: the consciousness of “love your neighbor as yourself.”

This relates to the traditional greeting exchanged on Yom Kippur when we wish each other Gamar Chatima Tova, or “blessings for your year.” The message goes beyond being merely a tradition, greeting, or social nicety. It’s significant because the more people we genuinely wish well upon, the more blessings will come to us. And the more people wish us well, the more blessings they will receive. While it’s important to do our own work, it’s just as important that we assist and support others in theirs. And that’s how we start our year—helping each other!

We, alone, are responsible for the energy we put into the world. The foundation of all matter is not only energy, but thought consciousness. We can change the world just by changing how we think—not just on Yom Kippur, but on every day of the year.

Rethink moment: Imagine if every day was a little more like Yom Kippur. How would your life change if you were kind every day, no matter what? If you were at one with yourself, fully aware of your power and your potential? If you made your relationship with the Creator a top priority, and if you genuinely wished as many people as you could to find blessings, health, and happiness?

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Rosh Hashanah: The Power of Naming Our Desire

What’s in a name? Apparently, a lot more than we might imagine.

The biblical story of Genesis conveys how the first people “gave names to all cattle and to the fowl of the air” (2:20). Yet the Kabbalistic Zohar takes this story a step further. It teaches that, through their naming, the creatures became animated for the first time! In other words, once we name something–anything we desire–we give it life. We set into motion the creation of our desires simply by knowing and naming what we truly want.

And, at this time in the cosmic calendar, the potential we have to create (and re-create) our own lives is at its peak. Rosh Hashanah–or “the head of the new year”–falls on the first day in the month of Tishrei (Libra). On this day and throughout the month, we are naturally aligned with the powerful energies of renewal and manifestation.

The past month of Virgo encouraged us to practice Teshuvah, which translates to returning. Whether or not you participated in my 30 Days of Virgo Life Audit, this is the time of year to sit down and take a close look at where you’ve been… what has or has not been working in your life. Only by understanding our past mistakes (or wrong turns) can we perform the necessary “tune-ups” and accurately identify–and name–where we’d most like to go and grow!

Research has backed the power of naming in creating meaningful and lasting connections between ourselves and the things we name. Psychologist Dr. Suzanne Degges-White has written extensively about the “great power of naming things.” The act of naming is more than assigning an identification (though it does that, too). The act itself creates a sort of psychological ownership—the feeling that something belongs to us more intimately. This explains why couples often create pet names for one another; it’s also why those who raise animals for food rarely name their chickens or cows. When we don’t name something, we can keep it at a distance and feel less responsible for fostering any real connection to it.

Yet naming our desires isn’t enough to bring them to fruition. We have to take an active role in becoming co-creators of our destiny. Rav Berg wrote that “achieving true change requires willpower, purpose, and perseverance.” He compared the process of creation to the establishment of a business. Using the example of a shoe factory, he set up a scenario where the production line is ready, all the machines are in working order, and all the raw materials are in place. Despite all this preparation, though, the factory will not produce anything by itself. The potential that’s so clearly present will not be realized without action. It’s a dance between the creator (in this case, the shoe designer) and the steps towards creation. How and in what order will the materials be cut? Which machine will create each part of the shoe, and how will the pieces be brought together?

A similar dance plays out for our personal goals, too. When our deepest desires are aligned both with our purpose and with the intention of sharing our light with the world, the Light of the Creator will help us find the best ways to make it happen.

This is no time for complacency! At Rosh Hashanah, the shofar (traditionally a ram’s horn) is blown, its piercing resonance reminding us to wake up. It tells us that every intention–including the one that fabricated those perfect shoes–requires our action and some measure of planning if it is to manifest. Luckily for us, the equanimity of Libra (symbolized by the balanced scales) can help us weigh our options carefully and avoid the pitfalls of acting too rashly. Yet if we remain steadfast at our center of gravity, we can set our course and then move forward with certainty and confidence.

There’s an old proverb that states, “If you don’t know where you are going, you are never going to get there.” I’d like to add that in order to know where you’re going, you’d best know where you’ve been. As we move into a new year rife with possibilities, I encourage you to leave behind that which no longer serves you. At the same time, remind yourself of what has worked for you. Reacquaint yourself with the activities, people, places, and situations that excite you the most. Consult your heart and remember what brings you closer to yourself and your inner joy. Most of all, get in touch with your purpose, and then name it… and while you’re at it, name your desire, too!

It is through that naming, through that knowing and wanting, that your new life will be born. Happy New Year!

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