Page Turner's Blog, page 87

Losing a Friend Can Lead to Greater Heartache Than Some Romantic Breakups

The trouble with falling out with a friend is you never expect it.

Or at least I never have.

With romantic breakups, there have often been warning signs — subtle and less than subtle — foretelling the demise of a relationship. Symptoms that something was in trouble. That one or both of us was unhappy.  » Read more

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What Is the Opposite of Entitlement? What Is Echoism?

“What’s the opposite of entitlement?” I asked my friends several years back. I put it out as an open question.

I wanted a word to explain how I often felt, like I didn’t deserve good things whenever they happened to me, even when I’d worked hard, earned them, sacrificed. I’d later go on to learn about impostor syndrome,  » Read more

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Being Kind to Others Makes People Happier than Treating Themselves

Happiness stems from within, we’re told. If you want to be happy, start with you. Be good to yourself first. Focus on self-care. Give yourself a little treat.

This is the kind of advice that sounds good and is easy to follow. And while it’s important not to skimp on self-care and let yourself run too far on empty a question naturally follows: Does taking care of yourself lead to happiness?  » Read more

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I Knew I Was in Trouble the First Time You Held Me

I knew I was in trouble the first time you held me. I felt like I was four years old again then and that my father was carrying me up the stairs because I’d fallen asleep on the couch.

You felt solid in a way that nothing had. Not for years.

I knew then that nothing would feel the same after you.  » Read more

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When Public Displays of Affection on Social Media Are Hiding Unhappiness

I’ve always been someone who posts positive things about partners on social media. Always.

I post positive things when things are going well. I post positive things when they’re not.

It’s a funny thing because when you’re a relationship writer, people expect you to let it all hang out. For you to have no boundaries about what you say.  » Read more

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Money Can’t Buy You Love, But It Can Break You Up

Money has nothing to do with true love. At least that’s what I was raised to believe, that if you really loved someone it wouldn’t matter how much (or how little) money they had.

Nothing would matter but your love for one another.

You fell in love with the person, not the pocketbook.  » Read more

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You Don’t Know How You’re Going to Feel. And That’s Okay.

As much as I strive to live in the moment, I’ve always been someone who rehearses things.

When I’m about to have an important conversation, I will often find myself imagining how it’s going to go. Sometimes this involves actually playing out the hypothetical talk. Acting out both sides clumsily like a person playing a board game against themselves.  » Read more

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What Is Functional Monogamy?

Hi Page,

I’ve seen you use the term “functional monogamy” several times in your writing now. I think I know what it means, but I’m not sure. Care to explain? What is functional monogamy?

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Basically, functional monogamy is a term that describes the behavior of a person having one romantic and/or sexual partner at a time.  » Read more

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Self-Signaling, or Why “Fake It ‘Til You Make It” Is Actually Good Advice

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.

-Kurt Vonnegut

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Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling,  » Read more

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Dishonesty Can Actually Damage Your Ability to Read People

It’s well known that dishonesty can be damaging to interpersonal relationships. When we find out someone has lied to us, it can be very difficult to trust them again.

But how about the other side of things? When someone has lied to us, even if no one discovers that they have lied, does the act carry consequences for them as well?  » Read more

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