Page Turner's Blog, page 33

What Makes Me Feel Like the Poster Child for Words of Affirmation

It’s probably telling what I do on the days when I can’t think of anything else to write.

Yes, I have days like that, especially since this blog is daily, and real life for me at the moment is very uneventful. I had been kind of a homebody before the pandemic hit, having just relocated cross-country for work reasons and only just started to get out and meet new friends in the area.  » Read more

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This Love Is Better Than What I Thought Could Exist.

There are days even now when I wake up in the morning and see you lying next to me. And even though it’s been years that we’ve been together, I feel that burst of joy that I did the first time I spent the night.

It doesn’t happen every day, mind you. But it happens on some mornings when it’s just barely light out.  » Read more

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We’re Often of Two Minds — It’s Just Not Always Blatant

I had one of those dreams last night where I was eating everything.

Everything.

I can remember being little and going to one of those buffets at the mall that were all the rage in the 80s. You know what I’m talking about. I believe the one that used to be in the Bangor Mall in Bangor,  » Read more

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When It’s None of Your Business, But Your Brain Won’t Stop Asking

At this point, we’ve spent a good hour or two chatting about it.

There’s a big interpersonal conflict between two friends of ours. And we’re both in the same boat: We know them well enough to be interested in what’s going on. But we’re not close enough to actually sidle up and ask the parties involved.  » Read more

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There’s Nothing to Do — and at the Same Time Too Much

“I’m getting really sick of this,” a friend confesses.

“I know what you mean,” I say. Because I do.

Neither of us have been out in ages. The cabin fever is real. True, my friend has snowy winter to contend with — seeing as they still live up North (where I’m from).  » Read more

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You Don’t Always Have the Time You Think You Have

“We go way back, don’t we, Page?” my grandmother says. We’ve just walked out of my grandfather’s funeral. We’re standing outside the church waiting for the funeral procession to coalesce in a tidy formation so we can drive to the graveyard.

She was wobbly as we walked out of the church, but now she clutches me to her chest with sudden strength.  » Read more

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When Pointing Out You’re in a Good Mood Puts You in a Bad or Neutral One

“You seem like you’re in a good mood today,” I say. Because you do. You’re smiling. There’s a happiness – a lightness about your spirit that I love to see. I can see it in your body language, the way you’re holding yourself, your facial expressions.

But I instantly regret pointing it out.  » Read more

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I’m Glad I Didn’t Quit When I Felt Things Were Hopeless. I Hope You Don’t Quit Either.

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.

-Anne Lamott

*

I’m writing this post on January 19, 2021, the day before the new US President gets inaugurated.  » Read more

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When You’re Worried that a Relationship Will Bring Out the Worst Side of You

I’ve written a fair amount about abusive relationships, family estrangement, my own trauma history and unglamorous recovery, and even lesser discussed concepts like proto-abuse.

It has largely been a difficult area to talk about by the way. Not just because these are touchy subjects and emotionally difficult to write about,  » Read more

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I Used to Date Someone Who Ruined Moments on Purpose

It’s weird. I’m over it. Over us. I am.

After all, I was the one who ended it, wasn’t I? I usually am the one who initiate breakups. Not because I’m heartless. Or because I want to leave before I get hurt (it’s usually too late for to avoid getting hurt by the time things end).  » Read more

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