Aidan Mc Nally's Blog: Random thoughts by Aidan.
August 27, 2024
Mastering the Focused Mind: Key Element for Manifesting Change
To do or NOT to do?
Do you have a bucket list? Something in your mind that you want to see, do or accomplish prior to kicking the bucket. This kind of touches on the positives and negatives in our lives today. Do we focus on the positive all the time or too much or are we the person who looks at everything from a more down perspective?
As an example, do we focus on what we want to do in our lives or do we pay too much attention to what we will never do and absolutely no way in hell would we ever consider such horrible things.?
I think of the two, bucket list and anti bucket list like there is not much point to either of them. If I am involved in life and doing it everyday then some moments will present themselves and that is just that. I see it that if we are chasing some dreams of “I want to do xyz before I die”, then what is stopping us from making that happen today?
The concept being that when we tell ourselves or use term like “chasing” for chasing our dreams then we are kind of telling ourselves that we might not catch them and it is a chase. Often times we can become tired when we are chasing something and we might not ever catch that which we are chasing.
Going beyond your dreams is a nicer way to live your life, this is a concept I learned a number of years ago. The concept came about when I was listening to someone on the internet and I started listening very clearly when I head them say “May you never live out your dreams”. I thought that it was a bit of a harsh thing to say to somebody until the explanation followed and here it is. Dreams are made up of events and images that we have experienced in our lives. Sometimes they are all jumbled up pieces of our lives and they can make little or no sense of what they mean or how the things all jumbled together to make what felt like a full night of sleep’s dream. So they are wishing someone does not live out their dreams means that they have already lived those days and the wish becomes that we wish you to go beyond that which you have already done before. To live a life beyond what you have ever thought you dreamed of. Go to places you have never been and to experience life that you have never experienced. To go beyond those of your dreams and to have a life filled with “stuff” beyond what you could have ever imagined or dreamed of.
In a nutshell, do not limit yourself by believing that you must chase a dream or that you are limited by the things and experiences you have already had.
A nice little thing to whisper to yourself is this;
I am ready to have a life beyond that which I could even imagine.
Preparing yourself and your inner self for all that can come and welcome it in with open arms are key techniques to bringing about the wonderful into your own life. Life comes to us when we are prepared and so a ton of gurus all over the internet will tell how to manifest a better life and bring about all the great new changes into your current life, the simple of it is that when we are prepared is when things happen. The trick is not to believe so much in some dream that you were chasing and then wonder why nothing is working for you. Your time is better spent preparing yourself and becoming prepared and then as if by magic, the beauty of life begins to reveal itself to you.
The next step is having yourself prepared enough to recognise it all while it is happening. We can discuss that at another time although it is important to know that the signs and signals are around each and every day. Are you prepared enough or have you tuned your senses on enough to notice when the magic is happening? This will be why you may have heard people say things like “living the dream” and not sarcastically either. They genuinely mean they are living that wonderful life.
The negative side of the anti bucket list, or is it negative?
It may be a smaller list of things, the list of what we promise ourselves to never want to do and so it could be easier to have a glance at those things and then we are preparing ourselves for everything else. Our mind has a ton of power over how life happens for us and believe me as I do not say it lightly that our mind is very powerful.
When we become laser focussed we can do anything. “You can do anything you put your mind to” maybe you have heard this somewhere before. What does it mean to you? And of course why has such a little saying that carries a huge amount of potential, why has it lasted so long. Why has it stuck around and been used over and over throughout the test of time. Successful achievers in life swear by it and will tell you how somebody said it to them one day and they latched on and have not let go since. So focussing of the mind is a key element, agreed?
Why the mind though?
Probably because it is the most powerful tool we possess in our journey around this planet, the thing we call our life. I understand that people reading here may think of their bank balance as a powerful tool, yes it is for affording things or creating experiences. The focussed mind does not need a bank balance. The focussed mind will make it all happen for you anyways bank balance or not. You may consider that “Your health is your wealth” this can also be true and it wipes out the idea of a bank balance or financials having anything to do with anything.
The concept is that when we choose to allow our mind space be filled with things we do not want to happen then usually they are exactly what will happen. Why so? Our mind does not recognise the difference in instructions as being a positive or a negative, our mind simply hears the command and makes stuff happen for us. Remembering of course how I said a little bit back that the mind is a very powerful tool. I have countless examples I can share with you, though who wants to hear all that jazz. I can confirm for you that the mind is the key to the greatest life we will ever live. Yes your mind and your life. SO what can we do that is so easy and simple and not cost anything?
Glad you asked for the easy fix, yes I am also aware of how that is what everybody wants these days. A simple 30 second video that will bring about all the changes necessary to improve their life and make it all fairytale like? I have to admit that I have never known anything of a click of the fingers or 30 seconds fix. Build in to it gradually and the simplest ever is to clear our mind of clutter. Clear out the auld mind and allow room for the preparation to begin. That is the quick and easy fix. Here is a list of simple hacks/tips/tricks;
1. Remove unwanted clutter in your mind (stop filling the memory with unwanted junk).
2. Practice bringing your mind to focus on only one thought (this can be anything).
3. Prepare and become open to receive that which you have never even known.
4. Prepare your mind to have extra space available to receive new experiences and form new memories.
5. Whisper these words to yourself regularly. I am open to receive all that is beautiful for me (Preparing yourself for nicer).
6. Forget all that you WANT and do NOT WANT and become free and easy about all that IS.
7. Focus on the strong points of everything.( See the beauty & feel the beauty)
I can guarantee you that you will begin to see massive changes in your life and all for the better once you adapt these 7 simple steps. You can try as you wish to prove me wrong or incorrect and debunk the theory. The idea of this helps my confidence grow in my statement just now. Commit to it, focus yourself and enjoy all that is about to become.
Do you have a bucket list? Something in your mind that you want to see, do or accomplish prior to kicking the bucket. This kind of touches on the positives and negatives in our lives today. Do we focus on the positive all the time or too much or are we the person who looks at everything from a more down perspective?
As an example, do we focus on what we want to do in our lives or do we pay too much attention to what we will never do and absolutely no way in hell would we ever consider such horrible things.?
I think of the two, bucket list and anti bucket list like there is not much point to either of them. If I am involved in life and doing it everyday then some moments will present themselves and that is just that. I see it that if we are chasing some dreams of “I want to do xyz before I die”, then what is stopping us from making that happen today?
The concept being that when we tell ourselves or use term like “chasing” for chasing our dreams then we are kind of telling ourselves that we might not catch them and it is a chase. Often times we can become tired when we are chasing something and we might not ever catch that which we are chasing.
Going beyond your dreams is a nicer way to live your life, this is a concept I learned a number of years ago. The concept came about when I was listening to someone on the internet and I started listening very clearly when I head them say “May you never live out your dreams”. I thought that it was a bit of a harsh thing to say to somebody until the explanation followed and here it is. Dreams are made up of events and images that we have experienced in our lives. Sometimes they are all jumbled up pieces of our lives and they can make little or no sense of what they mean or how the things all jumbled together to make what felt like a full night of sleep’s dream. So they are wishing someone does not live out their dreams means that they have already lived those days and the wish becomes that we wish you to go beyond that which you have already done before. To live a life beyond what you have ever thought you dreamed of. Go to places you have never been and to experience life that you have never experienced. To go beyond those of your dreams and to have a life filled with “stuff” beyond what you could have ever imagined or dreamed of.
In a nutshell, do not limit yourself by believing that you must chase a dream or that you are limited by the things and experiences you have already had.
A nice little thing to whisper to yourself is this;
I am ready to have a life beyond that which I could even imagine.
Preparing yourself and your inner self for all that can come and welcome it in with open arms are key techniques to bringing about the wonderful into your own life. Life comes to us when we are prepared and so a ton of gurus all over the internet will tell how to manifest a better life and bring about all the great new changes into your current life, the simple of it is that when we are prepared is when things happen. The trick is not to believe so much in some dream that you were chasing and then wonder why nothing is working for you. Your time is better spent preparing yourself and becoming prepared and then as if by magic, the beauty of life begins to reveal itself to you.
The next step is having yourself prepared enough to recognise it all while it is happening. We can discuss that at another time although it is important to know that the signs and signals are around each and every day. Are you prepared enough or have you tuned your senses on enough to notice when the magic is happening? This will be why you may have heard people say things like “living the dream” and not sarcastically either. They genuinely mean they are living that wonderful life.
The negative side of the anti bucket list, or is it negative?
It may be a smaller list of things, the list of what we promise ourselves to never want to do and so it could be easier to have a glance at those things and then we are preparing ourselves for everything else. Our mind has a ton of power over how life happens for us and believe me as I do not say it lightly that our mind is very powerful.
When we become laser focussed we can do anything. “You can do anything you put your mind to” maybe you have heard this somewhere before. What does it mean to you? And of course why has such a little saying that carries a huge amount of potential, why has it lasted so long. Why has it stuck around and been used over and over throughout the test of time. Successful achievers in life swear by it and will tell you how somebody said it to them one day and they latched on and have not let go since. So focussing of the mind is a key element, agreed?
Why the mind though?
Probably because it is the most powerful tool we possess in our journey around this planet, the thing we call our life. I understand that people reading here may think of their bank balance as a powerful tool, yes it is for affording things or creating experiences. The focussed mind does not need a bank balance. The focussed mind will make it all happen for you anyways bank balance or not. You may consider that “Your health is your wealth” this can also be true and it wipes out the idea of a bank balance or financials having anything to do with anything.
The concept is that when we choose to allow our mind space be filled with things we do not want to happen then usually they are exactly what will happen. Why so? Our mind does not recognise the difference in instructions as being a positive or a negative, our mind simply hears the command and makes stuff happen for us. Remembering of course how I said a little bit back that the mind is a very powerful tool. I have countless examples I can share with you, though who wants to hear all that jazz. I can confirm for you that the mind is the key to the greatest life we will ever live. Yes your mind and your life. SO what can we do that is so easy and simple and not cost anything?
Glad you asked for the easy fix, yes I am also aware of how that is what everybody wants these days. A simple 30 second video that will bring about all the changes necessary to improve their life and make it all fairytale like? I have to admit that I have never known anything of a click of the fingers or 30 seconds fix. Build in to it gradually and the simplest ever is to clear our mind of clutter. Clear out the auld mind and allow room for the preparation to begin. That is the quick and easy fix. Here is a list of simple hacks/tips/tricks;
1. Remove unwanted clutter in your mind (stop filling the memory with unwanted junk).
2. Practice bringing your mind to focus on only one thought (this can be anything).
3. Prepare and become open to receive that which you have never even known.
4. Prepare your mind to have extra space available to receive new experiences and form new memories.
5. Whisper these words to yourself regularly. I am open to receive all that is beautiful for me (Preparing yourself for nicer).
6. Forget all that you WANT and do NOT WANT and become free and easy about all that IS.
7. Focus on the strong points of everything.( See the beauty & feel the beauty)
I can guarantee you that you will begin to see massive changes in your life and all for the better once you adapt these 7 simple steps. You can try as you wish to prove me wrong or incorrect and debunk the theory. The idea of this helps my confidence grow in my statement just now. Commit to it, focus yourself and enjoy all that is about to become.
August 22, 2024
The internet, A.I and You
What about A.I though?
I used to think technology was great and the fast pace of an online world was the place to be. That was probably back in the 2000’s though, now I am not sure I fit anymore. The technology space may very well be the place for you, it is me not you though.
In the earlier days of signing up for a hotmail free email account and then the whole my space thingy, do you remember those days in the nineties? What have you done with or taken from our online presence hysteria?
I suppose the truth of the internet for me has been that I learned to use it as a tool to make money, ah do not be fooled, I did not just sit back and have some click bait ads that saw cash flow and flow like a river into my bank account or anything like that. I have used the internet as an advertising space to reach potential customers and then after the initial contact was made by using the web, then the work began and the money flowed. The money flowing still required work, just to clarify. Perhaps you are like me in how the internet always represents the platform to advertise and reach new people and potential customers? Perhaps you live somewhat vicariously through the internet and see no use for it as a money making platform and spend your time connected to have an online extension to your own personal real life? I have no way of knowing of how you see the world wide inter web and perhaps you have mastered the art of rarely using it, I say rarely because in these times in 2024 I really do doubt anybody remains internet free.
I continue to use the internet as a place to seek out new people, even in this post here I am writing to bring some thoughts to your mind that encourage as always the concept of thinking for yourself. My ultimate goal I suppose is to bring about a thought for somebody today and then because of that thought I will gain favour in your mind and you will be intrigued to know more and ultimately click around my website and download a kindle read of one of my books. To me that is a fair piece of work put in on my part, not only here in a blog post as many writers will happily tell you, the work of writing the books in the first place deserves its own recognition of workload too.
I always thought things like this when it came to the internet, “Oh, I better not put all of my information on the internet – you never know who is gathering my information and who is looking” and “Best to remain private as an individual and not share everything”. Laughable aren’t they, those thoughts of mine from back in the day. I just back in the day and yet here I sit as a guy who has written a couple of memoirs and put a lot “business” out in the streets, so to speak. I guess it then becomes a question of what do we feel is our private life anymore and with the internet and all social media sites being very much part of our lives, what actually is private? The conspiracies about who is listening are endless and some of my friends will tell me how they never spoke any words about a subject and they only ever thought about it and then all of a sudden a pop up ad came along advertising to them the very thing they had only thought about. That would of course mean that there is argument to say that the internet can read our minds. Although, I am not a believer in that kind of thing anymore. I do believe the devices are listening and marketing profiles are being built about and around us all of the time. And to what harm?
Would you be upset or angry if the internet is working hard to make your life simpler and making suggestions to you what you might do next?
Perhaps you are old enough to remember the birth of the cell phones and when they came out with this great thing called predictive text? I can remember getting frustrated with my cell phone many times because the predictive thing was screwing up my texts and I did not know how to turn the thing off. The predictive nature of things around cell phones and the internet have definitely taking some major leaps and bounds since, would you agree? There are robots around the internet that will scan this very post here and scan for keywords and usage of words and then send me emails with all kinds of website marketing strategies. This is no big deal anymore and just part of the way it is I guess. Though I do often wonder what my profile looks like. I like to think I am a hard sell, yet I do participate and do indeed use the internet for all kinds of every day usage. I love the posts the go around the internet saying this – “Once upon a time we forgave people for not knowing any better. In today’s world all the information possible is available in a hand held device in your pocket. So what is your excuse now?” Quite true when I think about it and I have researched and watched videos on a wide range of subjects for many different projects. I am never all the way in though, fully immersed. Are you?
If the internet is listening all of the time to you and you or me or both of us are being targeted for the purpose of advertising, then what do our profiles look like? Can A.I (artificial intelligence) show me the profile that exists about me?
I am not deep in A.I at all though and I barely know what the different versions of things are anymore. Like I said in the beginning, it is not the internet, it is me. I fell off so to speak. I have lost the appetite to know what is coming next and what is a buzz on wall street, what are the trends and what are the public buying, where is the money at? And what brought this about? Is it better to be in the know and on the cutting edge of technology? It certainly does appear to be that there is money to be made by having match sticks keeping your eyes open 24/7 and keeping up so to be at the front of everything and technology investing has paid massive dividends to those of you who have been all the way in. There are those of you who have the internet on autopilot with a drop ship skin or an “etsy” boutique and are reaping great rewards by employing all the A.I tools to automate a business and enjoy making the money monthly. The success stories do seem to be in the minority though. Funny thought just there, for those of you who got lost and do not know what I meant when I said “drop ship skin” raise your hands now. Email me immediately so I can explain to you and for those of who do know what that means, go ahead and buy a kindle of one of my books today, you will thank me later.
That last line there was a call to action piece, did you get that? I was not being all that serious and so there was no link and no fancy picture for you to click so I may have lost the sale. That is how I see the internet as working, I always though of how once upon a time there was the cliché of the door to door fire extinguisher salesman, remember this kind of concept? Door to door sales! Where a person went to a neighbourhood and knocked on every door. Sometimes they would put their foot slightly in the doorway once the person opened the door and then give their sales pitch. This is where you got the saying of getting your “foot in the door” for example. You had an in to deliver your pitch and once you gave that pitch several times over and over in the law of statistics, you would make a sale. Then came along the internet, gone are the days that you need to knock on every door. You have a foot in the door already. You can now pitch away to the entire world everyday if you wish. Make a blog post like mine and encourage people to buy a book every now and then. The A.I software will wish to improve my pitch and offer you click bait and places to purchase immediately and then I am winning in the game of life, right? Hence the call to action throughout the post, I am aware of the pitch game and have chosen not to bombard you with click links because I feel stronger about encouraging thought than making the sale. Imagine I have been willing to sacrifice the sale over encouraging you to think for yourself. I do not wish to influence you in one way or another and I simply present to you some of my own thoughts and hope you begin to form your own based of something that I may spark up inside of you. Like the rock dropped into the pond. The ripples go on and on and eventually reach the shore. A.I works hard on planting seeds and the pop up ads are the branches of the seeds already planted smacking you in the face saying “make the purchase, make the purchase”.
After all, it was once discovered that we are consumers and the best way to be in business is to supply the consumers with what the ultimately want. Perhaps the reason you are reading this post today is because the A.I inside of me knows that you want to buy one of my books and all has been aligned to bring you to here right now for that simple purpose? It is possible right that I have figured this out about you already, isn’t it?
The truth from me to you is that I have no clue why you are even here. I am glad that you stopped by and when you leave if you do not snoop around my website and leave with a book purchased then so be it. I will not lose any sleep over it and nor should you, or should you? Maybe you have been losing sleep already and that is what brought you here in the first place? Maybe you are just plain old nosy and that is all it took to get you reading this far. Have I wasted your time bringing thought to your mind about the internet and how you sue it and what they know about you? Perhaps you never wanted to be called a consumer and to be marketed to by A.I. All I can say to that is get used to it because it is all her to stay and we are consumers.
After all of that being said, what am I here to sell you today? I wish for you to gain insight in to your own life. I wish for you to reach a place where life tastes better all the way round. And how do tell do I propose to do that? I offer to you my hard work of writing in the form of two of my books that I have written for you. Two sons TOO many is a memoir where I disclose my life experiences to you and you will read this boo and have many thoughts and emotions occur for you all while simply reading a book. Most of my experiences in life have been wonderful and mind blowing at the same time. I offer to you the read to bring about some thoughts and emotions of your own where you can find a higher understanding. A pick me up so to speak of how good life really is for you right now. You may not believe such a pick me up is possible from reading a book. The only way to know that is to give it a whirl. How long do you think I would make it in this world if I were to lie to you about that? Then there is Layman’s Handbook, this is a book about tools and tricks I learned to prevent myself from going completely insane really, well I suppose that is fair to say. Perhaps it is the book that has confirmed for me the complete insanity of me and I wish the not yet convince insane to begin to recognise how insane is a really nice place to be. Funny when I say it like that isn’t it? Watch the sales sky rocket on that little snippet/note right there.
To sum it all up. The internet is watching and listening and there is very little we can do about it. Though it is not a big deal and it is simply the way it is. If you want to be more successful in your own business get to using the world wide interweb and do the research, all the information you need is available at the touch of a few buttons. If you want a good laugh and a good cry then buy TWO sons TOO many. If you want to turn your ship around and make life a calmer more beautiful place then grab yourself a copy of Layman’s Handbook. And do not worry about being a consumer with a marketable profile in the world. Enjoy life first then worry about nothing.
I used to think technology was great and the fast pace of an online world was the place to be. That was probably back in the 2000’s though, now I am not sure I fit anymore. The technology space may very well be the place for you, it is me not you though.
In the earlier days of signing up for a hotmail free email account and then the whole my space thingy, do you remember those days in the nineties? What have you done with or taken from our online presence hysteria?
I suppose the truth of the internet for me has been that I learned to use it as a tool to make money, ah do not be fooled, I did not just sit back and have some click bait ads that saw cash flow and flow like a river into my bank account or anything like that. I have used the internet as an advertising space to reach potential customers and then after the initial contact was made by using the web, then the work began and the money flowed. The money flowing still required work, just to clarify. Perhaps you are like me in how the internet always represents the platform to advertise and reach new people and potential customers? Perhaps you live somewhat vicariously through the internet and see no use for it as a money making platform and spend your time connected to have an online extension to your own personal real life? I have no way of knowing of how you see the world wide inter web and perhaps you have mastered the art of rarely using it, I say rarely because in these times in 2024 I really do doubt anybody remains internet free.
I continue to use the internet as a place to seek out new people, even in this post here I am writing to bring some thoughts to your mind that encourage as always the concept of thinking for yourself. My ultimate goal I suppose is to bring about a thought for somebody today and then because of that thought I will gain favour in your mind and you will be intrigued to know more and ultimately click around my website and download a kindle read of one of my books. To me that is a fair piece of work put in on my part, not only here in a blog post as many writers will happily tell you, the work of writing the books in the first place deserves its own recognition of workload too.
I always thought things like this when it came to the internet, “Oh, I better not put all of my information on the internet – you never know who is gathering my information and who is looking” and “Best to remain private as an individual and not share everything”. Laughable aren’t they, those thoughts of mine from back in the day. I just back in the day and yet here I sit as a guy who has written a couple of memoirs and put a lot “business” out in the streets, so to speak. I guess it then becomes a question of what do we feel is our private life anymore and with the internet and all social media sites being very much part of our lives, what actually is private? The conspiracies about who is listening are endless and some of my friends will tell me how they never spoke any words about a subject and they only ever thought about it and then all of a sudden a pop up ad came along advertising to them the very thing they had only thought about. That would of course mean that there is argument to say that the internet can read our minds. Although, I am not a believer in that kind of thing anymore. I do believe the devices are listening and marketing profiles are being built about and around us all of the time. And to what harm?
Would you be upset or angry if the internet is working hard to make your life simpler and making suggestions to you what you might do next?
Perhaps you are old enough to remember the birth of the cell phones and when they came out with this great thing called predictive text? I can remember getting frustrated with my cell phone many times because the predictive thing was screwing up my texts and I did not know how to turn the thing off. The predictive nature of things around cell phones and the internet have definitely taking some major leaps and bounds since, would you agree? There are robots around the internet that will scan this very post here and scan for keywords and usage of words and then send me emails with all kinds of website marketing strategies. This is no big deal anymore and just part of the way it is I guess. Though I do often wonder what my profile looks like. I like to think I am a hard sell, yet I do participate and do indeed use the internet for all kinds of every day usage. I love the posts the go around the internet saying this – “Once upon a time we forgave people for not knowing any better. In today’s world all the information possible is available in a hand held device in your pocket. So what is your excuse now?” Quite true when I think about it and I have researched and watched videos on a wide range of subjects for many different projects. I am never all the way in though, fully immersed. Are you?
If the internet is listening all of the time to you and you or me or both of us are being targeted for the purpose of advertising, then what do our profiles look like? Can A.I (artificial intelligence) show me the profile that exists about me?
I am not deep in A.I at all though and I barely know what the different versions of things are anymore. Like I said in the beginning, it is not the internet, it is me. I fell off so to speak. I have lost the appetite to know what is coming next and what is a buzz on wall street, what are the trends and what are the public buying, where is the money at? And what brought this about? Is it better to be in the know and on the cutting edge of technology? It certainly does appear to be that there is money to be made by having match sticks keeping your eyes open 24/7 and keeping up so to be at the front of everything and technology investing has paid massive dividends to those of you who have been all the way in. There are those of you who have the internet on autopilot with a drop ship skin or an “etsy” boutique and are reaping great rewards by employing all the A.I tools to automate a business and enjoy making the money monthly. The success stories do seem to be in the minority though. Funny thought just there, for those of you who got lost and do not know what I meant when I said “drop ship skin” raise your hands now. Email me immediately so I can explain to you and for those of who do know what that means, go ahead and buy a kindle of one of my books today, you will thank me later.
That last line there was a call to action piece, did you get that? I was not being all that serious and so there was no link and no fancy picture for you to click so I may have lost the sale. That is how I see the internet as working, I always though of how once upon a time there was the cliché of the door to door fire extinguisher salesman, remember this kind of concept? Door to door sales! Where a person went to a neighbourhood and knocked on every door. Sometimes they would put their foot slightly in the doorway once the person opened the door and then give their sales pitch. This is where you got the saying of getting your “foot in the door” for example. You had an in to deliver your pitch and once you gave that pitch several times over and over in the law of statistics, you would make a sale. Then came along the internet, gone are the days that you need to knock on every door. You have a foot in the door already. You can now pitch away to the entire world everyday if you wish. Make a blog post like mine and encourage people to buy a book every now and then. The A.I software will wish to improve my pitch and offer you click bait and places to purchase immediately and then I am winning in the game of life, right? Hence the call to action throughout the post, I am aware of the pitch game and have chosen not to bombard you with click links because I feel stronger about encouraging thought than making the sale. Imagine I have been willing to sacrifice the sale over encouraging you to think for yourself. I do not wish to influence you in one way or another and I simply present to you some of my own thoughts and hope you begin to form your own based of something that I may spark up inside of you. Like the rock dropped into the pond. The ripples go on and on and eventually reach the shore. A.I works hard on planting seeds and the pop up ads are the branches of the seeds already planted smacking you in the face saying “make the purchase, make the purchase”.
After all, it was once discovered that we are consumers and the best way to be in business is to supply the consumers with what the ultimately want. Perhaps the reason you are reading this post today is because the A.I inside of me knows that you want to buy one of my books and all has been aligned to bring you to here right now for that simple purpose? It is possible right that I have figured this out about you already, isn’t it?
The truth from me to you is that I have no clue why you are even here. I am glad that you stopped by and when you leave if you do not snoop around my website and leave with a book purchased then so be it. I will not lose any sleep over it and nor should you, or should you? Maybe you have been losing sleep already and that is what brought you here in the first place? Maybe you are just plain old nosy and that is all it took to get you reading this far. Have I wasted your time bringing thought to your mind about the internet and how you sue it and what they know about you? Perhaps you never wanted to be called a consumer and to be marketed to by A.I. All I can say to that is get used to it because it is all her to stay and we are consumers.
After all of that being said, what am I here to sell you today? I wish for you to gain insight in to your own life. I wish for you to reach a place where life tastes better all the way round. And how do tell do I propose to do that? I offer to you my hard work of writing in the form of two of my books that I have written for you. Two sons TOO many is a memoir where I disclose my life experiences to you and you will read this boo and have many thoughts and emotions occur for you all while simply reading a book. Most of my experiences in life have been wonderful and mind blowing at the same time. I offer to you the read to bring about some thoughts and emotions of your own where you can find a higher understanding. A pick me up so to speak of how good life really is for you right now. You may not believe such a pick me up is possible from reading a book. The only way to know that is to give it a whirl. How long do you think I would make it in this world if I were to lie to you about that? Then there is Layman’s Handbook, this is a book about tools and tricks I learned to prevent myself from going completely insane really, well I suppose that is fair to say. Perhaps it is the book that has confirmed for me the complete insanity of me and I wish the not yet convince insane to begin to recognise how insane is a really nice place to be. Funny when I say it like that isn’t it? Watch the sales sky rocket on that little snippet/note right there.
To sum it all up. The internet is watching and listening and there is very little we can do about it. Though it is not a big deal and it is simply the way it is. If you want to be more successful in your own business get to using the world wide interweb and do the research, all the information you need is available at the touch of a few buttons. If you want a good laugh and a good cry then buy TWO sons TOO many. If you want to turn your ship around and make life a calmer more beautiful place then grab yourself a copy of Layman’s Handbook. And do not worry about being a consumer with a marketable profile in the world. Enjoy life first then worry about nothing.
November 26, 2023
Head wrecked ever?
Head wrecked ever?
Have you ever heard the expression "head wrecked"?
It is used quite frequently in Ireland and it refers to having your mind bent a little bit or being confused. The term can also be used when someone is not in a "good place", mentally that is. It can also be light-hearted and be as a simple as not being able to figure out a simple issue at work and then again can be quite severe when someone may casually say "My head is wrecked".
Another wording about our head is when somebody will speak about another person who may be experiencing some head wrecking situation and they might be referred to as not having their head ~ "their head is gone". Obviously their head is still attached to their body and has not actually gone anywhere physically.
So why the big deal about the head?
I guess we have heard the more modern universal terms of being in a good place and how being with or in a good head space, this is one we all know. Or the opposite of being in a not so good head space. Again though. Why the focus on the head? And if it is about our head being wrecked or gone then it can allow us to focus on our head.
I suppose with all that goes on inside of our head it does stand to reason that we use such terms and have immediate understanding of such sayings and terms of reference. Ireland can be quite funny in the use of terms that are not always a direct slang term and then again not always correct or proper "English" language either. I could meet a friend in passing and ask how are they doing and with a smile and a roll of their eyes. They simply speak the words "head wrecked" or "aw heads gone". I automatically understand by how they deliver it that they are either not in a good place, struggling with an issue or they feel they have lost the run of themselves.
I have never been told or received any mention of their feelings or emotions. Though this is Ireland and for the majority. Emotions have never been high on a priority list. Most do always consider where is their head at?
Like in sports for example, a coach may tell you to get your "head" in the game. In business we may also hear of how important it is to keep our "mind" on the prize.
Although I have never heard any person reply to my question of how are they doing with the kind of response that says "I am feeling quite mixed in my feelings right now" nor "my feelings are all over the place". It is always about the head.
One funny little I have heard over the years was "keep a clear mind and a clean underpants" and this was the prepared for life success formula lol.
I can remember many times when my own head seemed wrecked and I had no clue how to bring any change about. I can remember hearing my ex coach's words of keeping my head in the game though nothing seemed to take away the "mind melt" that was occurring. And so I was focusing on my head. I was working myself to bits going almost to a point of crazy wishing for my mind to calm down and clear itself. Asking my own head to give me a break. Asking my head to just shut up and allow me sleep. Things like begging for a moment of peace. And then along came my shift. My solution to it all came from my feelings and not from my head at all.
My focus point was a ll wrong. Perhaps being Irish and having heard for years upon years in our society here about the "head wrecking" and the "heads gone" type stuff, by default I was focusing on my head. I do even think that today there are apps and calming meditations that use labels such as head space as an example.
What I found that was the best way to clear my mind was to pause life. Take a few moments for myself and I began to practice breathing slowly and steadily. A question arose, is it possible to focus on just one thing? Not always an easy task to accomplish in the beginning and even now it can be a challenge on some days. The focus on one thing became listening to how I breathe, understanding that the muscles in my nose and my chest were moving to make my breath work. I began to focus on nothing else and then moved slowly on to the physical feeling of how the air was entering my body and imagining of how the tiny oxygen parts were being attached to red blood cells and moving all around my body to help me move and continue moving.
I found myself in a meditative state and my mind began slowing down. I was receiving clear and steady thoughts at a very slow pace. And then came the emotions. I was crying at times, for no reason that I understood and then at other times I was giddy and smiling. Something was occurring inside of me and it had absolutely nothing to do with my head. Yes my head was much quieter though the new world of my feelings was much more enjoyable and a much more enjoyable place to be and to experience. With the great benefits of working some more and practicing more breath work came longer and more sustained peace of mind. No more head wreck. No more head gone,, as a matter of fact quite the opposite. More focused and much more calm within my entire self.
I grew in my contentment and became empowered beyond my own belief to get to know this calmer version of myself. A version of myself I could love so much more. I grew to love my new feeling type life quite quickly and began experiencing great benefits of being able to maintain a clear and focused mind and it all had nothing to do with my head in the first place.
I guess just like the differences between eastern and western medicines or homeopathy as an example. In western medicine we treat the symptoms, in my case this would be the head being wrecked. In eastern medicine or homeopathy we seek out the source of the issue and we treat he root cause. In my case the turmoil and pains in my feelings.
Breath work and focus on my breathing brought me to a wonderful place of mindfulness and I did not even know what the place was called. I had no clue it was called mindfulness and to add to that I had no idea what meditation really was. I can tell you that I have never owned a yoga mat nor have I ever participated in any studio type class or any organised version of any such mindfulness practices. All that I did was begin to focus on my own breathing.
I will follow up with you during the week of how I discovered that my breathing was the area I needed to focus on and how my own breakthrough came about in that area of life. Like, follow, share the blog post for all of your wonderful friends and thank you for taking the time to read..
@TWOsonsTOOmany
Have you ever heard the expression "head wrecked"?
It is used quite frequently in Ireland and it refers to having your mind bent a little bit or being confused. The term can also be used when someone is not in a "good place", mentally that is. It can also be light-hearted and be as a simple as not being able to figure out a simple issue at work and then again can be quite severe when someone may casually say "My head is wrecked".
Another wording about our head is when somebody will speak about another person who may be experiencing some head wrecking situation and they might be referred to as not having their head ~ "their head is gone". Obviously their head is still attached to their body and has not actually gone anywhere physically.
So why the big deal about the head?
I guess we have heard the more modern universal terms of being in a good place and how being with or in a good head space, this is one we all know. Or the opposite of being in a not so good head space. Again though. Why the focus on the head? And if it is about our head being wrecked or gone then it can allow us to focus on our head.
I suppose with all that goes on inside of our head it does stand to reason that we use such terms and have immediate understanding of such sayings and terms of reference. Ireland can be quite funny in the use of terms that are not always a direct slang term and then again not always correct or proper "English" language either. I could meet a friend in passing and ask how are they doing and with a smile and a roll of their eyes. They simply speak the words "head wrecked" or "aw heads gone". I automatically understand by how they deliver it that they are either not in a good place, struggling with an issue or they feel they have lost the run of themselves.
I have never been told or received any mention of their feelings or emotions. Though this is Ireland and for the majority. Emotions have never been high on a priority list. Most do always consider where is their head at?
Like in sports for example, a coach may tell you to get your "head" in the game. In business we may also hear of how important it is to keep our "mind" on the prize.
Although I have never heard any person reply to my question of how are they doing with the kind of response that says "I am feeling quite mixed in my feelings right now" nor "my feelings are all over the place". It is always about the head.
One funny little I have heard over the years was "keep a clear mind and a clean underpants" and this was the prepared for life success formula lol.
I can remember many times when my own head seemed wrecked and I had no clue how to bring any change about. I can remember hearing my ex coach's words of keeping my head in the game though nothing seemed to take away the "mind melt" that was occurring. And so I was focusing on my head. I was working myself to bits going almost to a point of crazy wishing for my mind to calm down and clear itself. Asking my own head to give me a break. Asking my head to just shut up and allow me sleep. Things like begging for a moment of peace. And then along came my shift. My solution to it all came from my feelings and not from my head at all.
My focus point was a ll wrong. Perhaps being Irish and having heard for years upon years in our society here about the "head wrecking" and the "heads gone" type stuff, by default I was focusing on my head. I do even think that today there are apps and calming meditations that use labels such as head space as an example.
What I found that was the best way to clear my mind was to pause life. Take a few moments for myself and I began to practice breathing slowly and steadily. A question arose, is it possible to focus on just one thing? Not always an easy task to accomplish in the beginning and even now it can be a challenge on some days. The focus on one thing became listening to how I breathe, understanding that the muscles in my nose and my chest were moving to make my breath work. I began to focus on nothing else and then moved slowly on to the physical feeling of how the air was entering my body and imagining of how the tiny oxygen parts were being attached to red blood cells and moving all around my body to help me move and continue moving.
I found myself in a meditative state and my mind began slowing down. I was receiving clear and steady thoughts at a very slow pace. And then came the emotions. I was crying at times, for no reason that I understood and then at other times I was giddy and smiling. Something was occurring inside of me and it had absolutely nothing to do with my head. Yes my head was much quieter though the new world of my feelings was much more enjoyable and a much more enjoyable place to be and to experience. With the great benefits of working some more and practicing more breath work came longer and more sustained peace of mind. No more head wreck. No more head gone,, as a matter of fact quite the opposite. More focused and much more calm within my entire self.
I grew in my contentment and became empowered beyond my own belief to get to know this calmer version of myself. A version of myself I could love so much more. I grew to love my new feeling type life quite quickly and began experiencing great benefits of being able to maintain a clear and focused mind and it all had nothing to do with my head in the first place.
I guess just like the differences between eastern and western medicines or homeopathy as an example. In western medicine we treat the symptoms, in my case this would be the head being wrecked. In eastern medicine or homeopathy we seek out the source of the issue and we treat he root cause. In my case the turmoil and pains in my feelings.
Breath work and focus on my breathing brought me to a wonderful place of mindfulness and I did not even know what the place was called. I had no clue it was called mindfulness and to add to that I had no idea what meditation really was. I can tell you that I have never owned a yoga mat nor have I ever participated in any studio type class or any organised version of any such mindfulness practices. All that I did was begin to focus on my own breathing.
I will follow up with you during the week of how I discovered that my breathing was the area I needed to focus on and how my own breakthrough came about in that area of life. Like, follow, share the blog post for all of your wonderful friends and thank you for taking the time to read..
@TWOsonsTOOmany
September 17, 2023
TODAY – You WILL be ok! Okay?
TODAY – You WILL be ok! Okay?
It can be hard to feel okay on a daily basis and sometimes there does not have to be any significant dramatic event to bring about any such type of feelings. Feelings are just like that, they come and they go.
I guess we could repeat that very important piece, “They come and They GO”. Why bother repeating it? Because the highlighted portion is that the same feelings do come along from time to time and the important piece to know is that will also go away and make room for other feelings also.
When we find ourselves under the weather so to speak or not feeling at our best we tend to sit in those types of feelings a little longer. We actual may begin to think that the feeling will never go away and our life is over or we must remain in bed with the covers over our head as this may the only option for us to survive. Ever feel like that?
And of course it is at precisely these times in our lives that we cannot see beyond what we are feeling. Yes, for sure the feelings are real and you are not going out of your mind or in some strange way different to the rest of us. The thing is that many will never own up to being in such a state of being down or feeling horrible and so it is not common place conversation where we can all identify and relate with one another and “normalise” the whole experience of feeling down.
It is part of the funny way we humans go about our business, well funny maybe not so comedic in actual fact, perhaps weird could be a better way to describe the human behaviour I am talking about.
The bottom line here is that when we begin to understand that we are not the only person in the world to feel this way, it does slightly lift some of the burden for us.
To “NORMALISE” feelings for ourselves can be a difficult thing for any of us to do. This is why I mention above that we must pay attention to the fact that feelings will come from what might seem nowhere at all and then the key point of focus is that they can change rapidly for us too. Meaning of course that the horrible down or nasty feeling will leave also, hence the do come along and they do GO AWAY.
You might hear some fancy buzz words about “dealing” with your feelings or “process” what you feel in order to help the feeling subside and move on. And of course for these reasons when we feel like shit it can be the most foreign idea to us to even begin to think about processing anything. Why so?
Because we feel so crap that we do not want to do anything, we do not wish to engage or interact with people and we definitely do not wish to hear upbeat nonsense or positivity from anybody. We want to sit and wallow in our downward state of mind and tell the whole world to “Leave me ALONE”.
Do we really wish to be alone though?
Many times we do not wish to be alone, we think we want to be left alone and suffer our own misery when in actual fact we ask to be left alone to help us wallow and then sit in our negativity a little while longer. If we allow a new form of opinion or stimulus from another person we might begin to slip out of our downward state and at the time it feels like we would rather sit and stew in it. Much like how the negativity spiral works really and then one negative thought after another can lead us in to all kinds of depressive states of mind.
I share this post on my blog so that all and any person can stop by for a read while you are stewing in your feelings to bring about the possibility for you that 1. You are not alone at all & 2. That feelings come and GO.
Oh yeah I have already said that a few times above, perhaps I already know that I did and it is important to repeat it a few times so that the message can sink in for you. What can bring about a change for us and how do we move away from our negative experience of feeling down or depressed or upset with the world?
By increasing the stimulus around us.
When we are down and want to really stay in our down place, we tend to remove all possibilities of perking up. We may close the door, shut off the lights and again we may pull the covers over our heads. We want nothing more than total blackout from the world and nobody to bother us. We want silence and we want to be miserable all by ourselves. Whoop de doop on that one because these are the things we know inside of ourselves that will feed the down feeling inside of us and we wish to feed because we wish to remain stuck in our feeling of horrible. The choices we might make when we are speaking inside of our mind in these times could be the trifecta for keeping us stuck, “I hate my life” – “I can’t do it” – “This is too much for me” – “I will never blah blah”.
The list is endless of things we might say to ourselves to maintain a miserable feeling for a while.
So how do we not isolate and speak poorly to ourselves? How do we begin to lift the grey cloud from around our own heads?
We flip the script. Yup that is how simple and easy it is. We turn our mind around to the other side and we begin to say some slightly more positive things to ourselves.
I hear you say (I don’t want positive, I don’t want nice, I don’t want blah blah blah”). If this were really true then you would not be down or miserable in any way, you would be content because you would have all that you want and none of what you do not want.
You would have all the isolation that you want and so would have no hurt or horrible feeling of feeling alone, which means you would be happy about it. I do understand that some of you out there are most content when alone. I also understand that some of you out there are always seeking and wish to create whatever feeling you have been most comfortable in for your entire life and so when you are asking yourself what can I do to not feel like shit so often, perhaps the real question is why is it that I seek the comfort in feeling shitty? What is it in my own life that brings me back to somewhere that I think I do not want to be?
Only to find out that you have a history of it and it may have been your most familiar as you grew up in the world and you spent years upon years in your adult life recreating it over and over again. We might leave that concept for another day though.
The post today is about how can we become okay in our day and help ourselves to know this for like a fact. The best way to consider these things is to understand that we are not alone and that other people experience the same, they just do not speak on it all of the time. Another key factor is understanding that the feeling will GO away too.
5 simple tricks to tell ourselves to change ourselves from having a shitty day to becoming okay inside of ourselves.
1. I am not the only person to ever feel like this. And I will be okay during this.
2. Feelings come and they go and I am not stuck here forever. It will pass.
3. More stimulation will help my head become occupied with other thoughts.
4. Alone and isolated is not what I really want. I WILL call my friend.
5. I have the power over me to change this day IF I REALLY WANT TO.
We all go through varying degrees of not feeling okay and that is why it is totally understandable and everybody who has had these days can tell you they were some of the most horrible they ever experienced and some will tell you they have them regularly.
We do not ever remain happy all of the time and we move from one feeling to another quite often. It would be quite exhausting to be upbeat and “on” all of the time and so our feelings do serve us well to keep changing depending on the environment we surround ourselves in or the people we spend time with and of course how we talk to ourselves too.
We can help our feelings change from time to time by bringing ourselves to places we like. Many people begin to sit in nature and allow an appreciation for all living things to grow inside of themselves and then this can turn in to real appreciation for our own life.
We do have real friends out there who understand and they are willing to help carry us through the nasty days and are willing to be an ear and listen to help us through. All we have to do is call them up and say, “Hey I am not doing so good today, can you chat for a while?”
Self talk is so important and the most powerful tool to help us shake off that feeling. What we tell ourselves is really what sticks inside of our mind. It is the beauty in showing us how we do have the real power over ourselves. We possess the ability to breathe and calm ourselves down and talk nice to self. It is this that gives us great power over anything in our life. We can change our situation by focusing on and telling ourselves to see things clearly and how we do not need to bow down or give in to a feeling of where we might feel stuck. We have the ability to take control of our on life and make choices and decisions for ourselves to better how we feel. That there is a massive piece of info because we have the power to do these things and all we need is a willingness to want to bring about a change. Remembering of course the old saying “A change is as good as a rest”.
I do get it though and I do know how hard it can feel to be going through anything that seems difficult. I am writing this here to offer a snippet of encouragement and a helping hand to you as I have had many days of down and miserable myself. I have developed my own strategies and do understand they may not work for every individual also.
I remember always that there is no single thought or no single feeling that occurs in my love that will consume me out of existence and therefore I go through them all, both good and bad confident in one simple factor. My feelings will come and THEY WILL GO.
Being okay lies directly behind the feeling not so okay and this has worked every single time. Tried and tested method so to speak.
This is why I sign off confidently with
You WILL be OK! OKAY?
@TWOsonsTOOmany
It can be hard to feel okay on a daily basis and sometimes there does not have to be any significant dramatic event to bring about any such type of feelings. Feelings are just like that, they come and they go.
I guess we could repeat that very important piece, “They come and They GO”. Why bother repeating it? Because the highlighted portion is that the same feelings do come along from time to time and the important piece to know is that will also go away and make room for other feelings also.
When we find ourselves under the weather so to speak or not feeling at our best we tend to sit in those types of feelings a little longer. We actual may begin to think that the feeling will never go away and our life is over or we must remain in bed with the covers over our head as this may the only option for us to survive. Ever feel like that?
And of course it is at precisely these times in our lives that we cannot see beyond what we are feeling. Yes, for sure the feelings are real and you are not going out of your mind or in some strange way different to the rest of us. The thing is that many will never own up to being in such a state of being down or feeling horrible and so it is not common place conversation where we can all identify and relate with one another and “normalise” the whole experience of feeling down.
It is part of the funny way we humans go about our business, well funny maybe not so comedic in actual fact, perhaps weird could be a better way to describe the human behaviour I am talking about.
The bottom line here is that when we begin to understand that we are not the only person in the world to feel this way, it does slightly lift some of the burden for us.
To “NORMALISE” feelings for ourselves can be a difficult thing for any of us to do. This is why I mention above that we must pay attention to the fact that feelings will come from what might seem nowhere at all and then the key point of focus is that they can change rapidly for us too. Meaning of course that the horrible down or nasty feeling will leave also, hence the do come along and they do GO AWAY.
You might hear some fancy buzz words about “dealing” with your feelings or “process” what you feel in order to help the feeling subside and move on. And of course for these reasons when we feel like shit it can be the most foreign idea to us to even begin to think about processing anything. Why so?
Because we feel so crap that we do not want to do anything, we do not wish to engage or interact with people and we definitely do not wish to hear upbeat nonsense or positivity from anybody. We want to sit and wallow in our downward state of mind and tell the whole world to “Leave me ALONE”.
Do we really wish to be alone though?
Many times we do not wish to be alone, we think we want to be left alone and suffer our own misery when in actual fact we ask to be left alone to help us wallow and then sit in our negativity a little while longer. If we allow a new form of opinion or stimulus from another person we might begin to slip out of our downward state and at the time it feels like we would rather sit and stew in it. Much like how the negativity spiral works really and then one negative thought after another can lead us in to all kinds of depressive states of mind.
I share this post on my blog so that all and any person can stop by for a read while you are stewing in your feelings to bring about the possibility for you that 1. You are not alone at all & 2. That feelings come and GO.
Oh yeah I have already said that a few times above, perhaps I already know that I did and it is important to repeat it a few times so that the message can sink in for you. What can bring about a change for us and how do we move away from our negative experience of feeling down or depressed or upset with the world?
By increasing the stimulus around us.
When we are down and want to really stay in our down place, we tend to remove all possibilities of perking up. We may close the door, shut off the lights and again we may pull the covers over our heads. We want nothing more than total blackout from the world and nobody to bother us. We want silence and we want to be miserable all by ourselves. Whoop de doop on that one because these are the things we know inside of ourselves that will feed the down feeling inside of us and we wish to feed because we wish to remain stuck in our feeling of horrible. The choices we might make when we are speaking inside of our mind in these times could be the trifecta for keeping us stuck, “I hate my life” – “I can’t do it” – “This is too much for me” – “I will never blah blah”.
The list is endless of things we might say to ourselves to maintain a miserable feeling for a while.
So how do we not isolate and speak poorly to ourselves? How do we begin to lift the grey cloud from around our own heads?
We flip the script. Yup that is how simple and easy it is. We turn our mind around to the other side and we begin to say some slightly more positive things to ourselves.
I hear you say (I don’t want positive, I don’t want nice, I don’t want blah blah blah”). If this were really true then you would not be down or miserable in any way, you would be content because you would have all that you want and none of what you do not want.
You would have all the isolation that you want and so would have no hurt or horrible feeling of feeling alone, which means you would be happy about it. I do understand that some of you out there are most content when alone. I also understand that some of you out there are always seeking and wish to create whatever feeling you have been most comfortable in for your entire life and so when you are asking yourself what can I do to not feel like shit so often, perhaps the real question is why is it that I seek the comfort in feeling shitty? What is it in my own life that brings me back to somewhere that I think I do not want to be?
Only to find out that you have a history of it and it may have been your most familiar as you grew up in the world and you spent years upon years in your adult life recreating it over and over again. We might leave that concept for another day though.
The post today is about how can we become okay in our day and help ourselves to know this for like a fact. The best way to consider these things is to understand that we are not alone and that other people experience the same, they just do not speak on it all of the time. Another key factor is understanding that the feeling will GO away too.
5 simple tricks to tell ourselves to change ourselves from having a shitty day to becoming okay inside of ourselves.
1. I am not the only person to ever feel like this. And I will be okay during this.
2. Feelings come and they go and I am not stuck here forever. It will pass.
3. More stimulation will help my head become occupied with other thoughts.
4. Alone and isolated is not what I really want. I WILL call my friend.
5. I have the power over me to change this day IF I REALLY WANT TO.
We all go through varying degrees of not feeling okay and that is why it is totally understandable and everybody who has had these days can tell you they were some of the most horrible they ever experienced and some will tell you they have them regularly.
We do not ever remain happy all of the time and we move from one feeling to another quite often. It would be quite exhausting to be upbeat and “on” all of the time and so our feelings do serve us well to keep changing depending on the environment we surround ourselves in or the people we spend time with and of course how we talk to ourselves too.
We can help our feelings change from time to time by bringing ourselves to places we like. Many people begin to sit in nature and allow an appreciation for all living things to grow inside of themselves and then this can turn in to real appreciation for our own life.
We do have real friends out there who understand and they are willing to help carry us through the nasty days and are willing to be an ear and listen to help us through. All we have to do is call them up and say, “Hey I am not doing so good today, can you chat for a while?”
Self talk is so important and the most powerful tool to help us shake off that feeling. What we tell ourselves is really what sticks inside of our mind. It is the beauty in showing us how we do have the real power over ourselves. We possess the ability to breathe and calm ourselves down and talk nice to self. It is this that gives us great power over anything in our life. We can change our situation by focusing on and telling ourselves to see things clearly and how we do not need to bow down or give in to a feeling of where we might feel stuck. We have the ability to take control of our on life and make choices and decisions for ourselves to better how we feel. That there is a massive piece of info because we have the power to do these things and all we need is a willingness to want to bring about a change. Remembering of course the old saying “A change is as good as a rest”.
I do get it though and I do know how hard it can feel to be going through anything that seems difficult. I am writing this here to offer a snippet of encouragement and a helping hand to you as I have had many days of down and miserable myself. I have developed my own strategies and do understand they may not work for every individual also.
I remember always that there is no single thought or no single feeling that occurs in my love that will consume me out of existence and therefore I go through them all, both good and bad confident in one simple factor. My feelings will come and THEY WILL GO.
Being okay lies directly behind the feeling not so okay and this has worked every single time. Tried and tested method so to speak.
This is why I sign off confidently with
You WILL be OK! OKAY?
@TWOsonsTOOmany
September 1, 2023
THE WEEKEND – Plan, Chill, Enjoy?
THE WEEKEND – Plan, Chill, Enjoy?
Yup indeed, it rolls around time and time again; “The Weekend”
It is obvious right? So what is the difference between a Tuesday and a Saturday?
The timeline of a J-O-B could have something to do with it, you work a job Monday to Friday perhaps and the weekend means a couple of days where you get to unwind and relax.
SINGLE
The Saturday of yours would be much different if this is your situation of course. A day doing some laundry and a bit of a market day to then settle in at home with a nice thought out meal and loads of time to cook it for yourself and then a movie to fall asleep to. Sweet dreams on your Saturday of chill.
The Saturday where you get to wake up late and have that mid morning breakfast, eggs how you like them and a lazy brunch session. Then it is all about the glad rags and off out with friends. Tapas bar and taxi rides to a few too many beverages and who cares that it is 2 am when you collapse in the hay, it’s Saturday after all and Sunday is a whole day of recuperation
The Saturday where you wake up early anyway (routine and all that) and you get to have a slow coffee with a book to read. A day to yourself visiting the city coffee shops and museums. An open air market for a stroll around. Laundry on Sunday and a dinner date with a friend. Home early and ready for Monday all over again.
MARRIED
What about the family and the kids though?
Saturday and they have no school and you want to make activities for everybody for the day. A ton of clothes to be washed and mouths to be fed. Running here and there like a taxi with drop offs and pick ups. Is there a baby sitter available for your night out getting “hammered” with friends? Hair done and the one de-stressing evening you get each week? Sunday family roast meal and all in bed early for school on Monday.
Some work in the shed on a DIY project with your son to help. Wash the car perhaps and teach him what little chores are all about. Is it traditional to have the “swim in the bath” on Saturday nights? Bath night used to be designated to Saturday back in my time and then pyjamas and a kiddie movie on the one night a week when we were allowed to stay up a little later.
THINKING BACK
When I reflect back on weekends I recall how it was fun time. No serious school work to be bothered about and Friday nights were easy going and Saturday was full of all the fun stuff. Soccer to be played and maybe help my dad with a project. There were other Saturdays where I had swimming to go to in the mornings and piano lessons after lunch (they were a drag) There were many a Saturday night where I did enjoy a bath too. I call myself a traditionalist and still honour Saturday as “bath night” to this day lol.
I did the going out and nightlife stuff too a little later on and the Saturday night out usually a meal and some club somewhere. Always easier to get a table booked for a Friday night over a Saturday night though. Goes to show you how Saturday night brings more and more people “out out” as they say.
Sunday was a day I remember being a lazy day usually. Late home cooked breakfast and the afternoon to relax with the feet up. No more meal cooking on a Sunday because of the devoted time to no work and all rest.
I wonder who will comment and share what the weekend means to you?
Friday; chill evening?
Saturday; activities day?
Sunday; lazy day?
Is your time all routine now and you repeat the weeks and the weekends over and over Do you find it hard to fill up the free time weekends offer you? Maybe you never have any free time at all?
Is Saturday night the b-all end-all of the entire week? And if so, why is it any different to Tuesday night?
I guess a rock star has their Saturday night as the high point of the week. The big gig night and their most important work night of the week. Just as the person who works at the cinema has their busiest night on Saturday too. The waitress too for that matter. Professional athletes have “Game Day” at the weekends and so spectators have that in their plans to go and watch right?
Who else I wonder has their busier time at the weekend compared to their midweek.
We look forward to the weekends and then we also hear people say they dread Monday.
I wonder these things and present the concept of making every day count no matter the name of the day. Our life is a one time around trip and even though the saying does exist “Failing to plan is planning to fail”
So I guess a planned weekend is a good weekend.
Now that you have imagined all that I have mentioned above and have read down this far perhaps you can press the little like button. And of course you can find some reading material in the link that I have highlighted. It is a link to books that I have written, I simply ask you to stop by and check them out. You may have just stumbled upon your next “weekend read” book and can plan next weekend for enjoying the reading days that Saturday and Sunday offer you. Allow the full weekend because you will be struggling to put the books down and do anything else lol.
Have a great day, whatever it is named.
Yup indeed, it rolls around time and time again; “The Weekend”
It is obvious right? So what is the difference between a Tuesday and a Saturday?
The timeline of a J-O-B could have something to do with it, you work a job Monday to Friday perhaps and the weekend means a couple of days where you get to unwind and relax.
SINGLE
The Saturday of yours would be much different if this is your situation of course. A day doing some laundry and a bit of a market day to then settle in at home with a nice thought out meal and loads of time to cook it for yourself and then a movie to fall asleep to. Sweet dreams on your Saturday of chill.
The Saturday where you get to wake up late and have that mid morning breakfast, eggs how you like them and a lazy brunch session. Then it is all about the glad rags and off out with friends. Tapas bar and taxi rides to a few too many beverages and who cares that it is 2 am when you collapse in the hay, it’s Saturday after all and Sunday is a whole day of recuperation
The Saturday where you wake up early anyway (routine and all that) and you get to have a slow coffee with a book to read. A day to yourself visiting the city coffee shops and museums. An open air market for a stroll around. Laundry on Sunday and a dinner date with a friend. Home early and ready for Monday all over again.
MARRIED
What about the family and the kids though?
Saturday and they have no school and you want to make activities for everybody for the day. A ton of clothes to be washed and mouths to be fed. Running here and there like a taxi with drop offs and pick ups. Is there a baby sitter available for your night out getting “hammered” with friends? Hair done and the one de-stressing evening you get each week? Sunday family roast meal and all in bed early for school on Monday.
Some work in the shed on a DIY project with your son to help. Wash the car perhaps and teach him what little chores are all about. Is it traditional to have the “swim in the bath” on Saturday nights? Bath night used to be designated to Saturday back in my time and then pyjamas and a kiddie movie on the one night a week when we were allowed to stay up a little later.
THINKING BACK
When I reflect back on weekends I recall how it was fun time. No serious school work to be bothered about and Friday nights were easy going and Saturday was full of all the fun stuff. Soccer to be played and maybe help my dad with a project. There were other Saturdays where I had swimming to go to in the mornings and piano lessons after lunch (they were a drag) There were many a Saturday night where I did enjoy a bath too. I call myself a traditionalist and still honour Saturday as “bath night” to this day lol.
I did the going out and nightlife stuff too a little later on and the Saturday night out usually a meal and some club somewhere. Always easier to get a table booked for a Friday night over a Saturday night though. Goes to show you how Saturday night brings more and more people “out out” as they say.
Sunday was a day I remember being a lazy day usually. Late home cooked breakfast and the afternoon to relax with the feet up. No more meal cooking on a Sunday because of the devoted time to no work and all rest.
I wonder who will comment and share what the weekend means to you?
Friday; chill evening?
Saturday; activities day?
Sunday; lazy day?
Is your time all routine now and you repeat the weeks and the weekends over and over Do you find it hard to fill up the free time weekends offer you? Maybe you never have any free time at all?
Is Saturday night the b-all end-all of the entire week? And if so, why is it any different to Tuesday night?
I guess a rock star has their Saturday night as the high point of the week. The big gig night and their most important work night of the week. Just as the person who works at the cinema has their busiest night on Saturday too. The waitress too for that matter. Professional athletes have “Game Day” at the weekends and so spectators have that in their plans to go and watch right?
Who else I wonder has their busier time at the weekend compared to their midweek.
We look forward to the weekends and then we also hear people say they dread Monday.
I wonder these things and present the concept of making every day count no matter the name of the day. Our life is a one time around trip and even though the saying does exist “Failing to plan is planning to fail”
So I guess a planned weekend is a good weekend.
Now that you have imagined all that I have mentioned above and have read down this far perhaps you can press the little like button. And of course you can find some reading material in the link that I have highlighted. It is a link to books that I have written, I simply ask you to stop by and check them out. You may have just stumbled upon your next “weekend read” book and can plan next weekend for enjoying the reading days that Saturday and Sunday offer you. Allow the full weekend because you will be struggling to put the books down and do anything else lol.
Have a great day, whatever it is named.
August 15, 2023
What is your TIME worth?
It is not everyday I write and it is not everyday that I read, here there and other days I get knee deep in both. Why today over any other day? Basically as random thoughts enter my mind I write them out and some may form the main chapters I will build a book around and other days I will formulate a blog post like today.
My recent event included a funeral of a close friend, a friend who I have known the best part of all of my life, a friend who I did not need to know what they were doing each and everyday of their lives though a friend who when we got together we did catch up in a matter of a few minutes with a glance and a grunt or a few short words and then we were all caught up. We didn’t need to go in to things as we have known each other since childhood. That kind of a friend, perhaps you have some of them too.
Ah yes his death and the recent funeral.
As he has been laid to his final rest this past weekend it is only my perspective that I can deliver to you today. I can guess at how he might have been feeling over his past 6 months or so based upon how we had received a diagnosis involving cancer for him 6 months prior to today, almost 6 months to day.
We headed off to go visit his clinic to attend his doctor’s appointment. He didn’t drive so I had arranged with him to go with him for the doctor’s visit that morning. We made our way and were on time and found a lucky parking space right in front of the hospital where we needed to be. I said to him
“I will wait here until you come out and there is no need to rush or anything, I will be right here”.
To which he replied “Ah no man, I am not sure of my way around the hospital, come in with me in case I get lost”.
It was early enough that morning I think his appointment was for 10.15 am and I thought I would just close one eye and chill out and wait for him. Upon hearing his concern for getting lost, I thought of how he made a good point about it and there was a good chance he could get lost. I agreed to go in with him.
I got the necessary pay and display ticket and went into the hospital with him to find the clinic he was to attend and we met with the secretary and she told us where to sit and wait to be called.
He turned to me and said “When they call me you have to come in with me because I won’t understand what they are saying. You know me; I am not good with fancy words”.
I replied “Ah man this is your personal doctor visit and I will be right here waiting for you. If they get confusing you can ask them to explain to me after or something but I am not going in”.
The doctor came a called him and he grabbed my elbow to raise me up from my seat as he was getting up to go in, saying “come on man, I need you with me”.
Reluctantly though feeling very much on the spot I got up and walked into the doctor’s office with him.
With a few simple introductions of whom is who, two people in the office a doctor and a nurse were introduced to us and we made known to them why I was there too. And without very much hesitation the doctor proceeded with,
“We can confirm our suspicions and confirm that you have cancer”
That is what the doctor said and the remainder of our visit with him were the details of how the treatment process will work and what is now required of my friend going forward from that day.
We drove away from the hospital with a bit of a silence between us and then I decided to pull the car in off the road before we hit the motorway home. I said “What do you want to do now? And who do you want to call first?” We called his next of kin; his sister who I could hear was beginning to shake in her voice after we told her the news. I asked again where he wished to go and what did he want to do and he said “let’s just go home and think about this for a while”.
Off we went.
In our journey home we discussed the matter and all kinds of possibilities and he told me thanks for coming in with him today that it meant a lot and helped him. He said “It softened the blow by you being there today, thanks for that”. I knew it was serious and a big ordeal for him and it was a surreal experience for me to sit in a meeting with a doctor and listen to a cancer diagnosis being given to be honest. My friend asked me would I help him through this cancer treatment and care for him if it gets messy and I agreed by telling him, I will be here and whatever we need to get done we will tackle it. Don’t be worrying and I encouraged him to get ready to begin a real fight and we can talk more as the process of treatment begins like the doctor had mentioned. Because of our route home I figured it was a good idea to visit with his other sister and tell her the news also as it was on our way home. When we got to his sister's house we told her and she was in shock though their other sister had already told her via speed dial I can imagine and a knock on the door came while we were visiting with her and it was another sister. We left shortly after and I told him it is best now that all of your sisters know and I reiterated that it is going to take fight and strength and he agreed compounding my words with “I am going to fight harder than I have ever fought anything before, mark my words”.
Six months was the battle and yes I did offer you the spoiler alert earlier on as we did indeed bury him this past weekend. Through the six months of his therapies and medicines, I kept true to my word that I would be there for him and he kept true to his that he was fighting and following along whatever the doctors and nurses had said for him to do. For six months we have sat and listened to music passing the days and evenings and for six months we have been closer than ever before. He knew if he wanted to go somewhere or needed something all he had to do was call me up and I would respond with a “yes in five minutes” or I will be there in thirty minutes or whatever it was. Other times it was only a matter of sitting in his room while he fell in and out of sleep because of being tired after a chemotherapy session. He would call me up and say things like “Are you dropping down for dinner?” or “Do you want to come down for breakfast?” Sometimes I showed up because I felt he just didn’t want to be alone and other times he wanted to discuss the treatment and then other times he wanted to go through the Alexa thing and listen to hours upon hours of music from our childhood days.
There were days it was not about food nor about music, there were days I felt it was important to just be present and sit in silence and for nothing else, allow him know that somebody cared enough to pass time and be in his space with him.
Did this bring him strength? I do not know. Did this help in any way? I do not know.
For six months we did an everyday thing and when he wanted to do something we made it happen. When he did not feel up to doing anything, well then we simply did nothing. I could not give him new lungs and new organs or new voice box; the voice box was where the cancer began. When it came time I could not give him new bones either.
All I could do was be there for him in a capacity that I could be and that was to pass through time with him. To be a familiar everyday face for him and for him to know that his buddy was with him. A couple of chats on the phone each day and a few visits and plenty of cups of tea. That is what it took, TIME that is all I had to offer. Did it do him any good in the bigger scheme of things? Who really knows for sure? What I am aware of and what I believe in is that no matter what any persons says, does or thinks, I placed what I had on the line and that was time. What he had to place on the line was his life.
Things became worse for him through the few months and he was hospitalised eventually and the downhill spiral had begun. I presented myself as often as I could and he appreciated it. He would explain to me what the nurses and doctors were saying each morning and then ask me what does all of that actually mean? Many times I would let him know I would have to Google those things because things are beginning to sound too technical now and I am not sure. I knew they were not good signs and I did not want to worry him anymore, so in some of the instances I told him some versions of what we might call white lies. The hospital visits were coordinated with his family and so all were taking turns to pass through time and spend visiting hours with him. In many times in our lives there will be nothing more that we can do except share ourselves by sharing time with someone. If cancer had have been a person he would have strangled it with both hands, funny thing that he had a pair of hands that could choke an elephant literally, so to choke cancer would have been a great thing to watch him do. Nobody wants to die and definitely not at any kind of young age either. He fought it hard relying on his own attributes his own physical strength. Coupled with medicines he began to go down in his weight and the pain was not stopping. The spread of cancer was happening for him and there was nothing any of us could do for him. Annoy him with smart comments, piss him off with too much care and walk away and leave him in the hospital each evening because he was too ill to come home with us. Then came the more harsh suffering for him and when we listen to a friend when they are angry or upset because nothing seems to be taking away the pain, it can be a hard thing to do though we are not the ones in the pain, yet we can feel it too.
Then the end starts coming closer and it is ugly and disgusting to witness. Skinnier and less aware of what is going on and still whispering that he feels pain. We shared these times too and we acknowledged what we had meant to each other and we sat with some music, some more laughs at old stories and we sat passing time together.
The following became a wake and a funeral, these are things I promised myself I would not attend anymore in life though with him it felt like a true friend had been lost and who am I not to show respect and honour him? Every piece of him being brought home and laid out for a wake and his funeral mass ceremony were beautiful. The music and singing were breath taking and his graveside prayers followed with song over a speaker were moving too. What he deserved, a beautiful day with the sun shinning.
I share the experiences of the past six months with you in brief to shed some light on what it might mean in your own day to day living to be there for somebody. To share time in their space where they may be at. This is not about me and my friend being super close or having a bond from our youth. This is about what I believe the world ought to be like. People being there for people. How does anybody cope with anything if it is not for the helping hand of friends? Friendships that come and go and what does it mean to share time with someone in your life or not even in your life, somebody who needs the gift of time. I know now that all of my friend’s family wish for more time, why so? Because we never have enough of it to do all the things we want to do and we need to wake up and realize that there is a limited amount of it that we have been given and that we will also expire some day too. When they say things like “life is short” listen carefully and understand what it means. My friend was still making plans from his hospital bed, he had not given up and so for as long as he was not giving up then I was not willing to give up on him either.
This blog post is again about my random thoughts and to share with you some of my recent experiences to shed light, to bring up the topic of conversation of what are we really doing here? What are the tiny little things that we CAN do for another human being to make the journey a teeny bit easier? I can go about life doing all for myself and nobody else and I can go about wanting to be there for everybody possibly to buy my way in to heaven as they say (lol) I know this is not my agenda, I know I have no agenda. I simply see things like this; if I can do something today for another person then do it! If I cannot do something for another person then I will not do it.
I was not too busy to pass time with my friend who was on a faster path to death than me. I saw it like this, here is something I CAN do and it may mean so much more to him than it does me so WHY NOT?
I ask you do you ever consider others in this way and do you think that you have it inside of you to begin to see that life is so short that if you blink you might miss it. Slow down and take some time with your friends and family. Slow down and see that there is so much to be gained by doing nothing. Pass through time together and be there for someone because we will all come to the end eventually. This human race is not called race because there is a prize for being first or finishing ahead of everybody. The finish will come whether you rush it or not, therefore take some time and slow down and see what it is to be human first and then get involved with the “Rat Race”.
Get involved with others who might need some of your time and do not think that any piece of any day is in any way, shape or form a waste of time.
I am glad to have had the opportunity to spend time with my friend.
My recent event included a funeral of a close friend, a friend who I have known the best part of all of my life, a friend who I did not need to know what they were doing each and everyday of their lives though a friend who when we got together we did catch up in a matter of a few minutes with a glance and a grunt or a few short words and then we were all caught up. We didn’t need to go in to things as we have known each other since childhood. That kind of a friend, perhaps you have some of them too.
Ah yes his death and the recent funeral.
As he has been laid to his final rest this past weekend it is only my perspective that I can deliver to you today. I can guess at how he might have been feeling over his past 6 months or so based upon how we had received a diagnosis involving cancer for him 6 months prior to today, almost 6 months to day.
We headed off to go visit his clinic to attend his doctor’s appointment. He didn’t drive so I had arranged with him to go with him for the doctor’s visit that morning. We made our way and were on time and found a lucky parking space right in front of the hospital where we needed to be. I said to him
“I will wait here until you come out and there is no need to rush or anything, I will be right here”.
To which he replied “Ah no man, I am not sure of my way around the hospital, come in with me in case I get lost”.
It was early enough that morning I think his appointment was for 10.15 am and I thought I would just close one eye and chill out and wait for him. Upon hearing his concern for getting lost, I thought of how he made a good point about it and there was a good chance he could get lost. I agreed to go in with him.
I got the necessary pay and display ticket and went into the hospital with him to find the clinic he was to attend and we met with the secretary and she told us where to sit and wait to be called.
He turned to me and said “When they call me you have to come in with me because I won’t understand what they are saying. You know me; I am not good with fancy words”.
I replied “Ah man this is your personal doctor visit and I will be right here waiting for you. If they get confusing you can ask them to explain to me after or something but I am not going in”.
The doctor came a called him and he grabbed my elbow to raise me up from my seat as he was getting up to go in, saying “come on man, I need you with me”.
Reluctantly though feeling very much on the spot I got up and walked into the doctor’s office with him.
With a few simple introductions of whom is who, two people in the office a doctor and a nurse were introduced to us and we made known to them why I was there too. And without very much hesitation the doctor proceeded with,
“We can confirm our suspicions and confirm that you have cancer”
That is what the doctor said and the remainder of our visit with him were the details of how the treatment process will work and what is now required of my friend going forward from that day.
We drove away from the hospital with a bit of a silence between us and then I decided to pull the car in off the road before we hit the motorway home. I said “What do you want to do now? And who do you want to call first?” We called his next of kin; his sister who I could hear was beginning to shake in her voice after we told her the news. I asked again where he wished to go and what did he want to do and he said “let’s just go home and think about this for a while”.
Off we went.
In our journey home we discussed the matter and all kinds of possibilities and he told me thanks for coming in with him today that it meant a lot and helped him. He said “It softened the blow by you being there today, thanks for that”. I knew it was serious and a big ordeal for him and it was a surreal experience for me to sit in a meeting with a doctor and listen to a cancer diagnosis being given to be honest. My friend asked me would I help him through this cancer treatment and care for him if it gets messy and I agreed by telling him, I will be here and whatever we need to get done we will tackle it. Don’t be worrying and I encouraged him to get ready to begin a real fight and we can talk more as the process of treatment begins like the doctor had mentioned. Because of our route home I figured it was a good idea to visit with his other sister and tell her the news also as it was on our way home. When we got to his sister's house we told her and she was in shock though their other sister had already told her via speed dial I can imagine and a knock on the door came while we were visiting with her and it was another sister. We left shortly after and I told him it is best now that all of your sisters know and I reiterated that it is going to take fight and strength and he agreed compounding my words with “I am going to fight harder than I have ever fought anything before, mark my words”.
Six months was the battle and yes I did offer you the spoiler alert earlier on as we did indeed bury him this past weekend. Through the six months of his therapies and medicines, I kept true to my word that I would be there for him and he kept true to his that he was fighting and following along whatever the doctors and nurses had said for him to do. For six months we have sat and listened to music passing the days and evenings and for six months we have been closer than ever before. He knew if he wanted to go somewhere or needed something all he had to do was call me up and I would respond with a “yes in five minutes” or I will be there in thirty minutes or whatever it was. Other times it was only a matter of sitting in his room while he fell in and out of sleep because of being tired after a chemotherapy session. He would call me up and say things like “Are you dropping down for dinner?” or “Do you want to come down for breakfast?” Sometimes I showed up because I felt he just didn’t want to be alone and other times he wanted to discuss the treatment and then other times he wanted to go through the Alexa thing and listen to hours upon hours of music from our childhood days.
There were days it was not about food nor about music, there were days I felt it was important to just be present and sit in silence and for nothing else, allow him know that somebody cared enough to pass time and be in his space with him.
Did this bring him strength? I do not know. Did this help in any way? I do not know.
For six months we did an everyday thing and when he wanted to do something we made it happen. When he did not feel up to doing anything, well then we simply did nothing. I could not give him new lungs and new organs or new voice box; the voice box was where the cancer began. When it came time I could not give him new bones either.
All I could do was be there for him in a capacity that I could be and that was to pass through time with him. To be a familiar everyday face for him and for him to know that his buddy was with him. A couple of chats on the phone each day and a few visits and plenty of cups of tea. That is what it took, TIME that is all I had to offer. Did it do him any good in the bigger scheme of things? Who really knows for sure? What I am aware of and what I believe in is that no matter what any persons says, does or thinks, I placed what I had on the line and that was time. What he had to place on the line was his life.
Things became worse for him through the few months and he was hospitalised eventually and the downhill spiral had begun. I presented myself as often as I could and he appreciated it. He would explain to me what the nurses and doctors were saying each morning and then ask me what does all of that actually mean? Many times I would let him know I would have to Google those things because things are beginning to sound too technical now and I am not sure. I knew they were not good signs and I did not want to worry him anymore, so in some of the instances I told him some versions of what we might call white lies. The hospital visits were coordinated with his family and so all were taking turns to pass through time and spend visiting hours with him. In many times in our lives there will be nothing more that we can do except share ourselves by sharing time with someone. If cancer had have been a person he would have strangled it with both hands, funny thing that he had a pair of hands that could choke an elephant literally, so to choke cancer would have been a great thing to watch him do. Nobody wants to die and definitely not at any kind of young age either. He fought it hard relying on his own attributes his own physical strength. Coupled with medicines he began to go down in his weight and the pain was not stopping. The spread of cancer was happening for him and there was nothing any of us could do for him. Annoy him with smart comments, piss him off with too much care and walk away and leave him in the hospital each evening because he was too ill to come home with us. Then came the more harsh suffering for him and when we listen to a friend when they are angry or upset because nothing seems to be taking away the pain, it can be a hard thing to do though we are not the ones in the pain, yet we can feel it too.
Then the end starts coming closer and it is ugly and disgusting to witness. Skinnier and less aware of what is going on and still whispering that he feels pain. We shared these times too and we acknowledged what we had meant to each other and we sat with some music, some more laughs at old stories and we sat passing time together.
The following became a wake and a funeral, these are things I promised myself I would not attend anymore in life though with him it felt like a true friend had been lost and who am I not to show respect and honour him? Every piece of him being brought home and laid out for a wake and his funeral mass ceremony were beautiful. The music and singing were breath taking and his graveside prayers followed with song over a speaker were moving too. What he deserved, a beautiful day with the sun shinning.
I share the experiences of the past six months with you in brief to shed some light on what it might mean in your own day to day living to be there for somebody. To share time in their space where they may be at. This is not about me and my friend being super close or having a bond from our youth. This is about what I believe the world ought to be like. People being there for people. How does anybody cope with anything if it is not for the helping hand of friends? Friendships that come and go and what does it mean to share time with someone in your life or not even in your life, somebody who needs the gift of time. I know now that all of my friend’s family wish for more time, why so? Because we never have enough of it to do all the things we want to do and we need to wake up and realize that there is a limited amount of it that we have been given and that we will also expire some day too. When they say things like “life is short” listen carefully and understand what it means. My friend was still making plans from his hospital bed, he had not given up and so for as long as he was not giving up then I was not willing to give up on him either.
This blog post is again about my random thoughts and to share with you some of my recent experiences to shed light, to bring up the topic of conversation of what are we really doing here? What are the tiny little things that we CAN do for another human being to make the journey a teeny bit easier? I can go about life doing all for myself and nobody else and I can go about wanting to be there for everybody possibly to buy my way in to heaven as they say (lol) I know this is not my agenda, I know I have no agenda. I simply see things like this; if I can do something today for another person then do it! If I cannot do something for another person then I will not do it.
I was not too busy to pass time with my friend who was on a faster path to death than me. I saw it like this, here is something I CAN do and it may mean so much more to him than it does me so WHY NOT?
I ask you do you ever consider others in this way and do you think that you have it inside of you to begin to see that life is so short that if you blink you might miss it. Slow down and take some time with your friends and family. Slow down and see that there is so much to be gained by doing nothing. Pass through time together and be there for someone because we will all come to the end eventually. This human race is not called race because there is a prize for being first or finishing ahead of everybody. The finish will come whether you rush it or not, therefore take some time and slow down and see what it is to be human first and then get involved with the “Rat Race”.
Get involved with others who might need some of your time and do not think that any piece of any day is in any way, shape or form a waste of time.
I am glad to have had the opportunity to spend time with my friend.
July 10, 2023
Grief is stranger, life even stranger (more strange)
Grief is a leveler, this is something I can speak on til the cows come home, with authority and for all who may have been drawn to this post because of the title, well , YOU KNOW.
What is grief? How is it so powerful of a feeling or process? And what do we do about it?
Here goes my most simple explainer.
When we lose a loved one, we the person who finds themselves grieving, we are left with a void or an emptiness where once there was a person. A person whom we loved. Not always loved in a way like madly or deeply in love though we loved them nonetheless. So when we are faced with a void, an empty chair where once sat our loved one, we still have feelings for them. We miss them, yes this is correct. We have nowhere to direct our feelings of love. They are gone from this world and are no longer around us nor in our lives. So what do we do with all of this love if we do not have the person to direct it at any more?
It is called GRIEF.
Grief being our own love towards another becoming turned inside out, so to speak. A love that does not land and is not challenged or reciprocated. A love that can only stir up in our emotional selves and the.n fall to the floor almost. Like we cannot direct it anywhrre. We do not receive a smile back, we do not receive anything back because the person is no longer with us, gone from this world.
Our love for them, towards them and of them has nowhere to go.
So why does it hurt so much?
You can read my life story called TWO sons TOO many and you will be brought up to speed about me and my life through the memoir mentioned above. In there you will read of how I openly discuss what it has been like to lose two of my sons.
So grieving is this weird feeling of being in love with somebody that is not here. A thought in our mind of how we would like to see that person just for a smile or 5 minutes of their time. Grief is the animal that would make you want to be able to make the world disappear for one day or three. Grief can be that thing that creeps up out of nowhere and brings tears to your eyes leaving you with no explanation at all. Grief can have you angry and resentful towards your loved one for leaving you to deal with all the hurt and pain. Grief can make life and people around you seem strange or bring about a feeling of being a stranger in your own home, your own world.
If you have ever felt any such weird way during your grief or living with your grief, you are not mad or insane. Grief simply does these things and some feelings can come from nowhere based all upon the love you have inside you for the person you have lost.
Then why does it hurt so much?
The hurt we feel in grief is the love we have inside of us for our lost loved one. The more it hurts the more we did love. It may seem unbearable and a hurting pain that may never go away, take comfort in knowing it is true love that brings about such pain. Take comfort in knowing you can feel and have had so much love for that person.
Grief pains because you cared, grief hurts because you loved. I understand that these are no quick fix remedies nor does knowing why we hurt so much make any of it any differemt. I simply post on grief and the extent of pain and love to let any person know that you are not the first and not the only person to have felt like this before, there are many of us who hurt our way through a day or wish for other people around us to understand what it is like. And by the same token it is not our go to conversarion to be explaining ourselves or why we might not feel like doing certain things.
Grief is weird and grief is difficult even at the best of times. Life itself can be strange and we can view people as strange sometimes too. And we do not wish to be feeling so strange amongst the strangers. It is just how grief can be and there is nothing we can do to ease another persons burden of grief. We must make progress in seeing grief as a strong emotiinal love. Can we, will we ever normalise the process so those who have not experienced loss might gain an understanding? The reason for my blog post today is just that.
Let us normalise the process and make a kinder world for those in pain. I guess not only for those who pain with grief, also those who pain and hurt in silence. Can we take a momemt from our day to consider life for another human may not be that strange at all. Perhaps they are a person who is hurt, perhaps they have no words to explain. Perhaps being a human to another human would be a great place to start.
I have no answers, I have no remedy, I simply say, enjoy your life no matter how you feel. In pain, hurt and love. Enjoy them all as we never know when it will be our own last day.
I do not know who needs to read this today, if it is you who needed this read then I am glad you found my blog roday.
July marks a very special for monrh for me in my life and my journey and so a blog post to celebrate.
As always I sign off with,
Like, comment, share where ever you find this post.
What is grief? How is it so powerful of a feeling or process? And what do we do about it?
Here goes my most simple explainer.
When we lose a loved one, we the person who finds themselves grieving, we are left with a void or an emptiness where once there was a person. A person whom we loved. Not always loved in a way like madly or deeply in love though we loved them nonetheless. So when we are faced with a void, an empty chair where once sat our loved one, we still have feelings for them. We miss them, yes this is correct. We have nowhere to direct our feelings of love. They are gone from this world and are no longer around us nor in our lives. So what do we do with all of this love if we do not have the person to direct it at any more?
It is called GRIEF.
Grief being our own love towards another becoming turned inside out, so to speak. A love that does not land and is not challenged or reciprocated. A love that can only stir up in our emotional selves and the.n fall to the floor almost. Like we cannot direct it anywhrre. We do not receive a smile back, we do not receive anything back because the person is no longer with us, gone from this world.
Our love for them, towards them and of them has nowhere to go.
So why does it hurt so much?
You can read my life story called TWO sons TOO many and you will be brought up to speed about me and my life through the memoir mentioned above. In there you will read of how I openly discuss what it has been like to lose two of my sons.
So grieving is this weird feeling of being in love with somebody that is not here. A thought in our mind of how we would like to see that person just for a smile or 5 minutes of their time. Grief is the animal that would make you want to be able to make the world disappear for one day or three. Grief can be that thing that creeps up out of nowhere and brings tears to your eyes leaving you with no explanation at all. Grief can have you angry and resentful towards your loved one for leaving you to deal with all the hurt and pain. Grief can make life and people around you seem strange or bring about a feeling of being a stranger in your own home, your own world.
If you have ever felt any such weird way during your grief or living with your grief, you are not mad or insane. Grief simply does these things and some feelings can come from nowhere based all upon the love you have inside you for the person you have lost.
Then why does it hurt so much?
The hurt we feel in grief is the love we have inside of us for our lost loved one. The more it hurts the more we did love. It may seem unbearable and a hurting pain that may never go away, take comfort in knowing it is true love that brings about such pain. Take comfort in knowing you can feel and have had so much love for that person.
Grief pains because you cared, grief hurts because you loved. I understand that these are no quick fix remedies nor does knowing why we hurt so much make any of it any differemt. I simply post on grief and the extent of pain and love to let any person know that you are not the first and not the only person to have felt like this before, there are many of us who hurt our way through a day or wish for other people around us to understand what it is like. And by the same token it is not our go to conversarion to be explaining ourselves or why we might not feel like doing certain things.
Grief is weird and grief is difficult even at the best of times. Life itself can be strange and we can view people as strange sometimes too. And we do not wish to be feeling so strange amongst the strangers. It is just how grief can be and there is nothing we can do to ease another persons burden of grief. We must make progress in seeing grief as a strong emotiinal love. Can we, will we ever normalise the process so those who have not experienced loss might gain an understanding? The reason for my blog post today is just that.
Let us normalise the process and make a kinder world for those in pain. I guess not only for those who pain with grief, also those who pain and hurt in silence. Can we take a momemt from our day to consider life for another human may not be that strange at all. Perhaps they are a person who is hurt, perhaps they have no words to explain. Perhaps being a human to another human would be a great place to start.
I have no answers, I have no remedy, I simply say, enjoy your life no matter how you feel. In pain, hurt and love. Enjoy them all as we never know when it will be our own last day.
I do not know who needs to read this today, if it is you who needed this read then I am glad you found my blog roday.
July marks a very special for monrh for me in my life and my journey and so a blog post to celebrate.
As always I sign off with,
Like, comment, share where ever you find this post.
May 10, 2023
HAPPY IS NOT FOR SALE – Did you know that?
HAPPY IS NOT FOR SALE – Did you know that?
Why so?
In following on from the “concept” the idea that many will say, right off their tongue – “Money can’t buy you happiness”
Is this true? Or is it just an idea?
It will really depend how your own view of what happy is, wouldn’t it?
Let’s say as an example that I want to have three cars, a weekend SUV (sports utility vehicle). Sports vehicle to carry my surf board, my golf clubs, my hiking gear, my kayak and tent for camping and a few extra supplies. Yeah that is what the sports utility vehicle is for, not just taking up large space on narrow roads or awkward parking spaces. Recreational use type stuff. I want a second car for commuting on a weekly basis and something that is easy to find parking for and is a run of the mill car, 4 door easy to whip around in car. And my third choice is a Sunday drive prestigious model of something or other. Three cars nonetheless. So, I want 3 cars and I have them. I am happy right?
Let’s say I want a house, more than that I want a home and a wife and two point four children and a labradoodle dog. And let’s say that I have them all with me, I am happy right?
Let’s say I want a decent job to pay for all these expenses that I have in my life and let’s just say that I have a cushy number as a job and my salary helps me pay everything and have a little left over for holidays and savings. So I am doing okay and pretty comfortable. I am happy right?
The examples above would apply to an older person, well middle aged at least. How about a younger person or an older person, d they not have wants and desires to make them happy too? Of course they do. So let’s just imagine that whomever you are reading this right now that you have all that you have ever wanted.
Are you happy?
What is happy and does it last?
Money does not buy us happiness because happiness is not for sale. You can buy all the material things you want and still go through a time of unhappy. Makes little or no sense though?
When we begin to understand that our happy is not inside of things and other people, our happy is inside of ourselves. Then we can begin to unlock some of the happy times life will offer us. And these come with no cost, genuine happy is a feeling and an idea, a state of mind and a state of being.
So are you being? Or are you simply human and not the being piece?
Why so many question on the matter anyways?
I find happy in some of the simplest things in life, once upon a time I worked hard in the rat race and enjoyed golf practice in the evenings and started my day with a session surfing (paddling out) we used to call it lol. In those times I was quite happy yes. I still can recall issues would come up and life got difficult at times. I bought the nice cars and thought they were the greatest things ever and was having a blast of a time enjoying everything I could and I found unhappy times right there in the middle of all the money. WOW! Why?
I can recall specifically one day going to purchase a new vehicle and I was buying it with cash. I had a friend drive me to the car shop and I was ready to throw down and buy myself something new and shinny. The car dealership would not take my cash though, yup, they wanted a bank draught or cashiers check or for me to sign up for monthly payments. They said they would have to report the cash purchase to the tax authorities and it would or could become messy. I thought what a mess and I walked out from the dealership. I was walking along the road outside of the dealership with no way home. There were no taxis passing by and I was not in a good area for phone service. Yup, fifty grand in cash in my pocket and walking along the roadside just the same as if I was broke. That day thought me something. Money in my pocket does not matter. I can feel as lonely and shitty as hell whether I have money or not. I was learning a valuable lesson that day. There is no answer by buying things to make me happy. Of course I got home and got a vehicle through another route soon after. I remember how I felt walking on the roadside, I was unhappy!
I also can explain you some of the times I experienced where I would earn good money for certain projects and I was not happy at all. There is no point for me to go on and on about thee kinds of things as I am sure you get the concept, right?
So what is happy? This is a question you gotta ask yourself. Relationships for example, does another person make you happy or are you splitting up with someone because the just don’t make you happy?
To stamp tat one out, no other person has the responsibility to make you happy. That is nonsense. Yes indeed no other people have to be assholes to you or people do not have to be nasty to you of course, basic respect of another human being means we be civil and respectful, right? Though others do not have any responsibility to our happiness. Happiness is a feeling, a state of being so how does another person work their way inside of us and meddle with our emotions and make us unhappy? We allow them to, we become dependent upon them or we keep looking out and we think we are being made happy.
When we realise happy comes from inside of ourselves then we will begin to notice how we can be happy a lot more often and it does not depend on anybody else or any other thing. We do not have to depend on a partner for our happiness; it is upon ourselves if we decide it to be so. We actually make ourselves unhappy more often than not, if truth be told and all that jazz. We fuck it up all by ourselves.
Imagine that!
We do need the approval of others, meaning we dot need to seek out validation or have other people approve of us or to approve of our feelings. Our feelings are ours.
Allow me to be more direct with you, your feelings are yours!
Perhaps a simple exercise will bring it all together a tad simpler. Go to your mirror and stand in front of it and look at yourself. Speak these four sentences to yourself
I make and create my happiness.
I am responsible for my feelings.
Happy is not for, it cannot be bought.
I am worthy of happy in my life.
That right there is a simple daily practice you can add into your life and it is my firm believe you will notice subtle difference occurring in your everyday life. The only way you will know how this work is by giving it a go for a while and see for yourself.
Four sentences above that can help you to change your life. When you figure out that there is no price tag on happy, it is for a reason.
Your dreams will come to you, your possessions will bring comfort and your loved ones will bring to you love. A content life is a happy place especially when we remind ourselves that – HAPPY IS NOT FOR SALE
Why so?
In following on from the “concept” the idea that many will say, right off their tongue – “Money can’t buy you happiness”
Is this true? Or is it just an idea?
It will really depend how your own view of what happy is, wouldn’t it?
Let’s say as an example that I want to have three cars, a weekend SUV (sports utility vehicle). Sports vehicle to carry my surf board, my golf clubs, my hiking gear, my kayak and tent for camping and a few extra supplies. Yeah that is what the sports utility vehicle is for, not just taking up large space on narrow roads or awkward parking spaces. Recreational use type stuff. I want a second car for commuting on a weekly basis and something that is easy to find parking for and is a run of the mill car, 4 door easy to whip around in car. And my third choice is a Sunday drive prestigious model of something or other. Three cars nonetheless. So, I want 3 cars and I have them. I am happy right?
Let’s say I want a house, more than that I want a home and a wife and two point four children and a labradoodle dog. And let’s say that I have them all with me, I am happy right?
Let’s say I want a decent job to pay for all these expenses that I have in my life and let’s just say that I have a cushy number as a job and my salary helps me pay everything and have a little left over for holidays and savings. So I am doing okay and pretty comfortable. I am happy right?
The examples above would apply to an older person, well middle aged at least. How about a younger person or an older person, d they not have wants and desires to make them happy too? Of course they do. So let’s just imagine that whomever you are reading this right now that you have all that you have ever wanted.
Are you happy?
What is happy and does it last?
Money does not buy us happiness because happiness is not for sale. You can buy all the material things you want and still go through a time of unhappy. Makes little or no sense though?
When we begin to understand that our happy is not inside of things and other people, our happy is inside of ourselves. Then we can begin to unlock some of the happy times life will offer us. And these come with no cost, genuine happy is a feeling and an idea, a state of mind and a state of being.
So are you being? Or are you simply human and not the being piece?
Why so many question on the matter anyways?
I find happy in some of the simplest things in life, once upon a time I worked hard in the rat race and enjoyed golf practice in the evenings and started my day with a session surfing (paddling out) we used to call it lol. In those times I was quite happy yes. I still can recall issues would come up and life got difficult at times. I bought the nice cars and thought they were the greatest things ever and was having a blast of a time enjoying everything I could and I found unhappy times right there in the middle of all the money. WOW! Why?
I can recall specifically one day going to purchase a new vehicle and I was buying it with cash. I had a friend drive me to the car shop and I was ready to throw down and buy myself something new and shinny. The car dealership would not take my cash though, yup, they wanted a bank draught or cashiers check or for me to sign up for monthly payments. They said they would have to report the cash purchase to the tax authorities and it would or could become messy. I thought what a mess and I walked out from the dealership. I was walking along the road outside of the dealership with no way home. There were no taxis passing by and I was not in a good area for phone service. Yup, fifty grand in cash in my pocket and walking along the roadside just the same as if I was broke. That day thought me something. Money in my pocket does not matter. I can feel as lonely and shitty as hell whether I have money or not. I was learning a valuable lesson that day. There is no answer by buying things to make me happy. Of course I got home and got a vehicle through another route soon after. I remember how I felt walking on the roadside, I was unhappy!
I also can explain you some of the times I experienced where I would earn good money for certain projects and I was not happy at all. There is no point for me to go on and on about thee kinds of things as I am sure you get the concept, right?
So what is happy? This is a question you gotta ask yourself. Relationships for example, does another person make you happy or are you splitting up with someone because the just don’t make you happy?
To stamp tat one out, no other person has the responsibility to make you happy. That is nonsense. Yes indeed no other people have to be assholes to you or people do not have to be nasty to you of course, basic respect of another human being means we be civil and respectful, right? Though others do not have any responsibility to our happiness. Happiness is a feeling, a state of being so how does another person work their way inside of us and meddle with our emotions and make us unhappy? We allow them to, we become dependent upon them or we keep looking out and we think we are being made happy.
When we realise happy comes from inside of ourselves then we will begin to notice how we can be happy a lot more often and it does not depend on anybody else or any other thing. We do not have to depend on a partner for our happiness; it is upon ourselves if we decide it to be so. We actually make ourselves unhappy more often than not, if truth be told and all that jazz. We fuck it up all by ourselves.
Imagine that!
We do need the approval of others, meaning we dot need to seek out validation or have other people approve of us or to approve of our feelings. Our feelings are ours.
Allow me to be more direct with you, your feelings are yours!
Perhaps a simple exercise will bring it all together a tad simpler. Go to your mirror and stand in front of it and look at yourself. Speak these four sentences to yourself
I make and create my happiness.
I am responsible for my feelings.
Happy is not for, it cannot be bought.
I am worthy of happy in my life.
That right there is a simple daily practice you can add into your life and it is my firm believe you will notice subtle difference occurring in your everyday life. The only way you will know how this work is by giving it a go for a while and see for yourself.
Four sentences above that can help you to change your life. When you figure out that there is no price tag on happy, it is for a reason.
Your dreams will come to you, your possessions will bring comfort and your loved ones will bring to you love. A content life is a happy place especially when we remind ourselves that – HAPPY IS NOT FOR SALE
March 14, 2023
Oh boy oh boy oh girl
Oh boy oh boy oh girl…..
Ever been in love? What a feeling it is to have, to experience and to totally enjoy.
Why even ask the question? Am I asking you or am I asking myself? I rarely use my blog posts to ask myself questions though I do and have quite often aired out my thoughts and feelings from deep inside of myself. Why so? Because, I originally called this blog “Random Thoughts”.
To the point of feeling in love or falling in love or experiencing love, I am certain many of you have enjoyed the bliss it brings with it. I am speaking from a place of what can be called, expanded emotional existence in this life of ours. The expansion came into to play when I went through some very dark years, years where I did not believe in the world or the words people had to say. I call them dark to make a reference term that may be understood more clearly. In reality it has been anything but dark, enlightening beyond words, beyond explanation. The expansion of my emotional self was born out of these times and has not been of my own doing. What I mean by this is that I did not sit down one day and decide to do some meditation and then enlighten myself beyond and to some place of super-hyper emotional well being or anything. I felt dragged downward and I have felt that life was very tough to participate in and to be involved with. I withdrew would be the simple way to explain it.
Why even begin to share some of this with you?
I share with you and put this article out there in the public domain via the world wide interweb to shed light on these things for those who may feel they have lost their own voice or may be scouring the internet for encouragement, inspiration or a simple pick me up. The value in my own story is that there is always something new ahead and there are many times we will not understand what is happening and we will not understand WHY!
To keep it short on the issue of where I found myself at is that I have had the misfortune to sit graveside on two separate occasions and bury my two sons. Darra died of sudden death when he was 15 years of age one night in his sleep. Patrick as a toddler of 1yr and 4 months walked his way into a swimming pool and drowned. For me it was the nightmare of nightmares that would not end. My son’s deaths occurred within 2 yrs and 6 months of each other. So, basically within 3 short years I went from super de duper happy go lucky and fun loving to bitter down in the dumps. It only took the first shock and tragedy to collapse me and then the second whilst making attempts to rebuild myself to floor and shatter what was left of me. These episodes of stretching of my emotional self really did do a number on me and my emotional well being and were two complete wrecking ball whacks to the mental health also.
I write and share some of my personal issues here in my blog to shed some light of where I have been in terms of tragedy. I understand what it is like to question every single ounce of life itself. I am also aware that there are many people out there in our world who find it hard to pick themselves up from where they are and what it is that might, only might be going through their head right now today.
I write to you today about the emotional stretching of how it got really bad for me for some time and then I can sit here and write about what it is to feel love. To enjoy it and to feel what it means to me. The stretching to the left so to speak in times of darkness and grief has also allowed me to experience the heightened greatness of feeling love and beauty on the opposite side to the right, again so to speak.
I know love exists in the world, I can feel it and I can experience it. I feel it from my partner and I feel it from my children, I have experienced it from my family and my friends. I do agree that having been stretched emotionally into a place of grief and bereavement that there is the possibility that I now experience all of my emotions to a deeper or “stretched” type of feeling. Call it level or plateau or whatever you will. The point is that it is possible to overcome our severe tragedies and it is possible to experience the look of love from our partner. The love we see in the eyes of our children. These things are real and can happen for us all. I never did think I would ever smile again in my life back when I was sitting graveside or on a dark night when I sat alone and looked back over pictures of my deceased children. I never thought that I would ever hold my children again and feel love. I never thought that I would sit and hold Patrick’s mom (my partner) and feel love ever again in a peaceful moment. I did not know that my stunningly beautiful daughter would bring so much joy to my heart.
Funny thing about when I post or write about things is that I only feel comfortable to write about that which I have experienced. Can I be convincing to you through a blog post?
I have experienced these feelings of love. I am enjoying and can openly tell you that I never ever thought I could return or go beyond where I am now today. What was holding me back you may ask? I was not ready – good answer. I was holding me back, afraid to feel the nice once again because of fear – good answer. I was and have been preventing myself to be too overwhelmed with emotion because I have seen how hard I can fall when things do not work out – good answer too.
These fears inside of ourselves can prevent us from experiencing and enjoying so much of what life has to offer us. I know only too well what it is to be drowning, to be drowning in sorrow. I know what it is like to struggle to come to terms with something in our lives and I am totally aware of how hard it can be to deal with the reality that can be present in our lives. These are some of the reasons I write about love to you today.
How many of us have ever considered that “All we need is LOVE”?
Imagine for a moment every baby that is born into the world is deserving of love and that they cry for food and to be held. They can be clingy at times (for sure) though all they want and need is a little love. You and me, we all began the same way when we were born, in need of a little love. As we grew we began to understand some false narrative that we didn’t deserve love or we didn’t need it to survive. It is the nicest form of existence that I have ever experienced and I am not in any way ashamed to share this with you. This is not a “Valentines day” post that I forgot to post either. I am simply sharing with you that I am in love and have been for quite a long time and when these feelings are reciprocated and felt back by me through my children’s eyes or my partner’s love, it is how I can share with you that the hard dark times do not last forever. I have walked though the fires of hell and survived, I even more recently been at the point of drowning and very nearly dead and I am here to tell the tale.
What is it that keeps me going?
The new heightened sensitivity that I have been given is allowing me to feel some of the most beautiful of what we have in life. The awareness that comes with being open to receive love is magical and I am certain that there are many people in our little world that think they will never smile again, I am aware that many people suffer in silence through their own trauma and the way in which it is possible to really believe that life will never be good again. This is why I am writing this post tonight, to encourage you to take my word for it that all will become better once we begin to understand that it may never be the same again and we begin to see that things are ever changing, just like how I went from very happy and fun loving to bitter and broken. Changes are happening all of the time. We simply need to see that we can have a beautiful life even though we may have had to struggle to stay afloat. Nice and beautiful does exist and are very possible inside of your own life too.
For some back story you can find my memoir TWO sons TOO many on Amazon.
For more updates and encouragement in your own life, follow along
@TWOsonsTOOmany
@2sons2many
It may not all happen for you over night. It will happen once you have a willingness to keep on going!
Ever been in love? What a feeling it is to have, to experience and to totally enjoy.
Why even ask the question? Am I asking you or am I asking myself? I rarely use my blog posts to ask myself questions though I do and have quite often aired out my thoughts and feelings from deep inside of myself. Why so? Because, I originally called this blog “Random Thoughts”.
To the point of feeling in love or falling in love or experiencing love, I am certain many of you have enjoyed the bliss it brings with it. I am speaking from a place of what can be called, expanded emotional existence in this life of ours. The expansion came into to play when I went through some very dark years, years where I did not believe in the world or the words people had to say. I call them dark to make a reference term that may be understood more clearly. In reality it has been anything but dark, enlightening beyond words, beyond explanation. The expansion of my emotional self was born out of these times and has not been of my own doing. What I mean by this is that I did not sit down one day and decide to do some meditation and then enlighten myself beyond and to some place of super-hyper emotional well being or anything. I felt dragged downward and I have felt that life was very tough to participate in and to be involved with. I withdrew would be the simple way to explain it.
Why even begin to share some of this with you?
I share with you and put this article out there in the public domain via the world wide interweb to shed light on these things for those who may feel they have lost their own voice or may be scouring the internet for encouragement, inspiration or a simple pick me up. The value in my own story is that there is always something new ahead and there are many times we will not understand what is happening and we will not understand WHY!
To keep it short on the issue of where I found myself at is that I have had the misfortune to sit graveside on two separate occasions and bury my two sons. Darra died of sudden death when he was 15 years of age one night in his sleep. Patrick as a toddler of 1yr and 4 months walked his way into a swimming pool and drowned. For me it was the nightmare of nightmares that would not end. My son’s deaths occurred within 2 yrs and 6 months of each other. So, basically within 3 short years I went from super de duper happy go lucky and fun loving to bitter down in the dumps. It only took the first shock and tragedy to collapse me and then the second whilst making attempts to rebuild myself to floor and shatter what was left of me. These episodes of stretching of my emotional self really did do a number on me and my emotional well being and were two complete wrecking ball whacks to the mental health also.
I write and share some of my personal issues here in my blog to shed some light of where I have been in terms of tragedy. I understand what it is like to question every single ounce of life itself. I am also aware that there are many people out there in our world who find it hard to pick themselves up from where they are and what it is that might, only might be going through their head right now today.
I write to you today about the emotional stretching of how it got really bad for me for some time and then I can sit here and write about what it is to feel love. To enjoy it and to feel what it means to me. The stretching to the left so to speak in times of darkness and grief has also allowed me to experience the heightened greatness of feeling love and beauty on the opposite side to the right, again so to speak.
I know love exists in the world, I can feel it and I can experience it. I feel it from my partner and I feel it from my children, I have experienced it from my family and my friends. I do agree that having been stretched emotionally into a place of grief and bereavement that there is the possibility that I now experience all of my emotions to a deeper or “stretched” type of feeling. Call it level or plateau or whatever you will. The point is that it is possible to overcome our severe tragedies and it is possible to experience the look of love from our partner. The love we see in the eyes of our children. These things are real and can happen for us all. I never did think I would ever smile again in my life back when I was sitting graveside or on a dark night when I sat alone and looked back over pictures of my deceased children. I never thought that I would ever hold my children again and feel love. I never thought that I would sit and hold Patrick’s mom (my partner) and feel love ever again in a peaceful moment. I did not know that my stunningly beautiful daughter would bring so much joy to my heart.
Funny thing about when I post or write about things is that I only feel comfortable to write about that which I have experienced. Can I be convincing to you through a blog post?
I have experienced these feelings of love. I am enjoying and can openly tell you that I never ever thought I could return or go beyond where I am now today. What was holding me back you may ask? I was not ready – good answer. I was holding me back, afraid to feel the nice once again because of fear – good answer. I was and have been preventing myself to be too overwhelmed with emotion because I have seen how hard I can fall when things do not work out – good answer too.
These fears inside of ourselves can prevent us from experiencing and enjoying so much of what life has to offer us. I know only too well what it is to be drowning, to be drowning in sorrow. I know what it is like to struggle to come to terms with something in our lives and I am totally aware of how hard it can be to deal with the reality that can be present in our lives. These are some of the reasons I write about love to you today.
How many of us have ever considered that “All we need is LOVE”?
Imagine for a moment every baby that is born into the world is deserving of love and that they cry for food and to be held. They can be clingy at times (for sure) though all they want and need is a little love. You and me, we all began the same way when we were born, in need of a little love. As we grew we began to understand some false narrative that we didn’t deserve love or we didn’t need it to survive. It is the nicest form of existence that I have ever experienced and I am not in any way ashamed to share this with you. This is not a “Valentines day” post that I forgot to post either. I am simply sharing with you that I am in love and have been for quite a long time and when these feelings are reciprocated and felt back by me through my children’s eyes or my partner’s love, it is how I can share with you that the hard dark times do not last forever. I have walked though the fires of hell and survived, I even more recently been at the point of drowning and very nearly dead and I am here to tell the tale.
What is it that keeps me going?
The new heightened sensitivity that I have been given is allowing me to feel some of the most beautiful of what we have in life. The awareness that comes with being open to receive love is magical and I am certain that there are many people in our little world that think they will never smile again, I am aware that many people suffer in silence through their own trauma and the way in which it is possible to really believe that life will never be good again. This is why I am writing this post tonight, to encourage you to take my word for it that all will become better once we begin to understand that it may never be the same again and we begin to see that things are ever changing, just like how I went from very happy and fun loving to bitter and broken. Changes are happening all of the time. We simply need to see that we can have a beautiful life even though we may have had to struggle to stay afloat. Nice and beautiful does exist and are very possible inside of your own life too.
For some back story you can find my memoir TWO sons TOO many on Amazon.
For more updates and encouragement in your own life, follow along
@TWOsonsTOOmany
@2sons2many
It may not all happen for you over night. It will happen once you have a willingness to keep on going!
January 29, 2023
WOW 20~23
WOW 20 ~23
It is indeed one of the cool number years. LeBron / Michael and even the 23 flavours of good old Dr. Pepper. 23, twentythree if you like, for grammar purposes and all that. I personally have chosen to not apply grammar all of the time as I have often felt that in our modern society there are many who do not get it and why should I sacrifice readers for use of grammar. Do you know what I mean? Many writers out there get what I am saying and many have sacrificed, many on the flip side will persevere to preserve. Just kind of how it goes really.
So 23 is well and truly upon us and have you managed to stay true to your resolutions? I ask for a specific reason, the reason being that if you have done so well done to you and if you have not; well done to you also. There is no shame in falling short nor in not completing. It may suck a little bit in the short term, the really good piece is you made an attempt and you have now got some more knowledge about how to go about your goals in a different way next time. That right there is an awesome advantage of never having given it a go in the first place.
Agreed?
Another of my reasons for asking the loaded question is to dive into the importance of here and now. Our feelings or how we tick. Ya see, if one is not achieving the year they may have felt they wanted, that right there is totally okay too. Why so and how?
To be in the here and now is to acknowledge where we are today and not a dream of where we wish to be come year end. The power of this is huge beyond what you may want to accept or understand. Right here right now writing this is where I am supposed to be. Accepting this fact brings me a lot of pleasure and satisfaction and an all around happiness to my day. Because I am not stressed over yesterday nor panicked about tomorrow. This is where I am meant to be precisely at this time. This is the point I wish to hammer home with you today. Wherever you find yourself good, bad or indifferent it is indeed where you are meant to be for right now and to live in the here and now and accept where it is that we are is a great peaceful happy state to find ourselves in. I speak on this from a very real position of growth and learning from within my own life. I am not saying you can read the chapter above and understanding my point that all will be resolved for you. I am saying that it is a great frame of mind to adopt into your life. The power of here and now. No other portion of our life mean anything to us except for this precise moment. All that our life is a tower of moments all stacked on top of each other and we get to enjoy only one at a time. Can you grasp that? If so, you are on your way to great peace and happiness. Well done to you. If you are someone who struggles with remaining in the here and now. Continue to make attempts at bringing yourself back to NOW repeatedly throughout your day. It is your willingness to give it a good go is what will bring you there when all is meant to be. Which kind of speaks to my motto a little “Never Give Up”.
Keep on enjoying twenty twenty three and I look forward to meeting more of you this coming year. For all of you who read a long with me and never say hi, Hi there, fellow human. For all who are here at this point with me right now, thank you for your time and a happy new year to you. And for all who took the time to wish me a happy birthday, thank you to all of you too. Let’s engage with each other this year writers and bloggers alike. Hi, and comment below.
Whatever you are going through whereever you are at in your life.
YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH!!! 1Luv . @TWOsonsTOOmany
It is indeed one of the cool number years. LeBron / Michael and even the 23 flavours of good old Dr. Pepper. 23, twentythree if you like, for grammar purposes and all that. I personally have chosen to not apply grammar all of the time as I have often felt that in our modern society there are many who do not get it and why should I sacrifice readers for use of grammar. Do you know what I mean? Many writers out there get what I am saying and many have sacrificed, many on the flip side will persevere to preserve. Just kind of how it goes really.
So 23 is well and truly upon us and have you managed to stay true to your resolutions? I ask for a specific reason, the reason being that if you have done so well done to you and if you have not; well done to you also. There is no shame in falling short nor in not completing. It may suck a little bit in the short term, the really good piece is you made an attempt and you have now got some more knowledge about how to go about your goals in a different way next time. That right there is an awesome advantage of never having given it a go in the first place.
Agreed?
Another of my reasons for asking the loaded question is to dive into the importance of here and now. Our feelings or how we tick. Ya see, if one is not achieving the year they may have felt they wanted, that right there is totally okay too. Why so and how?
To be in the here and now is to acknowledge where we are today and not a dream of where we wish to be come year end. The power of this is huge beyond what you may want to accept or understand. Right here right now writing this is where I am supposed to be. Accepting this fact brings me a lot of pleasure and satisfaction and an all around happiness to my day. Because I am not stressed over yesterday nor panicked about tomorrow. This is where I am meant to be precisely at this time. This is the point I wish to hammer home with you today. Wherever you find yourself good, bad or indifferent it is indeed where you are meant to be for right now and to live in the here and now and accept where it is that we are is a great peaceful happy state to find ourselves in. I speak on this from a very real position of growth and learning from within my own life. I am not saying you can read the chapter above and understanding my point that all will be resolved for you. I am saying that it is a great frame of mind to adopt into your life. The power of here and now. No other portion of our life mean anything to us except for this precise moment. All that our life is a tower of moments all stacked on top of each other and we get to enjoy only one at a time. Can you grasp that? If so, you are on your way to great peace and happiness. Well done to you. If you are someone who struggles with remaining in the here and now. Continue to make attempts at bringing yourself back to NOW repeatedly throughout your day. It is your willingness to give it a good go is what will bring you there when all is meant to be. Which kind of speaks to my motto a little “Never Give Up”.
Keep on enjoying twenty twenty three and I look forward to meeting more of you this coming year. For all of you who read a long with me and never say hi, Hi there, fellow human. For all who are here at this point with me right now, thank you for your time and a happy new year to you. And for all who took the time to wish me a happy birthday, thank you to all of you too. Let’s engage with each other this year writers and bloggers alike. Hi, and comment below.
Whatever you are going through whereever you are at in your life.
YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH!!! 1Luv . @TWOsonsTOOmany
Random thoughts by Aidan.
Some may be of my grief, some just things I notice. See what you think as inspiring your thoughts makes my day 😊🇮🇪
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