Aidan Mc Nally's Blog: Random thoughts by Aidan. , page 3

During Ukraine invasion ~ I think 🇺🇦🤔

I awoke to the same shocking news as you all did this February in 2022. Russian troops were entering the Ukraine and an air assault had already occurred mid morning followed by ground troops advancing. These were the basic news reports being reported. Yes to my disgust and quite shocked to see. In the year of all advancement in life and humanity a single independent nation could be harrassed and invaded in such a manor.

As I sit and think of how this will effect my life, the answer for me is that it will cost me some money when I fuel up the car, products in the grocery store are likely to cost more also. So what else? Not too much more to be honest, yet I feel an emptiness inside to see footage of people having to shelter in place and flee for borders of neighbouring lands. I feel upset and angered directly at the actions of Vladimir Putin.
Why so?
This invasion does not affect me directly in any major way. I am an Irish man and citizen and have no military obligations of any kind. I am a writer and positivity influencer who has a specialist niche expertise in life and how we as humans can overcome and succeed in life. For these reason I am clear and certain of how the Ukrainian people will over come these horrific attacks and efforts of occupation.

My upset and distaste is based upon my own naivety and ignorance. My heart felt emotions are for the people of the Ukraine for sure. The entire country of Ukraine is not deserving of such attacks, they ARE INNOCENT.

My naivety is such where I believed this kind of thing could never happen. I thought that the more we advanced as humans, the more less likely such an invasion of a free nation could ever happen. I, like you perhaps, believed in the sysyem of politics and democracy and believed that war or any land occupation or invasion was simply not possible within our modern world.
I was wrong.
I was living in a dream of niceties and believed in the good of our global system.

I have watched the news reports on day 1 and 2 of the invasion and thought or more like, really expected to see immediate action of tremendous force to repel the Russian efforts. What I have heard thus far have been trade embargoes and sanctions that may take some time to make any dent in the Russian war effort.

So what does one believe in now? 1st off I guess, I as a human of this world would ask that any person with any clout or position of influence to encourage all around the world to aid and assist any Ukrainian person at this time and through the coming days & weeks. Use your position to spread the news to Russian people so as to give them clearer insight of what has happened and is happening, give Russian citizens an understanding outside of Putin and Kremlin propoganda.

Hold accountable your own local, county, state & federal governments to act immediately.
Vladimir Putin has proven to be a liar and continues to show strong evidence of mental instability, which then in turn brings about strong cause for his removal from power.
UN, NATO troops, Australia, Germany, United States, United Kingdom, France and all other powerful nations have civic duty to their citizens to stamp out any tyrant who acts in the manner in which we are seeing occur in Ukraine today. Our vastly connected world could shut the Russians down in an instant
yet politics and accoubtability, more like accountability dodging all take precedent.

Shame on you world leaders. Or is it shame on me?
Fool me once with the lack luster efforts during a pandemic, shame on you.
Fool me twice with no immediate action in direct opposition through force against Russia, shame on me!

The world as I know it and as I will continue to believe in the good of humanity is with you Ukraine.

To brave fallen heroes of Ukraine, I salute you. 💜

Please sign, reply and share to show support to those citizens of Ukraine who have already suffered enough darkness in the face of Vladimir Putin and the Russian war effort.

2 thousand & twenty two ~ This year for me and YOU

We have all endured so much through the pandemic, yes some more than others.
Some of us went through hell and lost our jobs, some suffered quietly through lockdowns, some buried loved ones and some of us tip toed along the lines of losing our mind.

What is so interesting about these past 2 years and so wonderful about the year ahead?
You have survived all that nature and governments have thrown at you. You are here now reading this. This is a massive achievement and deserves recognition. Take a moment and enjoy this minute in time to acknowledge your continued perseverance through thick and thin.

I come from a position of understanding hardships that life can throw our way. I remember writing during the first lockdown about which was worse, to be locked down or locked up? And it was really about a thought of how it does not matter which as it all depends on our attitude, whether or not the things that happen around us are allowed in to our inner deeper realms of self. Things, situations, people & occurrences in our lives will contonue each and every day. The beauty of it all is that we are permitted opportunities every day to allow these things outside of ourselves to enter and bring about upset or cause instability to our life. We have the power to choose to allow these things have such effect or NOT.

You are here now, this is what is important, you are alive and have survived.
For your thoughts today for our year ahead,

This year of twenty two
A year for me & you.

Achievements, goals atop
the highest mountain.
Return of our youth &
drink from it's fountain.

This year of twenty two
A year for me & you.

Our sights and plans of future
travel.
Allow the strings
held tight unravel.

This year of 22
Is for sure for me & you.

Emotional hurt with depth
of pain
Our lessons to learn for
our lives to gain.

This year of twenty two
A year for me & you.

Walk in a park, the beach
nature all around
To win in your hustle
A dollar, Euro or pound

The year of 22
The year for me & you

Seasons come and go and days
will pass by
The lows so necessary
to enjoy the next high
We learn as we grow and
enjoy each day
Repeat with me
let me hear you say

THE YEAR OF TWNETY TWO
FOR SURE FOR ME & YOU!

@TWOsonsTOOmany

STRENGTH - Body, Mind, Spirit

The new you for 22.
Here it comes, the new year and many are making resolutions and commitments to gym memberships. Working on the healthy side of losing weight and building muscle. Great ideas and what better way to spend the beginning of the new year. I love the slogan of NEW YOU ~ 4 TWENTY TWO 😊

Let's talk about the other parts of ourselves for a moment, the other pieces that make up who we are. The BODY will be the part of ourselves that we can tone and build muscle with our beautiful gym membership.
The MIND is another important muscle of ours. A very important piece of who we are that needs plenty of exercising too. What will we do for out mind?
I offer to you my international award winning book Layman's Handbook in life, the subtitle ~ Simple Tools to change how we live. This is a guide book to offer assistance and help in finding things that work for mind exercise. A path to being content and at peace and as the remainder of the subtitle states "A journey to SELF".
I mention the award winning of the book as I won an award on the international stage for 2021 for this book in the category of Mind, Body, Spirit. What better way to begin the new year? Treat yourself to a simple investment in self. Exercising your mind can work some magic and keep you motivated with the gym workout while you are at it too.

SPIRIT, what can we do for our spirit? I normally blaze my own trail and have always learned from my own experiences. Funny thing that, I have always said to myself "a clever person learns from his mistakes ~ a wise person learns from the mistakes of others". So which are you?
As I was saying for my spirit, for our spirit and for the process of building strength of self in all areas of BODY ~ MIND & SPIRIT, I have aligned myself with a tremendous group of people that I stumbled upon on the internet. A group where chatting and discussing mindset is to the fore.
The group is called Our Mindset and you can find the group on the social media app called clubhouse. Listening in and taking part in discussions and masterclasses in self, mindset, financial improvement, spirit and an all around wealth of knowledge and wisdom is shared on a daily basis. Well worth the visit to listen in and learn, participate and improve your spirit, improve your mind and improve your life.

Strength of character.
Strength of body.
Strength of mind.
Strength of spirit.

Above I have mentioned 3 simple steps, let's recap
1. Gym membership to improve body.
2. Layman's Handbook in life to improve mind and attitude
3. Our Mindset group on clubhouse to improve your situation.

Perhaps you remain sceptical and cannot see that investing 5 bucks in buying a "self help" book is any use to you?
Perhaps you think reading and learning is not for you. 5 bucks spent on self is too much? Let that sink in for a moment.
How about downloadong a social media app where you can join an international group of people who are fine tuning their lives on a daily basis and will share the conversation with you, oh wait a minute! Social media to you is better spent browsing facebook and seeing what your friends have been up to for the weekend? I have never seen facebook or instagram to be of any benefit in life other than to sell books. Let that sink in for a while too 😊

The tools are out there folks. I write this blog post 1 day before new years eve, sitting in 30 degree weather in paradise. How did all this come about?
Read the post again, you may see the trail I am pointing out to you.
Remember the slogan.
The NEW YOU ~ 4 22.
HAPPY NEW YEAR from @TWOsonsTOOmany

SHARE ~ LIKE ~ COMMENT 👍

How IMPORTANT are you? ~ VERY!

How important are you?
What a great question and thank you for sending it to me.
Let's dive right in. You are THE most important person. I know I posted the word very above in the title. Kind of like, VIP very important person, right? I am figuring out to myself right now that perhaps MIP would be a great new way to think of this, yup ~ Most Important Person.
Why so?
Because you are! Yes, it is that simple. You, yes you the person reading this right now are the most important person in your life. Hard to believe isn't it?

Think about it for a moment with me. I will ask you a quesrion and you can pause on it for a moment.
Who is the most important person in your life?
Pause, 2, 3, 4

Okay, now who thought about the entire list? My Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Aunt, Uncle, Grandparents, Son, Daughter, Husband, Wife?
Did you go through the entire list in your mind?

There are different stages in our lives where yes indeed some of the people I mentioned above are absolutely the most important. Example, when born our mother is most probably the most important person as nurturing and food is essential to our existence. Then as we are child, our parents or grandparents are massively important as our guardians. At that stage we need protecting.

So how about now? All grown up and going about the place "adulting"?

I have learned that I am the most important person in my life. I am essential to my peace of mind. I am essential to my actions and feelings. I am essential to my progress in my journey of life.
Have you ever thought about these type of things?
I would love to hear your thoughts. Comment below.

Here comes another massive portion of something that I have learned in my life journey.
You are massively important in my life too. What? Me? Who me? Yes, YOU!

I have learned that in order for me to survive and thrive in my lifetime that other people are important.

So wait a minute!
I am the most important person in my life? Yes correct.
Yet, other people are also massively important? So which is it, me or them?

In order for me to continue on my journey I am in need of others. I have found that without others there is no way to understand myself. Without others I cannot be challenged, be encouraged or be aided.
I too have needs of others. This is what makes you important to my life. Isn't that something though for real?

Point being, I have a new project that I am aiming for 2022 to begin work on. The project link is below. When it comes to reaching more people and lifting this project up, I have found that it is other people who are a key component.

So do I need other people or do I want other people?

For me, I have found that in order for me to maintain peace and wellbeing in my emotional self, I can manage quite well on my own. For me to have peace in my mind, I have found that I am the most important person in my life.
Now that I am am applying myself to undertaking stepping stones towards my own personal goals and quests to build something. I do infact have need of other people. Imagine that. For a long time to maintain my own personal wellbeing I have not found a need of others.
This has been part of my journey thusfar. The healthy isolation has been and is a wonderful peaceful place to be. I encourage you all to recognise that you are the MOST important person in your life.

Ah yes though, when it cpmes to operating within the world, you have befome important to me also.
How come?
I wish for you to support my project with me.
How so? Financially?
Not exactly, what I have found is that spreading the word of my project carries a huge ton of value. Your simple shares on social media are something I am in need of.
The project is a crowdfunding project which needs "other people" to get involved. Typically I have become a full believer in doing things myself. Now though I have realised that it does not go ahead without you.
Without who?
Yes YOU!

I am providing a link at the bottom of this post and my ask is that you click on it, you pledge to support the project only if you can afford to do so.

My real BIG ASK is that you share the link.
Share where though? Share with who?
Again great questions.
My ask is that you make a post on your social media platforms and you paste the link into your post. You ask your friends to share the post also. I want to harness the power of friends and followers to bring more spotlight to my upcoming project.
So, why are you the most important?

I cannot do it without you and without your help.

When you share the link with your friends ask them to share it with 10 of their friends. Send the link to 3 or 4 of your friends on instagram for example and ask that they too will share the link with their friends.

Let me put it to you like this, your share of this project is more important to me than you can imagine.
If you are person who has ever,
Felt like giving up (then share the link)
Felt like you are the only one (then share the link)
Have experienced trauma in your life (then share the link)
Have experienced loss in your life (then share the link)
Have a busy mind (then share the link)
Have ever felt lonely (then share the link)
Have received help from friends (then share the link)
Have needed people in your life (then share the link)
Have wished you should have... (then share the link)

I think you might be getting the idea. I am human just like you and I undestand what it is like to need help and I know how to ask for it.

So today, share on all of your social media platforms, SHARE THIS LINK

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/...

Ya see, it is by finding my own strength and by learning about myself that I can realise how important you are.
These are some of the benefits or knowing that YOU are the most important person in YOUR life.

Thank you for your time today in reading and sharing my project.
When in need, reach out😊

October 31st ~ winter is here

HALLOWEEN of all days. Imagine some few thousand years ago, a gang of pagans decided to have end of harvest parties and festivals and mark their calendar with a beginning of winter kind of shindig. Some years later, people dress up as monsters, light bonfires, get super silly drunk and run around lightning fireworks/firecrackers for a bit of fun. Now that's mad.

Trick or treat the kids will say as they wait for gifts of sweets/candy. A funny thing is that with covid rules, this ritual is not permitted in mamy parts or the world, mad again.

We live in a beautiful world, surrounded by the beauty of nature everyday. Yet somehow the humans seem to find ways to change things a little here and there and to me I call it all mad. I suppose that could be why I love that song Mad World, so much.
Well happy Halloween to you all for today October 31st.

I have tons of new & exciting news to share with you all. For the sake of the festivities of Halloween, I will post again during the week with updates.
Enjoy your spooky, horror day.
@TWOsonsTOOmany @2sons2many

Why? 5 reasons to begin with

SELF.
5 simple reasons to begin with self. Oh, what does that mean?
In my book, Layman's Handbook in life, a journey to self. I have jotted down some 27 chapters of tips and tools to begin a journey to self.

Why so?

In my own lifetime I have had some major and some minor reasons to find understanding of myself and my situations. The reasoning for my searching came about when I was chin deep in grief and anger. Anger brought about while in a grieving journey for the loss of my loved ones. I had no real understanding of anything really. What seemed real was not real and vice versa. I could not understand much and I had no knowledge of how to direct my feelings. I have referred to myself as a misfit in society and a shambles of a man. The practices and therapies that I thought myself became very valuable tools indeed. And so, I felt the urge to share the meat and bones of how I climbed out of that hole through my self help book 'Layman's Handbook in life by Aidan Mc Nally.

1. When we wish to analyse and use our intelligence to look at the people around us, we are not really doing ourselves any favours at all. As simple as the saying 'when we point a finger at someone, there are 3 fingers pointing back at ourselves'. It is not the other person that is the reason we feel any particular way. It is I, me, us that is having the feeling and that means simply, it is me that must work on my feeling. Not at all to use brain power to change the other person. Yes they may be the trigger, of course. How and ever it is my feeling that brings about discomfort to my life and not the other person. Reason 1 to begin with self.
The more we take this approach, the easier life becomes and the educational value of getting to know self is amazing. Finding pathways to understand my own feelings is the most valuable process I have ever undertaken. This is clearly why I have placed this as the number 1 and why I will continue to encourage such a journey in everyone I encounter.

2. Self made is a massive achievement, be it financially or spiritually. Self made, made by self. What I identified was that when I achieve something by myself, for myself and by my own understandings, the rewards that I have felt have been much more powerful and valuable. Besides there is no other person that can be held responsible. Becoming accountable for all that we do and say is a very valuable lesson to learn. Ah yes, this is not always the case for everybody and many others may wish to play the "blame game" and point fingers.
What I have discovered is that there is a huge portion of peace of mind, satisfaction and achievement waiting for us when we learn how we are responsible for our own lives. Self made is a beautiful place to relax in after we have put in the work.

3. The lenses and filters that I see the world through are mine. They have developed throughout my lifetime and my benchmark or scale of how I see things, my perspective is a piece of me that no other person can see. Others may relate on many levels and some may have deep understandings. The number 3 on the list of reasons for a journey to self is how it is my perspective that is what is necessary for me to understand. When I gain an understanding of my own perspective, it is then that I can begin to detect where another may be coming from. Without an understanding of my scalable view points, I cannot communicate to others. I cannot relate and understand. My smoothest path to understanding my fellow humans is to understand myself first.
When I became aware of how I take in information and then relate it to my own benchmarks, I began to see how everything I process is based upon my own understanding first, my own benchmark. This has allowed me to see some of my inner workings and allowed me to gain strength in life. Strength to understand how or why I feel certain ways. Definitely how to bring about a calm within myself.
Knowing that I can relate to another person in a true fashion is a very joyful place that I uncovered, which I found to be of comfort and benefit to both myself and other people. All based upon understanding where my own perspective comes from. Bringing value to others is very satisfying which in turn builds even greater value to my ~ SELF.

4. Sometimes we may need to hold a hand, we may need guidance from others, we may need help. It has been by taking a journey inside of myself that I have learned when and where to ask for help. The embarrassing feelings or blockades or barriers that I may have created inside of myself may have prevented me from becoming open to others in the past. Until I discovered these barriers inside, I had no understanding to know why I have hid away from others. There were times when I needed a shoulder to cry on, times when I needed an ear to listen. Some definition of pride stood in my way. By journeying inside of myself I have been able to discover the blockades that exist and my openness became much more free and authentic. I am going to say right here ~ the value and self worth that has developed by becoming open with others has been and still is the most rewarding, TRY IT.

By identifying a lifetime of blockades and habits or tactics to remain hidden to others takes so much effort to maintain. Effort that we can use in our day to day energy and well-being. We can even gain beautiful sleep and relaxation by discovering our inner barriers which we have developed over our lifetimes. Barriers that we have created for what we may have termed "our own survival". By uncovering these barriers and developing an openness we begin to learn and develop clear communication skills. We begin to allow our own emotions to have a clear path to flow from within which in turn creates a much healthier life. Breaking down barriers is not only a methodology for revolution, breaking down barriers allows our inner self and outer self to begin to become aligned. How awesome is that?

5. Freedom. What is this? Especially ask ourselves, what is freedom based upon my own perspective? Based upon my own benchmarks? Based upon my own barriers and blockades? What is freedom?
Our mind can imprison us. Our emotional blockages/suppression can imprison us. We can compartmentalise many aspects of life, we have the ability to store up memories of hurtful items and bury some of the painful feelings inside of ourselves. Reason number 5 to take a journey to self is to bring about freedom to ourselves.
We have all heard how to love ourselves is a first step in learning how to love others.
In order to love others I must learn how to love myself. To love myself is to stop hurting myself. To love myself is to begin to unlock my self on an emotional level and to allow my memories of hurt escape, set them free, remove them.
Ah yes, how though?
A technique to bring about a clarity of mind and free flow of emotion for me has come about through simple meditation. Simple breathing exercises to allow emotions surface and escape. To calm my mind to a point of clarity. These freedoms have been developed slowly though steadily. Through focus of thought on my breathing only, feelings come to the fore. They can be set free and also at the same time my mind can become calm. Freedom is a beautiful part of the journey. Freedom to enjoy all emotion, freedom to think clearly. These freedoms are the priceless investment return to enrich my life.
Yes some emotions are painful and have been buried for a long long time indeed. Can you imagine how much energy they have taken up to keep them buried?
Allowing feelings pass from us is and has been the greatest ever release I have felt. The freedom to feel outweighs any painful element and so emotion can be enjoyed no matter how painful. We can cry freely in hurt and we can cry freely in releasing these hurtful pains. The new crying very soon becomes enjoyable as we are beginning to experience freedom.
Freedom is priceless. Free to express, free to enjoy, free to think, free to understand.



I ask you to comment below on any of your own experiences or results from trying new methods of bringing about a nicer life for yourself. The items I have mentioned above are to kickstart you into your journey to self. Of course I appreciate your share of this blog post on any platform that you find it on.


Get your own copy of Layman's Handbook in life, A journey to SELF. Begin today on the journey.
Thank you to you all for your supoort in all of my writing and my books. I am forever grateful.
Follow @TWOsonsTOOmany

Determination, excitement, success ~ Great words.

I believe in the use of words, their effectiveness over our lives and how we get to choose what we say.

In Layman's Handbook there is a chapter devoted to "The words we use daily".

In an all round general way to take a look at words and how we use them, it is quite simple really as I see it. When we choose the words that we speak, we may slow down our speech just a little. We are taking our time to find the right words, we are choosing our words. When we do this we are not wasting time because of a slighlty slower process involved in choosing and thinking about the words we are using.
We are however making clear choices towards a nicer life.

A nicer life by choosing my words?

Yes indeed, it is totally possible to change one's entire mindset by how we choose our words.
I have used in the title of this post 3 words.
Determination, can you pause with this word for a moment and have a little think about it?
What does it mean to you? Can you say the word to yourself and then say the word out loud. No need to shout, just speak the word out. Determination.

I guess inside of a small piece of myself I would like you to use this word during your week this week too. Try and remember now as you have paused and spoke the word out loud to yourself.

Excitement, another great word to use. Can you pause for a moment with this word.
Can you whisper it to yourself, and again can you speak it out loud to yourself.
Perhaps this will be a great word to use during the week ahead also.
Speak it out and say it during the week.

Success is awesome. This word has almost like magic powers. Again pause for a moment with the word. Think about the word success. Whisper it to yourself and please take a moment to speak the word out loud to yourself.
Success.
Find room for this word in your week.

Taking time with the words above is important and brings huge befefit to our lives. Yes for sure, this is a blog post and the post is filled with words, you are correct in this thought process. When we speak out words, speak them out loud, there are a few of our senses activated in our body. We first have the thought that goes into speaking the word, so our mind is activated. We also have our speech activated and we have our ears activated when we speak as they are listening.
We hear everything we say. When we pause in thought about a word or we take our time in choosing some more positive upbeat words, then this is indeed what we hear, what we feel as we speak. An actual physical feeling of how the words are formed in our mouth and how the murmur that runs along our neck as we hear the words being spoken. Sometimes we can feel the words in our nasal area as we speak them too.

These sensory type things occurring as we speak is why it so important to choose our words. Just like Dorothy when she clicked her heels together "there's no place like home" she repeated it a few times and then she was home.

Repeat these words during your week.
Determination ~ Excitement ~ Success

It will be an interesting little project to take on. All to gain by taking on a little trial for the week.
Of course I would love to know your results although, I am quite confident you will be pleasantly surprised.


Have a great week and share, comment and like the post please & thank you.
@TWOsonsTOOmany

Life can be tough ~ Only sometimes though

Doesn't the title tell it all though?
Life can be tough, not many people are ever prepared for the worst things that can happen. These are often the times when we will question everything in and about humanity.
I suppose the purpose of my post today is to delve into a little of how perhaps we can find our way through some of the harder times.
We could take the position of how the leaking faucet can wear away a rock or a stone and believe it to be how life may continuously grind away at ourselves too constantly.

I much prefer to see things from the opposite angle of view about the same way in which water can wear away a stone and bore holes in rock. The position or viewooint being that, when we continue to dig deep and hold ourselves together, we can get through the toughest of times.
Ah yes, to all of you who had some struggles in your lifetime, yes, you know it is much easier to say it now, after the fact. This is true.

I guess to be honest about my own tough times as I experienced them, I never thought the harsh pain inside of myself would ever go away. I could not take any person's advice or listen to encouragement as I was emotionally destroyed.
Harsh words even to write now today, thinking back on how hard it has been.

Though my experiences have been quite real and very much educational to myself on many levels, I am now writing an article to encourage all who may be going through some difficult times. Imagine me who would have never taken advice or could not escape my pains to afford any time to listen to encouragement, I write today for those who may find themselves "struggling" to cope with the roughness and harshness that life can bring our way from time to time.
Now that I have covered the "WHY" I am writing this piece today, perhaps I can tell you some of the "HOW".

In 2011, imagine! Ten fricking years ago this December. My first born son Darra died of a mystery. The official term given has been a possible anomaly of the heart resulting in what is termed "Sudden death or Sudeen Adult death syndrome (SADS) or Sudden Arrhythmia Death Syndrome. Either way or what one wishes to call it, the result was at 3 weeks into his 15th year of life, he never woke up from sleep one Monday morning. He passed away suddenly at some point during the night in his sleep.
Yes!
Quite the shocker.
Darra was a very fit young man and there had never been any reason to consider any health issues with him as he could easily have been referred to as "healthy as a horse".

At the time I was an absent father. I lived in another country and for some years had done all I could to return to Ireland and spend some time with my son as often as possible. Our relationship was mostly through technology. When we spent time together it was always good fun and our chats on the phone were becoming more adult like and not speaking to a child anymore.
My dreams were filled with ideas of how his life would be much more easier and fun filled when he grows up. These dreams were born in 1996 when he was.
I was waiting for him to be old enough to spend time with me in foreign lands and enjoy some of the great highs that life has to offer us.
Many years of hard work and many years of dreams all came crashing down that day in December 2011 when my brother broke the news of his death to me over a phone call.
I never thought a phone call could change our life so much.
I then in an emotional turmoil set off to find a plane journey that could get me to his side as quick as possible. It is like some panic instinctive thing to want to be there immediately. I arrived to the wake, my beautiful baby boy (who was now much larger than a baby anymore) lay in a coffin in the front room of his home where he lived with his mom, stepfather and brother and sister.
That right their folks is something else.

Can any piece of that situation be considered good?

Was the phone call to learn of Darra's death any worse than walking in to his home to his wake?

Did 17 hours of planes and airports make it any harder or easier?

I honestly say to you "who fucking knows!"

I write as much for those of you who understand what these pains may be like as I do for myself. The hurt and devastation is not something that goes away the next day and here I am almost 10 full years later with some very strong feelings of grief and loss and lost sometimes.

This situation has been rough in my life, this situation has been quite tough in my life.
I write it out to give you some insight that I am not a pop up over night guy with some words of wisdom for you.
I also write it out to remind myself of my own motivations.
December 2011 changed my life. The experience of having my son in a coffin that day changed how my emotional pain threshold operated and a deeper part of me was activated or opened up to me.
To say that as I held the straps and lowered Darra inside his coffin into his grave was the toughest thing I had ever had to do is an understatement.

A little harsh reality of life. Sometimes the people we love die. Many of us have buried our mothers or fathers, yes I do understand.
For those of us who have buried our child, we cannot compare and many times find it very hard to explain.

A little earlier in my own life I had overcome the grips of drug addiction through some very hard work on myself and by being surrounded by some very wonderful people. I thought that to give up alcohol and never take any drugs again at the age of 18 was the hardest thing to do. I was a little different to my peers for these reasons and while most were beginning to experiment with alcohol, never mid drugs. I was living a sober drug free life.
Now admittedly, I am aware that the grip of drug addiction and getting clean is one hell of a struggle and it takes massive amounts out of oneself. The day I got that phone call, that made all those former inner battles and the changes in my life, all were very much dwarfed in their level of difficult and the extent of emotional pain.

I had to pick up the pieces somehow and find a way to live again in the world. I had to overcome the trauma of Darra's death. It was upon me to get on with life.
It was very difficult that year 2012. Nothing made sense anymore.

On a brighter note in 2013 I got to welcome my second son into the world and though a mixed bag of emotions, one side felt guilty that I could not share this new love with Darra and the other was over joyous to hold Patrick's little hand and whisper to him that he has a big brother who is gonna watch out for him.
I was nervous, so nervous that some nights I would wake up and check on Patrick to make sure he was still breathing while he slept in his cot. PTSD is a bit of bitch of a thing to shake loose from, I can testify to that for sure.

Just like back in treatment in my teenage years I had been handed a new opportunity, a new light in life to focus upon and aim higher. Although yes, I carried a heavy heart by now which also brought into my life a deeper kind of love for Patrick. That day back in 2011 as we buried Darra the expanse of emotional pains had been stretched so deep or so wide that the opposite end had a new found set of happy emotions too. The love for Patrick was different along with a ton of nervousness.

In 2014 during a mini vacation weekend, Patrick awoke very early and somehow made his way to the swimming pool area and fell in. I awoke on the morning of July 6th 2014 to the belows of his mom and came running to help drag him from the pool and perform mouth to mouth resuscitation on him.
A hurried ambulance ride to the emergency room and an all around panic situation was happening.
Patrick died that day.
When the emergency room had cleared of doctors and nurses and some time had passed with me and Patrick's mom sobbing by his side, a nurse came and explained it was time to bring Patrick to the hospital morgue.
Wrapped in a light blanket I picked him up and I walked behind the nurse through the corridors. Patrick in my arms and his mom by my side. His face so beautiful, his hair and his skin so beautiful. One would neever know that by his look that my second son Patrick had just died from drowning.
Thay walk from ER to the morgue that morning was the toughest thing I have ever had to do to date. No over dramatisation, no extra spin. That is a simple as it was. Me, Patrick and his mom all walking behind a nurse through walkways and corridors of a hospital to lay him on a steel trolley.
That is part of where I am coming from today, this is part of my story.

So, get to the point already! Right?

I then have had to reinvent myself and my life a number of times through many hardships. I have learned many things through these traumas.
The one I wish to share with you today is quite simple.
It is not strength to live through these traumas that have entered my life. It is the persistence just like the water.
We do not give up. We continue on and we drive through our obstacles. The obstacles that may present themselves by no making of our own. We dig inside of ourselves and we acknowledge the terrible trauma and feelings and we get right back up and keep on going.
How or why you may ask.
I am here today knowing that my two children have given me reason to share with you my experiences, share with you the information to give you cause to keep on going.
I have very deep motivation to bring to you and have many experiences to draw upon to let you know that when I tell you that we can overcome and we can live to enjoy the beauty life has to offer.

Once upon a time I thought life was over. Today I write this blog post as a reminder to me and as reassurance to you that there are great things to be enjoyed in this life of ours. I am not going to continue writing as to try and bullshit you in any way. Life is totally worth living.
Yes it has it's moments and can be the toughest hardest thing you can ever imagine to have to do.
Here I am, a writer now who has released books and writes blogs and posts them all over the internet for you to read. The guy who wanted to curl up and die on more than one occasion.

I write today to tell you that no matter what, no matter how hard those rocks are, the water can still wear them away. The toughness of life and all that life throws at you can be worn down too.
Aidan Mc Nally has seen the proof of being persistent in life, I know what real pain is and I am here telling that you will be okay. I an writing to encourage you to keep on fighting, keep on changing.

I can boast today to you that I have won an international award for one of my books, yes I was the winner.
I can boast to you that my first memoir has sold in over 20 countries around the world.

I also wish to share with you that I have the most amazing beautiful 5 year old daughter Alana.

Take heed of the words I speak.
You will be okay.
Life is beautiful.
Love and joy and beauty will come back around.
The harshness and toughness are only temporary.

Be like the water, do not look for strength, be persistent.

Like, share & follow @TWOsonsTOOmany

(if any piece or today's blog has touched you or adversely affected you please do reach out)

I appreciate all you can do to further my own writing career. Your share of my post or tell a friend does so much more for me than you can imagine.

Thank you and have a great week, knowing that you are going to be okay.

Relaxation Remedies ~ chapter 10

Layman's Handbook in life by Aidan Mc Nally.
"simple tools to change how we live"
Chapter 10 takes a look into relaxation. Who ever gets time for that stuff, right?
Here it is below, let me know what you think in comments.
Have a great September & thank you to all of you who have taken the time to share on social media and like and comment.
@TWOsonsTOOmany

RELAXATION REMEDIES
Many of us can have a hard time finding the time to relax and then when we finally get a moment to ourselves, we cannot even begin to relax as the moments have become few and far between. We do not know what to do with ourselves when we get some down time or alone time. What can we know about relaxing when it has become almost foreign to us. We do know that we can listen to some music or maybe you are reading this book right now as a form of relaxing. As here again based upon our many differences as humans there are several different levels to find some relaxation in.

When a week of work has left you feeling tired and even a little highly strung, finding the stress levels hard to turn off or slow down can be a difficult place to be when it comes to Friday evening. The weekend looming and a whole host of activities planned and all you have is Friday evening to unwind a little and take some time to try and relax. How can one just simply flip a switch and go from 9 to 5 go getter business person or Monday to Friday delivery driver to relaxed weekend mode? It is a great question isn't it? Trying to find something that works for yourself can be difficult in our modern times. So many friends are always quick to tell us what we should try and how they find great relaxation in blah blah blah. I dare to ask you, do they really get relaxed though? They are indeed easy words to speak and people will tell you they are relaxed just so as to not have you pry into their real feelings. It's all part of that mask we wear out in public again. It is normal and part of every day life for us all to wear the mask and as we mentioned earlier, not to want or just naturally have no desire to be our true own self out among the public. There are those of us who can find ways to relax though and it doesn't matter to me if I am in public or at home all by myself. I will just mellow out if the setting is right, to be fair though, I didn't just have that ability all by myself. It did take a little practice. I can recall being invited to go to a symphony one evening and yes it does sound a little out of the norm of things to do on a Saturday evening but I went along to check it out. I sat there in my chair listening to the music and before I knew it I was out cold. Well, not out cold exactly I suppose if I am to be honest, I was in a state of limbo so to speak. I can recall how I was unconscious to the world around me, the symphony Hall and all the people in it, I was involved with the music in some sedate way. It really was like magic. When It was finished it was as if I was waking up from a deep sleep and I was asking my friends, had I been snoring or anything? I felt like I had been asleep. I wasn't asleep though I was in a trance and a complete relaxed state where only the music was happening for me in my mind and all around me. What I have since learned from this encounter was that it is possible to sink in or slip away with soft music even at home. You can try it for yourself and see will it work. Find a comfortable seat and close your eyes while allowing some music to play. Maybe pull a curtain or dim down some lights and just allow your body and mind to concentrate on the music only. Listen to the music, try and see if this can be something you can do for an hour on a Friday evening. It is like a form of meditation where becoming one with something allows the entire world to disappear for a small time and the entire mind, that being the feeling part and the thinking part and your physical self all joining together in sync to enjoy some moments all to yourself. Any good relaxation is always just on the edge of asleep and awake. No thoughts in the head and soft calm feelings from the gut, magically really.

There are those of us who might not be able to slow down the mind on just our first attempt and we may need a little practice at it. This is totally okay and keeping in mind also that there are no right or wrong ways to relax. It is a "thing" that is very much individual and for this reason it is worth trying out some of the stuff your friends will suggest to you along your journey in life. Just try em, if they do not work it is okay. Not everything that works for another will work for you. The fact you are willing to try suggest to me that you will find what level you are on and where your own relaxation remedy actually lies in life.

Going to the gym and working out can be a great way to finish the week off and my special time has always been in the swimming pool. My routine used to be to enter the gym and dive straight in to the pool. I would swim an uncounted number of lengths, most often until I can begin to hear my own heartbeat in my ears, that was my marker to slow it down. I would then roll on to my back and float along, kicking gently to propel myself down the lane and watching the ceiling of the pool house. I would use my hands to flap a little and keep my straight line and just chill. Having your ears under the water helps block out the other noises and floating aimlessly along the lane of the pool has been a great way to relax for me. There is something in the keeping my ears under the water and kind of forcing the brain to switch off due to less noise, I guess. The tiniest of little panic can occur when you have an instinctive feeling that the wall must be close and you are about to bang your head off of it. The panic is natural and not enough to bring about anything major but it does help me feel and be aware of myself. Floating in the water has another piece to it that I guess is something to do with the body becoming very relaxed and happy in a sense. Floating weightless eases stress and allows me to just be one with the element of water and thoughts from my mind can flow away as if to leak into the waters around me. I have found great benefit from swimming, plus it is a great way to be working out and keeping fit also. I will also admit that after a swim and a little time spent floating on my back I head for the sauna usually and once there I again focus on my breathing and allow myself to slip nicely into a state of relaxation. Another 15 to 30 minutes of being at one with only my breathing and allowing my body to completely turn off. The benefits of relaxing this way has brought great feeling to my entire mind. I always know when I am not in a good place to relax when I cannot slow the noise of my heart beat from my ears while floating or I cannot stand the heat of the sauna room, these are signs to me that I am not able to relax at those times and so I usually go and sit in the pool with my arms resting on the side and kick my legs slowly through the water to help tire them out a bit and then I will try again the sauna.
Swimming may not be your thing and I totally understand too, however if you are willing to try it, you may find some of the great relaxation values that I have found over the years.

There is nothing wrong with pampering ourselves a little bit every so often. Ways in which to do so can be as soothing as going shopping and buying ourselves some new bed sheets and pillows. The art of shopping itself can help bring about some feel good feelings. Just the simply act of buying something for ourselves can have a great, well not achievement but satisfaction attached to it. Buying ourselves a little treat, the relaxation side of it can be how we just wander around the shops in no particular order or on no particular schedule. When we buy ourself some nice new pillows and sheets there is a double bonus affect because when we go home and dress the bed and finally fall in to our nest to sleep, ah yes, this can be so rewarding. We can melt away again in a nice new hotel feel to our own bed. I recommend finding the highest thread count you can find for the sheets, you will be glad you did when you feel how soothing your nights sleep can be. This is just another form of how we can distract ourselves with an activity like shopping and take some relaxation from it. With again the double bonus of relaxing into nice new sheets.

Another I have found quite powerful is the spoiling ourselves in a different way, massage. Yes this my friends is a therapy designed and by it's very own purpose a relaxation method. It can be a little expensive to find a good masseuse and it is hard to justify spending money on ourselves with new sheets and nights out at the symphony. Answer me this then, are you not worth it? Does all your work and hard weeks not make you feel you deserve to spoil yourself just a little? Try it and see. Find the best place you can for a massage and set out to enjoy it. Allow yourself to slip off into a nice dreamlike state of mind as the massage takes care of your muscles. Taking care of our muscles is a great way to give them a little thanks for doing our walking and carrying us around all over the place. If you think about it, we give very little thought about how much our body actually does for us. Yes we make some decisions to eat a bit better every now and again and to try and be nice to our body. Nothing is nicer than a long soothing massage. This would be another time of half falling asleep and just straight and simple relaxing. Although it might not be for everyone I do highly recommend it as it is a nice way to give something back to our body and we get to a relaxation state of mind by allowing the massage work for us so another double bonus right there. Isn't it funny how we can spend money on many less or more like trivial things and when it comes to ourselves, spending money on an expensive massage seems to be too expensive? It is your body and we do not have any replacement ones so I can only call it money well spent.

I can remember one time where I went to a spa type hotel and it was all about relaxation. I looked at the menu for the treatments and options available for me for the weekend. Checked in on a Friday night and had a few snack type tapas for an evening snack. The room had a little self catering available so the next morning was about making up a light lunch before the spa treatments. What spa treatments did I choose? It was a location where there were natural springs all around the hotel because of volcanic waters and hot springs. I chose to have a mineral bath and a mud bath followed by a massage. The total time for the treatments were set to be about 2 or 2 and half hours. Seemed a short time considering I was staying for two nights. So after a light lunch and some time floating in the pools I headed for the treatments. I was taken and shown the baths and did the treatments and then the mud bath and off to a massage room. Let me just say that it was an absolutely fabulous experience and something everyone should do at least once a year. It is as if an entire layer of my skin was scrubbed off me or something I mean my arms after it felt like they were someone else's, smooth and soft and like I had just had all new skin applied to me. My stomach felt great and my entire body and most importantly was relaxed. I do get it that it might not be for everyone but it is just another sort of relaxation remedy I found extremely useful. Having a mud bath was a new experience for me and it did feel a little weird at first but I can tell you honestly the weirdness didn't last too long and the results afterwards were amazing.

It is important that we look after our body, mind and spirit if we are to take relaxing seriously. Many will say it is not easy and they never can find the time to do anything for themselves, then if this is the case, stop and slow everything down. Find room in your schedule to pencil in a few dates that you can whiz off to a spa and be pampered. You deserve it. Remembering of course that if we do not relax our body and we do not slow down our mind we are just forcing ourselves to move closer and closer to our grave where yes, we will end up anyway, but it will be nice to go there knowing we have been very nice to ourselves and our body.
As a man it is a different story to be heading off for spa days and taking time out of life for massages etc etc. I found that heading to a salon for men is a great way to pass a few hours. Get a hair cut and a beard trim is a nice soothing experience and if they have massage available then choose one every so often. Get a pedicure, allow someone touch your feet and cut your nails etc. These things are all great ways to recharge the batteries and formulas for a very successful week. There is nothing more powerful inside of ourselves than feeling "on". This energy that comes out of us when we are at our most relaxed is almost something others can sense from us and they tend to stand back and almost like lead the way for us to continue on a very successful path in life. It is something we ooze when we are relaxed. Our happiness is so raw and natural that people are ready to lift us up to meet our goals. All of a sudden and for what seems like no apparent reason people are helping us. The road blocks of life just seem to shift out of the way and we can master anything. This is all very possible and very amazing to experience and feel. So when you are "on" you are ON!
I have given you some of the methods I use and why they are or were important to me. The key piece of it all has been peace & relaxation. Getting to a stage in our lives where relaxing is actually important. There are so many ways in which relaxing can help our bodies, the body needs some love and care and some mellow out time. It is through relaxing all of our organs and stuff inside can work just a little better and with so much more ease. Ease is a great word to think of right here. To take it easy would be an expression to suggest relax. There is a key element to the opposite of uneasy, to suggest at ease. I present to you another word which is worth consideration in regards to relaxing and why it is very important to us and our body, Disease, yup Dis~Ease. There are many readings and writings on disease and stress related illness that I hope you are taking note of the point I am making here. Disease, think of when you get a dripping nose or some flu type infection. Many will ask you if you are feeling run down, are you down and in a bad place emotionally right now? Bags under your eyes from not enough sleep perhaps? Sometimes we can get these little white blister type things inside of our mouths on the inside of our cheeks for example, they say it is a sign of being tired or run down. It is in these times that other types of infections seem to creep in and grab a hold of our bodies. This marks the importance of relaxing and taking care of ourselves. In order to help begin on a journey of finding ways to relax a super key element is to work on our own sleep pattern. It is very important to ensure we are getting enough sleep and even though that late night snack or an evening meal which is a little too late in the evening, even though it seems like a great idea, it is wise not to eat too heavily before bedtime as our body will continue working on processing everything we just ate while we sleep. We may wake up the next day and feel like we just got no value from our sleep. This can lead to a down type of day just from simple tiredness, which then in turn can bring about some infection in our body.

As an alternate to this of course is the feeling good and being up beat and fresh for any day. Having had plenty of sleep and feeling good, it makes sense that if our body is easily run down by lack of sleep or lack of relaxing then it is very simple to make the connection to our mental state of mind and how clear our own head is. When we are lacking in sleep we can present physical ailments like the white blisters inside of our mouth. Another tell tale sign of this is tiny little white pimple type things that can appear just below our eyelids. These little white pimples are tiny and can be hard to notice but again a sign. All this being tiny signs of the possible onset of something worse can be due to lack of sleep.
When we are emotionally drained and lacking in ability to feel our emotions it is also possible to become down and is another time when disease and infection can creep into our life. So emotional health is as important as physical. When we are avoiding our own feelings it is possible to become constipated even, this type of physical lack of system working can again bring about disease inside of our body and so it shows us how important emotional health is too.
Relaxing plays a massive part in how we develop and continue in our lives. The physical benefits are massive and I suppose the obvious "go to guy" when we think of the benefits of relaxation. Where we may forget to consider is our emotional health as well.
The benefits of relaxation can be equally important to our mental health also.
RELAXATION
Important for physical health. Avoid disease.
Important for our emotional health. Avoid disease.
Important for our mental health. Avoid disease.
Three very key reasons to take a serious look at relaxing more in your life time.

We can pamper our body and feel really well. A good massage can help relieve any constipation even just like we do when we are dealing with a new born baby and we can massage their little tummy to help them pass what they need to do.
We can soak ourselves in the bath tub with awesome music playing or attend the symphony and be one with the music, this can release emotions from our body and help from being backed up so to speak and help us maintain an emotional and physical health balance inside of ourselves and in our life.
So now it only stands to reason by process of association of relaxing and being at ease versus the process of being not at ease and the possibility for infection from disease. It is then very important we give some thought to mental health as well. Freeing our mind up to allow us the moments we need to feel and the moments that we need to feel physically well too. Seeking out a balance where it would allow us to feel good, feel at ease and feel super fabulous in our own (new) skin. All these are wonderful but what if we cannot slow down our mind long enough to allow ourselves slip off into the music. What if the steam room at the gym is not relaxing to us and what if the mud baths or the shopping and sleeping in new sheets are just not enough and not allowing us to chill and relax? Why are they not allowing us to do, what is keeping us from half falling asleep during an expensive massage? Our mind
Yes our mind can prevent us enjoying any exercise we might try as relaxation. So we move from one thing a friend suggests to the next and never find any value out of any of them, we scroll the Internet for relaxation ideas and every time we try one of them we just never seem to grasp the concept or the feeling of being at ease. The mind, our head, our mental health is preventing us from taking it easy. Our thoughts will not slow down for long enough to give us a chance.
What can we do about that?
Something I have tried for many years now and I have found it to be very good. I do not need music and I do not need a weekend getaway to a spa resort either. Nope, I need to breathe. I need to allow my breathing be so focused that the only thing on my mind or in my feelings is the here and now of my breathing. When we breathe deeply and take some time to allow our mind to clear we can really begin to feel the benefits of our relaxation. We can begin to sleep more and much better too. Our breathing is the key or a key to trigger everything to work for us. I know it sounds funny when you attend a class or a talk of any kind and the speaker or teacher says, "now I would like you all to take in a deep breath & release". Something so simple as our own breathing can bring our mind down from all kinds of dramas and circumstances we have been concocting inside of our minds. Inside of the mental part of our mind, we can stay totally focused on 4000 thoughts a second inside of our head and we will find it very hard to gain benefit of any form or relaxation. I have tried the pampering and the shopping and massages and the music. The single thing that I have found most beneficial to all departments was to train myself to breathe. The breathing is slow and deep breaths in and exhale the same. We can train ourselves to just breathe. Nothing more, just breathe. It is a nice practice to train ourselves in to and a great way to become mindful of ourselves in all aspects of our mind. The physical element of breathing is massive and beyond what we might think. Scientifically our breathing is helping to bring in new oxygen which in turn goes to our muscles and helps them work. The breath we take in helps fill our lungs and then the lungs distribute blood with oxygen all around our body. Practicing our breathing is a difficult enough one to get a handle on and yet we do it all day every day. What is the difference if we are breathing every day and we are still stressed and always ill?

I say, try breathing and only breathing. Try breathing for 20 minutes, in and out slowly. Sometimes as I breathe in I will tense up some of my muscles, starting down at my toes and through my feet and on up to my legs and so on and so forth. It is through this time while breathing I will tell myself in my mind that as I breathe in I am delivering new oxygen to my lungs. As I think the thought I can feel the air filling up my chest area as I release the breath and exhale I relax my muscles and allow the exhale to carry out all the toxic stuff in my life or what may feel like a pain or two inside of my body. I can try to bring myself to a relaxed state by just focusing on my breathing. I focus on how it feels coming in to my body and I also focus on the "crap" that occurs when I exhale.
If we can slow down our breathing to a snails pace we can begin to feel. There is nothing more satisfying that feeling relaxed through our own breathing and seeing as you pointed out earlier of how we are breathing all of the time, I would say that yes we are breathing but are we taking deep breaths ad enjoying each one of them is it possible that right in the middle of a breathing exercise that we may start to feel emotions begin to slow as we relax each muscle as we exhale. I find that getting a massage at a spa may not help my mental health. I find that emotionally involved with music might feel good but not allow my mind to clear and relax.
However I find that breathing and practicing my breathing actually helps balance all three. Sometimes as I do my breathing I find all my muscles getting a little break and feeling better. I often times also feel well and feel new feelings come up and float away again while I focus on breathing. These connections are amazing really. If we can by combining all three stimulants together and spend a day at the spa getting pampered and we find ourselves too stressed for the sauna, then perhaps a breathing exercise will be the simplest one to achieve and help align our feelings with our thoughts and it is then that we can relax in any of the methods I have used in the past, meditative breathing is something we can all do. There are no membership forms to sign and no money out from the bank either, not expensive at all, just find some quiet time to yourself in a quiet place and practice breathing.
If we practice deep breathing exercises over a twenty minute period we can begin to form a habit inside of our mind and body that will help us become calm & allow our mind to clear. When we have developed the habit we can cut our times shorter if needs be and we can grab five minutes here and there cat hing a few deep breaths to help calm us at any given time in our day.

When we have mastered the habit and developed it within ourselves, we can then even get to two or three deep breaths at any time we feel our mind becoming a little rushed or cloudy. We can bring a pause to our life for up to one minute which can help relax us immediately. How can we go from majorly stressed or over worked mind to just one minute of breathing to calm ourselves? With practice is how we do it. We can train our entire mind and every time we stop for a pause and re align ourselves we can reap the benefits. It is the least expensive method of relaxation we can ever sign up for and in my own experience the most effective.
I am totally not saying we should not try a few of the more expensive treats for ourselves from time to time but the simplistic is so natural, cheap and amazingly, it works.

And they look at you funny ~ SO WHAT!

We all have little techniques for getting through each day, some are to make things a little easier and some are to make things harder. Do you know which ones have become which ones?

We may find ourselves at work with colleagues or in college with our peers, maybe even our life partner. Who knows exactly where as we are surrounded by people most of our days anyway.. We all have developed little ways by where we weave and bend differently to survive in our environwment. When somebody annoys us, we may tell ourselves to simply ignore them and it/they will go away.
We might even believe that we are not annoyed when we actually are. This can be something quite funny if we look at it "head on".

1 simple tool to deal with people and their games is all we need to manage our life on any given day.
A simple technique that can help make your own life that little bit more satisfying and simple.
What games?
The game or life, the head games, the control game or the game of gossip.

The cancer like nature in how negativity can be lurking in the hallways of your work place is clearly detectable. The gossip group may love to talk about you. Maybe even in your local community. What I have found is that people in general gossip because they do not know any different. Their intentions are never really with any real malice. However gossip is a vicious thing to be a part of. Though nobody wants to do you any real harm.

Sometimes it is not only gossip, all round general negativity can bring us down. We have our techniques to stay away from the people we know hold the title of "negative Nellie". Though they may well be that person that complains and moans about every little thing. They carry out their role of being negative perfectly. Do you think that they ever spent a moment in thought of how good they are at being negative?
Probably not.

One simple tool to help you along in your day.
I carry out this or more like adopt this attitude.
I throw my hands down in defeat. I give up on them.
Yes indeed I can hear you say, "why the defeatest type attitude". Surely I, who promotes "Never give up" as a way of life cannot give in so easily and be defeated by negativity and cancer like gossip.
To be honest, it is the simplest and best use of giving up that I have ever learned.

The technique is really simple.
I give up on the negativity and the people who spew it.
I give up on the gossips.
I give up on those who want to play mind games.
I give up on those who wish to be inside of my head and want to have some so called information to spread.
I give up on those around me who wish to drag me down.

By giving up on these people in these types of situations and games. We are by no means defeated.
What we are actually doing is separating ourselves from their game. The GAME of life is much larger that such petty types of people. By giving up on them we are stepping out of the game they wish to play.
By doing so we are taking over the power and control over our own life. We are taking a step to winning. We are taking a step closer to positive outcomes and positivity in our own lives.
This simple technique of throwing the hands down in defeat is a powerful tool in bringing much more joy into your own life.

When I say "Never give up"
I definutely mean it and more so perhaps am saying never give up on yourself.
To walk away from those who are no good for you, no good with you and no good about you. This is a strong key technique to understand how and when to give up.

What others have to say about you is really none of your business and by giving up caring how people may gossip about you or their opinions of you is a solid way to proceed along your own more upbeat path in life.
What anyone has to say about you is something that does not matter.
Any person's opinion of you is more about themselves than it is you.

Take some time to see the little games you may have been sucked in to. Take a step back and give up on them.
You do not have to prove anything to anybody.

How they see you does not matter and when you take this simple step towards improving your own mental health and well being, they will not know how to deal with you.
How strange indeed, by giving in and throwing the hands down, this simple step of giving up on other people's bullshit, you can rid yourself of so much negativity and create a whole new void inside of yourself that you can take your time with and fill in this void with joy and all things nice.

A simple yet powerful tool to help yourself to.

Oh how will they look at the new you? (😉)

For more tips and simple tools check out for yourself
Layman's Handbook in life by Aidan Mc Nally.

@TWOsonsTOOmany