Exponent II's Blog, page 279
December 25, 2017
Merry Christmas from Exponent!
“Nativity” by Brian Kershisnik
Merry Christmas from all of us here at Exponent!
You may have noticed our social media feed participating in the #LightTheWorld campaign by posting old posts on various Christmas themes. I’ve gathered them all here in one post. If you’re feeling dark or down this Christmas season, these posts may help you feel light and inspired!
The Christmas nativity story is a parable about how we can #LightTheWorld by giving of ourselves.
As you #LightTheWorld by giving drink to those who are thirsty, enjoy this desert Christmas poem.
#LightTheWorld this Christmas by healing someone’s pain. Love thy neighbor as thyself.
#LightTheWorld this Christmas. Thank your mom. Here’s a mother’s nativity poem.
#LightTheWorld this Christmas by loving your enemies. Live the gospel of peace.
#LightTheWorld this Christmas by becoming an organ donor.
#LightTheWorld this Christmas by blessing those who are mourning due to recent tragedies.
“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” #LightTheWorld
#LightTheWorld this Christmas with mercy. How do you show compassion?
#LightTheWorld this Christmas through worship. Enjoy the traditions of our own faith and others.
#LightTheWorld this Christmas by forgiving someone.
#LightTheWorld and rejoice! It’s almost Christmas! Here’s our Christmas playlist.
She who has the most stuff does not #LightTheWorld more! Let’s avoid Christmas materialism.
#LightTheWorld this Christmas by following the example of Christ.
#LightTheWorld this Christmas by befriending someone who is going through a difficult time.
#LightTheWorld this Christmas with prayer. There are a thousand ways to pray.
December 24, 2017
By Divine Design by Elder Rasband Lesson Plan
By Divine Design by Elder Rasband is a beautiful, feel-good talk. I really think this is a great way for everyone to feel the love of Christ. But please be aware and sensitive to those who are seeking and on paths that feel lonely. Remind the sisters as often as prompted that not all of the things we are seeking will be answered readily, but in the Lord’s time. The purpose is about building each other up, and recognizing the things in our lives that have been directed by God. The suggested LDS.org prompts is this:
To encourage discussion about Elder Rasband’s message, it might be helpful to invite a few members to bring a sewing pattern, a blueprint, or a recipe and talk about why these are helpful. What examples or teachings from Elder Rasband’s message inspire members to recognize God’s design for their lives? Perhaps class members could share experiences in which they saw the Lord was directing their lives. What have they done to show God that they “treasure” His direction? Why is it important to recognize God’s “divine design”?
I am not a huge fan of this, but you can use it if it suits you. In addition, I am not a fan of watching or listening to the conference talk in the actual lesson time. Thus, I suggest preparing some portions of the talk that you aim to discuss on slips of paper that can be handed out at the start of class for later discussion.
At least a week or two before the lesson, ask some members in the class to share stories that might be similar to the ones that Elder Rasband shared in his talk—things that happened to them and are “not just a coincidence”. The stories could be something as simple as how wives met their husbands, or more complex like how parents met the child they were to adopt, or running into missionaries when someone was “less active” or similar. I would try to keep these stories to less than five minutes per person, so you can have three to five people share their experiences. If people are too shy to share, then invite them to write their stories, then read them anonymously.
First, read or have someone read this quote from the talk:
Elder Neal A. Maxwell once explained: “None of us ever fully utilizes the [image error]people-opportunities allocated to us within our circles of friendship. You and I may call these intersectings ‘coincidence.’ This word is understandable for mortals to use, but coincidence is not an appropriate word to describe the workings of an omniscient God. He does not do things by ‘coincidence’ but … by ‘divine design.’”5
Our lives are like a chessboard, and the Lord moves us from one place to another—if we are responsive to spiritual promptings. Looking back, we can see His hand in our lives.
Next, invite the people who you have asked to share some “not just a coincidence” experiences. Allow for this to take up about half of the lesson time.
Next, hand these quotes out and discuss:
Significant events unfold in the gospel and in the Church that further the kingdom of God on earth. They are not by accident but by God’s plan. He who fashioned this world can calm the seas with His word and can steer both Alma and Amulek and Nephi and Laban to be at the right place at precisely the right time.
Likewise, events and associations unfold in each of our lives that further God’s work on earth.
[image error] When we speak of things like this, it can be sometimes confusing—it may sound like we have a lack of agency, or as if everything is ultimately foreordained. How is God’s working with us by ‘divine design’ different to fore-ordination?
Now, where does our agency fit in a “divine design”? We have a choice to follow or to not follow our Savior and His chosen leaders. The pattern is clear in the Book of Mormon when the Nephites had turned away from the Lord. Mormon lamented:
“And they saw … that the Spirit of the Lord did no more preserve them; yea, it had withdrawn from them because the Spirit of the Lord doth not dwell in unholy temples—
“Therefore the Lord did cease to preserve them by his miraculous and matchless power, for they had fallen into a state of unbelief and awful wickedness.”
How can we tell which choices are the best choices?
(Sometimes, I think especially for women, it can be very difficult to balance following the Saviour in the way we are supposed to. What I mean is that we might find ourselves on a Thursday afternoon with the following choices: a) I can go to the temple, b) I can spend time with an elderly neighbour, and c) I can invite a less active friend out to get to know her better.
All of these choices are good—so which one should we choose? I think prayer is an imperative part in balancing the good choices that compete for our time.)
Most often, our good works are known to only a few. They are, however, recorded in heaven. One day, we will stand as a witness of our whole-souled devotion to works of righteousness. No trial or calamity can derail God’s plan of happiness. Indeed, by “divine design,” “joy cometh in the morning.”8 “I came into the world to do the will of [the] Father,”9 Jesus taught. Dear brothers and sisters, so have we.
How are good works necessary for us to partake of the blessings of God’s divine design for us?
The Lord loves to be with us. It is no coincidence that when you are feeling His Spirit and acting on first promptings that you feel Him as He promised: “I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.”
How do you feel knowing that Christ will go before you, and is surrounding you as you follow promptings that might otherwise be scary or even uncomfortable to you? Can following the spirit give us confidence?
When we are righteous, willing, and able, when we are striving to be worthy and qualified, we progress to places we never imagined and become part of Heavenly Father’s “divine design.” Each of us has divinity within us. When we see God working through us and with us, may we be encouraged, even grateful for that guidance. When our Father in Heaven said, “This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man,”20 He was talking about all of His children—you in particular.
Consider this sentence alone: Each of us has divinity within us. How does that make you feel about yourself? How does that make you feel about your child, your spouse, your friends and even your enemies? How can we encourage the divinity from within each other to rise up?
Elder Rasband: Each of us is precious and loved by the Lord, who cares, who whispers, and who watches over us in ways unique to each of us. He is infinitely wiser and more powerful than mortal men and women. He knows our challenges, our triumphs, and the righteous desires of our hearts.
Write this on the board, or even have it prepared on handouts for the class:
{insert your name}, you are precious and loved by the Lord, who cares, who whispers, and who watches over you in ways that are unique to you and your life. He is infinitely wiser and more powerful than mortal men and women. He knows your challenges, your triumphs, and the righteous desires of your hearts.
How does this make you feel to know that God knows your challenges, no matter how big or small– right now?
Bear your testimony of how each of us is a divine daughter of Heavenly Parents, and that our Heavenly Parents knows us intimately and individually.
The Trek Continues by Elder M. Russell Ballard Lesson Plan
The Trek Continues by Elder M. Russell Ballard is actually quite a lovely General Conference talk, and could be taken in many different directions. The suggested LDS.org prompts is this:
To begin a discussion about Elder Ballard’s message, you could invite someone to share an experience when they had a destination but discovered they were on the wrong route. How do examples like these relate to our personal “trek” back to Heavenly Father? Members could then search for counsel and warnings that Elder Ballard gives that can help us know if we are headed in the right direction in our own lives. Give members time to ponder their own paths and to discuss ways we can help and encourage others in their “trek” back to Heavenly Father.
I do not mind this, but I would amend the questions to reflect Heavenly Mother and/or Heavenly Parents rather than just “Heavenly Father.”
Now, personally, I am not a fan of watching or listening to the conference talk in the actual lesson time.[image error] Thus, I suggest preparing some portions of the talk that you aim to discuss on slips of paper that can be handed out at the start of class. If possible, I suggest looking up the history of the chapel you meet in, or some local church history in your area and sharing it with the class. The purpose of this is to help everyone feel an integral part of the church’s history, and not just the early Saints who went on trek in the United States. As the title of the talk suggests, “The trek continues…” it also implies that the trek never ended. Thus, no matter where you worship, local pioneers helped build the chapels and establish the congregation where you are meeting. Give them some attention, respect and gratitude! For example:
What year was the chapel you meet in constructed?
If it was constructed before the 1980’s, see if there are any records or see if there are older church members who might recall what people did as fundraisers to help build that chapel.
Who dedicated the chapel where you worship?
See if you can get a copy of the dedicatory prayer, and see what blessings were promised to those who would attend church there.
(you may choose to do the following for your closest temple rather than your ward building)
Next, (or if the above is not feasible) hand the papers out and discuss each in whatever order you choose. My examples are listed chronologically in the talk as follows:
Despite their many differences in language, culture, and nationality, they shared a testimony of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and a desire to build Zion—a place of peace, happiness, and beauty in preparation for the Second Coming of the Savior.
[image error]In 2018, how can church members in a politically, socially and culturally diverse world connect as one? What can we do locally to connect ourselves to church members in our home wards? What can we do to better fellowship those who have differing cultural or political preferences?
The early Saints were not perfect, but they established a foundation upon which we are building families and a society that love and keep covenants, which is highlighted in various news stories around the world because of our commitment to Jesus Christ and our volunteer efforts to help those nearby and far away.
Is anyone in here perfect? What can we do to build a foundation for Christ in spite of our imperfections?
I have a deep conviction that if we lose our ties to those who have gone before us, including our pioneer forefathers and mothers, we will lose a very precious treasure. I have spoken about “Faith in Every Footstep” in the past and will continue in the future because I know that rising generations must have the same kind of faith that the early Saints had in the Lord Jesus Christ and His restored gospel.
How does connecting to pioneers—be it the Pioneers following Brigham Young in America, to the young missionaries who first established church branches outside of North America—help us to develop our testimonies? Why is it important for us to be in tune with our history?
Although it is appropriate and important to remember the historic 19th-century Mormon pioneer trek, we need to remember that “the trek through life continues!” for each of us as we prove our own “faith in every footstep. New converts no longer gather to pioneer settlements in the western United States. Instead, converts gather to their local congregations, where the Saints worship our Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ. With more than 30,000 congregations established around the world, all are gathered to their own Zion. As the scriptures note, “For this is Zion—the pure in heart.”
What can you do to help your local ward to feel like Zion? Are there some friendships [image error]that could be mended? Are there personality clashes that could and should be softened and amended?
Close by bearing your testimony that life is a journey and that we are all progressing at different rates and in different ways.
If possible: Have this following quote as a final handout for people to take home and ponder. Feel free to bear your testimony about any hard-won “multiplicity of blessings” you may have experienced in your life.
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Many of us are on amazing journeys of discovery—leading to personal fulfillment and spiritual enlightenment. Some of us, however, are on a trek that leads to sorrow, sin, anguish, and despair.
In this context, please ask yourself: What is your final destination? Where are your footsteps taking you? And is your journey leading you to that “multiplicity of blessings” the Savior has promised?
December 23, 2017
Bound Feet
In third grade, my teacher taught us a little about China. The only thing I remember was that I heard of China’s ancient custom of footbinding for the first time. I learned that very young girls would have their feet bound so tightly that toes and bones of the feet were broken to adhere to a cultural beauty standard. The forefoot and heel were brought toward each other in an unnatural arch that made walking difficult. Even as a child I was appalled to hear of this tortuous practice that girls younger than me had been subjected to for a thousand years, trying to get their feet as small as 4 inches. That was considered the gold beauty standard. At the time I didn’t realize that women in my own culture also suffered for beauty.
As I grew up I learned about corsets, plucking, shaving, high heels, and cosmetic surgery. I burned myself trying to fix my hair with a curling iron. Foot binding still seemed barbaric, but gradually my view of my own culture also admitted barbarity in what was expected of or tried by women to adhere to a beauty standard. I learned of anorexia and bulimia, ‘nose jobs’, and ‘tummy tucks’. I am inclined to look at extreme beauty customs as a perversity. Gradually among my own adult female friends I have heard things about wanting a ‘mommy makeover’. Apparently, the sacrifice our bodies go through to bring children into this world is acceptable only as long as it doesn’t permanently change our bodies. We must ‘fix’ them by liposuction of the belly, removing saggy skin to make it taut, and surgically ‘lift’ the breasts that have grown heavy and then empty again after nourishing new life.
Lately, I have been thinking about this footbinding practice. As in many patriarchal practices, it was most often chosen by the mother to make her daughter more attractive to a future potential mate. Apparently it was considered a luxury to afford an ornamental wife with ‘lotus feet’, and it was difficult to marry off a daughter who had regular functional feet. The small crippled feet and awkward gait became aligned with sexual attractiveness. As a mother, I like to think that I would never subject my daughter to such a practice, that I would never restrict her natural growth to make her more attractive to society. But the truth is, we all do it. In what ways do we restrict our daughters as they grow into women? Every time we accept a worldview that marginalizes women or restricts their opportunities and life expectations solely due to their sex.
In many areas of the world, educational opportunities for girls and women are restricted. Women and girls in many areas cannot own property or land. Many areas of the world do not guarantee equal rights for women and girls by law. In certain areas girls are still subjected to “honour” killings, female genital mutilation, trafficking, restricted mobility, and early marriage. Some areas restrict healthcare for women and girls. If we want to unbind our sisters, I feel we should challenge systems that continue to bind women’s figurative feet. Women will only be able to walk on their own feet when society allows girls and women equal access to health services, education and information, employment, ownership, and political voice.
I live in America, where privilege sometimes blinds us to the conditions under which others live. I grew up in the LDS church in a deeply orthodox family. I heard lip service given to the idea that men and women in the church are ‘equal’, while at the same time I was observing practices that seemed to indicate otherwise. I feel that girls in the church are conditioned to expect less. As in many areas of the world, Mormon women are expected to carry out the lion’s share of manual, emotional, and mental labor in the family, with a primary responsibility for household production, meals, and childrearing. Girls and boys in the church grow up seeing men in most positions of leadership and authority. The general authorities who I looked to for the words of God taught me that a woman’s place is primarily in the home, that the ideal woman walked quietly by her husband’s side and sustained him by supporting his him in church responsibilities. To me it seemed that basically a woman takes care of all the day-to-day stuff so a man can be freed up to do the ‘important’ things. In patriarchal systems men take on more prestigious tasks, and any task performed routinely by men will become more prestigious than tasks routinely performed by women; while tasks taken on by women will become less prestigious just because women do them.
Sex has definitely defined and circumscribed roles and aspirations of girls in the church. Girls who thought they’d like to pass the sacrament when they got older were quickly told that although it was a righteous ambition for their male classmates, it was unrighteous for her. Girls would see their brothers ordained to the priesthood, given God’s power and authority to act in God’s name, while even their righteous mothers can not. In fact, they are not allowed to want it, and will be quickly criticized and corrected. Women are encouraged to perform invisible supportive roles, and are excluded from visible roles, even those that don’t require priesthood.
I wonder if we are binding our daughters’ ambitions. Are we ‘binding’ them by teaching them to unilaterally submit to external authority figures without teaching them of their own internal spiritual authority? Are we binding our girls by teaching them that however ‘things are’ is because that is ‘the way God wants it’? Are we teaching our daughters to be meek and submissive so they will be more likely to get a mate and ‘fit in’? Does something break inside them when they are raised in this system? Is their growth restricted by being bound?
My view of the gospel is that the only binding we should be doing is binding up wounds and broken hearts. Sexist attitudes that become entrenched subliminally from a young age by observing policies in the church are not necessarily God’s way, and we should be careful to not pass on harmful imbalanced policies as if they were doctrine.
December 21, 2017
Finding Heavenly Mother in the Nativity
Growing up, the most coveted costume in our nativity box was Mary. Unlike the other ramshackle pieces—a few foil-covered cardboard crowns, some tinsel halos, a couple of old bathrobes, and half a dozen shepherd’s headdresses made of hand towels—Mary’s costume was an unblemished band of smooth, blue fabric. When it was double-looped, it made both a hair covering and a maternity robe, easily concealing the smudgy plastic baby doll that would miraculously appear as the Christ child just seconds after Mary settled in at her makeshift stable.
We had only one Mary costume, which seems appropriate as there’s only one Mary in the scene. But we were family of six girls, and we each wanted to be Mary every year.
We didn’t say so, of course. Saying you wanted to be Mary was the least Mary-like thing you could do, which meant you were less likely to be given the role. Instead, we pawed through the costumes, each of us running a hand over the blue fabric, pretending not to care who would be wrapped in Mary’s robes that year.
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Plenty of male parts in the Nativity.
There was no rotation, no method to ensure that all was fair and equal in the casting of Mary each year. I seem to remember my older sister playing Mary more often than not, though we each had our turn eventually. The sisters who were not in the Holy Family had to double up on parts, so I came to identify myself as both a shepherd and a wise man in order to steel myself against the disappointment of not being Mary. Again.
We tried to feminize the other parts as much as possible. We dressed the angel Gabriel in a shimmery white skirt, pretending that he, too, was a female lead. We had a female innkeeper, wise women from the east, and shepherdesses watching their flocks. The only one explicitly male character was Joseph, and his part was often performed by my dad, decked in his own brown bathrobe and head towel.
Our Nativity was not what you might call accurate, but it was performed with love and reverence, despite our lack of men and boys. It remains one of the most spiritually potent rituals of my youth.
And yet, as an adult, I can’t help but quarrel with the casting.
Like so many of our roles in Mormondom, most of the important parts are played by men. In our art, our hymns, our primary songs, women don’t wear crowns, halos, or shepherd headdresses. Women are the background extras, the characters most easily cut from the mise-en-scène.
This is why Mary’s existence is something of a miracle in the Christmas story. In a religion that revolves largely around male characters—male Savior, male God, male priests, male prophets, male apostles, male writers and translators of scripture—Mary is one of a handful of women we actually celebrate at church.
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And yet, our depictions of Mary are still largely patriarchal. The Mary of Mormonism is largely a glorified vessel for the divine. Sure, she displays a few admirable qualities: willingness to serve, tenderness, and at the very least a parent’s instinct to wrap a baby in something and to set it down somewhere safe and not-on-the-ground. Other than that, we don’t know much about her. She’s mostly absent from the Biblical narrative. We might read descriptions of her whereabouts, but we don’t hear her voice or see her actions.
Then, of course, is the issue of her virginal status. Like many women, Mary has been used to police sexual purity among Christian women for centuries. She sets a literally impossible standard for women to achieve: become mothers, she says, but not through sex. I sometimes worry that by venerating Mary, I’m not celebrating the many other meaningful identities available to women outside of maidenhood and motherhood. Instead I worry that I’m simply propping up the machines that have kept women underfoot for most of human history.
And yet, I can’t dismiss Mary. She remains one of the most mysterious and revered women in religious history.
She gave birth to and raised God, which sets her in a world apart from other scriptural heroes—above priests, apostles, and even prophets. In other denominations of Christianity, she’s often celebrated as a universal mother figure. She’s wise, kind, and forgiving—a compassionate intercessor on behalf of all humanity in the face of sin and evil.
But Mormons don’t worship Mary—not in the way many other Christians do. To us, she’s a revered woman, though no more perhaps than Eve or Sarah, Esther or Ruth. And though we might think of them fondly, we do not approach them in prayer or worship them. And yet, to me there’s always been something different about Mary.
On the one hand, we have the historic Mary, the one patched together by Biblical scholars. Except for the bare fact of her existence, scholars tell us that Mary is almost completely invisible from actual historic records. We can speculate about her life and origins, but we don’t know her.
On the other hand, we have Mary from Mormondom and Christianity. This Mary is a sweet and tender young woman who loved God and loved motherhood, both admirable qualities. She was a “precious and chosen vessel,” a singer of lullabies, a woman who “kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.”
But there’s a third representation of Mary that rides the undercurrent of feminist Mormon spirituality. That’s the role of Mary, Holy Mother, a woman Tresa Edmunds calls the “closest avatar we have to our heavenly mother.”
To me, this representation is at once the most satisfying and the most heartbreaking—an apt duality in her nature. This is the representation of Mary that sees her as a version of Heavenly Mother herself. This depiction is satisfying in the sense that I finally see deity wearing the robes of womanhood. It’s an acknowledgement that I’m the daughter of Heavenly Parents, not simply a motherless child in the scheme of divine existence.
And yet, it’s heartbreaking, too. I see so little of Heavenly Mother represented in my religious tradition that I grasp at even the smallest resemblance. This cracks open my heart in a different way. I should be able to see representations of my actual Heavenly Mother at church, to speak freely about my spiritual experiences with Her, to pray to and worship and revere Her in the same way I do my Heavenly Father. Mormons should speak of Her, we should know more of Her nature and Her works. When I see Her in Mary, I cling to Her image. I tease it out. I even play-act.
In this way, I feel I almost know Her, though I want to know Her better. Always. I want to see myself reflected in Her divinity, to wrap myself in Her smooth blue fabric, to draw on Her endless wisdom and goodness. I long to be mothered by Her, to drink deeply of her love, to stand rooted in Her wild power. And though She’s still nothing more than shadows on a cave wall, I’m learning to be like Her, to follow her dance, to find myself sung in her deep and sacred song.
December 18, 2017
Q&A: Why aren’t Mormon feminists thrilled with the new LDS temple baptistry policy?
[image error]I have heard from many men and a few women who are confused about the underwhelming response of feminists, including myself, to the LDS Church’s announcement that youth roles, particularly male youth roles, will be expanded in Mormon temple baptistries. I cannot speak for all feminists, but on behalf of myself, let me explain.
“But this will be such a good experience for the Young Men!”
I don’t doubt that. I want our young men to have good experiences. Church leaders have taught that members must be given meaningful assignments in order to feel needed and engaged in the Church, and I believe them. However, passing the sacrament, scouting, and exercising the priesthood are already opportunities for Young Men that exclude Young Women, and extending additional new opportunities to Young Men that exclude Young Women (in this case, the opportunities to baptize and serve as official witnesses in the temple) increases the gender inequity in the church that already alienates so many of our Young Women.
“But the girls got a new assignment too!”
I said, “meaningful assignments.” Busywork is not equality. Female temple workers do not need Young Women to serve as their “assistants” because women do not have a lot to do in the temple baptistry; they are banned from most of the work. Women are not allowed to baptize, to serve as witnesses, to confirm, to stand in the confirmation circle, to welcome patrons to the temple, to check temple recommends, to keep records, or even to feed names into the projector. With so many bans in place, women often sit to the side watching or receive the kind of assignment that could easily be performed by inanimate objects like towel hooks and laundry baskets. Young Women will not feel needed if their work is literally not needed.
“But this policy change is necessary! There aren’t enough adult men to staff the baptistry!”
Yes, banning women from so many assignments yields staffing shortages. But Mormon women are ready and willing to fill these roles and do the work. In fact, not too long ago, Ordain Women asked church leaders to consider just allowing women to officially witness ordinances—even if they maintain bans on women officiating. Instead, the LDS church is dealing with the shortage by opening temple baptistry witnessing and officiation to male children, creating one more venue where Mormon women are subordinate to their adolescent sons.
“But I mopped water in the baptistry once and it was a good experience for me. Why are women complaining?”
I hope we all have a good attitude when it is our turn to rotate through some of the more menial tasks associated with the work of the church. However, please keep in mind that men have the privilege of rotating while women are barred from many other opportunities men enjoy. Being permanently assigned to menial labor is different from occasionally rotating through it.
“But I asked my daughter/wife/female friend, and she doesn’t want to baptize/witness/welcome patrons/feed names into the projector.”
Then no one should make her do those things. However, that is not a good reason to bar other women who would welcome the opportunity.
December 17, 2017
The Spiritual Practice of Writing Poetry
One of the most engaging spiritual practices that I have tried this year is writing poetry. I’m not a successful maker of things and my attempts at crafts and baking usually look like bona fide Pinterest fails. Words are my jam. For the last several months I’ve walked around with a small notebook in my bag and whenever an idea strikes, I take a few minutes to scribble out a poem. If I have a little extra time on the weekend, I sit down with intention and think of something to write about. At a later time, I transfer my poems into my computer, making edits in the process. I used to be an intense journaler, but I no longer have the time or energy to spend an hour writing each day. I never spent much time re-reading journal entries, but I do like to re-read and revise my poems. They have more ongoing value to me.
Typically, these poems are about things I’ve been feeling or experiencing. Writing them is a process of reflection and completing these mini reflections has brought me new understanding and peace, but also joy. I haven’t had a creative outlet in a long time and this new-to-me spiritual practice feels deeply fulfilling. I worked in a university art department for 10 years as an art historian and all around me people were making things and creating at many different levels. During that time, I produced thousands of words of academic articles, book chapters, presentations, and blog posts, but nothing of beauty in and of itself, though I am proud of all of that work. For me, writing poetry fills that desire to create, to craft, to make something else. Writing poems connects me to a tradition of spiritual communication that women, including Mormon women, have practiced for a long time.
Nearly all of my poems, especially in a first draft state, are poor to mediocre in quality. I have come to realize that the benefit I receive from this spiritual practice is not tied to the quality of the poems. But I’ve also learned that I can improve my poetry, if I want, with a lot of revision. To end, I will leave you with a poem about poems…
Lists
My life runs on lists
Shopping lists
To-do lists
Criteria for assignments
Students
Calendars
Without lists
There is nothing
Poems are lists
Lists of words
Phrases
Images
Ideas
They are my creative lists
My memory lists
My feelings lists
A different way
To sort
Keep track of
Myself
December 16, 2017
Best of 2017
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These are the best things I discovered in 2017 – many of them have existed for much longer than that, but the world is too large and I am too small.
Podcast:
I really like podcasts, but all the ones I listen to regularly [1] are “2-3 men conversing about semi-random topics”, and I was craving women’s voices. I had no idea how to find a similar podcast hosted by women, so I tried a few feminine-coded words and downloaded a bunch of episodes. The one that’s stuck has been Feminist Killjoys, PhD.
Their focus on self-care and social justice help me find balance between acknowledging negative structures that we can’t individually do a lot about, and channelling energy in productive ways to make the improvements we can.
Fiction Book:
With a narrative that meanders between connected individuals and their own stories, A General Theory of Oblivion fed me this year in the way that the best fiction does. It begins in Angola, and chronicles some of the consequences of its independence from Portugal through very personal interactions (and in large part a lack of interaction as the main character barricades herself into an apartment). The novel spans 30 years, and I felt the weight of them in an enriching way.
Nonfiction Book:
I have loved every book by Adam Miller that I’ve read so far, and The Sun Has Burned My Skin: A Modest Paraphrase of Solomon’s Song of Songs is no exception. It felt very appropriate that this modest paraphrase of Song of Solomon was available for purchase on my wedding day. The call-and-response structure, and the simple, modern language enlarged and magnified my belief that truly experiencing and sharing love with one other person connects us to the divine. I need to let these words settle with a few more readings. Scripture is at times elusive, it asks us to bring much of ourselves, and the speed with which I devoured this book unfortunately means that I left much to discover in its pages, but I plan to write a more meaty review next year. For now, buy it and read it yourself, or give it to your partner (or anyone who has or had or looks forward to having a partner).
Best Chocolate:
Okay, maybe this isn’t the best chocolate in the world, but this year I learned that Happy Hippos exist, and they’re like adorable Fererro Rocher (without the whole nut in the middle), and even though I sometimes call them Hungry Hippos by mistake, I’m so glad they exist in this crazy, mixed-up world.
Best TV Show:
I guess this award should go to Michael Shur who co-created these shows, but I didn’t write the rules of this post. (Or, I did, but I’m not changing them now).
After we finished Brooklyn Nine-Nine, we turned to Parks and Recreation, and I’m so sad that we’re already almost at the end of Season 6. I’ve heard that The Good Place is a worthy follow-up, but I’m so going to miss hanging out with Leslie Knope, who seems never to tire in her efforts to make her town a better place — not to mention the many goofballs, geeks and other characters who make up her community.
Best Game:
I know more than one family whose evening TV time was completely usurped by Stardew Valley. My husband and I have been surprised by midnight more than once as we played side by side, and we only expect that to become more frequent when the multiplayer patch is released early next year.
Sometimes digital doesn’t hit the right spot, though. We usually turn to Adventure Time Fluxx when we want something more physical, and only have a little while. The rules and goals change as you play the game, which can occasionally be frustrating when one round goes on too long, but the fast-paced, over-in-a-flash games are much more common (and super fun).
What’s new to you this year that you want to share with us all?
[1] In case you need something new to listen to:
Technology: Accidental Tech Podcast
Philosophy: Roderick on the Line (start at episode 0)
Productivity: Back to Work (the earliest episodes are evergreen; current ones have a lot of in-jokes, and begin with discussion of comics, home automation, customer service or buddhism among other topics)
Politics: Pod Save America
December 15, 2017
What are women (and now girls) allowed to do in an LDS temple baptistry?
[image error]The news that Young Men are now allowed to baptize and serve as official witnesses in Temple Baptistries, while Young Women may “assist with baptistry assignments currently performed by sister ordinance workers and volunteers” has led many to ask, what are those assignments again?
This lovely post by a female temple worker describes the work women (and now girls) are allowed to do in the baptistry (hint: towels).
It also describes the many tasks that only men (and now boys) are allowed to do, such as:
Baptize
Serve as witnesses
Officiate confirmations
Welcome patrons to the temple
Feed names into the projector (seriously)*
*Please note that there is scriptural precedent for this, since women in the Bible never used projector equipment.
December 14, 2017
Church Announces Boys Can Do More
Guest post by Adela. Adela is a lifelong church member who lives in New England with her family. She is in the toddler-mom phase of life, and is spending a lot of time at the gym these days.
Once again, in a bold policy move, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints declares to the world the special place of contempt which it reserves especially for women and girls.
[image error]“We needed it to look like equality,” explained one senior white man, on the condition of anonymity. “Allowing teenagers to do the work of adults was a great way to decrease the burden of local Melchizedek Priesthood holders around the world. When it comes down to it, a 12-year-old girl has the same authority as a grown woman, and so we saw no reason to deny her the opportunity to mop up water while her older brother is acting as a witness, officially marking ordinance cards, or holding his girlfriend close while he romantically baptizes her.”
It has not escaped notice that this announcement comes at a time when the church is focusing specifically on youth outreach efforts. “Who knows,” said the Ward Executive Secretary, “maybe this will help girls to earlier understand their place in the order of the Church and in the scheme of Heaven.” Indeed, it seems likely that the increased disparity between the sexes at an even earlier age is likely to teach the youth that spiritual power and authority rests primarily with those of the male sex.
Recent efforts to equalize the experiences of young men and young women, such as lowering the missionary age and decreasing the age gap between male and female missionaries, as well as discontinuing the scouting program for teenage boys, have been seen in some circles as too acquiescing to modern (read: feminist) sensibilities. In an attempt to reinstate patriarchal norms, other opportunities for sex-based discrimination in youth programs were examined carefully for patriarchy-reinforcing potential.
“We also considered giving adult women the right to witness, since they do have eyes, but ultimately we determined that teenage boys who snap girls’ bra straps are more qualified.” The General Authority declined to be named, but continued, “We hope the boys will rise to the occasion. There’s ice- cream afterwards, so they will be properly motivated.”
Some members mistakenly believe that the sister responsible for giving each person a towel on their way out of the baptismal font holds authority, and represents the arms of Heavenly Mother welcoming her children home. “Not so,” denies one Assistant High Priest Group Leader. “That sister does the important job of traffic control, and is directly responsible for the critical work of getting wet girls covered as quickly as possible.” That righteous women across Mormondom secretly hold this very exclusive space sacred and feel the honor of it is not a sentiment vocally honored, or even recognized, by anyone holding authority.
It is our hope that because of this move, women and girls around the world will recognize the blatant gender discrimination involved in denying the personhood of women; not that it would change anything.
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