Exponent II's Blog, page 278

Relief Society Lesson: Jesus Christ is our example of honoring the Sabbath

[image error]In preparing this outline, I copied and pasted all the scriptures they suggested we study into a word document for easy reference.  It made six pages, single spaced.  This amount of text is overwhelming for any class to try to absorb.  I assume that anyone reading this post either has or intends to do the full scripture reading themselves, so I will not reiterate each scripture here.  Instead I provide a short bullet-pont summary.

What did Jesus do on the Sabbath?

Luke 6:

Picked corn, rubbed it between fingers
Disagreed openly with Pharisees
Quoted scripture
Taught in the synagogue
Read thoughts
Healed the man’s withered hand

Luke 13:

Healed a woman’s infirmity, seemingly a form of paralysis or a spinal issue
She glorifies God
He rebukes hypocrisy

John 5

Says to paralyzed man “take up thy bed and walk”
Testified of God to Pharisees, who were upset
Testifies he is the Son of God

John 9

Heals congenitally blind man
Explains that infirmities are not the result of sin
Makes clay
Testifies he does the Father’s work
Gives directions – he told the man to go to the pool of Siloam

In putting together this summary I noticed a few patterns of what the Savior did on the Sabbath

He rebukes hypocrisy and speaks truth to power regardless of personal risk
He does good for other people, especially those who he doesn’t know at all but whose needs present themselves
He testifies of God

To me, then, these three points form a good framework for discussion. One approach would be to divide into three groups, each with a designated facilitator (possibly warned in advance and armed with some discussion questions) to really delve in.  Alternatively, the entire class could discuss each topic collectively. 

Speaking Truth to Power

In every one of these stories, the Pharisees or the hypocrites murmer together and are upset by why Jesus is doing.

How do we sometimes act like Pharisees in this respect? What tendencies do we have as a culture to impose our own practices on the Sabbath worship of others? How can we become more like Christ and less like the Pharisees?
The Pharisees in this context were bullies, planning to hurt Christ. Have you even encountered bullying at church? At home? Professionally?

What does Christ’s example teach us about responding to these threats?
How can we identify bullying within our own congregations/homes and change these negative patterns?
How can you know if you are acting like a bully?
What are positive strategies for letting church leaders know if their approach to leadership is autocratic or harmful (however unintentional it may be?)


Is activism an appropriate Sabbath activity? In what ways?

Have you ever written to a lawmaker or other authority figure to express your views? Have you ever made public issues a matter of personal prayer followed by action? What were these experiences like for you?


Women in particular are often conditioned to be silent and to get along. How is speaking up compatible with meekness? Can a gentle personality also be bold? What can we do as a Relief Society to practice following the Savior’s example in speaking up when we need to? How can we better support one another as moral voices?

Doing good for others

Christ was on the lookout for opportunities to connect with those who are often overlooked

What groups of people are frequently marginalized? Has anyone had meaningful experiences serving with groups in this category?


Christ found creative solutions

Anointing eyes with mud has never before or since been a way of helping someone’s vision.
Have you ever had a creative solution to a problem? How can we be supportive of unconventional solutions from leaders? In what ways are our attitudes sometimes barriers to spiritual innovation?


Christ talked about it being lawful to do good on the Sabbath. How can you decide in your own life whether something fits with what the Savior would want?

 

Testifying of Christ and of the Father

When others questioned his actions, Christ explained that he was doing what the Father would want.

How can you bear testimony of Christ and the Father?
What actions can you do on the Sabbath to bear a non-verbal testimony of the Father?

Value beyond Measure by President Joy D. Jones Lesson Plan

[image error]In her 2017 talk, Value beyond Measure, General Primary President Joy D. Jones explains the concept of individual worth. This is a value that LDS girls study in detail during the Young Women program, but which applies just as well to Primary children, young men and adults.  Jones’ talk built on many of the principles described by her predecessor, President Rosemary M. Wixom, in her 2015 talk about another related Young Women value: divine nature. I will bring in insights from both Jones’ talk and Wixom’s talk: Discovering the Divinity Within.

Differentiating between Worth and Worthiness

As you discuss these quotes and scriptures,  keep a running list on the whiteboard of clarifications between worth and worthiness.

Let me point out the need to differentiate between two critical words: worth and worthiness. They are not the same. Spiritual worth means to value ourselves the way Heavenly Father values us, not as the world values us. Our worth was determined before we ever came to this earth. “God’s love is infinite and it will endure forever.” (D. Todd Christofferson, 2016)

On the other hand, worthiness is achieved through obedience. If we sin, we are less worthy, but we are never worth less! We continue to repent and strive to be like Jesus with our worth intact. As President Brigham Young taught: “The least, the most inferior spirit now upon the earth … is worth worlds.” (Brigham Young, 1861) No matter what, we always have worth in the eyes of our Heavenly Father. -President Joy D. Jones

Our divine nature has nothing to do with our personal accomplishments, the status we achieve, the number of marathons we run, or our popularity and self-esteem. Our divine nature comes from God. It was established in an existence that preceded our birth and will continue on into eternity. –President Rosemary M Wixom

The worth of a soul is its capacity to become as God. -an LDS Elders Quorum President, as quoted by Thomas S. Monson

Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God; For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him. Doctrine and Covenants 18:10-11

After the discussion, your list may look like this:

Worth
Worthiness




the way God and Christ value us
not how the world values us
constant/does not change
great/infinite
unaffected by sins or accomplishments
equal to our potential to become like God




achieved with obedience
temporarily lessened with sin
returns with repentance

Why do we need to distinguish between worth and worthiness?  How does failing to differentiate affect the way we think about ourselves and others? How does it affect how we treat ourselves and others?

Applying Our Understanding to Daily Life

Invite class members to silently read this excerpt from Value beyond Measure by General Primary President Joy D. Jones, looking for things they should do and should not do to apply their understanding of their divine worth to their daily lives. After time for silent reading, invite class members to help you make a list of do’s and don’ts on the board.

Despite this marvelous truth, how many of us struggle, from time to time, with negative thoughts or feelings about ourselves? I do. It’s an easy trap. Satan is the father of all lies, especially when it comes to misrepresentations about our own divine nature and purpose. Thinking small about ourselves does not serve us well. Instead it holds us back. As we’ve often been taught, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) We can stop comparing our worst to someone else’s best. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” (Theodore Roosevelt)

The Lord revealed this additional truth to the Prophet Joseph Smith: “He that receiveth of God, let him account it of God; and let him rejoice that he is accounted of God worthy to receive.” Doctrine and Covenants 50:34 When we feel the Spirit, as this verse explains, we recognize that what we feel comes from our Heavenly Father. We acknowledge Him and praise Him for blessing us. We then rejoice that we are counted worthy to receive.

Imagine that you are reading the scriptures one morning and the Spirit softly whispers to you that what you are reading is true. Can you recognize the Spirit and be happy that you felt His love and were worthy to receive?

Mothers, you might be kneeling next to your four-year-old as he says his bedtime prayer. A feeling flows over you as you listen. You feel warmth and peace. The feeling is brief, but you recognize that you, at that moment, are counted worthy to receive. We may seldom, if ever, receive huge spiritual manifestations in our lives; but we can frequently savor the sweet whisperings of the Holy Ghost verifying the truth of our spiritual worth.

In contrast, the Lord assures us that when we have virtuous thoughts, He will bless us with confidence, even the confidence to know who we really are. There’s never been a more crucial time to heed His words. “Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly,” He said. “Then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and … the Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion.” D&C 121:45-46

Sisters, because of what He did for us, “we are bound to him by loving ties.” (Edward L. Hart, Our Savior’s Love, Hymn 113) He said, “My Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me.” 3 Nephi 27:14

King Benjamin also explained this binding connection with our Savior: “And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people.” Mosiah 3:7 That suffering and the results of that suffering fill our hearts with love and gratitude. Elder Paul E. Koelliker taught, “As we remove the distractions that pull us toward the world and exercise our agency to seek Him, we open our hearts to a celestial force which draws us toward Him.” (Paul E. Koelliker, 2012) If the love we feel for the Savior and what He did for us is greater than the energy we give to weaknesses, self-doubts, or bad habits, then He will help us overcome the things which cause suffering in our lives. He saves us from ourselves.

Let me reemphasize: if the pull of the world is stronger than the faith and trust we have in the Savior, then the pull of the world will prevail every time. If we choose to focus on our negative thoughts and doubt our worth instead of clinging to the Savior, it becomes more difficult to feel the impressions of the Holy Ghost.

Sisters, let’s not be confused about who we are! While it is often easier to be spiritually passive than it is to put forth the spiritual effort to remember and embrace our divine identity, we cannot afford that indulgence in these latter days. May we, as sisters, “be faithful in Christ; … may Christ lift [us] up, and may his sufferings and death, … and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in [our minds] forever.” Moroni 9:25 As the Savior lifts us to higher ground, we can see more clearly not only who we are but also that we are closer to Him than we ever imagined. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

President Jones reminds us to let virtue garnish our thoughts.  Often, when we talk about virtuous thoughts, we are referring to chaste thoughts, but President Jones uses the term differently.  How does she describe virtuous thoughts? How can we work toward having more virtuous thoughts about ourselves?

Share and discuss these quotes from President Rosemary M. Wixom.  Look for additional ideas to add your list of do’s and don’ts:

Looking out through a window, not just into a mirror, allows us to see ourselves as His. We naturally turn to Him in prayer, and we are eager to read His words and to do His will. We are able to take our validation vertically from Him, not horizontally from the world around us or from those on Facebook or Instagram.-President Rosemary M Wixom

What does it mean to look “out through a window” instead of “into a mirror”? To take validation “vertically” instead of “horizontally”? How can we apply this counsel in our lives?

Because you are His child, He knows who you can become. He knows your fears and your dreams. He relishes your potential. He waits for you to come to Him in prayer. Because you are His child, you not only need Him, but He also needs you. Those sitting around you right now in this meeting need you. The world needs you, and your divine nature allows you to be His trusted disciple to all His children. Once we begin to see the divinity in ourselves, we can see it in others.-President Rosemary M Wixom

Why would God need us?  How is “relishing” your potential different than simply “knowing” your potential?

In addition to the do’s and don’ts class members have gathered by reading Jones’ and Wixom’s words, invite class members to provide additional ideas based on their personal experiences.  After your class discussion, your list might look like this:

Do
Don’t




show gratitude
acknowledge our worthiness to receive daily gifts of the Spirit
seek help from Christ
pray
see the divinity in others




think small about ourselves
be spiritually passive
compare ourselves to others
seek validation from social circles

 

 

Relief Society Lesson: Sharon Eubank “Turn On Your Light”

The new teaching module encourages a discussion-style approach to lessons.  Since that means that the teacher is really a facilitator, to me the preparation you need is a good arsenal of open-ended questions.  This post will therefore primarily consist of possible angles for discussion.  Since the talk itself is already offered by a woman there is less call to bring in female voices, in my opinion.

The friendships that Relief Society women, young women, and Primary girls build with sincere, faithful, godly women and girls of other faiths and beliefs will be a significant force in how the Church grows in the last days.

Think about a meaningful friendship you’ve had with a nonmember.  How did you meet? What brought you together? What interests did you share? Did belonging to different faiths present challenges? Opportunities?
If you don’t currently have non-member friends, what barriers have kept you from doing so? What changes can you make in your life to expand your circle of friendship?
What can we do as a ward/branch to build meaningful bonds with women outside our faith community?
Notice that the talk doesn’t say we should make friends for the purpose of converting them, though of course it would be wonderful if someone did join the church.  What are benefits of friendship without a goal to convert? What can friendship outside the faith offer to you? How have you grown and changed in positive ways by having friends outside of the church?

President Kimball called these women from other backgrounds “heroines” who will be more concerned with being righteous than selfish, who will show us that integrity is more valuable than visibility.

What women in your life (that you know personally, or admire from afar) do you consider to be models of integrity? What does it mean to you to have integrity?
Who are some women that you think of as heroines?
How is righteousness the opposite of selfishness?

Being righteous doesn’t mean being perfect or never making mistakes.  Women who have repented change the course of history.

How can repentance change history?
What does being righteous mean to you?

Being articulate means to clearly express how you feel about something and why.

How can you become more articulate? Do you have role models you admire who are articulate?
What barriers do women face that can make speaking up difficult? How can we as a Relief Society work to overcome these barriers?

Be distinct.  Distinct means to be recognizably well defined. . . we need to practice living the gospel before the emergency so that, unafraid, we will be strong enough to help when others are being swept away by the current.

We often talk about how we, as a people, need to stand apart.  What about on an individual level? What do you do to be distinct within the Gospel? Are your personal beliefs well defined?
How can we work to be clear within ourselves about what we personally believe?  How is distinctiveness an advantage within the church?

Being happy doesn’t mean to slap a plastic smile on your face no matter what is going on.  But it does mean keeping the laws of God and building and lifting others.  When we build, when we lift the burden of others, it blesses our lives in ways our trials cannot take away.

What does it mean to you to “build?” How can you be a builder?
What is the distinction for you between being happy and appearing happy? Do you feel you can tell the difference in someone else?
How does social media play a role in doing things “in happy ways?” How do we sometimes “slap on a plastic smile” in our lives? What can we do to be more authentic? [image error]

“Listening to Winter”: The Spiritual Practice of Hope

[image error]

On December 21st I attended a Winter Solstice celebration at a local Unitarian church. It’s become an annual ritual for me—an acknowledgment of the long, dark winter and the wisdom and beauty this season holds. I was so moved by a poem that was read aloud during the program that I requested permission to share it here.

Macrina Wiederkehr’s “Listening to Winter” (reprinted below) reminds me that there is no light without darkness, no growth without pain, no faith without doubt, no hope without despair. I imagine I am not alone in feeling some measure of hopelessness about the state of the world, and the stance of the LDS Church when it comes to LGBTQIA+, women’s, and children’s issues. Many of us are working tirelessly to advocate for the vulnerable in our country, communities, and church despite what can feel like insurmountable opposition. And yet, sitting in the candlelit reverence of this year’s Winter Solstice gathering I felt a seed of hope growing inside me. This poem and the image above of purple tulips rising up from the cold, snowy earth are things I am holding onto this winter.

I may not live to see the changes I long to see in the world, and in the church that I love. But for the next few months I want to engage in the spiritual practice of “listening [for] sparks of hope within the darkness” and “a beauty that sometimes remains unseen.”

“Listening to Winter” by Macrina Wiederkehr

The trees have shed their colorful autumn robes.

Winter is raging through the dark, empty branches

and I am listening.

I am listening to the roar and to the quiet of winter.

I am listening to a beauty that sometimes remains unseen.

I am listening.

I am listening to the seed hidden in the earth.

I am listening to the dark swallowing up the light.

I am listening to faith rising out of doubt.

I am listening to the need to believe without seeing.

I am listening.

I am listening to the season of contemplation,

to the urgency of our world’s need for reflection.

I am listening to all that waits within the earth,

to bulbs and seeds,

to deep roots dreaming.

I am listening to the sacred winter rest.

I am listening.

I am listening to long nights,

comforting darkness,

fruitful darkness,

beautiful darkness.

I am listening to the darkness of the winter season.

I am listening to the sparks of hope within the darkness.

I am listening.

I am listening to storms raging out my window,

to storms raging in my heart.

I am listening to all that makes me pull my cloak a little tighter.

I am listening to trust buried deep in the ground of my being.

I am listening.

I am listening to the kind permission of the season

to rest more often,

to reflect more deeply,

to pray without words.

I am listening to the sacrament of non-doing.

I am listening.

I am listening to my dreams and inner visions,

to the unknown wrapped in the mystery of my life,

to tears trapped in underground streams of my being,

to seeds watered daily by those tears.

I am listening.

I am listening to the quiet life in winter’s womb.

I am listening to winter, nurturing spring.

I am listening to brilliant winter sunsets

and lovely frosty mornings.

I am listening to snowflakes flying through the air,

to the cold winds that often blow out there,

to bare trees, so lovely in their emptiness,

to one leaf that never did let go.

I am listening.

I am listening to winter

handing over to spring.

I am listening to the poetry of winter.

I am listening.

 

[Image: “Flowers & Snow,” Kate J, Flickr]

Guest Post: Being Disfellowshipped at 14

[image error]By JB

Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts, ecclesiastical abuse

The other day, I found myself reading through the journal entries I’d written both before and after I was formally disfellowshipped from the Church.

I was disfellowshipped when I was 14 years old.

Like many Mormon girls my age growing up on the Wasatch front, the LDS church was my whole life. My family went to church weekly, had scripture study every morning at 6 am. I attended mutual every week, sang in the ward choir, and often accompanied my ever-faithful dad on the visits he made for his calling. As a Mia Maid, my journal was full of the kinds of silly yet excited exclamations one might expect from a 14 year old girl whose whole world was wrapped up in Mormonism: “So excited for mutual tonight!” “I can’t wait to meet a return missionary and get married in the temple someday!”  (I kid you not, there’s even an entry that says “Ward choir tonight was SO AWESOME!”)

While I was an outwardly typical Mormon girl in many ways, there were some things about my past and personality that made me feel different. One was that my mom and my biological dad had been through a messy divorce when I was pretty young. Another was that, as a young child, I’d often been exposed to adults viewing and acting on sexually explicit material. And another was that by the time I was 14, I’d known for several years that my feelings towards both boys and girls didn’t jive with what I was taught that I ought to feel and aspire to as a girl in a very heteronormative church.

I was about 9 when I first tried to tell my mom that I felt that something wasn’t right with me. I remember that we were on our way to Chuckie Cheese. I remember how broken I felt as I sobbed hysterically and cried, “Mom, I’m a lesbian!” over and over. I remember my well-meaning mother calmly reassuring me that I wasn’t and telling me to stop worrying about it. And I remember deciding that it was better not to talk about it anymore.

Five years later, I found myself in a Bishop’s office with a man 40+ years older than me asking me questions.

“Did you have her kiss your breasts?” I remember him asking me. “Did you have her lick your breasts?” he asked, staring right at me. My answers to both had been no; I’d touched her chest and she’d touched mine, yes. We’d kissed, but that was all. I’d told him all that, this old man that I’d been taught to revere, this man that had so much power and authority over me, but still the questions kept coming. The girl was a relative and two years younger, and it was clear from his use of the word “have” that because I was older that he thought I had been acting predatorily.

Eventually, the questions ended, and my bishop began to spell out my sentence.

“It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones,” he read aloud from Luke.

“Do you know what that means?” he asked. I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. “That it is better to be killed than it is to have done what you did.”

He told me too about what would happen when I died: that I would stand there with everyone I’d ever known in front of a giant screen, whereon they would see in detail every disgusting and sinful choice I’d ever made. I would be disfellowshipped, he then told me. And then came the worst part: if I didn’t repent, he told me, I wouldn’t be able to be with my family in heaven.

I remember sitting there drenched in shame, self-loathing, and confusion.

After being disfellowshipped, I was immediately released from my calling in Young Women. Per my bishop’s suggestion to my parents, I was no longer allowed to babysit, which had been something I’d done almost weekly and had been a source of confidence and purpose. Sacrament meeting now left me feeling anxious every time it was time for the sacrament and I wondered whether the boys my age passing the bread and water would notice that I was the only one on my pew who had to refuse the sacrament.

Once at a mutual activity that wasn’t at the church, I remember being asked by one of the young men to say the opening prayer. I remember how my face grew instantly hot and how deeply I was reminded of how deviant and disgusting God thought I was. I remember how my thoughts spun around in my head: “We’re not at the church, so does that mean that I can pray? Or am I not supposed to? Does that mean that Heavenly Father doesn’t want me to pray at all, ever? That I’m so gross and wicked that God doesn’t want to hear anything from me?” After a few awkward seconds I finally mumbled that I couldn’t. I remember wanting to disappear.

The tone of my journal entries change dramatically after the day I was disfellowshipped.

“I will never be able to be married in the temple now,” I wrote soon after my meeting with the Bishop. “I am a horrible person,” I wrote, “no wonder my parents hate me.”

I never wrote explicitly about what I’d done or what I’d experienced or felt after being disfellowshipped. I don’t think I could bring myself to write about something I didn’t yet have the language or tools to adequately process or understand. But after this experience, I started to refer to myself in my journal as “(my name) 1” when I was feeling OK and “(my name) 2” when I started to hate myself. My anxiety worsened dramatically, and after being disfellowshipped, my journal is suddenly littered with suicidal entries: “I feel dark and alone… I sometimes wonder if it would be better if I were just dead so no one would have to deal with me,” one of them reads.

I wasn’t a perfect child by any means and will never claim to be. What I did as a 14 year old girl wasn’t great or ideal. But I can’t help but wonder sometimes how my life might have taken a different course had I left that Bishop’s office as a 14 year old girl feeling that while what I had done had been wrong, that I was still loved and precious and whole. I sometimes wonder how much of an impact being disfellowshipped had on so many of the things I’ve dealt with in the 15 years since: how terribly I’ve struggled to feel that God loves me; how every time my car broke down or I had another panic attack or my anxiety made it difficult to even get out of bed in the morning I wondered if it was punishment from God for never being good enough to deserve His love and protection. When I struggled with infertility, and later, when I miscarried, the feeling that stayed with me through it all was that all of this was God letting me have the pain that someone like me deserved.

Fifteen years later, my views of God have improved dramatically. This wasn’t easy work: a year of intense weekly therapy with a non-judgmental, understanding LDS therapist and then eventually, finding the courage to find a home for my faith outside of Mormonism has allowed me to connect with a Savior whose love is unconditional and freely-given. I am finally healing from the shame that I felt so deeply as a Mormon teenager who experienced things and made choices that I didn’t understand how to process or frame. But I don’t want that to be the takeaway from this post.

What I worry about as a mother, and as an older sister and aunt to so many amazing Mormon kids and teens, is the ways that parts of Mormon culture tells young people who already face so much uncertainty and self-doubt that they are less than. The worst of this shows up with how “serious” sins committed by children and teens are too often dealt with in the church. I recognize that my situation might be extreme. Most Bishops (I hope, at least) wouldn’t look a teenager in the face and tell them that it would be better if they were dead, and most (I assume) wouldn’t disfellowship a 14 year old girl for doing what I did. But I know from so many conversations with so many people that leaving a Bishop’s office with an overwhelming feeling of worthlessness isn’t an experience that is unique to me, and I know too that I’m not the only Mormon girl who has had to undergo therapy and seek God elsewhere to work through the shame that their experiences with Mormon men in power brought them.

My hope for Mormonism is that eventually, it will learn to better convey that the worth of souls truly is infinite in God’s eyes. That Mormonism will learn to accept that human sexuality is normal and good. That Mormonism will come to understand that giving men the power to decide who can and cannot be part of the fold and who is and isn’t worthy of belonging and love is unhealthy and damaging.

Until then, I have three pleas for my Mormon friends:

1)     Please consider not allowing your children to be interviewed alone.

2)     If you choose to allow your children to be interviewed alone by a Bishop or Stake President, please educate them. Please make it very clear to them what kinds of questions are appropriate and which are not, and remind them to listen to what the Spirit is telling them in these interviews. Does a question that is being asked make them feel uncomfortable? Is something that their leader is telling them leaving them with the feeling that they aren’t worthy of God’s love? Remind them that nothing they ever do will disqualify them from God’s love or yours, and that while their leaders are good people, there are situations and experiences that Bishops trained as accountants or surgeons or dentists or lawyers cannot possibly have the necessary insight to offer sufficient counsel for.

3)     Remove shame from everything you say: from how you deal with your child’s misbehavior to how you describe God to how you talk about yourself. When shame is used over the pulpit to try to motivate people to change or toe the line, talk openly with your children afterwards about how and why you feel differently. Talk about how you feel about things like disfellowshipment and excommunication. Would God work in that way? And if so, in what situations and why? Does separation from a person’s family and support system foster or harm spiritual growth?

My intent here isn’t to say that the LDS church is all bad. My biggest hope is that we can recognize the places where it does fail, though, and take steps to ensure that others don’t have deal with unnecessary shame and pain brought on by some of the church’s current practices. Let’s help make the church a better place for future generations.

Exceeding Great and Precious Promises by David A. Bednar Lesson Plan

Here is the the paragraph of instruction that the Church provides on lds.org, regarding Elder Bednar’s Talk, Exceeding Great and Precious Promises.

To help members of your Relief Society or quorum discuss Elder Bednar’s message, you could put pictures on the board to represent the Sabbath, the temple, and our homes. Invite members to read the corresponding sections of Elder Bednar’s message and write on the board how the Sabbath day, the temple, and our homes help us focus on God’s promises to us. What things in our lives might pull our attention away from these promises? What steps can we take to make sure that we remember them?

Bednar’s talk starts,

“One of the great challenges each of us faces every day is to not allow the concerns of this world to so dominate our time and energy that we neglect the eternal things that matter most.”

I am using this as the thesis of this lesson: working on focusing on eternal matters and relationships and not being distracted by less important items that eat our time.

The title of this talk comes from 2 Peter 1:3-4,

According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:

Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

In these verses, Peter tells us that we are given exceeding great and precious promises through knowing Christ. This is what we should focus our spiritual life on.

How do we know Christ? Are you growing your knowledge of Christ? How? Do you know more of Him today than yesterday? A year ago? Is your relationship with Him more intimate? Is there evidence of continued growth? What does that look like in your life?

Bednar speaks about sacred time and sacred space. He puts the Sabbath in the “sacred time” category, the temple in the “sacred space” category, and our homes in both categories. This feels very naturally Venn Diagram-like. As a class activity, I’d probably draw a couple of large overlapping circles on the board and ask the class to help fill them in.

[image error]

In each circle, the class could list other kinds of sacred time/space in the circles. For example, holidays, family events like baptisms, or daily personal prayer might be considered sacred time.

Where and when do you work on developing a relationship with Christ? Has that changed throughout your life? 

I will not spend any lesson time here on Sabbath because we’ll be getting a lesson dedicated solely on the Sabbath every month for the next while. I don’t think the class will mind.

The Temple

Concerning the “great and precious promises” Peter speaks of in the verses above, President Bonnie D. Parkin states,

“Covenants—or binding promises between us and Heavenly Father—are essential for our eternal progression. Step-by-step, He tutors us to become like Him by enlisting us in His work. At baptism we covenant to love Him with all our hearts and love our sisters and brothers as ourselves. In the temple we further covenant to be obedient, selfless, faithful, honorable, charitable. We covenant to make sacrifices and consecrate all that we have. Forged through priesthood authority, our kept covenants bring blessings to fill our cups to overflowing. How often do you reflect that your covenants reach beyond mortality and connect you to the Divine? Making covenants is the expression of a willing heart; keeping covenants, the expression of a faithful heart.”

How has the temple been a sacred space for you? Do you have an experience to share when you’ve felt closer to Christ in the temple? Do you reflect on your covenants made there?

The Home

I think I’d want to spend more lesson time here, after all, we typically have more opportunities to be at home than we do at the temple.

Chieko Okazaki stated,

“There is great diversity in LDS homes. But all of these homes can be righteous homes where individuals love each other, love the Lord, and strengthen each other.”

How do you make your home a sacred space? What distractions exist there? How do you cut through those distractions?

When I first read “eternal things that matter most” at the beginning of the talk, my thoughts went straight to our relationships: family, friends. Those relationships are what will help us in the hard times in our life and what we’ll carry with us to the next.

How do you improve your relationships with your family and friends. Has there been a time when you’ve had to really work to repair a broken relationship? How did you do that?

[image error]

Photo by Keith Rawley. Used under the CC BY-SA 2.0 license.

Other related lesson plans on sacred space, time, and Christ in our archives:

Young Woman lesson plan: Increasing the Power of Personal Prayer
Relief Society Lesson 1: Jesus Christ- Our Only Way to Hope and Joy
Relief Society Lesson 24: Reflections on the Mission of Jesus Christ
Relief Society Lesson 4: Help from on High
Relief Society Lesson 11: GBH – Home: The Basis of a Righteous Life

A Bit of Hope for the New Year

[image error]

I have a confession to make. I have been rather grinchy. I am not proud of this. It seems that I’ve been in a bad mood for over a year now. It has been difficult to be cheerful and optimistic. I am really struggling with the direction our country is taking, and live in a very conservative town. I have many friends and neighbors that are happy with the current administration. I feel greatly conflicted about these good people, since it seems they are, at best, stupid, or at worst, evil. Which makes me judgemental. And possibly a jerk. I don’t really want to belabor this, but my general outlook has been gloomy. Christmas kind of snuck up on me. We didn’t get our tree until last Saturday, I didn’t decorate much, and have been quite “bah humbugish” about it all.

Even Christmas music has been getting on my nerves. “Baby, it’s cold outside” just doesn’t feel festive, it is creepy, in this #metoo time. So by the time Christmas Eve Sunday rolled around I was unfortunately in a bit of a funk. Thankfully, we had only Sacrament Meeting, which was mostly Christmas hymns. I am not a good singer, but since my husband is the choir director, I sing with the choir, and the program we practiced went well. The bishop asked if the choir could go and sing to some ward members that aren’t well enough to attend church. So we all met up at an elderly couple’s home. The brother has many health problem, and has had a foot amputated. The sister has severe dementia. We crowded into their home, and filled the room. The sister clearly didn’t recognize any of us, but had a bemused smile on her face. As we shared our songs with them, her husband was very appreciative. But our sister, who had been our ward chorister for years, sang along. She remembered every single word. There was hardly a dry eye in the house. The room was full of spirit and love. I felt something unfamiliar, and perhaps it was that my small heart grew three sizes that day. It felt miraculous to me.

I still don’t know how to understand my neighbors and their views. But on Christmas Eve Sunday, in a small home filled with saints, I felt again my love for them. All was calm, all was bright. I felt a glimmer of hope, of belief that surely what we share is greater than our differences. I did not see a bunch of misinformed voters, I saw my brothers and sisters. It was a tiny moment of true Christmas spirit. In this new year I will try to remember that feeling as I work toward peace and maybe even understanding in my heart.

The Plan and the Proclamation by Elder Dallin H. Oaks Lesson Plan

Elder Oaks began his talk,The Plan and the Proclamation, by relaying Jesus’ Parable of the Sower.  I haven’t heard this parable referenced often in talks about family but I appreciated the opportunity to think about this parable in the  context of family life.

He then went on to discuss Lehi’s Dream.  We are more accustomed to thinking about this dream (which is also a parable) as instructive about families because members of Lehi’s own nuclear family play key roles in the story.  However, I had never thought about Lehi’s dream and the parable of the sower together before.  Since these two parables are in different books of scripture, we discuss them in completely different years in seminary and Sunday School classes. Combining insights from both parables is an interesting exercise.

Written interpretations to both of these parables are included within the scriptural text. I have included the parables and their written interpretations side by side in the tables below for convenience.  However, parables could have many layers of meaning beyond the written interpretations and class members may feel personal inspiration about unique parallels to their own lives and families as they study and ponder about these parables.

You may print the images and tables included below as handouts or project them onto a large screen as visual aids.

Begin class by discussing the parable of the sower.  You may explain the parable in your own words or invite class members to read it silently on their own. (Note: Round Robin reading of long passages of text is not recommended.) Before they read or listen to the parable, tell them to think about these questions. Discuss their answers after the reading or telling the story.

What gospel principles can we learn from this parable?
What does it warn us to avoid or be cautious about?
How does this parable relate to your personal life and to your family life?

The Parable of the Sower
[image error]

Parable of the Sower
Illustration used with permission. courtesy of
©Vesper Stamper/vesperillustration.com

The Parable of the Sower

Matthew 13:3-8
Interpretation

Matthew 13:19-23


3 And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow;



4 And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up:
19 When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side.


5 Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth:

6 And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.
20 But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it;

21 Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended.


7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:
22 He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful.


8 But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold.
23 But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.



Lehi’s Dream

Now turn your attention to Lehi’s dream.  Again, you may explain the parable in your own words or invite class members to read silently on their own. Before they read or listen to the parable, tell them to think about these questions. Discuss their answers after reading or telling the story.

What gospel principles can we learn from this parable?
What does it warn us to avoid or be cautious about?
How does this parable relate to your personal life and to your family life?

[image error]

Lehi’s Dream
Image Courtesy of LDS.org

Lehi’s Dream

1 Nephi 8:10-28
Interpretation

1 Nephi 11:21-36, 12:1-18


10 And it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.

11 And it came to pass that I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted. Yea, and I beheld that the fruit thereof was white, to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen.

12 And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore, I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also; for I knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.

11:21 And the angel said unto me: Behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father! Knowest thou the meaning of the tree which thy father saw?

11:22 And I answered him, saying: Yea, it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things.

11:23 And he spake unto me, saying: Yea, and the most joyous to the soul.

13 And as I cast my eyes round about, that perhaps I might discover my family also, I beheld a river of water; and it ran along, and it was near the tree of which I was partaking the fruit.

14 And I looked to behold from whence it came; and I saw the head thereof a little way off; and at the head thereof I beheld your mother Sariah, and Sam, and Nephi; and they stood as if they knew not whither they should go.

12:16 And the angel spake unto me, saying: Behold the fountain of filthy water which thy father saw; yea, even the river of which he spake; and the depths thereof are the depths of hell.

 


15 And it came to pass that I beckoned unto them; and I also did say unto them with a loud voice that they should come unto me, and partake of the fruit, which was desirable above all other fruit.

16 And it came to pass that they did come unto me and partake of the fruit also.

17 And it came to pass that I was desirous that Laman and Lemuel should come and partake of the fruit also; wherefore, I cast mine eyes towards the head of the river, that perhaps I might see them.

18 And it came to pass that I saw them, but they would not come unto me and partake of the fruit.



19 And I beheld a rod of iron, and it extended along the bank of the river, and led to the tree by which I stood.

20 And I also beheld a strait and narrow path, which came along by the rod of iron, even to the tree by which I stood; and it also led by the head of the fountain, unto a large and spacious field, as if it had been a world.
11:25 And it came to pass that I beheld that the rod of iron, which my father had seen, was the word of God, which led to the fountain of living waters, or to the tree of life;  which waters are a representation of the love of God; and I also beheld that the tree of life was a representation of the love of God.


21 And I saw numberless concourses of people, many of whom were pressing forward, that they might obtain the path which led unto the tree by which I stood.

22 And it came to pass that they did come forth, and commence in the path which led to the tree.



23 And it came to pass that there arose a mist of darkness; yea, even an exceedingly great mist of darkness, insomuch that they who had commenced in the path did lose their way, that they wandered off and were lost.
12:17 And the mists of darkness are the temptations of the devil, which blindeth the eyes, and hardeneth the hearts of the children of men, and leadeth them away into broad roads, that they perish and are lost.


24 And it came to pass that I beheld others pressing forward, and they came forth and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press forward through the mist of darkness, clinging to the rod of iron, even until they did come forth and partake of the fruit of the tree.



25 And after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast their eyes about as if they were ashamed.

26 And I also cast my eyes round about, and beheld, on the other side of the river of water, a great and spacious building; and it stood as it were in the air, high above the earth.

27 And it was filled with people, both old and young, both male and female; and their manner of dress was exceedingly fine; and they were in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers towards those who had come at and were partaking of the fruit.

28 And after they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away into forbidden paths and were lost.
12:18 And the large and spacious building, which thy father saw, is vain imaginations and the pride of the children of men. And a great and a terrible gulf divideth them; yea, even the word of the justice of the Eternal God, and the Messiah who is the Lamb of God, of whom the Holy Ghost beareth record, from the beginning of the world until this time, and from this time henceforth and forever.



Synthesize

Now take some time to talk about how the parables relate to each other.

What are some common themes in the two parables?
What are some differences?
How did studying both parables together expand your understanding of gospel principles?

The possible insights that could be derived from this exercise are infinite.  Merely as an example, since there are no right or wrong answers here, let me share some of the thoughts I had as I studied the Parable of the Sower and Lehi’s Dream together.

Both emphasize the importance of—and the difficulty obtaining—the word of God.
Both parables warn about the dangers of becoming distracted from our eternal goals by worldly priorities.
Lehi’s Dream is told from the perspective of a parent, while the sower could be anyone who spreads the word of God.
Both use the symbol of fruit to represent our eternal goals and rewards. This made me think of other fruit metaphors in the scriptures, such as these:

Matthew 7:15-20
Genesis 2-3
Galatians 5:22-23


In Lehi’s Dream, he finds the fruit already present on a grown tree, which reminded me that God’s love is a gift of grace that we must accept. In contrast, the parable of the sower begins with seeds that must grow before yielding fruit.  This made me think about how we can grow to develop the capability to give the gift of God’s love ourselves, but it may take a great deal of time before our efforts come to fruition.
In Lehi’s Dream, the word of God is solid and stationary (an iron rod), but the people must make great efforts to find it and follow it, focusing my attention to the need to work out our own salvation. However, others did affect the outcome, by encouraging or belittling those who sought the word of God. In the Parable of the Sower, the word of God (the seeds) lands in different environments. This reminded me that not all of us have the same trials and we must have empathy for those who are working within more hostile circumstances than we are.  In the context of families, I thought about how some families are strong environments for growth while others are harmful.

The Proclamation on the Family

Now let’s turn our attention to a more modern document, The Family: a Proclamation to the World. In contrast to the parables we have been studying, the proclamation is quite direct.  For example, the principles to establish a successful family are given as a simple list of nine items:

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of

faith,
prayer,
repentance,
forgiveness,
respect,
love,
compassion,
work,
and wholesome recreational activities.

While warnings come in a list of three:

We warn that individuals who

violate covenants of chastity,
who abuse spouse or offspring,
or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities

will one day stand accountable before God.

Because of the simple language, it can be easy to read these passages quickly without feeling the need to reflect in the same way we did while reading parables. But let’s look at these passages more carefully.

Are these principles and warnings simple to apply in real life?  Why or why not?
Of all the principles and warnings that could have appeared in these lists, why would these particular ones be vital?
How do these principles and warnings relate to each other? What differences and similarities do you notice between them?
How do the insights you gained while reading the Parable of the Sower and Lehi’s Dream relate to the principles and warnings found in the Proclamation?

The Priesthood and the Savior’s Atoning Power by Dale G. Renlund Lesson Plan

by Bryn[image error]

Note: This is a challenging talk to discuss in Relief Society. It has the potential to encourage women to view ourselves as excluded from the power of the priesthood – to be acted upon rather than to act. In this lesson outline, I’m intentionally sidestepping the rocket in the room that is women not currently holding priesthood offices to focus on a more expansive interpretation that invites women to act in their current circumstances to further the purpose of the priesthood.  

 

Elder Renlund teaches, “…the purpose of the priesthood is to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel. We have the priesthood so that we can help Heavenly Father’s children be relieved of the burden of sin and become like Him. Through the priesthood, the power of godliness is manifest in the live of all who make and keep gospel covenants and receive the associated ordinances.”

Women can and do invite others to come unto Christ. We make and keep covenants and participate in ordinances that allow the power of godliness to be made manifest in our words and deeds.

Ask the sisters to consider a time when they have, in some way, invited those around them to come unto Christ. It may be a powerful experience to invite returned missionaries in the group to share their experiences teaching the gospel or to invite women from a variety of circumstances to explain how they invite others to Christ in their day to day lives. Another approach might be to introduce and explore women from the scriptures like Abish (Alma 19) or Martha (john 11) as exemplars.

The most vital line to my thinking is when Elder Renlund teaches that the power of godliness is manifest in the lives of all who make and keep gospel covenants and receive associated ordinances. Impress upon the sisters that, as we make and keep covenants, the power of godliness will manifest itself in our lives. This is both an incredible promise and a great responsibility.

Now might be a good time to emphasize that every woman who holds a calling in the ward or who has made and kept baptismal or temple covenants is contributing to fulfilling the purpose of the priesthood and therefore has need of the power of godliness in her life.

Elder Oaks, in his April 2014 talk “The Keys and Authority of the Priesthood” teaches, “We are not accustomed to speaking of women having the authority of the priesthood in their Church callings, but what other authority can it be? When a woman – young or old – is set apart to preach the gospel as a full-time missionary, she is given priesthood authority to perform a priesthood function. The same is true when a woman is set apart to function as an officer or teacher in a Church organization under the direction of one who holds the keys of the priesthood.”

Now that we understand that women are contributing to the purpose of the priesthood, how can we better contribute to that purpose and find the power of godliness in our lives?

Elder Renlund teaches, “God intends priesthood to be used for more than just a class on Sunday or as a service opportunity.”

Each of us is assisting our Heavenly parents and Jesus Christ in the work of the gospel. Each of us has a work to do that we can better perform as we more fully understand the covenants we have made.

What covenants do we make? Although Elder Renlund’s talk focuses on the Aaronic and Melchezideck priesthood offices, I would suggest that this lesson focus on the baptismal and temple covenants that all women can make. I might also encourage the sisters to read the talk to understand the duties of those priesthood offices and consider the ways that sisters may also perform those duties (read the room on that one!).

To discuss baptismal covenants, read Mosiah 18:8-11. Ask the sisters to consider how the power of godliness has been made manifest in their lives as they “mourn with those that mourn” or “stand as a witness of Jesus Christ.”

To discuss temple covenants, you might start with this lesson from President Rosemary Wixom, who taught, “keeping covenants protects us, prepares us, and empowers us” (April 2014 Conference). You might ask the sisters to consider a time they were prompted to act after visiting the temple. When we recognize the power of godliness in our lives, what promptings have we felt?

Sometimes we make covenants, but struggle to keep them. Elder Renlund teaches, “The atoning blood of Christ can thereby be applied in our lives as we experience the sanctifying influence of the Holy Ghost and receive the blessings God promises.”

The scripture Elder Renlund cited here is Mosiah 4:2. It might be helpful to read this particular scripture out loud and ask the sisters to consider a time in their lives when they needed the Atonement. How can the Atonement of Jesus Christ help us to find the power of godliness again?

End this lesson by asking the sisters to consider the covenants they have made and to find a way this week to invite the power of godliness into their lives. My hope is that the sisters would feel empowered to act on promptings and inspiration, to continue to develop the skills and traits of a disciple of Christ, or to seek the healing influence of the Atonement where needed.

I tried all throughout this lesson overview to figure out how to use that rocket metaphor. I couldn’t do it, but if it worked out for you, I think it would be fascinating and potentially edifying to invite the class to come up with their own metaphors for the purpose and power of the priesthood and how it functions in our lives (perhaps no umbrellas please!).

Bearers of Heavenly Light by Dieter F. Uchtdorf Lesson Plan

Here is the the paragraph of instruction that the Church gives on lds.org, regarding President Uchtdorf’s talk, Bearers of Heavenly Light:

Invite members to search President Uchtdorf’s message and identify how the presence or absence of divine light can affect our lives. You could invite members to study some of the scriptures that President Uchtdorf references and identify truths related to spiritual light. What does the metaphor about the eclipse teach us about the role of agency in seeking spiritual light? What can we do to share Jesus Christ’s divine light with others, especially with our families and with “our youth, who are seeking light”?

[image error]

Photo by Harini Calamur. Used under the CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 license.

The first time light is mentioned in scripture, it is at the very beginning of Genesis.  The first act of creation in Genesis is God’s command, “Let there be light.” God has given us light from the very beginning. Then the world was given more light with Christ, “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”

In this talk, President Uchdorf states,

“In the Doctrine and Covenants we read, “The word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light, and whatsoever is light is Spirit, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ.”5

This profound insight—that light is spirit, which is truth, and that this light shines upon every soul who comes into the world—is as important as it is hopeful. The Light of Christ enlightens and saturates the souls of all who hearken to the voice of the Spirit.

The Light of Christ fills the universe.

It fills the earth.

And it can fill every heart.

“God is no respecter of persons.” His light is available to all—great or small, rich or poor, privileged or disadvantaged.”

Recently I listened to a group of kindergarteners at my children’s school sing “This Little Life of Mine.” It was easy to smile as I watched those small children sing about their light. It’s harder in my day-to-day life to remember that all the adults in my life have the same light.

We have been told many times that every person is born with the Light of Christ? What does that mean? How does it manifest in their lives and the world?

What about yourself? Do you look in the mirror and realize you also have the light of Christ? What might make you feel otherwise? 

President Uchtdorf states,

“Every time you turn your hearts to God in humble prayer, you experience His light. Every time you seek His word and will in the scriptures, the light grows in brightness. Every time you notice someone in need and sacrifice your own comfort to reach out in love, the light expands and swells. Every time you reject temptation and choose purity, every time you seek or extend forgiveness, every time you courageously testify of truth, the light chases away darkness and attracts others who are also seeking light and truth.”

What can we do to increase spiritual light in our lives? Is there a time when you felt light increase in your life? What was that experience like?

Uchtdorf continues,

“Think about your own personal experiences, moments of service to God and fellowmen when divine light has shined in your life—in the holy temple, at the sacrament table, in a quiet moment of prayerful pondering, in your family gatherings, or during an act of priesthood service. Share those moments with family, friends, and especially with our youth, who are seeking light. They need to hear from you that with this light come hope and healing, even in a world full of darkness.”

I love this reassuring and comforting quote from Chieko Okazaki,

“Jesus is the light of the world. We know that this world is a dark place sometimes, but we need not walk in darkness. The people who sit in darkness have seen a great light, and the people who walk in darkness can have a bright companion. We need him, and He is ready to come to us, if we’ll open the door and let him.”

I found this rendition of “This Little Life of Mine with Sylvia McNair and The Mormon Tabernacle Choir. It would be a lovely way to close a lesson. It’s 4 minutes long, so plan accordingly.

 

Another Relief Society lesson plan about light for more ideas: An Ensign to the Nations, a Light to the World