Exponent II's Blog, page 280

Exponent Holiday Gift Guide

Still wondering what to get your favorite Mormon feminist for Christmas? We’re here to help.

From Exponent’s Own Shop

[image error] Illuminating Ladies: A Coloring Book of Mormon Women. $12.95 Molly Cannon Hadfield (illustrator) and Aimee Hickman (editor). This book boasts 25 gorgeous illustrations and full-page bios with smart, faithful words about smart, faithful women. It’s genuinely perfect for Mo Fems of all ages.

[image error] Mo Fem Sticker Set of 6. $3.95 The stickers are both tender and funny, and at 3″ in diameter, make the perfect stocking stuffer. My favorites are “I know Heavenly Mother loves me” and “Chieko is my patronus.”

[image error] Print or Electronic Subscriptions to the Magazine. $35.00 or $12.00/year, respectfully. Exponent II has a beautiful, rich history of publishing and preserving the words of Mormon women, like the Women’s Exponent before it. Support helps this legacy continue.

 

For Mini (and Not So Mini) MoFems



In addition to our coloring book, for mini (and not so mini) Mo Fems, we also suggest:

Baptism and Boomerangs $13.28 Sherrie Gavin (author) and Tatiana Lawton (illustrator). This is especially perfect for a girl of (or nearing) baptism age. The story has a refreshing international focus, and both the author and illustrator are women outside of the US. Also refreshing is the inclusion of the phrase “Heavenly Parents.”

[image error]Better Days 2020 Prints. $17.00 Brooke Smart (artist). Do you know about Better Days 2020 yet? If not, you should know about it. It’s dedicated to celebrating and teaching about the 100th anniversary of the 19th amendment as well as Utah’s suffrage history, starting 50 whole years prior. Right now there are gorgeous prints for sale of suffrage leaders, Susan B. Anthony and Emmeline B. Wells. They have the best details.

Girls Who Choose God: Stories of Courageous Women from the Bible $17.99 and Girls Who Choose God: Stories of Strong Women from the Book of Mormon $18.99 McArthur Krishna and Bethany Brady Spalding (authors) Kathleen Peterson (illustrator). These are some of the books that I’m most grateful my daughter and son are growing up with. The words and art are so beautiful and thoughtful, and make me tear up almost every time I open the pages. Girls (and boys) deserve to hear stories of faithful women.

[image error]Little Q, Q. Noor’s temple, baptism, and blessing dresses. $55.00-$68.00 These dresses are keepsake quality and very, very pretty. They’re the exact kind you’d want to hang on to.

 

Nativity Print $25.00 Annie K. Blake. Annie’s art is one of the only things that has made sense over the last two years. This print highlighting Mary and her babe, Jesus, is particularly perfect this time of year. Check out more of her available art, here.



[image error] We Brave Women Cards. $20.00 Ashley Mae Hoiland. Ash Mae’s work is always beautiful and brave making, and this set of 60 cards is no exception. Each card features a hand-drawn/hand-painted portrait of a different brave woman or girl from around the world, as well as corresponding stories, facts, and quotes. Check out more of her art and writing, here, including temple prints and a beautifully illustrated nativity book.

[image error] Young Women Posters. $12.99 Natalie Hansen Jonas. These posters are stunning, and feature strong, smart young women (which is to say realistic young women), including strong, smart young women of color. While I love them all, the posters for knowledge and integrity are my favorites.

More General Feminist Recommendations for Girls

[image error] Bravery Magazine. $18.00/issue or $72.00 recurring. Eylse and Ashley, with incredible art from Brooke Smart. This magazine is new, and has a wonderful focus for dreamers and doers. The first issue highlights Jane Goodall, and shares about her work and life. Each additional issue will highlight another brave woman.

Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls. $35.00 Elena Favilli and Francesca Cavallo. This bedtime (and other time) book tells stories about 50 rebel women, starting with mathematician, Ada Lovelace and ending with architect, Zaha Hadid. One of my favorite parts is that each woman’s story is illustrated by a different female artist. (A friend and fellow Mormon woman, Michelle Christiansen Bullough, illustrated the page for Yoko Ono!).

Rad American Women A-Z: Rebels, Trailblazers, and Visionaries who Shaped Our History . . . and Our Future! $12.12 and Rad Women Worldwide: Artists and Athletes, Pirates and Punks, and Other Revolutionaries Who Shaped History $12.79. Kate Schatz (author) and Miriam Klein Stahl (illustrator). In each book, one woman is highlighted for each letter of the alphabet. (I’m sure those curating decisions were hard, hard.) My 4 year old daughter and I both love the black and white illustrations set against the bright, solid color backdrops.

[image error]To All The Little Girls empowering 2018 calendar. $15.00 Miriam Walther. This calendar was made by a Mormon mom of girls, who wanted to inspire them, then realized it was for other girls, too.  It’s full of thoughtful quotes by female leaders and tender, hand-drawn cartoons.

Books Published in the Last Year

At the Pulpit: 185 Years of Discourses by Latter-day Saint Women$29.27 Jennifer Reeder and Kate Holbrook (editors). This book was published by the Church Historian’s Press, and is pure gold. Mormon women have been using their voices for a long time, and have powerfully contributed to LDS history.

The Book of Laman. $9.95 Mette Harrison. I expected that this book would give me more charity for Laman. What I wasn’t expecting, was that it would also give me more charity for everyone else as well, including Nephi. In making Laman more real, she made everyone else more real as well. I appreciate the story she tells to frame things, and really, really appreciate the named women! With speaking parts!

The Burning Point: A Memoir of Addiction, Destruction, Love, Parenting, Survival, and Hope. $12.95 Tracy McKay. There is a lot of sorrow in this book, but there is also a lot of kindness, and the very best of Mormonism. You see Tracy’s ward offer meaningful service, and you see Tracy herself. She loves, and loves, and loves. And as she reminds, the opioid epidemic touches all of us, whether we know it or not.

 The Color of Money: Black Banks and the Racial Wealth Gap. $19.78 Mehrsa Baradaran. Mehrsa is one of the smartest Mormon women out there, as well as a national voice on banking law. Be sure to check out her first book, How the Other Half Banks: Exclusion, Exploitation, and the Threat to Democracy $22.32.

A House Full of Females: Plural Marriage and Women’s Rights in Early Mormonism, 1835-1870. $17.45 Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. I very luckily got to hear Laurel read from (and talk about) this book at a New York City bookstore. She is so, so good at telling women’s stories from tiny details and journal entries.

Messages on the Water. $7.00 Merrijane Rice. I haven’t read this yet (it’s on my own wish list), but am including it here because it’s been recommended by so many people I trust.

Mother’s Milk: Poems in Search of Heavenly Mother. $8.96 Rachel Hunt Steenblik (author) and Ashley Mae Hoiland (illustrator). Of course I’m biased here, but what I can say quite honestly, is that I gave the best that I have on earthly and divine mothering, and that I asked Ashley Mae to illustrate because I love her and her work. I’ve been delighted that her simple, perfect line drawings have opened up the poems to younger and younger people.



Seasons of Change: Stories of Transition from the Writers of Segullah.  $14.87 Sandra Clark Jergensen and Shelah Mastny Miner (editors). They wanted to look at those tiny, big moments of women’s lives, when they’re on the brink of change. The pieces are organized by wide themes (welcome, cycle, acceptance, reversal, etc.), and touch on many types of transitions (births, deaths, job loss, divorce, moves, menopause, etc.).  Some pieces resonated with me more than others, but overall, the writing (and content) is exquisite.


 Third Wheel: Peculiar Stories of Mormon Women in Love. $9.95 Melissa Leilani Larson. If you have not read (or watched) these plays, please run to go get them. They make up some of the best writing I read all year, and I am pretty sure they made me cry and laugh in equal measure. The first play in particular, really, really moved me.

Books Published in the Last Few Years

 Candy Canes and Christmastime: Enhancing the Holidays in the Real World. $11.41 Linda Hoffman Kimball. Kimball gathers stories from some of the smartest, funniest women.  (You’ll also want to check out her other books, including Enriching Ideas from A to Z, Apple Pies & Promises: Motherhood in the Real World, Chocolate Chips and Charity: Visiting Teaching in the Real World, Muffins and Miracles: Church Service in the Real World, and Raspberries and Relevance: Celebrating Sisterhood in the Real World.)

 Diary of Two Mad Black Mormons: Finding the Lord’s Lessons in Everyday Life. $21.99 Tamu Smith and Zandra Vranes. Funny, smart, and honest, the Sistas in Zion are always worth listening to. (If you don’t follow them on Twitter, you should.) For a full review of their book, look here.

 The First Fifty Years of Relief Society: Key Documents in Latter-day Saint Women’s History $49.95. Jill Mulvay Derr, Carol Cornwall Madsen, Kate Holbrook, and Matthew Grow. This book is another published by The Church Historian’s Press, and is a reason to cheer. It contains original documents, starting with the Nauvoo period, and includes Eliza R. Snow’s excellent minutes from the first Relief Society– unabridged, for the first time in print!

 Letters to a Young Mormon, Second Edition. $9.99 Adam Miller. The print edition will be ready January 1st, co-published by the Maxwell Institute and Deseret Book. The first edition of this book remains one of my favorite Mormon books. Rumor is this one has two new letters.

 Mormon Feminism: Essential Writings. $19.93 Joanna Brooks, Rachel Hunt Steenblik, and Hannah Wheelwright (editors). I’m also biased here, but believe strongly in Joanna Brooks’ words that “Mormon women coming of age need to hold in their hands the wealth of perspective and knowledge of these last four decades of Mormon feminism,” and “This work has value, and something about a book conveys value.”

 One Hundred Birds Taught Me to Fly: The Art of Seeking God. $11.12 Ashley Mae Hoiland. It’s hard to describe this book, as it’s part spiritual memoir and part tiny, poem like stories. What is easy to say is that it belongs to the Maxwell Institute’s Living Faith Series, was their first ever manuscript by a woman, and made me cry on almost every page. The writing (as well as the themes written about) are remarkably beautiful.

The Witness of Women: Firsthand Experiences and Testimonies from the Restoration. $18.99 Janiece Johnson and Jenny Reeder (editors). This resource offers many brief, first-person perspectives by early Latter-day Saint women, and is organized by topic to make it as accessible for teaching and learning purposes as possible.

When Mormons Doubt: A Way to Save Relationships and Seek a Quality Life. $7.99 This book is appropriate for Mormons along the faith and attendance spectrum, and  was written by the spouse of one of our bloggers. She said, “If you’ve left the church (or are questioning, or have left parts of it behind) it articulates a moral framework based on the classical virtues of truth, beauty, and goodness. If you haven’t left the church, but you have loved ones who have, it helps navigate conversations about morality in a safe and loving way.”

From Mormon Women We Love 

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[image error] A Shop About Love. ~$45.00-$185.00 Mara (and Danny) Kofoed. Are you familiar with their blog About Love? They have so much wisdom, experience, and love. They just opened up a shop with the prettiest, ethically made products.

[image error]Teesies and Left of Provo. ~$18.00-$21.00 Libby Boss. Humorous baby (and other) things, and Mormon feminist (and liberal) things. You’ll notice a similar graphic to one of Exponent II’s most popular Mo Fem sticker.

[image error]YA Fantasy and Science Fiction Books. $2.99 Sara Cassalino. These books come highly recommended by two of our bloggers. The protagonists are female, and they have leadership roles.

 

From Feminists and Friends of Other Faiths, We Also Love

 Faithfully Feminist: Jewish, Christian, and Muslim Feminists on Why We Stay. $12.20 Gina Messina-Dysert, Jennifer Zobair, and Amy Levin (editors). This book features one of the Exponent blog’s co-founders on the cover, as well as in one brief essay in the book. (It is so beautiful and made me cry and cry.) I adore Nancy’s review about the whole book, here.

 The Middle of Things: Essays. $15.00 Meghan Florian. This book is at the top of my own Christmas wish list. Meghan is a master of the essay, and her writing has (I believe rightly) been compared to Annie Dillard, Anne Lamott, and Virginia Woolf.  I love what one reviewer said: “She ambles from Kierkegaard to Radiohead and back again without ever losing track of her central question: how do I make–and furnish–a meaningful life?”

Race and the Making of the Mormon People. $32.50 Max Perry Mueller. Max studied at Harvard with Exponent II, founding mother and Pulitzer Prize winner, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. His offering is an important book on an important topic. He’ll be chatting with April on Exponent’s podcast about his writing (and faith journey) soon!

 Reframing the House: Constructive Feminist Global Ecclesiology for the Western Evangelical Church. $25.00 Jennifer Buck. Jen did appear on an episode of Exponent’s newish podcast with April, and it is an incredibly inspiring and moving listen. Please check it (and this book) out.

 

While this list is quite extensive, I know that it’s missing many worthwhile things. What are you gifting, and what would you add?

January Young Women Lesson: The Roles of the Holy Ghost

What are the roles of the Holy Ghost?

Start by showing the video “What does the Spirit feel like?” After the video, write “Roles of the Holy Ghost” on the board and ask the class to name some of the roles of the Spirit. Some of the roles are to comfort, warn, bear testimony, sanctify, protect, and receive revelation.

The Spirit testifies of truth

Ask a young woman to read the words to the following hymn, or sing it together as a class (both verses): “I Know My Father Lives” on page 302. What do we learn about the Holy Ghost from this hymn? One of the things we learn is that the Spirit testifies of truth. It bears witness of the Plan of Salvation and guides us in our life.

The Spirit gives us knowledge and guidance

Sing verses 2 and 3 of “Let the Holy Spirit Guide” on page 143. What other roles does the Holy Ghost have? The Spirit can give us spiritual knowledge and guide us on the path that’s right for us. The Spirit testifies of Christ and helps us see the eternal perspective. It can heal our wounds and keep us safe. Invite the class to share any experiences they’ve had with being led by the Holy Ghost. You may want to pass around a paper and pencil and have class members write down their experiences.

The Spirit converts and bears witness

If possible, invite the missionaries (or recently returned missionaries) to share experiences about conversion and testimony.

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Revelation comes through the Spirit

Quote:

“A constant theme through our history is that sisters who utilize the power of the Holy Ghost operate with the inspiration of the Lord in their lives and receive revelation for their responsibilities.”

Julie B. Beck, Relief Society General President

“ Daughters in My Kingdom: the History and Work of Relief Society ,” October 2010 General Conference

Example:

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Share the story of Amanda Barnes Smith, a woman from church history who received revelation and healed her son’s hip after he was injured. The story can be found in Daughters in my Kingdom, page 130-131 and Our Heritage, page 47-48. You may want to print off a copy and cut it into separate quotes. Number the quotes and pass it out to the Young Women and have them the class read the quotes in order.

How do you know it’s the Holy Ghost?

“Young women, you are engaged in a great work! And you are not alone! As you guard your virtue and purity, you will be given strength. As you keep the covenants you have made, the Holy Ghost will guide and guard you. You will be surrounded by heavenly hosts of angels.”

Elaine S. Dalton, Young Women General President

“ Guardians of Virtue ,” April 2011 General Conference

Closing hymn: “Our Savior’s Love” Sing verse 2 on page 113.

 

Additional Quotes:

 “The concept of being filled with light and truth became particularly important to me because of an experience I had many years ago. I attended a meeting where members of the Young Women general board taught about creating spiritually strong families and homes. To visually demonstrate this, a Young Women leader held up two soda cans. In one hand she held a can that was empty and in the other hand a can that was unopened and full of soda. First, she squeezed the empty can; it began to bend and then collapsed under the pressure. Next, with her other hand, she squeezed the unopened can. It held firm. It didn’t bend or collapse like the empty can—because it was filled.

We likened this demonstration to our individual lives and to our homes and families. When filled with the Spirit and with gospel truth, we have the power to withstand the outside forces of the world that surround and push against us. However, if we are not filled spiritually, we don’t have the inner strength to resist the outside pressures and can collapse when forces push against us.”

Cheryl A. Esplin, Second Counselor, Primary General Presidency

“ Filling Our Homes with Light and Truth ,” April 2015 General Conference

“The Holy Ghost enlarges our minds, our hearts, and our understanding; helps us subdue weaknesses and resist temptation; inspires humility and repentance; guides and protects us in miraculous ways; and gifts us with wisdom, divine encouragement, peace of mind, a desire to change, and the ability to differentiate between the philosophies of men and revealed truth. The Holy Ghost is the minister and messenger of the Father and the Son, and He testifies of both Their glorious, global reality and Their connection to us personally. Without the presence of the Spirit, it is impossible to comprehend our personal mission or to have the reassurance that our course is right. No mortal comfort can duplicate that of the Comforter.”

Sheri L. Dew, Second Counselor, Relief Society General Presidency

“ We Are Not Alone ,” October 1998 General Conference

 

Links:

We are not alone

Press forward and be steadfast

The spirit of revelation

Amanda Barnes Smith’s story

Relief Society Lesson 24: The Atonement of Jesus Christ: Vast in Its Reach, Intimate in Its Effect

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I miss Relief Society (perhaps in 6 months I’ll know enough German for it to be worth attending), and I miss teaching, so this is the lesson I would give if I were teaching this lesson this week. Please take the parts that are useful to you, if you are teaching this lesson on another week.

Opening Hymn: 207 It Came upon the Midnight Clear or 214 I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day

This Sunday is the Second Sunday of Advent. People in churches that worship following a Lectionary, a calendar of scriptures, will hear the message of Isaiah:

Isaiah 40:1-11

1 Comfort, O comfort my people, says your God.

2 Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and cry to her that she has served her term, that her penalty is paid, that she has received from the Lord’s hand double for all her sins.

3 A voice cries out: “In the wilderness prepare the way of the LORD, make straight in the desert a highway for our God.

4 Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low; the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain.

5 Then the glory of the LORD shall be revealed, and all people shall see it together, for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.”

6 A voice says, “Cry out!” And I said, “What shall I cry?” All people are grass, their constancy is like the flower of the field.

7 The grass withers, the flower fades, when the breath of the LORD blows upon it; surely the people are grass.

8 The grass withers, the flower fades; but the word of our God will stand forever.

9 Get you up to a high mountain, O Zion, herald of good tidings; lift up your voice with strength, O Jerusalem, herald of good tidings, lift it up, do not fear; say to the cities of Judah, “Here is your God!”

10 See, the Lord GOD comes with might, and his arm rules for him; his reward is with him, and his recompense before him.

11 He will feed his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms, and carry them in his bosom, and gently lead the mother sheep.

What stands out to you in these verses? What kind of message is this?

Congregations who follow Anglican, Baptist, Episcopal, Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian and Catholic precepts – among others – will be today reminded of this letter from Peter:

2 Pet 3:8-15a (this is the NIV version, which I think reads more like the letter from a friend that this is – feel free to use the KJV)

8 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.

9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.

11 Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives

12 as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat.

13 But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.

14 So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him.

15 Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation.

For those who don’t know what Advent is, what does it sound like these congregations are looking forward to, when these are the scriptures they study today?

Explain that Advent is a period to look forward to the Second Coming of Christ and anticipate the coming celebration of the birth of the Saviour at the same time.

What do the first Christmas and the Second Coming have in common? Which is easier to celebrate and look forward to?

These are the words of Mary as she looked forward to the possibility of the first Christmas:

Luke 1:46-55

46 And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,

47 And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.

48 For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.

49 For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name.

50 And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.

51 He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.

52 He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree.

53 He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.

54 He hath helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy;

55 As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever.

What does it sound like Mary is looking forward to here? What kind of life does Mary have? Does she sound worried or scared here about the mighty being put down from their seats?

Did the things she prophesied come to pass in the life of her Son? Or her own life?

We cannot celebrate Christmas without also having mirrored the celebrations of the Second Coming and of Easter. The Saviour’s birth is important because He will come again, this time not as a child. It is important because He atoned for us, and died, and lived again. Our Easter hymns reminds us that He conquered fear and pain and death, and with our Christmas hymns we sing our hope for peace, joy and triumph.

Christmas is a time of rejoicing, of acting as though Christ has already come, and focusing on “peace on earth and mercy mild” and thinking of the kind, gentle sweetness of Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus. The Second Coming makes us think of all the work we have to do to prepare.

But isn’t it a little easier to have goodwill when we’re focussed on the rejoicing part? I think that’s the way we need to approach the atonement. It is about work, it’s difficult and sometimes painful and almost always slow, but it’s also already something to celebrate. Jesus has already atoned for our sins, has already experienced everything that we will suffer. The work is in accepting that, not in getting ourselves to a place where we’re good enough that Jesus will offer it. We are already good enough for the atonement to reach us.

President Gordon B Hinckley, the prophet of my youth, said: “I sense in a measure the meaning of His Atonement. I cannot comprehend it all. It is so vast in its reach and yet so intimate in its effect that it defies comprehension.”

It is hard to teach about this, because it is hard to learn about this. Can you share a time when you grasped the magnitude of the atonement, on the vast or intimate levels?

Laura Ingalls Wilder said: “We are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time.”

I think something about Christmas connects us to an eternal childhood, in which it is easier to remember that many of the unkind things children do are unintended consequences, and realise that we ourselves, though we all sin basically all the time, do not intend or want to be sinful. We are not inherently wicked, that is a condition of the Natural Man and Woman.

Are we gentler, more forgiving with children than ourselves? How about with someone just a few years younger? How can we extend the same forgiveness to ourselves?

At the same time, I recognise that we do sin pretty much constantly. It is not easy for me to hear the promises that Jesus will fill the hungry with good things and send the rich empty away without wondering which side I am on. The thing about humanity is that we are all both, rich and hungry. We are not like Jesus, born part-human and part-God. We will fail and hurt others and turn away from our Heavenly Parents over and over. Our job on earth is not to stop being human. We cannot become perfect by denying that part of ourselves. We can only become perfect by connecting with God and our Saviour, through accepting the atonement.

I find it so hard to express the totality of the atonement. I turn to this quote from Lighten Up by Chieko Okazaki when I need to better grasp its depth and individuality:

“Well, my dear sisters, the gospel is the good news that can free us from guilt. We know that Jesus experienced the totality of mortal existence in Gethsemane. It’s our faith that He experienced everything- absolutely everything. Sometimes we don’t think through the implications of that belief. We talk in great generalities about the sins of all humankind, about the suffering of the entire human family. But we don’t experience pain in generalities. We experience it individually. That means He knows what it felt like when your mother died of cancer- how it was for your mother, how it still is for you. He knows what it felt like to lose the student body election. He knows that moment when the brakes locked and the car started to skid. He experienced the slave ship sailing from Ghana toward Virginia. He experienced the gas chambers at Dachau. He experienced Napalm in Vietnam. He knows about drug addiction and alcoholism.

Let me go further. There is nothing you have experienced as a woman that He does not also know and recognize. On a profound level, He understands the hunger to hold your baby that sustains you through pregnancy. He understands both the physical pain of giving birth and the immense joy. He knows about PMS and cramps and menopause. He understands about rape and infertility and abortion. His last recorded words to his disciples were, “And, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.” (Matthew 28:20) He understands your mother-pain when your five-year-old leaves for kindergarten, when a bully picks on your fifth-grader, when your daughter calls to say that the new baby has Down syndrome. He knows your mother-rage when a trusted babysitter sexually abuses your two-year-old, when someone gives your thirteen-year-old drugs, when someone seduces your seventeen-year-old. He knows the pain you live with when you come home to a quiet apartment where the only children are visitors, when you hear that your former husband and his new wife were sealed in the temple last week, when your fiftieth wedding anniversary rolls around and your husband has been dead for two years. He knows all that. He’s been there. He’s been lower than all that. He’s not waiting for us to be perfect. Perfect people don’t need a Savior. He came to save his people in their imperfections. He is the Lord of the living, and the living make mistakes. He’s not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, in our unhappiness, in our guilt and our grief.”

We don’t accept the atonement by denying our sadness, by trying not to make mistakes. We accept the atonement by setting aside our plan to be perfect so that we don’t need to rely on Jesus, and listening to the still small voice.

Yes, perhaps that voice is asking you to sit with the discomfort of being a rich person in a world of increasing income inequality, and maybe that voice is whispering that you should make amends for an unkind joke or reminding you that when you were grumpy with that child it wasn’t really their fault. The still small voice does ask things of us, and sometimes hard things.

But this is important: Jesus doesn’t want us to feel bad and guilty and pained. Those hard things are all for our growth, and can coexist with peace in our human frailty, and a love of ourselves as the Saviour sees us. When He prayed in Gethsemane, He was not filled with resentment, but with love. He does not ask us to feel shame but to turn to each other.

When have you felt that you saw yourself as God or Jesus sees you?

Our job is not to avoid needing help from Jesus, our job is to become like Him — He who felt the pain and suffering and loss that every one of us has ever felt or will ever feel. Our job is to develop empathy, perhaps enough to commune with the divine for a little while longer today than yesterday, maybe enough to ease the burdens of our families and communities and nations.

Our job is to learn to love as He loves, as our Heavenly Parents love: with a love that gives all and holds back nothing, a love that includes ourselves and recognises the great worth of our own soul, and a love that expands to all the world until there is no-one hungry among us.

This Christmas, let us be kind to ourselves as we remember the small and vulnerable way that Jesus came to earth, and let us walk away from power and might and instead seek out the hungry to feed them, so that we may make Him feel at home when He returns.

Closing Hymn: 205 Once in Royal David’s City or 208 Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

Find Gospel Principles lesson plans at the Exponent website!

[image error]All of the lessons of the Gospel Principles manual are now available under “Lessons” on our main menu (the black menu bar) and at this link:

Gospel Principles Lessons

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Relief Society Lesson #25: Move Forward with Faith

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Faith is a Living, Vital Force

I would begin the lesson from Chapter 25: Move Forward with Faith with this quote from Gordon B. Hinckley:

”If there is any one thing that you and I need, to help us find success and fulfillment in this world, it is faith—that dynamic, powerful, marvelous element by which, as Paul declared, the very worlds were framed (see Hebrews 11:3). I refer not to some ethereal concept but to a practical, pragmatic, working faith—the kind of faith that moves us to get on our knees and plead with the Lord for guidance, and then, having a measure of divine confidence, get on our feet and go to work to help bring the desired results to pass. Such faith is an asset beyond compare. Such faith is, when all is said and done, our only genuine and lasting hope.” GBH Manual

What are some words Gordon B. Hinckley used to describe faith?  Dynamic, powerful, practical, pragmatic, working, divine confidence, asset… The words used in this quote paint a picture of a living dynamic faith, something that requires work and effort.

“… When I discuss faith, I do not mean it in an abstract sense. I mean it as a living, vital force that comes with recognition of God as our Father and Jesus Christ as our Savior. …”  GBH Manual

What does it mean for faith to be a living thing?  How does the cultivation of a living faith help us to press forward through the challenges of our lives?

Gordon B. Hinckley shared this analogy of moving forward with the light we have, even if we can only see a little distance ahead of us:

”Long ago I worked for one of our railroads whose tracks threaded the passes through [the] mountains. I frequently rode the trains. It was in the days when there were steam locomotives. Those great monsters of the rails were huge and fast and dangerous. I often wondered how the engineer dared the long journey through the night. Then I came to realize that it was not one long journey, but rather a constant continuation of a short journey. The engine had a powerful headlight that made bright the way for a distance of 400 or 500 yards. The engineer saw only that distance, and that was enough, because it was constantly before him all through the night into the dawn of the new day. …

And so it is with our eternal journey. We take one step at a time. In doing so we reach toward the unknown, but faith lights the way. If we will cultivate that faith, we shall never walk in darkness. …”  GBH Manual

Faith is the light that allows us to move forward without the need to be fully enlightened right at this moment.  We can take steps into the darkness without knowing exactly where our path is leading us.

 

The Opposite of Faith is Fear

We often mistakenly think that doubt is the opposite of faith, but doubts and struggles can actually keep faith a living breathing thing.  President Hinkcley’s analogy shows us that we need the darkness in order to need the light of faith.  So if doubt is not the opposite of faith, what is the opposite of faith?  The opposite of faith is fear.  When we live in fear, we inhibit our ability to experience faith.

“Who among us can say that he or she has not felt fear? I know of no one who has been entirely spared. Some, of course, experience fear to a greater degree than do others. Some are able to rise above it quickly, but others are trapped and pulled down by it and even driven to defeat. We suffer from the fear of ridicule, the fear of failure, the fear of loneliness, the fear of ignorance. Some fear the present, some the future. Some carry the burden of sin and would give almost anything to unshackle themselves from those burdens but fear to change their lives. Let us recognize that fear comes not of God, but rather that this gnawing, destructive element comes from the adversary of truth and righteousness. Fear is the antithesis of faith. It is corrosive in its effects, even deadly.

Paul wrote to Timothy: “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” GBH Manual

What are some things that you fear?  How do those fears keep you from moving forward to fulfill your purpose in life?  How does faith light a path for you so that you can see more clearly in the darkness of your life and move forward with confidence?

Eliza R. Snow wrote these beautiful words about faith:

“I will go forward. … I will smile at the rage of the tempest, and ride fearlessly and triumphantly across the boisterous ocean of circumstance. … And the “testimony of Jesus” will light up a lamp that will guide my vision through the portals of immortality, and communicate to my understanding the glories of the Celestial kingdom.” Eliza R. Snow, Relief Society President Poems, Religious, Historical, and Political, vol. 1 (1856)

Cultivating Living Faith in our Lives

Just as we often think doubt is the opposite of faith, we tend to think of faith as a perfect knowledge.  What is the relationship between faith and knowledge?  Alma tackled this question during his discourse on faith in Alma 32:

“And now as I said concerning faith—faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true.

 Now, as I said concerning faith—that it was not a perfect knowledge—even so it is with my words. Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge.“  Alma 32:26-27

As we mentioned before, faith is a living thing that requires constant work.  How do we cultivate our faith?

“But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me.

Now behold, would not this increase your faith? I say unto you, Yea; nevertheless it hath not grown up to a perfect knowledge.

But behold, as the seed swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, then you must needs say that the seed is good; for behold it swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow. And now, behold, will not this strengthen your faith? Yea, it will strengthen your faith: for ye will say I know that this is a good seed; for behold it sprouteth and beginneth to grow.

And now, behold, are ye sure that this is a good seed? I say unto you, Yea; for every seed bringeth forth unto its own likeness.

Therefore, if a seed groweth it is good, but if it groweth not, behold it is not good, therefore it is cast away.

And now, behold, because ye have tried the experiment, and planted the seed, and it swelleth and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow, ye must needs know that the seed is good.

And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand.

O then, is not this real? I say unto you, Yea, because it is light; and whatsoever is light, is good, because it is discernible, therefore ye must know that it is good; and now behold, after ye have tasted this light is your knowledge perfect?”  Alma 32:27-35

We can nurture our faith by testing the words and ideas we hear to see if they bring good fruits into our lives.  Just as seeds that we plant in the ground require work and nurturing to grow and evolve into their full potential, our faith also requires work and nurturing in order to grow in enlightenment.  As we grow in that faith, we will be more open to accepting the gifts of the spirit.  Faith will propel us forward, away from fear and toward a light that allows us to connect more fully with others and enjoy the fruits of faith together.

“There are great blessings and opportunities available— personal blessings that come through unshakable faith and opportunities that come through giving Christian service. I have confidence that our Latter-day Saint sisters will continue in their enthusiasm to promote righteousness, both in themselves and in others. Women internationally can share faith, values, experiences, and ideas. I have respect for the diversity among women and acknowledge the strengths, abilities, and talents they possess. We can relate to all women through the Spirit. Elaine S. Jack, Relief Society President “Faith, Hope, and Charity: Inspiration from the Lives of General Relief Society Presidents.” 2008.

 

 

 

How do you feel about that?

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Dante et Béatrice by Odilon Redon

A while back, with the feedback of Exponent readers, I completed a detailed analysis of church policy and its effects on women and submitted it to my Stake President, who had agreed to pass it on to General Authorities of the LDS church.

Months later, my stake president met with me and told me that a member of the Presidency of the Seventy (He didn’t tell me his name or which Quorum of the Seventy he belonged to) said that they had shared the report in their “quorums” (Which quorums? Unknown) and told him to tell me that they appreciated all the work and thought I had put into it. My stake president felt that Mystery General Authority actually did appreciate my effort, was complimentary about the report’s quality and not at all defensive about its content. According to Mystery General Authority, they were already working on some of the policy changes I had suggested and after reading my report, were now considering some of the other suggestions that I had made that they had not thought of before (Which suggestions? I dunno).

That General Authority’s anonymous response had been vague, kind, noncommittal and nonthreatening. It wasn’t a good response, nor was it a bad one.

But when I told fellow Exponent blogger EmilyCC about what he said, her response was perfect. “April,” she said. “How do you feel about that?”

Well, I felt frustrated.  This cleverly crafted response precluded any follow-up on my part as an advocate, and any accountability on the part of priesthood leaders. Even as priesthood leaders promised change, they upheld patriarchy by excluding me. But I was also relieved.  Previous interactions with my stake president had been hostile and threatening, and I was glad that Mystery GA had modeled a more calm reaction and pointed out that my work had value.

It was something of a relief to me that before breaking out into either congratulations or condolences, my friend gave me space to explore how I felt about my news.

Since that time, I have noticed that “How do you feel about that?” is a kind and empathetic response to all kinds of ambiguously good or bad news:

“I’m quitting my job.”

“I’m moving.”

“My in-laws are moving in.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“I’m not pregnant.”

I wish I had thought to ask, “How do you feel about that?” when I heard the (joyful?) (devastating?) news that a friend had given birth to a child with Down’s syndrome. ( I wrote about my actual, more awkward attempt at congratulating her here.) With the help of this simple question, I feel better equipped to express empathy for my friends and family as they experience their life journeys, without imposing my own opinion about how they should feel.

Thoughts from a Mormon, Palestinian Woman RE: Trump’s Jerusalem Declaration

Have you ever dodged bullets to attend sacrament meeting? Sahar Qumsiyeh has. This Palestinian woman in now living in the US, but still has some strong words for President Trump and his declaration of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel.

 

Read her blog here. 

Same-sex marriage officially signed into law in Australia

Same-sex marriage officially signed into law in Australia

 

Same-sex marriage was made legal with a majority “Yay” vote in both houses of Parliament. According to the recent poll querying the public in regard to marriage equality, almost 60% of the Australian voting public voted for same-sex marriage.

What I Told My Daughter on the Day of Her Baptism

[image error]A few months ago, my daughter was baptized. I’ve known since I was nine years old that I would struggle with having no part in the baptism ceremonies of my children. As we prepared for the baptism, I looked for different ways in which I could play a part. My request to conduct the ceremony was denied and I decided not to escalate the issue. I spoke with Exponent blogger Caroline at the Exponent II retreat in September and her advice guided me toward what my soul hungered for: to make the baptism a space where my husband and I were both acknowledged as spiritual leaders in our family. I wrote myself into the program, speaking at the very end. The following are my remarks.

Today I want to talk to you a little about courage. In our family, we’ve talked about how words come from older words and how words change over time to mean different things. I’m going to tell you a little bit about where the word courage comes from and how it has changed. We think of courage as about doing big, scary things that get lots of attention. But if you look at the history of the word, it means something a little different. Courage comes from an old French word “corage” which means “heart” or “innermost feelings.” It comes from the Latin word “cor” which meant  inner strength.” The original meaning of the word “courage” was “to speak one’s mind by telling all of one’s heart.”

We named you Cora for several reasons. The first is that we loved your great-grandmother, Cora Gertrude, and wanted to honor her. The second is because of what your name means. In French, the word heart is coeur. In Spanish, the word is corazon. I just told you that the Latin word cor means “innermost strength or heart.” Coeur, corazon, cor–do you all of those sound like “Cora” to you? Your name comes from the same words that built the word “courage” and your name can remind you every day that you have a strong, compassionate heart.

Today, you were baptized. Fulfilling the promises you made at baptism takes courage. When we’re baptized, we promise to take upon us the name Christ, always remember Him, keep His commandments, and stand as a witness of God. Scripture tells us that we also promise to bear one another’s burdens and mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. Showing love to others takes a special kind of courage. It’s hard to love people you don’t always like, or mourn with people who have made choices you don’t agree with. That’s when you have to think about corage–about using your whole heart. That kind of courage requires speaking from your heart.

We have help from God in this work. Psalms 31:24 tells us, “Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.”

[image error]I have a present for you. There are two necklaces here. The first necklace is for you. You can wear it to remind yourself that you have a strong heart. I have watched you for more than eight years, and I know that you have a strong heart. You are a kind, generous person. But sometimes you might need reminding, so this necklace will help with that.

The second necklace has a hole in it. Can you see it? The hole is in the shape of a heart. When you were born, my former Young Women’s leader sent me a card saying, “Having a child means to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.” Do you know what that means? It means that when someone has a child, they love that child so much that it feels like a piece of them, one of the very deepest parts of them, is inside that child. So I’m going to wear this necklace, because this piece of my heart, the one that is missing right here, is carried by you. And I’m going to wear this necklace to remind you of that. I want it to remind you that your dad and I love you so much that you carry a part of our hearts around all the time.

You might face some hard things in your life and so today I’m giving you a mother’s blessing to remind you of what you should do when you face those hard things. First, I bless you to remember that you are courageous. You are Cora of the Big Heart, and you are strong and good. You have your name and your necklace to remind you of that.

Second, I bless you to remember the necklace I wear and remember that you carry some of my heart. If you ever need it, I’ll lend you some of my courage. And listen: it’s not just my heart you carry with you. It’s Dad’s too. And who else? Your grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, and all the other people in this room. We all love you and are here for you. And who else? You carry a piece of Jesus’ heart as well. He loves you even more than I do, which is hard for me to imagine. And who else? Our Heavenly Parents–our Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother. They love you most of all, and they’ve given you the best gift of all today–the gift of the Holy Ghost–so that they can share their hearts–their courage and inner strength–with you. So if you ever need some extra courage, you can call on the Holy Ghost to lend you a piece of the hearts of your Heavenly Parents.

With all those hearts to carry with you, I know you can face any challenge, any hard thing in your life, with courage, love, compassion, faith, hope, and charity. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Favorite Christmas Books for Kids

Every year, starting on December 1st, I set out a basket of holiday-themed children’s books, complete with a list of which books to read each year.  Ideally, we would all sit together by a twinkling Christmas tree every night and read them aloud, but since that doesn’t always happen, I have them out and available for the kids to read to themselves (and each other) throughout the month.  It’s taken me several years to accumulate enough books, and I keep switching them out when I find a new favorite or two, but I wanted to share some of my very favorites for those who are looking to build a library of their own!  And don’t forget to check out Heather’s post on this same topic from a few years ago – I used her post to find some new favorites, and Christmas Tapestry is now a must-read in my home!

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“B is for Bethlehem” by Isabel Wilner is one of my favorites.  It goes through the entire alphabet, relating each letter to aspects of the Nativity story with lulling rhymes and gorgeous illustrations.  It’s perfect for kids of all ages – younger children who are just learning letters will be delighted to see and name the letters that they recognize, and older children are able to recognize aspects of the Christmas story and appreciate the clever way the rhymes and stories are told.

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“The Little Shepherd’s Christmas” by Carol Heyer is the story of three shepherd brothers who are watching their flocks on the night of Christ’s birth.  Reuel, the youngest, shows tremendous faith in both caring for his lambs and in seeking the newborn King.  This one is especially nice for my family, because we have three boys, and the dynamics of Nagid, Amitz, and Reuel are all to familiar to us (a little nagging, a little bossing around…).

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“Christmas is Here” is the story directly from the book of Luke in the King James Bible, but with gorgeous illustrations by Lauren Castillo.  It’s a beautiful way to make the language from the Bible more accessible and vibrant to young children.

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“It’s Christmas, David!” by David Shannon is another family favorite.  True to the form of the other David books by Shannon, David is hilariously naughty and is constantly being reprimanded.  The illustrations are hilarious and bright, and the page where David runs down the road without pants with the words, “Santa’s watching, David!” make my kids cackle hysterically every single time.  It does a good job of showing just how hard it is to follow all the rules as a kid (there are so many rules!) and has a heart-warming ending.

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“Olivia Helps With Christmas” by Ian Falconer is whimsical and fun.  We have the board book version, and it has been one that we enjoyed with toddlers and continue to enjoy with our young kids.  The character of Olivia is so fantastic – my kids love this one.

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“The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” is the picture book version of the longer middle grade book about the unkept, raucous Herdman family who join the annual Christmas pageant at the church.  From suggesting that the Wise Men bring pizza to Gladys’ yell of “Hey! Unto you a child is born! He’s in the barn!”, this book shows us that the Christmas story is for everyone.  This one makes me cry EVERY SINGLE TIME, no matter what. It’s a humbling, beautiful, hilarious book, and is maybe my favorite of all the books we read every year.

We also have a few books in our rotation to celebrate the winter holidays of other faiths and cultures!

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“Latkes and Applesauce” is the story of a family that is stuck home with a blizzard that covers all the apples and potatoes, thus making the traditional Hanukkah latkes and applesauce impossible.  But as the Menashe family takes in some surprising strangers, the feast becomes a possibility once again.

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“K is for Kwanzaa” is an alphabet book that explains the African-American holiday of Kwanzaa letter-by-letter, and the values and rituals that surround it.

 

What are some of your favorite children’s holiday books?