Alexa Shepard's Blog, page 9

Stop Look And Listen

This past weekend I had the pleasure of having my two grandchildren stay with me.  Everywhere I took them, when we got out of the car, I would tell them to STOP, LOOK and LISTEN.  It was a mantra I had taught my own children, and I'm sure one you have taught yours.

This weekend was a busy and chaotic one for me.  My son was graduating high school, my daughter was moving home from Nebraska, and I was throwing a graduation party.  My grand-daughter started the weekend off with a 105 temperature.  There were seven personalities sharing some cramped spaces in my home.  Amidst the busyness and commotion, I felt God trying to get my attention....

STOP   LOOK  and LISTEN.  

STOP.  Everything does not have to go perfectly or be perfect.  Stop moving and doing and be still.  Stop and rock that baby.  Stop and play cars with your grandson on the floor.  They are small for only a short time.  Stop and take in the amazing accomplishment your son made at graduation.  Live in the moment.  Relish the new adventure your son is going on.  Stop and be present.  

LOOK. Take the time to look around.  See all these blessings I have given you.  Enjoy watching your children as young adults, playing with their niece and nephew.  Look into their eyes as they tell you a story.  Memorize their faces, their smile, and their laugh. This moment won't last forever. Really see your graduating child and reflect on how grown up he is.  There is a little boy turned Godly man.  Look at how far he has come from that little boy learning to read, learning to get along with others, and learning to navigate the world.  

LISTEN.  Take the time to listen to each person.  The people attending the graduation party are people I don't see very often.  Listen, connect, hear their story.

As my weekend came to a close, I sat outside under the stars with my freshly bathed grandson.  We watched the bats fly around, and counted the stars.  The world was quiet and still.  With many prompts and reminders, I had learned to STOP, LOOK and LISTEN.  I had soaked up every moment I could have.  I felt blessed and at peace.  I had listened to my fathers instruction.  I know God was smiling.  "Well done my good and faithful servant."  Matthew 25:21

STOP LOOK and LISTEN is not just something we teach our children.  It is something that sometimes we have to re-learn ourselves.  I encourage you to be present in the moments that make up your lives.  Stop long enough to enjoy what is in front of you.  See all that you have instead of thinking about what you do not have.  Listen to God's still small voice directing your life.  

Confessions Of A Non Food Mom

Confession time.....  I have an addiction.  I have a compulsion that I cannot control.  It strikes at the grocery store, Walmart, the bookstore, and heaven help me, Home Depot!  I cannot escape the temptations!  My addiction is cooking magazines. I see these beautiful, glossy, full color, scrumptious food pictures, and I think, oh YUM, something different, I can make that.  In truth I probably like it because someone else has made it.   My cooking magazines are more like a collection, as I never really make any of the recipes.  Oh, I have the best intentions, but when it comes right down to it and my busy schedule presses down on me, I resort to what I know.  

I'm not really a food person.  Unless you count ice cream and chocolate.  I wish I was, because I HAVE to cook!  Why couldn't this be my passion?  Something useful!!!  After all, I have kids to keep alive, and they want to eat every day!  The only way I have managed to keep my kids alive this long, was with the "crockpot".  What a marvelous invention!  I could actually cook dinner in the mornings when things were relatively quiet, and I was not completely exhausted from the rocking, bathing, diaper changing, coloring, lego building, playdough sculpting and homework monitoring. Once I learned you can even throw in a completely frozen roast with all the veggies and it still would be ready by 5 pm, I was the happiest mom on the block.

"Hot-dish" was another staple in the house.  The kids would ask, "hey mom, whats for dinner?"  And I would reply, "hot-dish".  Now anyone who is from the Midwest knows that hot-dish is a term we use for anything that is mixed all together, usually with Campbell soup, and plopped in the oven.  So when the kids want to know what kind of hot-dish, I can't really tell them.  It all depends on what is in the fridge and pantry..  I just know it is going in the oven and solving all my problems.  

I am more of an eat cake for breakfast kind of mom.  I am WAY too tired to make eggs or pancakes in the early morning hours.  Besides, cake has eggs and flour in it, so whats the big deal.  Pie is good too, cause it has fruit.  Right?  A big brunch is reserved for after church on Sundays.  The day of rest.  HA

So here is the plan.  I have to start using some of the amazing recipes I have collected.  So this summer I am making a vow to try some new ones and post them.  If they are simple, easy, and good, you can maybe add them to your bag of tricks too.  And please post comments.

I Want More

My two year old grandson asked me to fill his cup with orange juice.  As I am putting the lid on his cup he breaks down.  His little arms are in the air, he is crumpling to the ground, and is that a tear I see in his eye?  He is chanting through broken sobs, "I don't want that much!  I don't want that much! I want more!"  As I am trying to get my brain to catch up to what is happening, my mind is racing through the previous scenario.  He did say orange juice........right?  Then it hits me.  I didn't fill it enough.  After I have comforted him, I told him that if he drank all of that, then I would surely give him more.  (surely is his favorite word lately)

Aren't we all like that?  We raise our fists at God and sob to him that we want more.  Not just the little bit he has given us.  I am reminded of the talents story in the bible. Matthew 25:14-30  Jesus tells a story about a man who gave three of  his servants talents, each according to his ability.  The first two invested and traded and multiplied their talents.  The third however, buried his in the ground.  He was afraid of losing it, or perhaps that he would not be given any more.  The first two servants were praised but the third one was reprimanded.  "For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. "

Maybe God is waiting to see what we do with what he has already entrusted with us before he give us more.  Will we sip it gingerly to make it last?  Will we squirrel it away just in case we really need it?  Or will we drink it down and know that God will refill our cup with abundance every time?

College Acceptance Letter- part 2

A few weeks ago I wrote about the disappointment and surprise that my son had at not being accepted into the college of his choice.  (See college acceptance letter on previous blog.   www.alexashepard.com )  When he was a "shoe in", he got a red light.  I talked about how sometimes it feels as if God is not answering our prayers by giving us the desires of our heart.  How sometimes it simply doesn't make sense.  But God's plans for us are bigger than our dreams. " I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord.  "plans to prosper you and not harm you.  Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11  

And so here is the rest of the story.....

A few days after the rejection letter came, my son received a letter from his second choice college.  They were giving him the "Lumberjack Scholarship".  A full tuition scholarship!  The next day he was accepted into the honors program, which included special benefits and preferred housing.  A payment for housing was due by the end of the month.  The next day an email came.  They were waiving the fee.  WOW!  I thought to myself... Is God just showing off now?  

I am so thankful that God showed so boldly to my son, that he had a bigger and better plan for him.  Ironically it was always a big desire of my son's to go to college debt free.

When we are hit with the disappointment of not getting what we pray for, we need to remember that God is still in control.  A "no" can be for our protection, or it could be that God has something better in store for us that we simply can't see from where we are.  

We don't always get to see God's other plan for us so quickly, like my son did, but I guarantee that someday you will see it.  

Mom's, pray for your kids, counsel them and point them to Jesus.  God is still on the throne and every situation is an opportunity to tap into God's immense love for them.  Like any good father would, our heavenly father wants what is best for us.  The sooner we learn to trust God in all circumstances, the sooner we can teach this to our children.  Think of the Lord's prayer.  It says  "thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven."  Not OUR will.  I don't know about you, but that's a load off my shoulders.  God is in control.  God has it.  God has my back, and is ultimately leading the way.  When I trust him when things don't make sense, when I place my faith in him, I can live a life of joy and contentment irregardless of my situation.

Are You A Superwoman Mom?

Superwoman moved into my house, and I can't get her to leave.  I'm pretty sure she has always been there, but lately she's been getting on my nerves and her super powers are weakening.  I have already searched the house for hidden kryptonite, but I think the reality is, that superwoman is just worn out.  Does this sound familiar?

I pick up projects like a squirrel picks up nuts to store for the winter.  And as my mom says, "if you want something done, ask a busy person."  And they ask.,,,and ask,,,,and ask.

I can do a lot, so usually I do.  I like being the person who can pull off anything.  However; just because I can, doesn't mean I should.  I'm going to be busy by nature.  I have five kids.  (and lady's I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but just because your children are young adults, doesn't mean your job gets easier.)  I also have two grandchildren and my parents are 85. I am in demand, and I can only spread myself so far. 

There are broken cars, broken bones and broken hearts aplenty.  There is making dinner, making costumes, and making time to talk. There is driving to karate, driving to school and driving to rehearsal.  Before I have said "yes" to anything else, I'm BUSY!  And let's face it, who else is going to do it?  Who can do it?  It's a "mom thing".

I have had to cut a lot of things out of my life.  I spend less time sharing coffee with a friend, less time relaxing and reading a good book, and happy hour at a restaurant?  Forget it!  My happy hour is when my head hits the pillow!

People's  advice to an over busy mom's schedule is to say no, more.  But sometimes we are busy without even getting to the things we can say "no" to.  I am thinking part of the solution is to delegate more.  Put the task in other capable hands and then let it go.  Because it's a "mom" thing doesn't mean a sibling can't do it for them.  Because my parents need help doesn't mean I can't ask my children to help them.  I guess I have just been so busy doing, I forgot to notice that my kids, at any age, can help.  Ironically, when they were much younger, I actually had them doing more!  They read stories to the younger ones, helped with homework, and cooked a meal.

Superwoman is going to get some much needed rest, and she is going to call in the justice league for help.  I'll  let you know how well that goes.......

5 Minutes Uninterrupted

To My Dearest Children,

I will tell you this again today, even though I told you yesterday.  " No, I do not need an audience in the bathroom.  And yes, all four of you fit in here, but not comfortably.  And no, you can not sit on my lap........ I'm going PEE!"

And then I announce that I am going to take a bath. (I haven;t had one in 3 days)  I tell the oldest he is in charge.  I tell the others I need 5 minutes uninterrupted.  

Exactly 45 seconds later the littlest one is standing next to the tub taking his clothes off.  "Can I get in too?"  And before I can respond, PLUNK - he is in the tub.  Hearing the splash, in walks my son.  "Mommy look at the picture I drew."  I tell him it's really nice, and to go draw another one.  But he is already undressing and PLUNK - in the tub.

I try to wash my hair real fast, when in walks my daughter.  "Can you help me get this dress off my dolly?"  She looks at her brothers.... "Hey can we get in?"  "No I tell her," but she and her doll are already dipping their toes in the water.  My oldest son knocks on the door.  "Are the kids in there?"  That's it!  I'm out.  The children all stop their splashing, "Hey Mom, where are you going?"

After I get all three kids and one doll, out of the tub, dried off and redressed, I pull out the playdough.  This usually buys me a little time.  I sneak off to the kitchen.  Perhaps I can have 5 minutes uninterrupted.  I go to my secret chocolate hiding spot and retrieve my hidden stash of chocolate.  I just get the wrapper off and I am about to take that glorious first bite, when like a herd of gazelles, my four children appear.  It's like they can HEAR it, or SMELL it!  Some secret, high pitched, only children can hear, fire alarm went off in the house and everyone comes running.  "Oh yum chocolate.  Can I have a bite?"  

SIXTEEN YEARS LATER:

Evidently those living in my house,  still think I need an audience to use the bathroom. My children have been replaced by two very hairy dogs.  As soon as I disappear into the bathroom, the dogs are searching for me.  One of them finds me, "Hey look, she's in here," and the other one comes running.  They take this opportunity to stare at me and wag their tails.  They both jockey for the best position to be petted.  "No, I do not need your help, and no, you can not jump into my lap!"    "I'm going PEE!"

I announce to my teenagers, "I need 5 minutes uninterrupted to soak in the tub."  My thousand times up and down the ladder muscles are rebelling and I am covered in paint.  I am just about to lay my head back into the water, when there is a knock on the door.  "Hey mom, can I borrow the car?"  "Yes " I reply.  30 seconds later there is another knock on the door.  "We need our permission slip signed for laser tag."  I wrap the curtain around the tub and tell her to come in.  With wet hands I sign it.

I slink back into the tub and close my eyes.  Just as I come up for air, thee is a knock on the door.  "Mom, our ride is here, we need money."  That's it!  I'm out.  I wrap a towel around myself, grab money from my purse and send them out the door.  I head toward the kitchen to my secret chocolate hiding spot.  As I open the box, I see that it is EMPTY!  My oldest daughter emerges from her room.  Seeing my expression on my face, she casually says, "Mom, we all know your secret hiding spot.  You've been using it for years."

I think I need a new hiding spot.  Perhaps in the dishwasher, no one ever goes near that thing.  

 

Dairy Free, Egg Free Chocolate Chip Cookies

vegan chocolate chip cookies

When you think about going to grandma's house, you think of homemade cookies.  Cookies are a standard Grandma feature.  My own grandma even put a plate of cookies out for breakfast!  You don't need to be a grandma to bake cookies, but you MUST bake them if you are!

Unfortunately my grandson is allergic to eggs, dairy, nuts, peanuts, sunflower seeds and legumes.  So, I found it a challenge to bake him cookies that he could eat.  It took some time, but I found one.  I wanted to share it with you so if you have a child, or someone close to you with allergies, you can still make delicious chocolate chip cookies for them.

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour1/2 teaspoon baking powder1/2 teaspoon baking soda1/4 teaspoon salt1/2 cup of coconut oil1/2 cup dark brown sugar1/4 cup of sugar1/4 cup of unsweetened applesauce1 teaspoon vanilla1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Instructions

In a small bowl whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.  Set aside.  In a medium bowl, using an electric mixer, cream together coconut oil and sugars until light and fluffy.  Add applesauce and vanilla and beat until well combined.  Gradually add dry ingredients to wet ingredients, stirring until well blended.  Stir in chocolate chips.  Refrigerate dough for 2 hours or overnight.  

Preheat oven to 350 and line cookie sheets with parchment paper.  Scoop rounded tablespoons of dough onto cookie sheets, 2 inches apart.  Bake for 7-9 minutes, or until edges are slightly brown.

This recipe called for one egg, which I could not use.  An easy substitute for egg is unsweetened applesauce.  1 egg = 1/4 cup applesauce.  I also added 1 tsp more of baking powder to give it a more cake like texture.  You can omit this if  you want.  

Make sure you buy dairy free chocolate chips you if you a dairy allergy.  I find mine at Sprouts and I can get chocolate chunks, mini chips or regular chips there.

Bon Appetit!

 

 

 

A Gracious Receiver

Many years ago, when my first child was just a baby, I went on a shopping trip with my mother-in-law.  She spotted a beautiful cobalt blue, silk lined dress and told me to try it on.  My wardrobe consisted of sweat pants, over sized t-shirts and high tops.  But I tried it on..........for her.  Immediately when I stepped into it, it slid on like butter.   I had never felt anything like it.  My mother-in-law exclaimed, "I am buying this for you!"  I felt unworthy.  Where would I ever wear it?  It was too expensive and lavish to hang in my closet with "no place to go".  She bought me that dress, insisting that every girl needs something lined.  She then told me I needed to be a gracious receiver.  Through the years I found many occasions to wear that dress.  

My mother-in-law has given my children many things.  She has helped them buy cars, pay for college expenses and most recently she helped my oldest son buy a house for his young family.  She does it because she loves them.  She does it because she loves to give.

When we give to someone, especially someone in need, it feels great!  Most of us love the feeling of giving, but not all of us love the feeling of receiving.  Sometimes it makes us feel weak or needy.  At times we feel unworthy.  But not being a gracious receiver steals the joy from the giver.  A refusal of a gift can be a painful thing.  Are you a gracious receiver?

Jesus gave his life for us.  He died on the cross for US!  It was a gift he gave because he loves us.  What is your response to this gift?  Are you a gracious receiver?

The seed my mother-in-law planted years ago, to teach me to be a gracious receiver, has grown.  It bares the fruit of someone who is so thankful and so honored to be loved so much. And the truth is.....I'm not  worthy.  None of us are really.  But we are so loved! 

The Years Are Short

I ran into an older man the other night, sitting alone at a table in a restaurant.  I had seen this man before, sitting at his table reading his book.   For some reason, before I realized it, my feet were moving, I was walking to his table.  Our conversation flowed so naturally and came so easy.  This old man shared his story with me.  His wife of 57 years had just passed and the emptiness and ache in his heart was almost palatable.  He told me about how he asked her to the junior prom in 1946, and how they lost their only daughter in a car accident.

When we finished talking I had a mist in my eyes as I walked away.  When I turned back around, I saw him wipe the corners of his own eyes.  I was so deeply touched by how deeply this man loved, and how interwoven this man's heart was with his beloved.  I'm sure he was moved by having someone to share his story with.

He said something that resonated in my heart.  "Don't miss a single moment with those you love.  Because the time goes by so fast."  I know this is true.  It seems like just the other day my children were all little.  I thought the terrible twos would last forever, but they went by in the blink of an eye.

Enjoy every day.  Every precious gift of time  The days may be long, but the years are so short.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall.....

My dad is a hunter-gatherer.  The very unlucky few who have seen my garage, now understand that it is not entirely my fault, but something my dad apprenticed me to do.  He loves a bargain, and free on the side of the road is even better.  We simply are re-purposing things, and helping to leave a lighter footprint on the environment. (your welcome landfills)  Besides, you never know when you are going to need an old rickety bicycle wheel!

Last week I arrived home to find a few treasures by my front door.  There were some folding chairs, which I passed on to my son, a couple end tables, which I promptly cut,  re-figured and created into a makeup table for my daughter, and a makeup mirror.  And then it happened.  I looked into the mirror.  

This was no ordinary mirror.  This was a 5000x magnified enemy!  I could see way more than I ever thought lived on my face.  My first thought was "WHO TOOK MY FACE AND REPLACED IT WITH THIS ONE!"  But.... it was mine.  Every wrinkled, sagging, chin haired, sun spotted blemish.  In fact I saw so much peach fuzz on my face, that I believed in Bigfoot for the first time!!

Where was the warning label picture???  You know, like the one on the hair dryer (don't dry your hair in the bathtub) duh.  Or the one on the electric outlet (don't stick a bobby pin in the light socket) umm ok.  They needed one on this mirror!  They needed a picture of a 50 year old mom with five kids looking in the mirror and crying her eyes out!

Just as I am about to collapse from a state of shock into the nearest chair, a thought flickers through my brain.  All these fine lines are like a map of my journey, forged from worry, concern, excitement and joy.  The deep creases that are on both sides of my mouth, are a talisman for all the times my kids made me laugh, a real belly laugh.  The lines chiseled on my forehead are from all the times I raised an eyebrow at the kids.  (this is my preferred method of getting my kids in line.)  The brown patches of sunspots are a reminder of the numerous, marvelous hours spent on the beach in Mexico with the kids.  My face, I realize, is like a beautiful scrapbook.  A keepsake of all the events tragic and marvelous, that made me who I am.

 I set the mirror aside. I love that my life has been so full.  Full of adventures and a life well lived.  But there is only so much reminiscing a girl can take.  From now on, I will just take my glasses off and stand back from the bathroom mirror with the lights off. After-all,  it has been working for me so far.