Alexa Shepard's Blog, page 7

Giving Grace

Today I spent the day with my two precious grandchildren.  Within minutes of walking through their front door, I knew something was amiss.  The littlest one was wrapped in her blankie and snugly tucked up into the arms of her uncle.  Two runny noses and one breakdown on the floor with real tears, and I knew my two little lovies were feeling sick.

The morning was rough, with smiles only coming out when I miraculously found two dum dum suckers roaming around the bottom of my purse.  (thank goodness I never clean that thing out)  I was under strict instructions "no candy" but desperate times called for desperate measures!  When I heard the "crunch" of the sucker between my grandson's teeth, I knew my stall technique was nearing its expiration date.

Sure enough 5 minutes later there was a catastrophic meltdown.  The littlest one looked at her brother wrong, he looked at her wrong, the little one starts crying, my grandson starts crying LOUDLY, stomps his feet running all the way to his room and slams the door.  I am left speechless, eyebrows raised, thinking wait.... what just happened?  And..... he's only three and that was a total teenager move.    Impressive.  It only takes me four seconds to jump to my feet and make it to his door.  When my hand turns the knob, it's locked.  I can hear him sobbing loudly on his bed, and I don't need tell you how not a good idea it is to have an upset three year old behind a locked door.  I NEEDED to get in there!  Within ten seconds I had already scanned my brain for options.  I could 1. pick the lock.  ( but it's not my house and it would take me way to long to locate anything useful 2. break the door down (this would probably traumatize him) 3. demand he open the door. ( which never really works when a three year old is holding all the cards.)  But something nudged in my spirit and I got down on my knees and spoke through the crack in the door frame.  "Pumpkin pie, I love you.  I want to take you in my arms and tell you how special you are."  The loud sobbing stopped just as abruptly as it started.   The littlest one pattered over to the door and joined me.  "You need a great big hug and lots of loving."  The door swung open and seeing his little sister he swooped her up in his arms.

Isn't that what we all need on a bad day?  A day when we feel lousy and touchy?  We need to be loved right where we are at.  We don't need a lecture or a "buck up mister", we need grace.  That is exactly the kind of love and compassion that God gives us.  Broken bodies, broken hearts and broken dreams find refuge and mercy in God's arms.  He calls out to us in a tender loving voice, " come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. "  Matthew 11:28.  And my favorite verse of all time "God draws near to the brokenhearted and crushed in spirit."  Psalm 34:18

We have this great opportunity to show others God's great gift of mercy and grace.  We can model to our children or grandchildren, that no matter where they are at, that our loving arms and God's embrace can bring comfort and acceptance even on a dark day.

The dum dum sucker may have only lasted a minute, but the grace that was served up that day, will be etched on my grandson's heart forever.

The Art Of Creating

Years ago I taught an art masterpiece class to preschool and kindergarten kids.  One of the creative pieces we did was to have the children draw a picture of their house.  Each child was given a tall rectangular drawing of a box with windows.  the children were instructed to fill in the details to make it their own.  

What I didn't expect, and what I found fascinating was how much I discovered about each child by what and how they drew the features on their house.  There was one little girl who was painfully shy.  Her bangs shaded her eyes from the world and she rarely spoke a word.  In her house picture she drew herself in the very top window.  Outside the house she drew her mom and dad and sister and brothers.  Everything was drawn in the same color, black.  Another little girl with a bubbly, giddy personality had a house with every color imaginable.  It was a kaleidoscope of colors.  She had flowers, trees, birds, butterflies , white puffy clouds and a bright pink house with polka dots.  The contrast between these two little girl's drawings was just as striking as the contrast in their demeanor and personalities.

Art therapists will tell you that children draw what they feel.  It's a reflection of their heart condition.  I learned about art therapy when my 2 year old daughter was in the hospital having surgery on her kidneys.  An art therapist was sent in to assess my daughters pain level so they could properly medicate her.  My daughter was given a doll and magic markers and told to draw on the doll.  At two years old they were looking for "where" she drew on the doll, and "what" color she chose.  Older kids she said, would draw faces with smiles or frowns, band-aids or scribbles on painful areas.   I learned something interesting about art, it can be an expression or reflection of the heart.

Sometimes what we create is an outward expression of what is in our heart.  But what if the reverse is true?  What if what we create, becomes what resides in our heart?  What we think, and what we speak is all creating.  After-all, God created the universe and all the things in it just by speaking, and God is the ultimate creator.

How I chose to "create" in my mind, that is thoughts, imagination, beliefs will be what I express to the world, because they will take up residency in my heart.  The same is true of what I chose to say.  "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks."  Luke 6:45  I can create an atmosphere of peace, love and harmony, or I can create sadness, anger and hurt.  

We are creating all the time, usually by not even realizing it.  I want to create on purpose, with purpose.  I want my words, actions and thoughts to reflect the character of God.  All the goodness, all the grace, all the joy overflowing.  "Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life" Proverbs 4:23  This includes what we think about, care about and what we chose to do, or where we chose to go.

Your heart is so important to God, that the word heart is used in the bible almost one thousand times!  He talks about it more than anything else.  More than sin, more than obedience and even more than love.  According to God, the condition of our heart will determine the conduct and quality of our life.  Our heart is the supply source of life.  Our ability or capacity to live through grace, love and faith, comes from within, not from our circumstances.  

The beautiful thing is that the master creator designed your heart, a priceless masterpiece, unique to you and on purpose.  When God says to guard your heart, its because it was always designed to be pure and good.  That is why I believe he instructed us how to have a heart that reflects his original desire for us.  "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent and praiseworthy, think about such things. Whatever you have learned or seen or heard from me, or seen in me, put it into practice.  Philippians 4:8-9

We were all created in God's image.  Part of that image is the ability to create.  What an awesome gift God gave us.  But it comes with responsibility.  And that responsibility is to create from a heart that was designed to reflect God's character and desires.  Art is creating, but more importantly creating is an art.

 

 

What Splashing In Puddles Taught Me About Faith

This morning over some cinnamon toast, my 3 year old grandson and I had a conversation.  He said, "Grandma, yesterday I was talking to God and I told him that I like splashing in puddles."  "So I asked him to make some rain so I could do that."  We talked about how he likes to splash in puddles and he hopped down off his chair to show me.  After a few stomps, twirls, and falling on the ground, he stood up all serious and asked, "Grandma, do you have an umbrella?  Because it's gonna rain."  And my heart smiled.

My grandson is busy.  On the mornings that he shows up at my front door to play, he is like a sprinter coming off the starting blocks.  And here is how our morning goes.  Cereal, toast, play-dough, snack, dig in the dirt, trampoline, snack, horseshoes, build a fort, snack, painting, ride black beauty, snack.  Walk, collect rocks, snack.  Play with hot-wheels,  make stuff in the play kitchen, snack.  You get the idea, and this all takes place within 3 hours.  Yes, there is a lot of snacking at Grandmas house.  He is VERY busy!

Honestly we are all busy.  I know I'm not the only one who feels like there are never enough hours in the day.  I know that a lot of us out there conquering the world, are running on 4 hours sleep and 7 cups of coffee.  We hop out of bed and hit the ground running.  The day rushes by and we are just running as fast as we can to catch up.  By evening we drop from exhaustion and fall into bed.  The next day we start the cycle all over again.  The to do list never gets completely checked off, in fact more things keep getting added and jockeying for a higher position.  

So here is what I realize.  My 3 year old grandson as busy as he is, takes the time everyday to talk to God.  It's not on any to do list, its a natural, organic communication.  It happens in the midst of his very active life.  

I get this.  I read my devotional every morning.  I write the main "theme" word on my wrist so through the day I can be reminded, to keep my focus on his thoughts and truth.  On days when I forget to take this time and run out the door, I feel unanchored.  I simply miss my time with God.  I am searching.  I am trying to fill the holes of my unkempt life with God's goodness and truth.  I am looking for my path, God's plan for me.  So yes, I talk with God everyday.  But it was the second part of what my grandson said that made my heart take notice.

And here is the sting.  My grandson knew God would provide. His childlike faith exposed my own faith for what it was, tattered, shaky and the check engine light was on.  I so wanted to believe that God had this, this day, this problem, this journey in my life, but I didn't have what my grandson was so sure of.  That God would come through for me.  That God truly is who He says He is.  That I don't need to be bigger or better, or to carry all this worry and fret around with me, after I have presented it to his throne.  

I was watching the news, and when the weather forecast came on, I had to smile.  We have had dry hot days here in the 90's.  But guess what?  In two days we will be having rain.  On a trip to Toys R Us, my grandson was told to pick out any toy he wanted.  He wanted an umbrella.  I want to have this childlike faith that my grandson has.  To believe with all my heart that God has this.  That God is there, knows my heart, and will move heaven and earth for me.  At the very least that he will dance with me in the rain.

Lessons From A Bag Of Gummy Bears

Why do we settle for less than God's best for us?  Why do we overlook his blessings and second guess his promises?  Why do we live on the scraps, when he has promised a feast for us?  Sometimes I find myself saying, "Oh no God, I'm fine eating my stale saltines and drinking my tap water, I don't really want that juicy steak with a side of crab legs and a baked potato oozing with melted butter and sour cream."   I mean who likes that stuff anyway?  "You might as well just throw it all away because I'm so happy with my saltines."

And what about the dream, that desire, that we have carried around in our hearts for as long as we can remember?  But we never go to that audition, or go to college for that degree, we never say yes to that new relationship, or apply for that new job.  Oh we have plenty of "good" reasons........  Fear / The feeling that I'm not good enough / Complacency / Laziness / and Doubt.  But that dream, that desire, God planted in us when he created us.  And he did it on purpose!  In psalm 20:4 it says "He (God) will grant you your hearts desire and fulfill all your plans"  It's already been given, all we have to do is take action to claim it.  But most of us never do.

I stumbled across the passage in Deuteronomy.  God told his people all this land is yours. I give it to you.  All  you have to do is march across it and place your feet upon it.  That's it.  But they only walked across a 1/3 of what God had given them.   How many times do we settle for less than what God has promised us?  Out of timidness or fear or something else, we don't lay claim on what God has offered and we usually end up with less than 1/2 of his riches.

Last week I had my two grand-kids over to my house.  My parents came over to see them.  My grandson was so excited when "great" grandma exclaimed she had brought him a gift.  He jumped up and down excitedly with a silly little grin on his face chanting, "What is it?  What is it? "  His eyes got big when he saw it was a bag of gummy bears.  He handed the bag to me to open.  I placed 4 gummy bears in his pudgy little hand.  He just stood there, hand outstretched, never taking his eyes from the open bag.  His face began to scrunch up in utter confusion.  So I told him, "we are just going to have a few of them. "  He looked at me like I was a crazy lady.  And then he spoke in exaggerated syllables, "Grandma gave me ALL of them, not just 4!"  It made no  sense to his 3 year old mind that I would withhold something that was given to HIM!

It hit me like a ton of bricks later.  I have a hard time accepting ALL that God is offering me.  I take a little nibble and insist that I am full.  I insist that this small portion is enough.  But God has so much more set aside for me.  Why don't I claim it?

My perspective is forever changed now.  When God lays a feast before me, I will always picture my grandsons simple faith, and I will remind myself that God gave me the whole bag, not just 4 little pieces.

On The Shores Of Besor Brook

How many of us are tired?  Not the I didn't get enough sleep, I've been so busy kind of tired, but the deep in your bones soul tired.  Tired of keepin on.  Tired of the put one foot in front of the other, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, kind of tired.  My whole soul hurts, deep down muscle ache, defeated, depleted tired. We feel weak.  We want to pull the shades down on our lives and pretend no is home.  Of course we feel guilty for this feeling.  We want to sit down, close our eyes and rest.

It's at these times where I remember Besor Brook.  Besor Brook could almost go unnoticed, but there it is in I Samuel 30, and as a dog tired soul, I take notice.  David, shepherd boy, Goliath killing, king, is leading 600 men on a quest to save their wives and children from those that have taken them hostage.  As they come to Besor Brook ravine, 200 of the men say they are too tired to go on.  What?  These are their families they are going to rescue!!  But they are soul tired.  I can relate.  How many times have I wanted to soak my toes in a cool stream, let the sun beat on my face and not have to be the rescuer?  Too tired to save my family.  Too tired to march on, push on.  After the account in I Samuel, wives and children are rescued, and the men who went to fight are angry.  "Why should those that rested and stayed behind enjoy the spoils?"  But David tells them that they will enjoy the same reward.  He gives them value for staying behind to "watch" the supplies.  And finally he tells them that God was the victor, not them.  

If you are weary here is what you need to know.  It's okay to rest.  Jesus is your David.  He will fight your battles when you cannot.  And if you are among those that fight while others rest, guard your condemnation.  Chances are that some day you too will find yourself at Besor Brook, too tired to move on.

I have been to Besor Brook only two times in my life.  But what I can tell you is, on the shores of Besor Brook there is more grace than anywhere else.  Jesus said, " come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Matthew 11 28-30.  I believe Jesus is speaking an invitation directly to those of us who need to take off our packs, and dip our toes in Besor Brook.  Rest.  Glorious rest.  Lay down your sword and let Jesus be your David.  Besor Brook is the gospel of undeserved grace.  The name Besor actually means "good news".  And as a pastor friend of mine always liked to say,  "In order for news to be good, it has to invade bad spaces."

Oh SNAP!

Anyone who has children and has tried to capture a picture of them, knows how hard it is to get a good one.  They are doing something adorably cute, you grab your camera, and then before you click the shutter, they are off to the next thing.  (Usually something not adorably cute.)  My oldest daughter was a particularly hard case.  If she saw me with a camera in hand, she would immediately drop what she was doing and turn into a diva.  Arms would flail, twirling was involved, and she would flip her hair in a way that reminded me of horses swatting off flies.  She needed an instruction label, "instant ham, just add camera."  Every photo I tried to capture of her, came out in a blur of arms, legs and horse tails.

Don't even get me started on the Christmas card photo!  Corralling five small children and two dogs into one area is like herding cats into a bathtub.  One of them is touching someone.  "Be still," I say.  One burps.  "Be still!"  They all bust out in laughter over said burp. "Be Still." Someone steps on the dog's tail. "BE STILL!."  One starts crying over being reprimanded with my last stern, BE STILL"  So I say in my sweet high pitched sing- songy snow white voice, (totally through clenched teeth),  "It's okay, just smile for the picture."  Snap - Click!  A photo is born.  It's great!  It's just that someone has a grumpy face with tear stains running down their cheeks, and one of them is lunging toward the dog that's trying to flee, and one is pushing someone on top of the baby who has her blanket over her head.  And it doesn't get any better as they grow up...  And I mean into adults!  It takes me twenty minutes to herd them all to the same location in the backyard.  After plenty of horsing around and a long debate over who is taller, I'm still saying in my pretend authoritative voice, "BE STILL!"  This only makes them laugh more.  Snap - Click.  There are two sets of bunny ears, one person jumping on someones back, one person laughing so hard I can see his tonsils, and the dog has now gotten in the picture because he thinks there's playing involved.  My throat hurts from yelling, "BE STILL" over all the commotion.  Well at least no one is crying.  Well, except me....a little.

Whenever I see or hear the bible verse, "Be still and know that I am God", I always conjure  up this image of trying to take a picture of my children.  It makes me wonder, is this how God feels when he is trying to get MY attention?  I cry out my pleas to God, meanwhile I'm busy.  I'm running around spinning my plates, frantically looking for God's plan for me.  I'm waving my arms and crying loud sobs, "God can you hear me?  Are you listening to me?  Why haven't you answered me?"  And God is saying, "Be still. I'm trying to transform you in my image, but you wont sit still and so everything is a blur."  And so I finally get it.  This tired mom with five wild kids.  I think of the photo sessions, all the distractions and I get it.  FINALLY!

If I want to get a clear picture of God's desire for my life, than I need to "Be Still".  God speaks in a still small voice and if I want to capture it, I need to not be distracted doing everything else. "Be still and know that I am God". Psalm 46:10  We find God in the stillness, when our focus is fine tuned into him.  And when we do, we will find a beautiful picture develop.

A Mother's Purse

Have you ever been to one of those baby showers where they play the purse game?  You know, the one where they have a list of items and you retrieve them from your purse if you have it, and the one who has the most WINS?  I LOVE that game......  I ALWAYS win!!!

My purse weighs about 30 pounds.  My mom thinks that is why I have a bad shoulder, but silly her, I don't even carry it on that side.  Besides I like to think of it as load bearing exercise!

At this given moment I can find these things in my purse.

a paintbrush, band-aids, and string.  a sucker (with wrapper intact) that I keep for my grandson.  He always knows he can find a sucker in my purse.A heart shaped rock (I found this on my path and knew my grandson would delight in it.)big red gum.  It's so hard to find gum with real sugar in it these days.a pen.......okay 4a screwdriver.  I always need on of these for opening paint cans, scraping something, and the handle works as a hammer in a pinch.a few random screw bits, and a flashlight.a half eaten doughnut, and yes it's in a ziplock, and a half dozen m&m's roaming freely at the bottom of my purse collecting lint.I have ibuprofen and one vitamin (you never know when the mood will strike to get healthy.)I have an eyeglass case that I never put my glasses in.  If I did I would never be able to find them.  Instead they hold packets of eyeglass wipes because I throw my glasses in my purse and have to dig around to retrieve them.  a candy bar and a half eaten roll of sweetarts.  some lipstick, although I can't ever remember using it but my mom says lipstick is a necessity.my wallet and $6.37 in miscellaneous quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies.  No wonder my purse is so heavy!!!

The contents of my purse may change from time to time, but the bizarre collection of items remains a constant.  My children tease me about being able to survive for weeks if dropped in the desert.  Secretly they love this about me.

During intermission at the theater the kids will fight to sit next me.  It's not about me, it's about my purse!   "hey mom, can I have a sandwich from your purse?  I forgot to eat dinner."  Or an exaggerated trip to the DMV and it's, "I need to eat my feelings, hand me a chocolate bar!"  

But alas, I have yet to master Great Grandma's trick.  After 2 hours at the zoo in Phoenix, Arizona and 100 degree weather, she would ask, "Who wants a Popsicle?"  And out of her magical purse she would pull out completely pristine, glistening, frozen solid Popsicles.  Now that is something to aspire to!!

To all the other moms out there, prepared to head into battle with your 30 pound purse, I salute you!  

The Best Gift

Through the years I have been given many, many gifts from my children.  Most of these gifts were not bought at a department store, or wrapped in pretty boxes with ornate bows.  They were simply presented from the heart and with a smile.  My treasures of gifts would not make the Martha Stewart catalog, they consisted of macaroni necklaces, painted rocks, self portraits of their cheeky faces, and play-dough sculptures that I think, were animals.  I adored them, cherished them and was filled with joy.  These gifts made by ruddy, dirty little hands were all heart and soul creations, made with everything they had, for their mom.  My children have offered their loving gifts to other people who have touched their hearts.  On my parents bathroom wall, proudly displayed for over 10 years, is a picture drawn by my 5 year old daughter.  It is a picture of her grandfathers face with shaving cream all over it, and it says, "Grandpa's shaving joke." When my dad would shave, he would put shaving cream on his face and chase the kids around the house and try to kiss them.  My daughter loved their little ritual and expressed it through art.  Her little heart was saying, "I love this special game we play, it gives me joy, and it fills my heart."  When we receive such a gift from a child it resonates in our heart and connects us to what really matters.  Children have this amazing ability to give what matters.  

So why is it, that I have such a hard time accepting gifts that matter from others?  Gifts from grownups, from those that love and care about me, like receiving help, service, advice or a kind act.  Why do I jut my chin out, square my shoulders, and say, "thank you, but I got this".  When the truth is someone else is willing to give something that I cannot give to myself.   When my child presented me with a handful of flowering, wilting weeds and said "Mommy I hope you feel better," did I put my hand up and say, "Oh thanks, but I don't need those."  Of course NOT! That would hurt their tender heart and disconnect what really matters.  And yet I have done that to others, and I have seen the heartbreak in their eyes. 

So what is it, this piece in me, that rejects the motivations of other's hearts?  Is it pride?  I am afraid that others see something in me that I can't do or is lacking?  Is it that I feel unworthy?  Am I fearful that their generosity is misplaced on someone who doesn't deserve it?  Is it trust?  Am I afraid to let someone connect with my heart on that level only to be disappointed?  Am I afraid that they have hidden agendas or unrealistic expectations that I can not measure up to?  Or is it just such a rare commodity in my life that I'm not sure what to do with it?  The common theme I keep coming back to, is fear.  Shame, rejection, feeling less than, being alone, all feed the monster of fear.  When I feed the monster I am robbing others of giving what matters, and I am robbing myself of what I need most.

There are 59 places in the bible that refer to "one another".  Love one another, be devoted to one another, accept one another, instruct one another, serve one another, forgive one another, just to name a few.  We are not meant to go it alone.  We were meant to be "with one another."  God created Adam and said, "It is not good for man to be alone", and so he created Eve as Adam's helpmate.  God's instruction is clear to me.  He gave us one another because we need one another.  When we reject the gift of help, we reject God's original plan and desire for mankind.

So I am brought face to face with something new, something that makes no sense....until it does.  In order to receive the gifts that others offer from the heart, I must first..  Let Go.  Let go of my pride.  Let go of my fears.  Let go of my misguided sense of self reliance.  My fists I hold so tightly clenched together in frustration and stomp my feet in defiance....Let Go.  When  I freely open my hands and heart I am free to except what God has so lovingly provided... one another.  And that truly is the best gift.

Making Lemonade

If you were to drive by my house 12 years ago in the heat of summer, you would have seen budding entrepreneurs in motion.  My 6 year old son and his 4 year old sister, in bathing suits and bare feet, setting up their lemonade stand in the front yard.  

I cringed at the idea.  A busy mom with five kids, an endless supply of laundry, cooking, cleaning and chores, didn't want to design, manage and supervise a lemonade stand in 110 degree summer heat.  It was quite a production as there were signs to paint, lemons to be squeezed, pitchers to be filled, cups to gather and tables and chairs to be set up.  And so I announced a rule.  A proclamation of sorts.  They could do this said lemonade stand as long as THEY did all the work.  Which of course meant that I searched for poster-board and glitter and gathered up the paint, the brushes and glue, dug out the pitchers from the back of the high cabinet, located the ice bucket, pulled out the card table, 2 chairs, tablecloth with the lemons printed on it, cut the lemons, and plugged in the juicer.  They were great little supervisors, and they did all the rest..... I swear.  (Except get all the sticky sugary lemonade off the floor, counters and the trail out the door.)

The other kids scoffed at the idea, but my 6 year old son was not deterred.  he worked that lemonade stand like a professional.  he was charming and sweet and leveraged his little sisters cuteness.  Soon they were back in the house to make more lemonade.  This went on a few more times before they closed up shop for the day.  It lasted longer than I thought it would.  My front yard and front room were spotless as I kept a keen eye out for stranger danger, but the laundry was really pilling up.  My son sat down to count his money, he had made over 100 dollars!!  I poured myself a glass of lemonade and that's when I realized he had forgotten to put the sugar in!

As I lay in bed that night I couldn't get over the fact that he had made well over 100 dollars, and I knew with his big windfall, that his older brothers and sister would get on the bandwagon and a lemonade stand would be a permanent fixture in my front yard for awhile. To tell you the truth I was exhausted just thinking about it.  

But here is what I knew.....THEN

I wanted my children to express themselves in creative ways.I wanted to encourage their "BIG ideas, and help them achieve them.I wanted my children to be more important than my tasks and to do lists.That doing this with 5 children is A LOT OF WORK!I wanted my children to have a chance to experience all things.

Here's what I know...NOW

Instead of keeping an eye on them thru the window, I would pull up a chair and soak in the beauty of their little entrepreneurial spirit in motion.that my children are amazingly creative and think outside the box.that my children are not afraid of taking on any task and accomplishing their dreams.that my children believe they can do anything.That my children believe that their mom will drop everything to assist them.that my children know that I am their biggest fan.that I would give anything to have those sticky floors, counter-tops and trail out the door again.

The saying goes.....  When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  But I say...  "Life is busy, sticky and messy, make lemonade anyway."

 

The 5 Striking Resemblances Between Two Year Olds And Teenagers

There is a striking resemblance between a two year old and a teenager.  Just when you thought you had navigated and survived your two year old, your hit with a teenager!  God really does have a sense of humor.  I am pretty sure this is a test for those of us who failed the first go round.  I have listed out the most common denominators between the two stages of adolescence

  They don't want to go to bed.  Wrestling a two year old into bed can be an Olympic event.  First there is the "no", then there are the tears and the fall apart on the floor, I don't want to go!  Once you have them in said bed, there's the,  "read me a story",  "read me one more", followed by the "I need a drink", "don't close the door", "Leave the light on" routine. And then, your out.  Just when you think you have finally pulled it off, they are UP!  With teenagers its....  "It's getting late, you have school tomorrow, better get to bed."  They start to move from the couch but only make it to the fridge.  They stand there with the refrigerator door open just staring.  (this is because like said two year old, they are not hungry but stalling)  After an exasperated sign, they close the door.  They meander to their room.  Fifteen minutes later they are up.  They are in the bathroom.  Then they are standing at the fridge again with the door open.  You say "goodnight", and they head to their room and close the door.  You turn the lights off to go to bed yourself, when you hear their door and they announce, "I have some papers you need to sign for school".   It's all about me.   When our children are babies we take care of their needs immediately.  As our child grows the shelf life of immediate attention nears it's expiration date.  As you can imagine this is a great injustice to our budding two year old.  I want, I need, and I can't wait.  There is some kind of self preservation lens that our teenagers get, (i wish I knew who was handing these out so I could choke them)  Everything that happens, happens directly to them.  We can not possibly understand having never been teenagers ourselves.  There are fits of anger and tears.  A two year old is an emotional mess.  A teenager is an emotional mess.  There is no need to say more. You can't get them out of the tub or shower.  Put a two year old in the tub and it's splash down USA.  They could play in there for hours, even when the water gets cold.  Teenagers you can't get out of the shower.  The water runs so long all you can hear are dollar signs for your next water bill.  You are pretty sure the hot water heater has run out of hot water, but the shower is still going so........ Fighting for independence and saying no.   Both a two year old and a teenager share this same trait.......  They don't like the clothes you pick out for them and insist on wearing the outfit that THEY want.  Usually it will be most expressed when you are going to some big event or social gathering.  (secretly I think they do this on purpose to embarrass us, but I have no actual proof......yet)  And oh how they love to say, "No."  No to chores, to picking up their toys, to saying they are sorry for hitting, biting, scratching. Teenagers say no to cleaning their room, to curfew, and to pretty much anything you want them to do right now.  And don't even get me started on the outfits they wear!  

When our two year old grows up and becomes a teenager, we are back to picking our battles. We survived the "terrible" two's and it looks like that was just a warm up for the teenage years.