Helene Lerner's Blog, page 185

Are You Thinking Big Enough?

In today's economy, where everyone needs to think out of the box, playing it safe won't cut it. But there's a tendency to do that anyway. What's needed is innovation—new ways of thinking and acting.

How do we get ourselves to think in an innovative way—to think bigger? By acknowledging our talent and our intuitive sense of knowing what's right. Yes, you have the answers to solve tough challenges.  You have the ability to change the conversation and get a group of people excited about a potential solution.

Believe in yourself. Have confidence in your ability to turn things around.  Even if you are not feeling particularly confident at the moment, "act as if" you feel that way and take the next right action.

The real shame is when we hold ourselves back because of a false belief we have about ourselves or the situation we are in, or the people around us.

What false belief about yourself are you buying into? Become aware of it, and ask yourself, is that really true?

No, it isn't. So replace this thought with a positive one. It is the nature of the mind to keep churning out thoughts, some positive, some negative. What counts is what you pay attention to.  If you focus on a thought about yourself that is negative, it will stop you from taking action. Take on an affirmative thought.

You have the power to make a difference, at this very moment. Think Bigger about your abilities and don't be afraid of taking a Smart Risk.

 

Are you thinking big enough?

In today's economy where everyone needs to think out of the box, playing it safe won't cut it. But there's a tendency to do that anyway. What's needed is innovation--new ways of thinking and acting.

How do we get ourselves to think in an innovative way--to think bigger? By acknowledging our talent and our intuitive sense of knowing what's right. Yes, you have the answers to solve tough challenges.  You have the ability to change the conversation and get a group of people excited about a potential solution.

Believe in yourself.  Have confidence in your ability to turn things around.  Even if you are not feeling particularly confident at the moment, "act as if" you feel that way and take the next right action.

The real shame is when we hold ourselves back because of a false belief we have about ourselves or the situation we are in, or the people around us.

What false belief about yourself are you buying into? Become aware of it, and ask yourself, is that really true?

No, it isn't. So replace this thought with a positive one. It is the nature of the mind to keep churning out thoughts, some positive, some negative. What counts is what you pay attention to.  If you focus on a thought about yourself that is negative, it will stop you from taking action. Take on an affirmative thought.

You have the power to make a difference, at this very moment. Think Bigger about your abilities and don't be afraid of taking a Smart Risk.

 

Dare to Watch: Barbara Corcoran's Secrets to a Successful Life

We'll never exhaust the infinite wisdom of Shark Tank's Barbara Corcoran (for past insights, see here, here and here). In our latest video interview, Barbara shares personal stories about her mother, her daughter and her purpose in life. Watch and see!

We hope this food for thought starts your weekend off on the right foot. All our thanks to Barbara, as always. Have a good one!

—Video by Nina Giordano

Career Coach: What is Success, Anyway?

What is success? I know it's a broad question, but what was your automatic, unfiltered response when you saw it? You don’t have to share your answer with anyone, but you should figure it out for yourself. If you've never stopped to deeply consider how you, personally, define success, here are a few definitions to get your thoughts flowing:

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” —Earl Nightingale
“I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has had to overcome while trying to succeed.” —Booker T. Washington
“I must admit that I personally measure success in terms of the contributions an individual makes to her or his fellow human beings.” —Margaret Mead
"There is no scientific answer for success. You can't define it. You've simply got to live it and do it." —Anita Roddick

Maybe Ms. Roddick is right—maybe we can’t define success. But it's a question worth considering nonetheless. I’m not suggesting that you write your definition in stone, just that you give it a few minutes' thought. I bet your opinions on the matter will surprise you!

To all of our past and continued success. Have a great weekend!

—Alan Allard, Career Coach

Dare to Know: Deedee Corradini Fights for the Right to Compete

You might assume that in the year 2012, women and men would be afforded the same opportunities to compete in the Olympics...right? Not quite. Deedee Corradini has been campaigning tirelessly for gender equality at the Winter Olympic Games for over a decade—and she’s still only almost there.

Deedee served as the first female mayor of Salt Lake City from 1992 to 2000, and played an instrumental role in bringing the Olympics to the city in 2002. “We worked very hard to get women’s skeleton and women’s bobsleigh into the 2002 games,” she recalls. “Once we had won those battles, I thought we had gender equal Games. No one had ever brought up ski jumping.” It wasn’t until a chance meeting with ski jumper Lindsey Van in 2004 that Deedee learned of the sport’s omission. “I was incredulous,” she recalls.

Several weeks later, Deedee attended an event held by Women’s Ski Jumping USA (WSJ-USA), a parents’ group that had been recently formed to raise money for the young ski jumpers to compete around the world. “I met athletes, heard stories, and got madder and madder over the fact that they were struggling,” says Deborah. “The next thing I knew, I was President of the board.” The group’s initial goal? Get the women into the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver.

Although WSJ-USA had successfully lobbied for a World Championship from the International Ski Federation, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) declined the push for inclusion in 2010. “We didn’t have enough women. The sport wasn’t developed enough. We had to work harder,” Deedee explains. So they did. WSJ-USA sued the Vancouver Organizing Committee on the basis of gender discrimination. While the judge was sympathetic to their cause, a lack of jurisdiction over the IOC made it impossible to enforce a ruling. “We were devastated,” Deborah remembers. “Our next shot was 2014.”

Years passed before change again seemed plausible. Finally, after the 2011 World Championship, the IOC agreed to include women’s ski jumping into the 2014 Olympics—but only for one event. “Our job isn’t done yet,” Deedee insists. “All the IOC approved for us was the Normal Hill. The men have three events.” The movement for full equality remains a priority for Deedee and WSJ-USA. “We’re already working ahead, trying to figure out how to get the other two events into 2016,” she affirms.

When Deedee isn’t working tirelessly for WSJ-USA, she serves as the Senior Vice President of Prudential Utah Real Estate, as well as the President of the International Women’s Forum. She also sits on the board of a school in Lebanon (she spent her childhood abroad) and enjoys spending time with her two children and four grandchildren. Despite substantial leadership and family responsibilities, Deedee still finds time to hit the slopes herself—but you won’t find her on the jumps she spends her days defending. “The athletes have been trying to get me to try the baby jump for three years,” she maintains. “I don’t like to be up in the air. I like my feet on the ground.”

Career Coach: Liberty and Lessons for All

On November 6, many of us will cast our votes to decide who will spend the next four years in the White House. Politics aside, what can we learn from the two candidates running for the highest elected office in the United States? Quite a bit, actually—but here are three things that are particularly worth of your consideration.

Every job is temporary. The President of the United States is, presumably, the most powerful government official in the world. But all that power will only buy him eight years, tops—that is to say, even the President has a “temp” job! The presidential race reminds us that we ought to be be continually selling ourselves, improving our skills, and working with purpose and passion. No position is truly permanent.

Communication is everything. Elections are won or lost based on a candidate’s ability to connect with and influence others. Most voters are not fully informed on every important issue, but they know who they like and trust, and that's who they vote into office. The presidential race is a stark reminder that your success will rise or fall in sync with your communication skills, whether you exercise them within your company or with a potential employer at an interview.

You are not what you do. I don’t ever plan to “retire” in the traditional sense, but I don’t want to wake up one day and feel lost because I don’t have a title or a paycheck. We are more than what we do, and we can find our identities and establish our self-worth in far better places than at work—after all, even the President will lose his job one day! If you were to wake up without a job tomorrow, the true tragedy would be to confuse what you do with who you are.

My challenge to you? Always be thinking about what’s “next” for your career, keep improving your communication skills, and continue reminding yourself that work isn't everything. You may not be gunning for the highest office in the land, but working with these three pieces of advice in mind will serve you well in any career.

—Alan Allard, Career Coach

Career Coach: Will Success Buy You Happiness?

Last week, a coaching colleague of mine slipped this into a conversation we were having about life: “Success doesn’t buy you happiness.” True enough. I’ve had clients who had jobs they loved and who were paid quite well, clients who had power and influence and clients who were successful in other ways—and they were burned out, confused and definitely not happy. So my friend was right about success not buying happiness.

But what does that really mean? Many have been suggesting for a long time that we redefine success—to take measurable success out of the equation (money, job title, etc.) and instead replace it with personal joy and professional fulfillment—and I’m sure most of us would agree that that would be a good thing. But in the process, may I suggest that we don’t make excuses for giving up on becoming more than we are today. Here are some helpful tips to get you back on track toward happiness.

Think like your childhood self. As children, we start out in life with audacious thoughts and outlandish dreams. Then we grow up, and it dawns on us that it’s not so easy. We get bruised—or even beaten up—by life, and we begin to question ourselves and we start to wonder what we can do that might be more "reasonable." Like having a steady job, paying off the mortgage or taking a well-deserved vacation. Achieving reasonable goals will not provide the same satisfaction as achieving those higher standards you set for yourself way back when.

Do not adjust your expectations. I don’t know of anyone who has ever consciously made a decision to live an average life or has ever aspired to only go so far and say, “I guess I should just be happy with where I am, what I have and who I appear to be.” While success may not buy happiness, let me turn the coin over and ask, “Does failure buy us happiness?” “Does ‘adjusting our expectations’ buy us happiness?” “Does giving up on our dreams buy us happiness?” I’ve never met a person who felt like they were failing in some way who was happy. As long as you are working toward a goal, you are not failing at it.

Be honest with yourself. Though success may not buy us happiness, neither does lying to ourselves and saying that we are happy while living smaller lives than we know we are capable of. Let’s be honest with ourselves and ask who we really want to be and what we really want to do. Then, let’s commit to taking a step, however small and “insignificant” it may be, in that direction. This isn’t about beating up on ourselves; it’s about looking within and seeing how powerful, creative and capable we really are.
 
The bottom line is that however we define “success,” we will never be happy if we think small, give in to our fears or settle for less than what we truly want and deserve in life. We are more than that, and our happiness depends upon our recognizing that truth—and then doing something about it.

—Alan Allard, Career Coach

Dare to Watch: From the Farm to the City

Autumn is a beautiful season no matter where in the world you are, and New York City is certainly no exception. Enjoy a few scenes from the bustling Greenmarket in Union Square, which plays host to several savvy female farmers and businesswomen.

If you're located in or around NYC, the Greenmarket is open in various locations on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Take advantage of this season's bounty of delicious produce (see a few of our favorite recipes here). Happy fall!

—Video by Nina Giordano

Career Coach: Temporary or Permament?

Are you a temporary or a permanent employee? Most of us, if asked, would proudly say, “My position isn’t a temp job—I am a permanent, full-time employee.” Well, I hope you will forgive me, but it's actually a trick question. However, I ask it with the best of intentions!

The truth is, that kind of thinking can get you into trouble. In today's marketplace, companies and organizations don’t think in terms of permanence, and neither should you. I’m not advocating that you should stop being loyal to your employer, but rather that you should think like a free agent. Do your best work during your time with any given company...but keep your options open. Your first responsibility must be to yourself.

To clarify, a "free agent" is not subject to commitments that restrict his or her actions. By all means, make and keep commitments to your employer—just not ones that restrict your options in the long run. The only real security you have is your skill set, your work ethic, your interpersonal skills and your emotional intelligence...as well as your ability to navigate the marketplace with agility.

Top companies want top talent, and they know that shrinking opportunity is no way to keep these people on board. Instead, they court them with mutually rewarding contracts that allow both parties to continually monitor and negotiate the terms of employment. Companies and free agents alike should never take one another for granted. As with any relationship, the moment one party begins to lean too excessively on the other could be the moment the latter half wants out.

Is it time to update your strategy, your way of thinking and even your identity to this end? Food for thought this weekend. Have a good one!

—Alan Allard, Career Coach (and free agent!)

From Education to Evolution

Last night, I attended an event hosted by Christiane Amanpour at the Paley Center for Media in NYC. 10x10, a global action campaign for girls' education worldwide, has been working with the United Nations to declare today the first International Day of the Girl. 10x10 is a grassroots campaign that centers around a feature film, which tells the stories of courageous girls around the globe.

Christiane Amanpour and Intel's Roz Hudnell.

Among the speakers were Shabana Basij-Rasikh, Managing Director of SOLA (School of Leadership, Afghanistan). Her father was a strong influence who encouraged her to find a way to educate herself, and my eyes teared up several times as she recalled dressing up as a boy in order to do so. Roz Hudnell, a powerful and inspiring leader, also discussed why Intel chose to become a sponsor of this campaign. I can only hope that Roz's passionate words will encourage other companies to get on board.

Shabana Basij-Rasikh.

The call to action: Spread the word about this effort through social media. Let others know that by educating girls, we have the power to change the world.