Helene Lerner's Blog, page 181

Career Coach: How to Master Your Salary Negotiation

Unfortunately, it’s a fact that there continues to be a disparity between what women and men earn. Women only earn 77 percent of each dollar earned by men annually, and oftentimes it is because men are more comfortable with negotiating. Doing so is tough for both sexes, but women typically have a tougher time asking for a raise or negotiating a better job offer. Rationales for not asking for what you want can range from “If I do a good job my boss will reward me” to “It’s just not a good time for the company to ask for a raise.” 

Learning to negotiate requires confidence, empowerment and letting go of limiting assumptions. Practice, practice, practice! Do it in a mirror or try it out on a friend or family member. And be prepared for the conversation that may follow.  The biggest stumbling block to negotiating is often a fear of conflict. Hearing the word “no” is enough to make some people not want to even ask the question in the first place. If the answer is “no,” so what? If you don’t ask, you don’t receive. And, most likely, it won’t be a “no” if you ask some strategic questions along with your negotiating:

1.      What are the company’s bottom line concerns right now?

2.      What can I do to help grow the company?

3.      In what areas is the company doing well?

4.      When is a good time to discuss this again?

5.      Are there measurable results that would make it possible for us to agree on a raise?

6.     If I could (improve sales/raise funds/bring in a new client) in six months, how would that impact my salary potential?

The answers you get to your questions will help you connect to something specific and provable that can be showcased as a benefit to your boss. You will walk away with the tools to formulate a plan to ask again and turn that “no” into a “yes.”

—Pamela Weinberg

Make A Pie to Remember

What's better than apple pie? This Thanksgiving dinner staple is more American than a baseball game or walking a golden retriever through a park on a cool autumn afternoon. But like any great dish, the key to success is reinventing a classic into something new. Below I have included my favorite apple pie recipe to date. The addition of caramel makes the pie melt in your mouth, while the pecans still add a satisfying crunch. If you're good at planning ahead (not my thing), a homemade crust will take this pie to a whole new level. But if you're stressed for time (which I usually am), store-bought pie crust works just fine. 

Caramel Apple Pecan Pie

2 9in deep-dish pie crusts (homemade or store-bought)
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup butter, melted
1/3 cup all purpose flour
5 cups thinly sliced apples
2/3 cup white sugar
3 tbsp all purpose flour
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp lemon juice
2 tbsp milk
1/2 cup caramel sauce
1/2 cup chopped pecans

Directions

-Preheat oven to 375˚ F.
-Mix the brown sugar, melted butter and 1/3 cup flour in a small bowl. Set aside.
-Place apples in a large bowl. Add white sugar, 3 tbsp flour, cinnamon and lemon juice. Toss until apples are thoroughly covered.
-Spread the pecans on a cookie sheet and pop in the oven for 3-5 minutes to roast. Remove and let cool.
-Spoon half of the apple filling into the pastry-lined pie pan. Top with 1/4 cup caramel and sprinkle with a 1/4 cup chopped roasted pecans. Repeat process with remaining apples, caramel and pecans.
-Place top pastry over filling and seal well (this is important!). Cut or poke steam vents into the top crust (also important!) and lightly brush crust with milk or light cream. 
-Cover pie with foil and place on a baking sheet. Bake in preheated oven for 25 minutes. Remove foil from pie and bake for another 20 to 25 minutes, until crust is golden. Serve warm. 

My personal recommendation? Serve with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side and a small dollop of whipped cream on top. Trust me, your guests will be asking you for the recipe. 

–Lindsay Putnam

City Chef Provides Homemade Touch

For Melissa Chmelar, food has always brought a sense of comfort. “The kitchen was the central room in our house, everything happened there and my mother was always cooking something,” the New York City-based chef recalls. So it came as no surprise when she used her culinary talents to create a successful business.  

In 1999 Melissa opened her catering company, Spoon; since then, she has been providing families in New York with home-cooked meals. And Thanksgiving is no exception. For a price, those who would rather stuff themselves than stuff a turkey can opt for Spoon’s Thanksgiving catering menu, featuring satisfying dishes such as red wheatberry with roasted acorn squash and sautéed kale, pumpkin pie with maple marscapone cream, and of course, a maple and juniper brined turkey.

“It’s a real honor that a family would put their Thanksgiving meal in our hands and I take it very seriously, cooking with as much love as I do my own family meal,” Melissa explains.

Today, Melissa also owns a restaurant, TBSP. And when Hurricane Sandy hit downtown, Melissa and her employees created the “Soup for Sandy” project to provide warm food for people in some of the most devastated areas of the city, thanks to generous donations from patrons and local farmers. 

Though it hasn’t always been easy, the wife and mother of two says any woman who is motivated can launch her own business. Her advice: “You must be very clear about your boundaries, because there is not enough time in the day. I am very strict about my family time. I am home most nights for dinner with my kids, and we spend weekends together cooking and eating. Because, after all, that’s what it’s really about for me.”

—Lindsay Putnam

Your Fast Thanksgiving Feast

Between the demands of your career and your home life, you don’t have hours to spend preparing a feast. Your turkey’s oven time may be non-negotiable, but just about everything else can be given an efficiency makeover. Here are a few ideas from around the web to help you pull together a memorable holiday meal in no time flat.

Breakfast. Thanksgiving morning is for lounging with family, watching the Macy’s parade…and getting started on dinner, of course! Avoid both stress and cereal by whipping up this breakfast apple crisp the night before. Serve it cold from the fridge and top with a scoop of yogurt for a sweet but wholesome start to the day.

Appetizers. Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to do it all from scratch. Your family and/or guests will be thrilled to munch on cheese, charcuterie and crackers (or a baguette from the local grocery store). If you want to try your hand at something more festive, candied nuts are an easy addition—or how about a platter of savory sweet potato skins (save the insides for a sweet potato casserole).

Sides. Veggies slow-roasted at high temperatures develop a deep, caramelized flavor all on their own. Fill a baking dish with your seasonal selection of choice – squash, onions, brussels sprouts – and toss with a bit of olive oil, salt and pepper before roasting at 400º for 45-60 minutes. More ambitious chefs can try their hand at green bean bacon bundles, brown butter mashed potatoes or fresh cranberry orange sauce, none of which take over half an hour (the sauce can also be made in advance).

Dessert. Forget fussy crusts. Pumpkin pie is all about the innards, so put them on display in a simple pumpkin and sour cream pudding. Alternately, use day-old bread to make a pumpkin bread pudding that comes together in about as much time as a box of brownie mix. Pecan lovers can get their fix with a slab of sweet and salty pecan bark, which also makes a lovely parting gift for guests—only hard part is waiting for it to cool!

Don’t let the stress of cooking keep you from making beautiful holiday memories. Plan in advance, enlist help…and don’t you dare get roped into doing the dishes alone. Happy holidays!

—Emma Aubry Roberts

Celebrity Party Planner Shares Holiday Tips

Jennifer Gilbert, owner and founder of Save The Date party planning, discusses overcoming personal struggles to rediscover her entrepreneurial spirit, and even shares some holiday tips of her own.

–Video by Nina Giordano

Career Coach: What To Do When You Don't Want Your Boss's Job

I recently met with a young woman who has been at her job for three years. She is a registered dietician working at a hospital and it is her first job out of graduate school. She is very happy there, but, in looking ahead, she believes that there is not a lot of room for growth. She came to see me to seek advice on the next steps in her career.

It is always enjoyable to work with someone who is looking to grow and expand in her field. In this case, the client is satisfied with her job—but she realized that she did not want the role of her supervisor. Knowing this early on is helpful because there are steps she can take to prepare for taking her career in a different direction.

Expand Your Network. Joining and getting involved in a professional association is a great way meet people who have different jobs in the same field. In this case, it would be a good way for my client to meet other R.D.’s who may be in private practice or a corporate setting.

Take A Class. Workshops are terrific because they expand your knowledge and help you acquire new skills. Taking a class in an area that you are considering venturing into can give you a leg up when you are searching for a job. 

Talk To Others. Informational interviews are a simple way to learn more about different positions in an industry. Contact people within your field and ask for a few minutes of their time to learn more about what they do. This is a low pressure way to meet someone—you are not asking for job, or even a job interview, just a chance to have them tell you the pros and cons of their job.

Experiment. Want to try out a new position without leaving yours? The website www.vocationvacations.com allows you to do just that. This is an easy way to check out a new job in your field without committing to it. Try for a day or a week and see if it feels like a good fit before making a big move.

—Pamela Weinberg

Get Comfortable with the Uncomfortable

I have come to realize that growing involves discomfort because we are moving outside our comfort zone.

However, we are shown through media messages and pop culture to be wary of discomfort.  Just look at the many advertisements for products where successful people are living boldly and simply enjoying their lives--no stress or discomfort on the horizon.

It's no wonder why when we take a "smart risk" and become anxious, afraid or overwhelmed, we may think that we are doing something wrong, because we shouldn't be feeling this way. 

It takes real courage to step out, feel the discomfort of change, and not judge ourselves for it. Yes, it is stressful. In fact, stress due to positive circumstances is called Eustress. But it leads to our living a bigger life.

We are getting to the year's end. If you are not doing this already, I suggest you start reflecting on what Smart Risks you would like to take in 2013.

Here's to your continued growth and aliveness. Dare to live fully!

 

Sharing Thoughts on Gratitude

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.”
–Oprah Winfrey, talk show host

“Stop thinking [of] gratitude as a byproduct of your circumstances and start thinking of it as a world view.”
–Bryan Robles, youth minister

“Invite your heart to be grateful and your ‘thank yous’ will be heard even when you don’t use words.”
–Pavithra Mehta, writer/filmmaker

“‘Thank you’ is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding.”
–Alice Walker, author

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
–Melody Beattie, author/life coach

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”
–John F. Kennedy, 35th President of the U.S.

Career Coach: Put an End to Toxic Colleagues

Many of us take it for granted when our workplaces are pleasant places to be during the day. We have colleagues we respect and enjoy, and who respect and appreciate us in return. But there is an unlucky minority who may love what they do, but not with whom they work.

Working with “toxic” colleagues is a problem many of us face. These people make the office feel like an unhealthy and unhappy place to be, and can often sabotage an otherwise productive work environment. You know the type—always complaining, taking credit for the work of others, spreading gossip and not being a team-player.

There are a variety of ways of coping with negative coworkers, some less controversial than others. You need not out them to your boss just yet—try these tactics to start. 

Talk to your coworker. The simplest way to let them know that what they are doing is unproductive is to talk to them. A conversation where you point out specific examples of their behavior and its effect on the team may be enough to get them to modify their ways. 

Ignore the behavior. Sometimes obnoxious acts derive from someone needing attention. If you don’t acknowledge the colleague (like you would a whiny child), their behavior will change once they realize they are not getting what they want from you. 

Enlist help. If neither of the above is successful, your next step is enlisting your manager and/or human resources department. If possible, have as much in writing as possible. Bring e-mails, memos or anything else that can support your claims that the toxic environment is hurting productivity. For most companies, efficiency is the bottom line; your words will be appreciated if this colleague is undermining the ability to do business. 

Don’t dwell on negatives. Most importantly, be good to yourself outside of the workplace. Spend time with friends and family, and make your weekends a time to de-stress, relax and have fun. 

—Pamela Weinberg 

A Leader's Kind Heart is Good For Business

As I met Shari Arison, I felt I was reconnecting with a long-term friend. I was struck by her authentic, down-to-earth demeanor—her goodwill is felt when in her presence. 

Not only is she at the helm of many successful businesses, but she is actively involved in making a difference on the planet. Shari holds major stakes in Carnival Cruises and Israel’s Bank Hapoalim, and in 2006 she founded Miya, a global water efficiency company modernizing out-of-date water systems. 

She exudes pride when she speaks of Good Deeds Day, which is now in its seventh year and will be celebrated on March 10, 2013 around the globe. Last year, over 250,000 individuals participated in Israel alone. The concept is really so simple: individuals doing kind acts. Shari brings this mission into her businesses as well–her employees have integrated it into the way they operate.

With all of her responsibilities and the fast pace she maintains daily, I asked Shari what keeps her grounded. The confident leader talked about the importance of reflective time before she starts her day. But when things start-up, it's non-stop. And when it gets too hectic, she takes time to pause and regroup.  

Shari is also a mother of four adult children, a daughter and three sons. Her daughter lives in New York City, and when Hurricane Sandy struck the lower east side of Manhattan, Shari was in Israel and unable to reach her at first. She was concerned until her daughter called to let her know she was okay.

Mother, leader, concerned citizen of the planet–this wonderful woman uses her creativity to change things for the better. 

Go to www.goodnet.org to learn more about Shari’s vision and how you can participate. 

Visit our previous article on Shari, “How Are You Changing the World?”

Read about the Random Acts of Kindness our WomenWorking community has experienced.