Michelle Cox's Blog, page 22

Baseball and Extra-Marital Affairs – The Odd Life of Herman Neumacher

Herman Neumacher was born on February 2, 1903 in Chicago.  The names of his parents are unknown, but he is thought to be of Irish and German descent.  He was the youngest of ten children, and his family life seems to have been very chaotic, as his family moved constantly from apartment to apartment.  He spent the majority of his childhood on the streets playing baseball with his brothers.  He attended St. Hedwig’s until 8th grade and then quit to get a job in a radio factory making the cabinets that housed the radios.

When he was about twenty, Herman met a young woman, Pearl Ferguson, at a party that her sister was having.  Pearl was from an even bigger family than Herman and had fifteen siblings.  Her parents were very strict Catholics and were scandalized to the core when Pearl had married a man who wasn’t Catholic without their approval.  Fearing for her soul, they hounded Pearl until she finally bowed to their unrelenting pressure and divorced her first husband.  When she met Herman several years later, she was eager to be married again.  Herman eventually proposed, to the delight of Pearl’s parents, who were thrilled that her new man was Catholic.  Pearl, however, regretted her decision forever.

Herman, it seems, made a very unsatisfactory husband, and Pearl often referred to him over the years as “disturbed” or “unnatural.”  Almost from the first moment of their marriage, Herman showed no interest in her, never had any affection for her, and never seemed to even want to be with her.  But it wasn’t just her; he also did not seem to want to ever be with her family or friends and refused to ever go to any social events, including any sort of party or holiday.  Likewise, he refused to let Pearl have anyone over, so Pearl never once got to host a birthday party, a dinner party or a holiday in her own home.

According to Pearl’s niece, Dee, who helped provide the information for this story, Herman was indeed completely anti-social.  The only people her uncle ever socialized with, she says, were his brothers.  Herman, it seems, spent every free minute away from work attending baseball games with his brothers, drinking beer and eating hot dogs.

More than once, miserable and depressed, Pearl confronted Herman and questioned him about why he had ever married her in the first place, as it was obvious that he had never really loved her, even in the beginning.  She often accused him of marrying her as a way of staying out of the war —an accusation, she has noted, that he never refuted.

The situation grew worse, if possible, when Pearl accidentally discovered that Herman had secretly been having affairs all their married life, even taking some of his paramours to Las Vegas, all the while telling Pearl that he was going to Milwaukee with his brothers to see the Cubs play. Furious, Pearl left him and went to stay with her sister, Ann, who was Dee’s mother.  After about six months, Herman begged Pearl to come back to him, though Pearl couldn’t understand why, as he hadn’t seemed the slightest bit interested in her before. He even offered to give her money this time, which he had never done before.  From the moment of their marriage, he had refused to give her any money from his paycheck besides a few dollars a week, forcing Pearl to earn all the household money herself.

Pearl eventually caved in, not only to Herman, but again to her parents, who were upset that she seemed on the brink of divorcing another man.  Reluctantly, she returned to live with Herman, but it proved a terrible mistake, as he treated her worse than he had before.  Pearl says it was no use leaving him again and instead tried to make the best of it.

Pearl suspects that over the years Herman continued with his extra-marital affairs.  Likewise, she began to wonder if he was really at the ball games with his brothers, as he always claimed, or if he was instead there with his lovers.   In his later years, Herman apparently gave up drinking beer at the games, as he heard somewhere that drinking caused cancer.  Pearl also thought it odd that despite the nature of his job in a radio factory and his predilection for going to ball games, Herman was always well-dressed in a suit and tie and loved being “dapper,” as he liked to call it.  She says that he had no other real hobbies.  When he retired, he took a job as a security guard at the Merchandise Mart and worked there for five years, a job of which he was very proud.

In the last year or so, Pearl says she began noticing a change in Herman.  His health declined, and he became more confused and even dangerous.  He began carrying knives or sharp tools around, saying “I’m going to use this on Whino,” meaning Pearl, of course.  Pearl adds that this never made sense to her, as she was never a drinker.  Pearl grew increasingly afraid, especially as her own health has been declining rapidly as well.  Her niece, Dee, who has been helping both of them intermittently in recent years, decided to intervene when Herman began to get violent.

At that point, Dee took her aunt and uncle to view various nursing homes, though Herman did not seem to understand his surroundings at all.  Pearl, her own confusion increasing as well, at first assumed they were looking for a place for her to live and seemed happy about it.  Dee had to then explain numerous times that they were actually looking for a place for Herman, but suggested that perhaps Dee should move into a nursing home as well.  Pearl reacted very negatively to the suggestion, however, and claimed to be perfectly capable of living independently.  This, of course, is not true, as Dee has to help her at least weekly with shopping, cleaning, hygiene, and some cooking.  Dee does not wish to force her, however, and says she is willing to continue with the routine of stopping over at the house until Pearl gets more used to the idea of going into a home.

Herman, meanwhile, has adjusted relatively well to his new surroundings, though he doesn’t seem to completely grasp where he is.  It is regrettable that he is not able to tell his own version of his story, though Dee has confirmed that everything Pearl related is true.  Herman does not seem to get any comfort from Pearl’s visits and actually believes another woman on his floor to be his wife, a source of great sorrow to Pearl.  He remains calm and un-agitated and spends most of his days watching baseball on television.  Pearl seems reluctant to join him, but ironically is struggling at home on her own without him.

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From Leather Cutter to Sears Inspector – The Colorful Life of Eugenia Boyd

Eugenia Boyd was born on June 20, 1906 in Austria-Hungary to Anton Herzog and Marie Beran and was one of nine children.  When Eugenia was very little, the family immigrated to America and made their way to Chicago, where they stayed for about a year before moving to a farm in Michigan.  Thus, Eugenia spent most of her childhood in Michigan and completed the eighth grade there.

When she was about fourteen, one of Eugenia’s brothers told her about a job he knew of at a leather factory in the town nearest their farm.  Eugenia agreed to go with him in his old Ford to apply for it, but was soon disgusted by the stench emanating from the factory as they drove up.  Having come this far, however, she decided to go in anyway.  The story goes that when Eugenia timidly approached the receptionist and asked about the job, the receptionist just looked at her and said, “What job?”

Apparently, Eugenia then looked so forlorn and confused that the receptionist took pity on her and arranged for her to try her luck as a cutter.  This involved cutting the leather trim around a pattern with a very sharp knife.  It turned out to be a job Eugenia was good at and really enjoyed, despite the smell of the factory and the fact that she was often teased by the men that worked there because she was so young.

After three years of working there, however, Eugenia had to quit because the family decided to move back to Chicago.  They were only renting the farm in Michigan and had finally saved enough to buy a small house in Chicago.  Anton got a job in a piano factory.  It took him years and years to save up the money to buy one of the pianos he helped to build, but he was very proud of the fact that he was eventually able to do so.

Six years after the Herzog’s moved to Chicago, the Great Depression hit, and Eugenia was out of a job, though no one remembers where she originally worked when they first got to Chicago.  The family story is that she “paid for” a job in a factory that made razors, though no one is exactly sure what was meant by that.  At the razor factory, Eugenia inspected the razors for quality and also handled customer complaints.  From there she took a job at Western Electric and then went on to Sears, Roebuck, where she worked as a type of inspector, a job she held for many years.

Though Eugenia had her share of “beaux” over the years, she never seemed to fall in love.  One night, however, at a party at a girlfriend’s house, she met a man by the name of Sherman Boyd.  Sherman worked in a lumberyard and also made deliveries for various companies on the side.  The two hit it off right away and began dating.  After only a short amount of time, Sherman proposed, and Eugenia happily accepted.  Sherman already owned his own home, one which Eugenia thought very nice, so when they were married, she moved in rather than them getting a new place.

Sadly, the couple could not have any children, though they very much wanted them.  Instead, they continued working and enjoyed entertaining and having people over for dinner.  Eugenia loved to garden in her free time and was very active at their church, Immaculate Conception.

According to family members, Eugenia and Sherman had a lovely life together until Sherman passed away at age 83.  Shortly afterward, Eugenia went to live with her younger sister, Cecile, in Naperville.  Though Cecile was only three years younger than Eugenia, she began waiting on Eugenia constantly and prepared elaborate meals and “fancy baked goods” for her every day.

This behavior went on for eight years until Cecile’s daughter, Linda, decided to intervene.  According to Linda, Cecile was becoming “obsessed” with caring for Eugenia, which Linda felt was ridiculous, considering her mother was quite elderly as well.  Cecile became more and more worried that something was going to happen to Eugenia, that she would fall or get sick or have some sort of accident.  Cecile became so preoccupied with worry that she began waking up in the middle of the night to check on Eugenia.  It is interesting to note that in all of this time, Eugenia seems to have been completely unaware, or pretended to be unaware, of the stress she was causing her sister.

Not wanting to break the sisters up, but wanting to give Cecile a break, Linda and other family members came up with a plan for Eugenia to spend part of the day at a nearby senior center, which she willing went to and enjoyed.  It wasn’t enough, however, to stop Cecile’s obsession.  Finally, the family decided that something more drastic would have to be done.  Tentatively, they approached Eugenia with the idea of going to live in a nursing home and were shocked when she was very accepting of it.  In fact, Eugenia now claims that it was her idea all along, that she made the decision because of “poor Cecile’s health problems.”

Obviously, then, Eugenia has made an excellent transition to the nursing home, still enjoying having her meals cooked for her and joining in all of the activities offered.  She especially likes bingo, watching gameshows with other residents, “old movie” night, and listening to big band music.

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A Child Prodigy and the Life That Followed

Valentine Conrad was born on February 26, 1910 in Chicago to Wilma Sheppard and Frank Knauz.  Valentine’s early life was rather convoluted, as her mother was married three times.  Wilma’s first marriage apparently only lasted three months before she divorced her husband.  She then married another man by the name of Frank Knauz with whom she had two children: Valentine and, six years later, Edmund.  Eventually, however, Wilma and Frank divorced as well.  Wilma next married a man by the name of Oscar Strumsky.  Oscar legally adopted Valentine and Edmund, but they kept Wilma’s maiden name of Sheppard.

Valentine, it seems, was an extremely intelligent child—a prodigy, in fact.  At age four, Wilma made her practice the piano for eight hours a day, and by age twelve, Valentine played Carnegie Hall.  She went to Northwestern University in Evanston at an early age and graduated from the college’s music school.

In her early twenties, Valentine found herself working in a music store and there met a man by the name of Lyndsey Conrad through her friend, Helen, whom Lyndsey had dated once.  Lyndsey Conrad was originally from Duluth, Minnesota where he attended a junior college and, upon graduation, got a job with the railroad.  When he got laid off shortly thereafter, he decided to move to Chicago and start a lumberyard business.  When Helen introduced him to her friend, Valentine, the two hit it off and began dating.  They eventually married when she was 25, and he was thirty.

With the Depression and the then the War, during which the government rationed lumber, Lyndsey’s lumberyard eventually failed.  The young couple decided to move back to Minnesota, where Lyndsey was able to get another job with the railroad.  It was in Duluth that they had their son, Gerald.  The family lived in apartments until Lyndsey and Valentine finally saved enough to build their own home.  It is interesting to note that Lyndsey remained in this house until he died in 1983.

When Gerald was ten years old, Valentine decided she could no longer take the life she had created with Lyndsey, and returned to Chicago to live with her mother and her brother, Edmund.  She severed all communication with Lyndsey and even Gerald and started her life over.  Gerald says he knows little of her life in Chicago except that she loved the piano, theater and playing bridge.

Valentine apparently became very close to Edmund’s fiancé, Ida, whom he was engaged to for over 25 years.  Ida and Valentine became almost like sisters.  At some point, it seems that Edmund had a stroke and spent 12 years in a nursing home before he eventually died.  He left all of his assets to Ida, though he had created a trust fund for Valentine as well.  After Edmund’s death, Valentine, Ida, and another friend, Lorraine, became very close and spent all of their time together, including holidays.  Besides piano and bridge, Valentine loved pottery, painting, music, movies, museums, swimming, and gardening.  She did not like to travel and never once left Chicago except for the short time she lived in Duluth with Lyndsey.

In 1983, Valentine got word that Lyndsey had died in Duluth, and three years later, she gathered her courage and decided to seek out Gerald.  Despite the fact that they hadn’t communicated for over thirty years, Gerald welcomed her with open arms and forgave her for being so absent in his life.  Valentine discovered that she had a daughter-in-law, Carol, and four grandchildren as well.  After that, Gerald and his family came to visit Valentine in Chicago from time to time, Valentine delighting in being able to take her grandchildren sight-seeing and to various plays.

Valentine, as she grew older, maintained an independent life style and stuck to a daily routine, which consisted of leaving her apartment by nine am, taking a bus to the Levy Center to play the piano and bridge, and returning to her apartment with a bag of groceries to cook dinner with.  Gerald describes her as a very opinionated, determined woman who hated men and the medical industry both.  She could be extremely generous and kind, however, with those she knew well and trusted.

When she was eighty-three, Valentine suffered a stroke, which left her partially paralyzed and unable to speak, hence her admission to a nursing home.  Gerald and Carol visit infrequently, as they live in Minnesota, but they did not think Valentine would want to be moved from Chicago.  Valentine seems depressed and withdrawn and is not able to communicate at this time, which, Gerald says, is probably torture for her.  In the past, he says, his mother dealt with stress by pacing or by turning to music, neither of which she can do now.  At times she is agitated and even tried to strike Carol when they last visited.  She seems happiest, if that is even possible at this point, when music is played for her on a phonograph in her room or when she sits listening to classical music or jazz on the radio.

(Originally written: June 1996)

If you liked this true story about the past, check out Michelle’s historical fiction/mystery series, set in the 1930s in Chicago:

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A Penchant for Choosing the Wrong Man

Irene Bailey was born on October 7, 1906 in Letts, Iowa to Andrew and Gertrude Roth.  Andrew farmed about 150 acres of land, and Gertie cared for their seven children: Roland, Molly, Bert, Kathleen, Irene, Sophie, and Emmet.  Irene was raised Methodist and was able to attend high school.  After she graduated, her dream was to go to college, so Andrew and Gertie allowed her to go seventy miles away to Coe College in Cedar Rapids, where she took “general coursework.”  She lived in the dorms there, but spent most of her weekends at the home of an aunt and uncle who also lived in Cedar Rapids.

While at Coe, Irene met a fellow student, Archie Bailey, and eventually fell in love with him.  No one really knows what happened between them, but after two years of dating, Irene abruptly broke off her relationship with Archie, quit school and returned home.  Dismayed by her sudden change of plans, Irene’s parents tried to question her, of course, but Irene refused to talk about it, simply saying that she had “changed her mind.”  To this day, what happened remains a mystery, though Irene’s sister, Sophie, has several theories.

Irene was not home long before she decided to move to the nearby town of Muscatine with a girlfriend.  They rented an apartment, and Irene got a job at a department store.  While there, she met a traveling salesman, James Splinter, who, after a very short period of time, convinced her to marry him.

Once they were married, the young couple moved to Chicago where James had been raised.  It was an unhappy marriage, however, as James proved to be an alcoholic and physically abusive to Irene.  After only a couple of years, she divorced him and moved back to Iowa, this time to Davenport.

In Davenport, she got a job in a candy shop and met Orville Mentz, a carpenter who owned a few acres on the outskirts of town.  They married, and Irene says that they enjoyed a quiet life together for many years.  Their favorite thing to do together was fish, and Irene also spent a lot of time gardening and reading avidly.  As it happened, Orville turned out to be an alcoholic, too.  He was not physically abusive, though, so Irene stayed with him.

The years passed by, and one day Irene saw an ad in the local paper from none other than Archie Bailey, her old college sweetheart, asking for her whereabouts.  Irene was 68 at the time.  After many weeks of debate, Irene decided she would leave Orville and seek out Archie, perhaps hoping to rekindle the lost days of their youth.  She was sadly disappointed, however, as, after reuniting with him in Des Moines, he, too, proved to be an alcoholic.  Tragically, he was also the most abusive of the three men Irene had chosen to be with throughout her life, and she suffered several serious injuries.

Finally, Irene’s sister, Sophie, whom Irene still kept in contact with over the years, decided to get involved in what seemed to her to be a very dangerous, potentially fatal relationship.  She hired an off-duty policeman to go to Des Moines to get Irene out of the situation.  Irene then divorced Archie and went to live with Sophie in Chicago.

Irene spent the next twenty years with Sophie, still spending most of her time gardening and reading.  She also liked to listen to the radio, especially to Cubs games.  In the time that she lived with Sophie, Irene had several strokes, most of them occurring in recent years.  She has also had two eye transplants and two hip replacements.  While in the hospital recovering from one of her hip operations, however, she suffered another mini-stroke.  At that point it became clear that Sophie was not going to be able to take care of Irene at home, so she reluctantly made the arrangements for Irene to be transferred to a nursing home.

Irene is trying her best to adjust to her new life here in the home.  She is a very mild-mannered, sweet woman who is anxious not the “cause any problems.”  She reports being in a lot of pain, however, which seems to preoccupy her and prevents her from really joining in various activities or making any new relationships.  When asked about her life, Irene says that she tried her best, but that she somehow always picked the wrong man.  She thought Archie was something special, but he turned out to be “the worst of them all.”  “Sometimes,” she says, “life doesn’t turn out how you think it will.”

(Originally written: January 1995)

If you liked this true story about the past, check out Michelle’s historical fiction/mystery series, set in the 1930s in Chicago:

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William Jefferson Sanders – “A Hard-Working Man”

William Jefferson Sanders was born on January 16, 1921 in Tennessee to Lamar and Ivory Sanders.  William reports that he has many brothers and sisters and many half-siblings as well, but that he can’t remember exactly how many.  He attended two years of high school, and when he was twenty-one, he married his childhood sweetheart, Kalisha Jones, who was just sixteen at the time.  William is fond of saying that he and Kalisha were “country people” who had had grown up and attended school together.

Shortly after their marriage, however, World War II broke out, and William enlisted in the navy.  He served in the South Pacific and ended up in the jungles of New Guinea, New Caledonia and Manus Island.  In total, his tour of duty lasted two years, six months and eighteen days, and in all that time, he faithfully sent his check home to Kalisha each pay period.  When he returned home, however, he was shocked to find that Kalisha had taken all of the checks and opened her own account with them.  William promptly went to the bank to get the money out, but they refused to allow him access because his name was not on the account.

Kalisha chose this moment to tell him that she wasn’t going to go back to doing whatever he told her to do and that she wanted her own money.  “After that,” William says, “I was henpecked.”

Upon being discharged from the navy, William was offered job at the arsenal in Milan, Tennessee, but after a couple of years, there were changes in management and he had to move to a new facility.  He was given the choice of a job at either of the arsenals in Joliet or Alabama.  William chose Joliet because of the racial tensions in Alabama, so he and Kalisha moved first to nearby Kankakee and then later to Joliet itself.  William relates that he really enjoyed working at the arsenal in Joliet and eventually became a supervisor.

A dark cloud was brewing, however, in that William seems to have neglected to pay the IRS some tax money amounting to $64.00.  William claims he planned to finally pay the back taxes out of his next pay check, but it happened to coincide with Kalisha’s yearly Christmas trip back to Tennessee to see her mother.  Kalisha had planned on the extra money for the holidays, but when William told her that she was going to have to skip it this year, she cried so much that William finally gave in.  The IRS was not as compassionate, however, and got the arsenal involved, who, in turn, fired him on December 17th.

Depressed, William decided he needed to go to Key West for a change of life and scenery, but Kalisha thought this was a ridiculous idea.  William was determined, however, and went without her.  Kalisha instead stayed in Joliet with their daughter, Maggie.  William sent money to them for a while, but then got sick of it and decided that if Kalisha wanted money she would have to come to Florida to get it.  Of course she refused, and that was pretty much the end of their relationship.

William remained in Key West working construction for about nine months before returning to the Chicago area.  He found a job at a lumberyard in Berwyn as a shipping and receiving clerk.  His IRS troubles followed him, however.  By now, William owed the government over four hundred dollars.  Unlike the arsenal, the lumberyard did not fire him but instead garnished his wages until the back taxes were paid.

William says he was “a hard-working man” at the lumberyard and that his boss liked him so much that he never allowed him to take a vacation but paid him extra instead.  William, it seems, after many years of this, just couldn’t take it after a while and, needing a break, took off for Tennessee to visit his mother and remained there for over six months.  Eventually, though, he knew he had to return to his old life and wrote to his boss asking him for his job back.  Surprisingly, his boss agreed, and William went back to the lumberyard and worked for several more years before quitting and getting a job as a janitor at the Brach candy factory, where he happened to be working during the famous case of Helen Brach’s disappearance.

Eventually, William retired due to severe arthritis in his hands and back as well as kidney problems.  He was able to live on his own for a number of years before having to go to a nursing home.   He has had some contact over the years with his daughter, Maggie, though she is partially handicapped herself and unable to care for him.  Meanwhile, he remains estranged from Kalisha, whom he believes is still living in Joliet.

For the most part William seems to enjoy his life in the nursing home.  His memory is perfectly intact, and he loves talking about the past with the staff and the residents who are able to carry on a conversation.  He was an active member of the American Legion, the VFW and the Elks and loves gospel music, movies, and smoking a pipe.  His favorite drink is Budweiser.  He says he used to try to drink hard liquor when he was in the navy, but it didn’t agree with him.

William appears to be a very gentle, charming, easy-going man, but he says that in his youth he was very hot-tempered and that he was prone to fighting to deal with stress.  If someone crossed him, he says, he immediately wanted to fight him.  “It’s a terrible thing to have,” he admits.  “You do things you regret later, and it hurts you.”

(Originally written: September 1995)

If you liked this true story about the past, check out Michelle’s historical fiction/mystery series, set in the 1930s in Chicago:

https://amzn.to/2TEA9xS

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She Imagined Her Husband Had a Girlfriend Named “Bubbles.”

Fanny Jones was born on May 19, 1926 in Kentucky on a farm.  Her parents, Ike and Gertie Stores, had seven children, but not much is known about them except that they were of German and Irish descent and were strict Pentecostals.  Fanny apparently received a very sketchy education and, according to her granddaughter, Elizabeth, is “basically illiterate.”

Fanny married her childhood sweetheart, Frankie Jones, who used to tells stories about Fanny throwing rocks at him if he ever walked another girl home from school.  Frankie and Fanny moved to Chicago four years after their wedding and both got jobs at the Holloway Candy Company making Milk Duds.  Fanny had several miscarriages before she gave birth to a little boy, John, who died shortly thereafter.  Fanny kept trying, however, and eventually had four children: Maggie, Melvin, Elvin, and Kelvin.  Fanny has always referred to Melvin as “poor ole Melvin,” though no one knows why.  He died years later while on leave from the Vietnam War.

According to Elizabeth, Maggie’s daughter, Fanny and Frankie lived a very sheltered life, adhering to their Pentecostal faith and sticking to a strict routine.  They went to work and came home – Frankie tending the garden and Fanny sewing (her great love in life) and cooking, which she hated, but did because she had to.  As soon as Maggie was old enough, however, Fanny made her do it.

Elizabeth relates that her mother, Maggie, and Fanny never really got along.  In fact, she says, Fanny frequently told Maggie that if she could make her into a boy, she would, which, of course, hurt Maggie terribly.  Elizabeth says that from the stories she has heard, the family was very dysfunctional, constantly fighting, the prime instigator being Fanny herself.  Fanny, Elizabeth says, liked to make trouble and has always been very stubborn and interrogative.  “Her way has always been the right way, and there is no other.”

Frankie seems to have been “everything” to Fanny, and yet she was extremely jealous and suspicious of him, so much so that she created an imaginary girlfriend for him, “Bubbles,” whom she routinely accused him of having an affair with.  Periodically Fanny would even spend the money to follow him to work in a cab to spy on him.  She kept a deadbolt on her bedroom door for years and has always felt that “everyone is after my things.”

Elizabeth says that while she loves her grandmother and would do anything for her, she is a very hurtful, vindictive, paranoid person.  Elizabeth doubts if Fanny is conscious of it because she has hurt so many people over the years and doesn’t seem to understand how she has alienated them.  She loves attention and has always insisted on being deferred to.  She was “babied and spoiled” by Frankie who “groveled” before her to prevent her from becoming angry and yelling.  She has always “pretended to be sick” and also pretends, Elizabeth says, to be sleeping so that she can listen in on conversations around her.

Fanny has always complained that she has had “the worst life.”  After working at the Holloway Candy Company for twenty years, Fanny slipped on a puddle and was injured and claimed to not be able to work anymore.  Apparently, Frankie and Fanny had no hobbies and never saw a movie in their life.  They enjoyed taking rides in their car, looking at houses they passed, but never went on a vacation except for a few trips back to Kentucky.  After Melvin died, however, Fanny developed an aversion to their home town in Kentucky and only returned one or two more times after that.  In fact, Elizabeth says, there is a little cemetery back in their home town which is full of Joneses.  There lies Melvin with two empty plots beside him for Frankie and Fanny when they pass.  Fanny, however, refuses to be buried there and claims that if she is, she will come back and haunt the family forever.

Fanny and Frankie have lived in the same two-flat in Chicago on Sunnyside for over forty years.  In the last few years, however, they have begun to decline, so Maggie moved into the upstairs apartment to be closer to them and to help them.  Elizabeth has long complained about her mother living there, saying that she is a slave to her grandparents and that she does “everything for them.”  What makes it even worse, Elizabeth says, is that her mother is “emotionally dead” to Fanny because of all the abuse she’s taken from her over the years.  Elizabeth has been trying to get her mother to put Fanny and Frankie in a nursing home for years, but Maggie refuses to.  Elizabeth feels that her grandmother’s health in particular has really deteriorated, though it is hard to tell because Fanny “fakes it so much.”  Fanny’s abuse of Frankie has increased over time as well, including a resurrection of the Bubbles story, all of which has been hard for him to deal with on top of his own health problems.

Recently Fanny was hospitalized because of three minor amputations she had to have due to diabetic complications.  It was after these hospitalizations that the discharge staff was finally able to convince Maggie to put Fanny in a home where she could get the proper care.  Maggie admitted that she can no longer cope with the situation and agreed, though she is still having a lot of guilt.

As predicted, Fanny’s transition to the facility has not been smooth.  She seems lethargic and disoriented at times, yet at others times, she is agitated and constantly calls out for a nurse.  Maggie doesn’t visit often as it seems to make Fanny combative, so Elizabeth is trying her best to do so, though she finds it hard to have patience with her stubborn grandmother.

(Originally written: August 1996)

If you liked this true story about the past, check out Michelle’s historical fiction/mystery series, set in the 1930s in Chicago:

https://amzn.to/2TEA9xS

The post She Imagined Her Husband Had a Girlfriend Named “Bubbles.” appeared first on Michelle Cox.

Her List of Must-Haves for Life in America: Sheep Shears, Blankets and Silverware

Bessie Skalicky was born on March 11, 1901 in Polhora, Slovakia, a village at the foot of a mountain near the Polish border.  Her parents were Jozef and Aneta Jelen.  Jozef worked as a lumberman, and Aneta managed their farm and raised their six children, two of whom died, however, one being Bessie’s twin brother, Paul, who died at age two “because he was the runt.”

Bessie attended the local school until the equivalent of the eighth grade but skipped school often.  At the time, she says, Slovakia was ruled by Austria-Hungary, and the children had to speak Hungarian in school.  Bessie was one of the unfortunate children who found it hard to learn Hungarian and was frequently slapped or hit for lapsing into Slovakian.  To make matters worse, the Jelen children were likewise slapped at home if they spoke Hungarian, so Bessie tried to avoid school altogether so that she wouldn’t be confused.

She loved to sing, however, and had a beautiful voice, often accompanying her father whenever he got out his accordion or fiddle.  “Sing for us!” he would often say.  At some point, Jozef happened to meet a young WWI veteran, Ignac Skalicky, and was impressed with his own musical talent as well as his good looks.  Also, it didn’t hurt that he owned his own farm.  Accordingly, when Bessie was twenty-one, Jozef arranged for her to marry Ignac, who was himself more than willing, as he was impressed with Bessie’s ability to work hard.  Bessie agreed, and the two of them were married and moved to Ignac’s farm.  They had four children in Slovakia: Agnes, Danica, Cecelia, and Justina, though Danica died as an infant.

In 1931, Ignac and Bessie decided to leave Slovakia for America, hoping to improve their meager situation.  Before they left, however, Bessie’s father, Jozef, died suddenly at age 50 in his sleep.  It was a Sunday morning, and the whole family was dressed and ready to leave for Church when Jozef, suddenly not feeling well, said he would stay home and lie down for a bit.  When the family returned, they found him lying peacefully on top of his bed, still in his Sunday best, dead.

Bessie hated leaving her widowed mother, but the plans had already been made.  Besides, she took her father’s death as an omen that they should go.  They were only allowed to take one trunk between them all, so, besides clothes, Bessie packed what she thought they would need in their new life: blankets, silverware and sheep shears.

The little family made their way to Phillips, Wisconsin and bought a small farm there, where Bessie and Ignac had three more children: Margaret, Boris and Edward.  They made a success of their farm, though Ignac died of stomach cancer when he was only 57, as did Boris at age 43.  Bessie remained on the farm with their youngest child, Edward, until 1967 when she suddenly decided to move to town.  There, Bessie continued to sew and garden and loved to study history, writing many articles of the local paper.  And always she loved to sing.

In 1987, Bessie began to find it hard to live alone as her mental state began to deteriorate, so she moved to Chicago to live with her daughter, Agnes. Unfortunately, however, after several years, Agnes was no longer able to care for her, either, because of her own degenerative muscular disease and was forced to bring Bessie to a nursing home.

Bessie was quite upset at first, having always had a fear of nursing homes, but she seems to have eventually adjusted rather well to her new surroundings.  Although she proceeds fearfully, she seems happy to have found a few fellow residents with whom she can speak Slovakian and can be found sitting and talking with them for the better part of the day in the common areas.

(Originally written: June 1994)

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Kindred Souls

Irene Miller was born on November 4, 1913 in Chicago to Slawomir Kotwica and Maria Pestka, both of whom were Polish immigrants.  Slawomir made a living as a tailor, and Maria cared for their eight children: Louise, Josie, Ralph, Jack, Louis, Irene, Dick and Kenny.  Maria actually gave birth to an additional three babies, but they died shortly after birth.  Though it wasn’t the custom at the time, she insisted on naming them: Edna, Catherine and Leon.

Like her older siblings, Irene attended grade school at St. Mary of the Angels, where she did very well.  She excelled in art, however, and was thrilled when she won an art scholarship given by a sorority at Northwestern University to attend the Fine Arts Academy in Evanston instead of going to high school.  Though hesitant at first, Slawomir and Maria allowed Irene to accept the award, and Irene attended for one year.  Shortly after completing her freshman year, however, Irene became very ill and almost died.  Apparently her appendix burst, and she suffered horribly from peritonitis.  The school agreed to hold her scholarship for one year, but even after that amount of time, Irene was still not recovered enough to return, so she had to relinquish it, much to her sorrow.

After a couple of years, Irene was strong enough to be able to work again and got a job in a factory, which she hated.  She went to Wells High School at night to earn her diploma, which she eventually achieved, and then got a job as a bookkeeper.  Irene never returned to art school, but she didn’t forget her time there and was very proud of having attended, even for one year.  She kept all of her paintings and hung them up at home and liked to show them off to whoever happened to stop by.

Her dreams of becoming an artist dashed, Irene began to instead dream of romance.  Though she worked at a factory with many men, none of them seemed to interest her.  One night, however, when she went out dancing with some friends, she met a dashing young man by the name of Joe Miller, whom, she said “was a fantastic dancer.”  When Irene eventually brought him around to meet her family, they were, for some reason, not as impressed with him as Irene seemed to be.  Stubbornly, however, Irene insisted that Joe was “the one,” and when he suggested that they elope, she agreed, though they had only known each other for a few months.

After their hasty marriage, Joe and Irene got a small apartment on Hermitage, and Irene became pregnant almost immediately.  By the time she gave birth, however, Irene’s relationship with Joe had already soured.  They decided to divorce, though Irene does not elaborate on why, and Joe left town.  Devastated, Irene took her baby girl, Clara, and went back to live with her parents.

Irene’s mother, Maria, was apparently a very wise, insightful woman who was, Irene claimed many times, “ahead of her time.”  Though Maria was sympathetic and comforting to Irene, she urged her youngest daughter to get back on her feet, to work and save money so that she could get her own apartment and be independent, believing that this would be the best for Irene.  Tragically, however, two months after Irene and Clara moved in, Maria died.

Irene did not forget her mother’s words of advice, though, and after grieving for several months, finally decided to act on them.  She got a job and saved and saved and saved until she had enough to finally move out of her father’s house.  By this time, however, Clara was almost seven years old, and Irene worried about what she would do with Clara while she was working.

At that time, almost all school children went home for lunch, which was not a possibility for Clara since Irene needed to work all day.  Irene therefore searched around for a school that provided a hot lunch program, which was a rarity then, and finally found one at Holy Family Academy.  The tuition was higher, but Irene felt it was worth it.  She then began looking for an apartment within walking distance of the school and also took a different job at a company called Celmers, which was within walking distance of the school and their apartment, though it meant taking a cut in pay.

Irene then set out to prepare for any contingency.  She made arrangements with the nuns at Holy Family that if anything should ever happen to herself, Clara could stay there with them until someone from her family could come and claim Clara.  Irene walked Clara to school every day and left work each afternoon to walk her home, after which she would turn around and walk back to work until evening.  Likewise, since the apartment Irene found was a tiny one above a shop, Irene also had an agreement with the shop owners that if Clara ever needed help or was simply scared, she could go down to the shop and sit until Irene got home from work.

Clara says that, looking back, it was a difficult transition to make in many ways.  Clara was used to living with her grandfather and aunts and uncles in a bigger home where there were always people coming and going and visiting.  Now they were in a very small place with just the two of them.  Clara says that in the beginning, her mother was constantly worried and nervous and had many digestive issues because of her perpetual stress.  Likewise, she had an elaborate prayer ritual which she followed day and night.

Eventually, however, Irene began to find her feet and create the life for herself that perhaps Maria, her mother, had envisioned for her.  Irene began to enjoy having friends over to discuss current events, philosophy, religion and psychology.  Also, she never lost her passion for art, her creativity spilling out into any area it could.  She loved decorating the house, reading, doing artwork for her church, crocheting and sewing.  She made many of her own and Clara’s clothes and even sewed curtains and bedspreads.  She was always dressed very stylishly and took special care with makeup, Clara says, though she was never interested in men or dating again.  In everything that she did, Clara adds, her mother had “a real flair” for color and pattern.

Irene’s favorite pastime, however, was simply being at home and spending time with Clara, whom she was utterly devoted to.  The two of them were truly best friends, and Clara lived with Irene for years and years—long after she became an adult.  “There was never a reason to leave,” Clara says.  Apparently, the two were so devoted to each other that Clara even waited until her sixties before she herself got married!  “We’ve always known we are kindred souls,” Clara says.

When Irene finally retired in the 1980s, she became more and more dependent on Clara.  She began to suffer from a long list of ailments and had to have many surgeries, including corneal transplants to help her increasing blindness due to glaucoma.  She then began to have a series of falls and became very disoriented and confused.  Clara agonized for a long time about placing her mother in a home, but in the end, she saw no other choice.  Clara, despite being a newlywed, remains faithful to Irene and continues to visit her daily, a beautiful tribute to the life they once shared.

(Originally written: October 1996)

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She Overcame Her Stutter . . .

Annie Flemming was born on November 18, 1900 in a small town in Wisconsin.  Her parents, Myrtle Jones and Howard Gilman, were of English and Irish descent.  Howard worked in a flour mill, and Myrtle worked in a tailor’s shop and also cared for their four children: Minnie, Ralph, Annie and Hazel.  According to Annie, there was nothing exceptional about her birth except that she was breech.  As she began to walk and talk, however, it was discovered that she had a speech impediment – a stutter – which everyone said was because she had been a breech baby. “It has followed me all my life,” says Annie.

When Annie was just four yours old, Howard decided to move the family to Nebraska, where he felt there was more opportunity.  Annie grew up there and attended school through eighth grade.  She begged her parents to let her attend high school, as her older siblings had done.  Against their better judgment, they agreed, but, as expected, Annie found it difficult to keep up due to her speech problem.  The high school staff suggested that perhaps Annie would be better off attending a special boarding school back in Milwaukee, Wisconsin for handicapped, deaf and blind children, so, after much debate, Howard and Myrtle decided to send Annie there.

Annie worked hard at her new school and became a favorite of one of the teachers, who quickly realized that Annie did not belong there.  He contacted the Gilmans and got their permission to send Annie to live with a family he knew in Chicago, who would take care of Annie and send her to a normal public high school.  Annie’s speech got a little better during her four years of living with her adopted family, the Connelly’s, and she even managed to graduate with honors.

After graduation, the Connelly’s encouraged Annie to stay with them and to try to get a job in Chicago, but Annie missed home too much, so she returned to Nebraska and enrolled in a one-year business school.  Unfortunately, the move back home made her stutter grow worse again, and though she did well at business school academically, she decided to repeat the whole year over in an attempt to conquer her stutter.

Annie did not succeed in conquering her stutter, but she finally did graduate and then bravely attempted to find a job as a secretary.  She was cruelly disappointed, however, to find that no one would hire her.  She fell into a sort of depression, then, and eventually decided to go back to Chicago.  She stayed again for a time with the Connelly’s before she was able to get her own place.  She gave up her dream of becoming a secretary and just took any odd job or factory job she could find.

This went on for many years until Annie was in her thirties.  One night she went with friends to a party and was there introduced to a man by the name of Samuel Flemming, who worked as a machine shop operator.  Samuel was the same age as Annie and had also never been married.  The two of them quickly took a liking to each other and began dating and eventually married.  Annie says that Samuel was the love of her life and that she adored him.  Living with him helped her stutter immensely, Annie says, and it was because of him that she tried again to get a job as a secretary.  She finally succeeded and got a job in a law firm on State Street.  “It was the proudest day of my life,” she says.

Annie worked there for several years before getting up the courage to again apply for another secretarial position, this time at a building products company.  She ended up getting the job, and she loved it.  She worked there into her late sixties, and even after she retired, she would still come in as a temp if they needed her.

Annie and Samuel apparently had a wonderful life together.  They didn’t have any children, but they belonged to many civic and church groups and had many hobbies.  Before she met Samuel, Annie spent her free time reading and doing needlework, but after she married, she adopted several of Samuel’s hobbies.  Thus she began helping him to rebuild old cars, his passion, and also to watch professional wrestling with him.  Every year, they traveled to Florida where they would rent a little cottage and fish.

Annie and Samuel were a very happy couple until 1959 when Samuel died suddenly of a heart attack.  Annie was devastated, but she eventually got over his death and continued on her own.  All of her siblings had also already died, though she had many nieces and nephews back in Nebraska.  So except for one niece, a daughter of her younger sister, Hazel, who also lived in the Chicago area, Annie was quite alone, as she had outlived most of her friends as well.  As Annie grew older, Emily invited her aunt to come live with her, but each time, Annie refused, saying that she didn’t want to burden Emily and her family.

Annie lived independently until the early 1990’s when she made the decision to move to a nursing home.  “It’s time,” Annie apparently said to Emily, who, at Annie’s request, helped her to choose a place. Annie is making a relatively smooth transition to her new home, though she is still a bit withdrawn.  She enjoys bingo and has also taken an interest in the garden plots in the back of the home.  “I’ve had a good life,” she says, “but now I’m ready to go to Samuel.”  Incidentally, there is no sign of her stutter, perhaps proving once again that love always wins.

(Originally written: May 1992)

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They Brought Her Home and Put Her in a Warm Oven

Felicia Billings says she began life at a mere two pounds on March 17, 1915. She was born prematurely in Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Irenka Jasinski,  a Polish immigrant who worked as a seamstress, and Lutz Mueller, a German truck driver, one of six or eight children, Felicia isn’t sure.

Apparently, the moment Felicia was born, barely alive at two pounds, her family rushed her across the back alley to St. Joseph’s to be baptized. She survived the baptism, however, so the family brought her back home and put her in the warm oven, her mother only supposedly removing her to feed her and occasionally place her on the seat of the rocking chair to be rocked. Though stories like this abound from that era and have been debunked as myths over the years, Felicia insists that hers is true. At any rate, she miraculously lived.

When she was three years old, the family moved to Chicago. Felicia went to school until eighth grade and then went to work as a nanny and a maid for a Jewish family. According to Felicia, the family treated her “beautifully, like one of their own.” It was Felicia’s job to care for the woman’s new baby and to be her personal maid. She was allowed one day off per week, during which she chose to go roller skating, the family even driving her to the roller rink.

Though she loved her job, Felicia eventually left to go work as a sales clerk at Goldblatts, where she met a young Jewish man, Stanley, and fell in love. They dated for several years and wanted to get married, but Stanley’s mother refused to allow it. They broke up, then, and Stanley married a young, wealthy Jewish girl. Felicia was happy for him and wished him well, despite her own heartache. She was unexpectedly vindicated one day, however, when Stanley’s mother came in to Goldblatts and admitted to Felicia that she had been wrong about her, but it was obviously too late. Felicia continued to get bits of news about Stanley over the years by writing letters to his sisters and says that she was never bitter about how it all turned out.

Eventually Felicia met another clerk at Goldblatts, Leonard Billings, a young man of English and Italian descent, whom she fell in love with and married at the Justice of the Peace. Fifty years later they had a big anniversary party and got re-married in the Catholic Church.

According to Sophie, she and Leonard had a wonderful life together. Leonard became a manager at Goldblatts and worked there for over fifty years. Felicia continued working there as well, even after their only child, Karen, was born. Felicia and Leonard went everywhere together, their only time apart being during WWII when Leonard enlisted and became a tank driver. Felicia reports that he was “a good soldier” and “came through it fine,” though he was injured in the heel and sent home.

Once back, he and Felicia picked right up where they left off, and enjoyed going out to restaurants, bars and parties. Sometimes Leonard and Felicia would split up for the early part of the evening, each going to a friend’s house or a bar, before meeting up later to go somewhere together. They were actively involved in the American Legion for over thirty years and went to conferences all around the country. They had many, many friends.

Felicia continued to work at Goldblatts for most of her career and went out with her two work friends every Tuesday night for seven straight years before she retired at age 62.   From there, she took a job at the American Medical Association in their accounting department and is proud of the fact that she learned to use a computer while there.

Sadly, Leonard died in his seventies of cancer after a long painful fourteen months, which Felicia nursed him through. At 81, Felicia misses him still. She remained active after his death and is very proud of the fact that she learned how to use a computer. She had been living independently in an apartment above her daughter, Karen, but began falling and was eventually admitted to a nursing home. “Karen thinks I hate her for putting me here,” Felicia says. “I don’t hate her, but it is very hard to get used to.”

Though Felicia is finding the adjustment hard, she remains happy-go-lucky and says that “I enjoyed life tremendously!”

(Originally written: September 1996)

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