Trista Laborn's Blog, page 17

Deployment Stories: The Peaks and Valleys

When I married my husband, I didn’t know what I was getting into. Long work hours, frequent deployments and the Communication is not only long-distance, it is often less intimate and unreliable, especially with today’s technology, communication is not constant. All this, can add stress to our marriages and the family, but most damaging is the emotional distance that results from living separate lives at times.

Creating a community of spouses, that are welling to share their stories, from all over the world, who have experienced deployments or being away from their spouses for long periods of time, can read these stories and gain encouragement at the same time and feel inspired to tackle this ugly monster called, Deployment, together.

Here’s her story…

My husband was on a WESTPAC deployment as Corpsman for our first deployment as a couple. This was my first deployment as a military wife and I was unsure of what to do, didn’t know where he was going, and our child was just 1-year-old. I was scared, unsure of what was going to happen, and even though I grew up in the Camp Pendleton area where he was stationed, my best friend was gone and I felt alone.

As soon as the ship left San Diego, well before they got to Hawaii, I got sick, nauseous, and tired. Went to the doctor and, you guessed it! Pregnant! He called me from the payphones at the Pearl Harbor and I was able to tell to tell him the great news. He was ecstatic and I was glad to finally be able my family now that my husband knew.

Unfortunately, 5 months into the deployment, his dad had a stroke. He was in Miami, Florida and was unable to speak for the first few days. His dad’s friends barely spoke English so communication was an issue between me and the hospital, and for privacy reasons, I had a hard time getting any information from the nurses and doctors. To make things even worse, the ship was in River City, which is a term they use for when they limit communications in and out to maximize secrecy. By the time my husband got the message, nearly a week had passed. He had a very understanding chain of command and as soon as the ship pulled in to port a few days later he was on a commercial flight to Miami. The Navy and Marine Corps Relief Society loaned us money for him to fly one-way from Bahrain to Miami, plus a round trip ticket for my son and I to join him there.

It was the oddest deployment; all deployments start of with deep sadness, but then we found out about our daughter. When the ship was on its way back and we were celebrating the turn around point, tragedy struck. But then the Relief Society helped us out with an unexpected loan, at least giving us financial peace. This is how military life is – peaks and valleys. I’ve been a military wife for almost twelve years now and wouldn’t change it for the world!

Christy

San Diego Military Wife

www.SDMilitarywife.com

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P063: A military spouse living a warrior life

I had a great time talking with Malori from Living a warrior life I LOVE what her blog is about and the meaning behind the name. She define’s a warrior on her blog by adding from Dictionary.com’s definition of warrior, which is a person engaged or experienced in warfare, a solider, which is what most military spouses do. My husband is in the Marine Corps and has been on MANY deployments, I lost count. I love what Malori adds to the second definition of warrior, she states from dictionary.com, a person who shows or has shown great vigor, courage or aggressive. I Believe as military spouses we show great vigor, courage and aggressiveness, when we are placed in crazy situations and have to pick up, what little pieces are left and make a home, or create a career when there are no other options, when you are living overseas and can’t speak the language to go places, have to tons of research to find the right doctor for your kids, trying to make the home front a home is no easy task.

As spouses we may not have gone to Iraq or places like that but keep a good attitude in spite of different circumstances, can qualifies us to be called warriors as well! Malori shares her experience on how she dealt with her husband’s PTSD.

As she tells the story, looking back to when she discovered how different her husband was acting, after coming back from deployment, she began to blame herself during this process.

During this time she and her husband were engaged.

She explained they got married and then he deployed again!

TBI– Tramatic Brain Injury

While her husband got deployed again with PTSD, she began to seek out help from an organization called: Hope for the home front

– She goes into the struggles of dealing with PTSD in a marriage with no support

– She found help with a community of military spouses

– This helped her know that, it’s not your fault

– Also talking with other spouses dealing with their husband about PTSD

She explains what has helped her and her husband deal with the stresses of PTSD. Essential oils have helped them both and are now thriving in their marriage. Disclaimer, she also mentions that essential oils is not a cure-all, this is something that has helped them and she wants to pass this on to others who are looking for help.

She shares her blog: Living a warrior life

Military life, nutrition (Healthy eating and fitness) and Essential oils.

To someone who is lost and needing hope, when dealing with PTSD in the marriage

– It’s ok, to not be ok

– You can’t change everyone, except yourself

– Take care of yourself

She shared on a her blog, how open she was on the subject of PTSD, here are some of the posts she wrote about:

Part 1- PTSD-An Introduction

Part 2- PTSD- Steps to a better Future

Part 3- PTSD- Erasing the Stigma

Get in touch with Malori

Website

Email: malori.mayor@gmail.com

Here’s where you can find out more about Malori and the essential oils

If you or anyone you know dealing with PTSD and need help, PLEASE reach out and get help, here are some resources to help you along the way to getting better.

– Veterans and families

– Malori mention, for spouses looking for support: Hope for the Homefront

– Help Guide: Coping tips, Symptoms and treatment

– CombatTrauma: (Here is a FREE copy of resources he recommends) From Dr. Chapman- 5 Love Languages military Edition

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Deployment Stories: The unnoticed hero

When I married my husband, I didn’t know what I was getting into. Long work hours, frequent deployments and the Communication is not only long-distance, it is often less intimate and unreliable, especially with today’s technology, communication is not constant. All this, can add stress to our marriages and the family, but most damaging is the emotional distance that results from living separate lives at times.

Creating a community of spouses, that are welling to share their stories, from all over the world, who have experienced deployments or being away from their spouses for long periods of time, can read these stories and gain encouragement at the same time and feel inspired to tackle this ugly monster called, Deployment, together.

Here’s their story…

It was my husband’s very first underway. Newly married and newly expectant with a baby, we had just arrived in the area. The Navy kind of knocked the wind right out of us, starting my husband working harder than I’d ever seen him work. Dealing with a new area as a young wife and expectant mother, I was, admittedly, a little frazzled.

I don’t like it when my husband has to stay away. What wife does? I had just started to get used to sleeping with him beside me and now it was hard to get comfortable without him. That’s where I was on a hot and muggy Monday night: home alone, restless, just trying to get to sleep in an unfamiliar place.

But that’s when it happened. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a large dark spot in the wall corner behind my nightstand. Curious, I peered at it through the darkness. It wasn’t until this blotch (I swear, it was the size of a silver dollar) moved that I realised I HAD A MASSIVE SPIDER TAKING UP OCCUPANCY IN MY BEDROOM! Now, I can deal with spider when they’re normal sizes. You know, the common house spider that makes lesser women (and men… you know who you are) squeal in terror. That’s not an issue for me. But I don’t really feel that way WHEN SHELOB IS ACTUALLY TWO FEET AWAY FROM MY FACE!

So like any completely normal person, I fled the bedroom and closed the door behind me, determined to sleep in the living room. The rational part of my mind knew that doors didn’t keep spiders at bay, but I’ll be honest and admit that I wasn’t really “thinking” at this point. Fight or flight instinct.

I texted my husband, asking him what I should do before remembering that he was out to sea and didn’t have cellphone service. I posted a plea to Facebook, asking my friends what I should do if there was a large, potentially dangerous spider invading my house. Unfortunately, my friends were a bunch of comedians. No, guys, burning down the apartment is never a good idea. I called my brother, hoping for some sage advice from the Boy Scout… who just told me to go in there and kill it. Yeah… like THAT’S going to happen!

At this point, I noticed a different spider on the floor in the living room, almost as large as the one that was in the bedroom. Surrounded by my enemy, I lost it and just started crying. I would love to blame the pregnancy hormones, but the truth is, I’m just really afraid of spiders. I called a non emergency police number.

“Hi, this is going to be an odd question. But do you know who I could call if I have a potentially dangerous spider in my house and I’m too panicked to kill it?”

The pissed off lady on the other end huffed and replied, “You’d have to call and extermination and they’re, like, all closed. And if this is a medical emergency, you have to call the hospital.”

AND THEN SHE HUNG UP ON ME!

Never had I felt so alone. As I stood on the coffee table (how else do you keep away from scary spiders?), I put out one more desperate phone call to the maintenance office at my apartment complex. God bless that poor, confused, young man who had to deal with the sobbing mess that was me on the phone as I begged him to come rescue me.

My hero, the maintenance man, arrived just in the nick of time. He squished the living room spider and I began to show him towards the bedroom where the other spider lurked.

“Oh hey, is that him?” he asked as we passed through the kitchen.

I looked and saw YET A THIRD SPIDER on the wall in my kitchen.

“No… that’s not. I didn’t even see that one.”

“Oh cool. Practice!”

The kitchen spider dealt with, we approached the bedroom. The maintenance hero frowned into the dark. “There’s a lot of stuff in this room, so I don’t know if I’ll be able to find it.”

I hovered in the doorway and pointed at the corner where I had last seen the beast. “He was in the corner there.”

“Well, they do tend to move pretty…. Whoa! Nope, here he is. Can you get me some paper towel? Actually hold on…”

He took off his boot, muttering that the spider was too big for paper towel, and squished it against the nightstand before cleaning it off.

“That sure was an ugly one. Don’t quote me on that, but that may have been a black widow. I’ve seen a couple of them around here before, but that was a little big. Still looked like it though.”

Sometimes our heroes don’t wear the military uniform. Sometimes they’re confused young adults who get panicked calls from freaked out pregnant ladies.

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Quick workouts for busy mompreneurs #befitallyear

I’m a pretty active person. I like to workout, go on hikes with my children and other different active activities. During the holidays I took a 3 month break and decided to rest and knew that I would be fresh, ready and on fire to continue my workout during the beginning of the year. This was not the case. First, I began to become so busy with helping my family get back into the swing of things with my kids starting school getting ready for middle school, my husband, being in the military, got promoted and was preparing to leave for a few months of training and getting my toddler adjusted to a lot of changes that were happening in my home. At this point, it didn’t leave me motivated to workout.

 

 

At times I’m running back and forth running errands, Jit-Jitsu practice, homework, taking care of my children’s needs and husband, I don’t always have the energy to pour into myself. I’m always on the look out for anything that would make my life easier as a mom of three children and married to a very busy and dedicated marine in the military. I’m so excited to have been introduced to BeFit! I had the opportunity to try out their products which included their vanilla whey casein protein, the pre workout, a fat burner and their intense 30 day burn!

 

 

This program was just what I needed to get out of my rut and start my workout routine, start my day with a clear mind to get my day started. The introduction video really helped me to prepare for what I was about to enter, when starting your 30day program. I Love how its only 10 minutes and intense at the same time. I’ve found starting out, I got tired so quick that 10 minutes felt like 1 hour. My favorite workouts was the “Toned abs and arms, and the Dynamic strength” To help me with the work outs let me explain to you how each of the supplements work.

 

Towards the end of the 30 day workouts, they get more intense towards the end which is why these BeFit Supplements come in handy.

Vanilla whey casein protein

I LOVE the taste of vanilla. This protein was PERFECT! Most proteins don’t work well with my stomach but this proved to be AWESOME! I also love that it’s not too sweet. It helps me recover after a great workout and fills me up! I’ve tried it in shakes and even on my food. During the Superbowl I wanted something healthy to keep me on track, so I made Fruit nachos with a vanilla protein sauce!

 

Pre-Workout Energy Endurance Booster

This is my favorite. I wake up every morning looking forward to this because, while I’m wrestling with my 2-year-old to sleep in her own bed, by the time its time for me to get up, I am beyond tired and looking forward to go back but I have to get my days going. So drinking this Pre-workout definitely gives you the boost without the jitters. It gets me through my work outs, finishing strong!

Fat Burner Supplements

These are AWESOME! They don’t give you the jitters. These are natural fat burners that does the job. If you are looking for a natural supplements to help with your workout, give these a try!

If you are interested in giving these a try, I’m hosting a GIVEAWAY!

Giveaway restrictions:

U.S. only
One prize per person. If your winner has already won through another blog giveaway, we will ask you to select another winner.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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A milk that might change everything- A2 milk company #A2milk #ad

“This post was sponsored by a2 Milk® as part of an Influencer Activation for Influence Central. I received complimentary products to facilitate my review.”

As a young kid, drinking cow’s milk and eating cookies, chocolate chip, to be specific is my favorite, with my brothers was a favorite memory of mine as a child. As I got older whenever I would drink cow’s milk it would leave me gassy and bloated. From that point on, I didn’t want my family to experience that same pain.

I’m always looking for different health options that my family won’t repeat the same experience I had growing up. I partnered with the a2 milk® company through an Ambassadorship to spread the word about a milk company that want us to enjoy drinking milk again – without the upset stomachs that sometimes follow. I’m looking forward to sharing more facts, informative information, recipes and so much more with a2 milk®.

 

A Milk that might change everything

In some places, milk can serve as a staple in households. Packed with protein, vitamins and nutrients that promote a healthy body and strong bones and the great taste everyone loves, milk benefits to all members of our family – big or small. However, despite the nutritional value of milk, at times it cause digestive discomfort. I want to be able to share milk with my daughter who is a toddler and not have her experience gas problems, in her little tummy. Instead of giving her Juice, I like to give her milk during her meals to help in her growth and development in life. This is where the a2 milk company comes in.

By producing milk free of the A1 protein, the known source of many ‘uncomfortable’ situations. Originally, all milk contained only the A2 protein. Over time a genetic mutation occurred in cows and a new type of protein developed called A1. This A1 protein, that is found in most milks today, can cause digestive discomfort, even in organic milk.

a2 Milk® is pure farm fresh milk. Those who have ‘self diagnosed’ with lactose intolerance issues or Post-Dairy Digestive Discomfort may enjoy our milk without any symptoms.

a2 Milk® contains approximately 6x the amount of calcium as soy beverages, approximately 8x the protein of almond beverages and approximately 6x the potassium levels of rice beverages.

a2 Milk® has partnered with U.S. family dairy farmers in upstate New York and the mid-west to expand the heirloom A2 herd. Their farmers are certified in the humane treatment of animals, their cows are fed a vegetarian diet and never given hormones or rBST, and the milk is antibiotic free and contains no artificial ingredients or additives.naturally produced by family farms in the US and is hormone-free, and packed with calcium, potassium, and protein. So, because it contains no A1 protein, Original A2 Milk® goes easy on the stomachs, letting us enjoy milk. By keeping things environmentally friendly and nutritious without compromising the classic fresh flavor we love, the a2 Milk Company wants to make milk worth the mustache.

I, personally tried the a2 milk® and just like the website says, it does go easy on the stomach, I can enjoy it with a bowl of cereal, without my cereal going soggy and I can truly enjoy it.  It’s not thick at all and my children LOVE the milk. I give it to my daughter and she has no problems at all. I LOVE to have my kids experience drinking milk and eating cookies with no problems but happy and creating memories with their siblings they can hold to as I did growing up.

For more information you can check out a2 Milk® here…

a2 Milk® Homepage: https://a2milk.com/

a2 Milk® Store Locator: https://a2milk.com/find/ 

a2 Milk® Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/a2milkUSA/

a2 Milk® Twitter: https://twitter.com/a2MilkUSA

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P062: God’s design for sex and marriage

The final series in God’s design for sex and marriage. This last episode of my conversation with Meygan from Marriage365 where we talk about sex in marriage. God’s design for sex and marriage is to serve one another! Through out this whole series, even though some of the details maybe a little explicit is something that we can talk about as adults and really have a happy marriage and good sex.

Disclaimer…

–Tips shared on the podcast are NOT for those that have been sexually abused or hurt in the past, Meygan and I encourage you to seek professional help to get healed from the past hurts. Not getting the help needed to heal from your past can hinder the intimacy in the marriage between you and the spouse.

-Topics shared on this episode is not suitable for children, This is for adults only!

I’m passionate about really experiencing what it means to be successful in EVERY area of the life God has given us, John 10:10. I’m passionate about business, being an entrepreneur is so rewarding at times, but, I’m even more passionate about my faith in Jesus Christ, my marriage and my family. Going through a really tough experience in my marriage, with God’s help, helped me to realize that, God doesn’t just want me successful in JUST my business but my life. Which includes taking care of myself, my marriage, my family and my business.

Which is why, this podcast is really important to me because, I get to share what that looks like from a military spouse, with all that I do, (Marriage, family, business, etc). To those listening to the podcast, it won’t be 100% perfect because, my life is not perfect and I don’t want to give that false impression in my podcast, as I’m giving advice about: “How to balance your business and family life?” or “Self-care tips” when things in my life do happen and at the same time, with God’s help, I get through it, and you can to.

I pray that this podcast is a way to stay encouraged, laughing and motivated to continue in the Journey God has you on. It’s not always easy and there will be obstacles coming your way, my podcast is here to help you stay in the race through testimonies, the word of God and laughter (Because I LOVE to laugh!)

Meygan talks about Red flags in sex…
Creative ways to help your spouse
Communicate to your spouse OFTEN!

In the bible read the book Song of Solomon… Both partners are pleasing each other. (SERVE!)

God’s design for sex and marriage is to serve. LOVE your spouse, sex is another way to show your spouse, how much you love him or her!

[Tweet “LOVE your spouse, sex is another way to show your spouse, how much you love him or her!” Meygan- @marriage365]

Matthew 22:36-40 (ESV)

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Start having some Naked Conversations
To start having open communication, Meygan shares 25 fun questions to ask your spouse
Online premarital Course to equip you in marriage

To connect with Meygan and what her and husband at Marriage365 visit their website and on…

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Here is also Part 1 and Part 2

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P061: God’s design for sex and marriage Pt. 2

Today we are continuing our series: God’s design for sex and marriage. Meygan from Marriage365 is doing AMAZING things for couples, looking to gain the tools needed to STAY married 365 or in this year 366 days of the year. You guys go check out her blog, her and her husband Casey are doing GREAT things for the kingdom, they have TONS of resources that she will share on the podcast. You will leave the podcast laughing and ARMED with tools to thrive in your marriage! Check out Part 1, if you missed it.

 

READY…. SET…. GO!!!

This episode and the sex and marriage series, WARNING! Topics shared in this episode is not suitable for children, This is for adults only! It is VERY EXPLICIT! Nothing too crazy but Meygan, from Marriage365 and I do “Go there!” and we share explicit details.

Tips shared on the podcast are NOT for those that have been sexually abused or hurt in the past, Meygan and I encourage you to seek professional help to get healed from the past hurts. Not getting the help needed to heal from your past can hinder the intimacy in the marriage between you and the spouse.

Meygan shares her personal testimony.

If you are interested in learning more about the marriage bed and sex toys, check it out here:

– The Marriage Bed

– Christian Sex toys

– Naked Conversations

Orgasm, is not the goal of sex in marriage, its…serving your spouse! Meygan @Marriage365
Click To Tweet

Kissing helps you bond as a couple!

Marriage Tip: Kiss your spouse, A LOT!
Click To Tweet

 

 

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What is LOVE… It Never Gives up!

 

I began the beginning of the definition of love here. Today I will finish the series on LOVE with this: ( 1 Corinthians 13:2-13).

What is LOVE… It Never Gives up!

When I read this scripture, it sparked something in my heart to really take it personally. These words from the message version of the bible of this scripture, I refer back to on many different occasions. I LOVE the simplicity of it and the meaning behind it. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

 

 

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Love doesn’t strut,

Doesn’t have a swelled head,

Doesn’t force itself on others,

Isn’t always “me first,”

Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incomplete will be canceled.

Finally…. We have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswerving, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is Love.

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How to be Eco-friendly on a budget

 I LOVE ALL NATURAL products!
 
Especially products that will benefit my family and clean effectively!  I know I needed to share, how to be Eco-friendly on a budget, because a lot of the products I used are used with safe chemicals. Products such as DRYER SHEETS with essential oils?! Tooth Paste that can heal bleeding gums naturally?! 
 
3-N-1 cleaner that can be used not only in the kitchen but you can use it in your laundry?! Clean floors, cabinets, carpet, bedrooms, bathrooms and furniture?! Natural ingredients can be use in food, clean and disinfect areas in your home, Such as lemon and vinegar, instead of using bleach.
 
 
 

 
 
You can have a fresher home—without caustic chemicals, phosphates, or bleach, that can cause allergies or asthma to flare up. It’s the kind of care your home, your family, and the environment deserve. If you are looking for inexpensive ways to start being Eco-Friendly, then use these tips to start…
 
Use glass instead of plastic.
Studies have shown that instead of using plastic sandwich bags, you can use the reuse, reduce, recycle friendly containers, to save on chemicals.
 
Make vegan meals.
Making a lot of vegetarian meals can help save money and help eat more healthier.
 
You can hand make beauty products.
I make a lot of oils for my hair, that are very inexpensive, such as coconut oil, olive oil and you can use essential oils to help with your hair, cleaning and beauty products
 
 What are some products you like to use, to be Eco- friendly in your home? I’m always looking for ways to improve my home and increase in knowledge, what I need to do for my home.
 
 
 

 

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P060: God’s design for sex and marriage

This episode and the sex and marriage series, I’m starting is VERY EXPLICIT! Nothing too crazy but Meygan and I do “Go there!” and we share explicit details.

Now, if you are a faithful listener and you listened to my first couple of episodes where I talk about doing business God’s way as a mom, wife and everything in between, is still the case for this podcast and the things I share on the blog. I will share different topics surrounding business, marriage and family, I believe God desires that we experience an abundant lifestyle in EVERY area of your life (John 10:10), which includes marriage, sex, business, family, etc.

I would like to share these topics and be very transparent and authentic about it and share what the bible says about each of these topics. I will also share in these topics but will have experts sharing their experience and testimony as well.

My desire is that you are open to God’s word and the way He does things, concerning the topics I mentioned above and then some. God has the answer and my desire is that I share that on my blog and podcast. My testimony in having my husband notice that I didn’t care for him because of how focused I was in my business, almost destroyed my marriage and what God showed me was that, He desires, that I’m successful in EVERY area and I want to share that same thing, God shared with me in His word and through testimonies.

How can a spouse that is not romantic, show love to their spouse?

– Do the research (Free resources)

– 21 date night ideas

– Coach your spouse

Getting down to the Good Stuff… SEX…

Disclaimers…

–Tips shared on the podcast are NOT for those that have been sexually abused or hurt in the past, Meygan and I encourage you to seek professional help to get healed from the past hurts. Not getting the help needed to heal from your past can hinder the intimacy in the marriage between you and the spouse.

Women Do want to feel connected emotionally (90%) and physically (10%). For males it is the opposite, Emotionally (10%) and Physically (90%), God’s sense of humor!

Men… Women NEED foreplay!

The KEY to having GREAT SEX in the bedroom with your spouse…

-SERVING and HONORING your spouse

Not in the mood, here are some tips…

-Schedule sex with your spouse.

-Use code words

-Think positive about your spouse (Mentally prepare, even Journal, 5 things about your spouse)

Build the friendship with your spouse.

Men are JUST as emotional!

-Learning how to express themselves

-Giving men a safe place to express themselves

(Naked Conversations)

-Check out their “Naked Dinners” e-book

Rules across the board for married couples:

-No Third party

-No Pornography

-Nothing that hurts the other spouse

Sex is TRULY a gift to marriage!

God created sex for me to enjoy in marriage! This was VERY freeing for me to really express myself in my marriage.

-God wants to see us happy, enjoying our spouses

-Your spouses wants to see you happy as well during sex.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!!!

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