Joy Leftow's Blog, page 8

Live in Poetic Entrancement

I’m not a rapper or a rhymer I refuse to be defined except as poetI’m a social climber, not on a timerI’m an old timer, been through a lotSince bornI’m a writer, half-assed extrovert, an undercover introvertI write all day till my hands hurtUse a keyboard and mouse to typeSend out memos to me and everyone else, Letters, reminders, So busy I go crazyLive in a bluesday concert of my makingTry to avoid being hurt is like trying to avoid livingI indulge in frozen fruit parfait I make
Grab it!   Life’s for the taking do our best to make it matter. 
Proclaim! … Lives Matter!
I cry for lost dreams. Houses made of stone and glass, all wood inside the fame and fortune never gained, the way my heart has been maimed, my life tamed and bought at the corner store. Dreams estranged ~ caught up in the buzz of busy bees living day to day in a maze on a pension fund money I earned, not charity, driving safe in the slow zone. No airs or golden chalices standardized morphing of reality leave me to blaze on a hot day with no underwear. I fear living dead. Live in my head less than half of it never comes to be because I am alone, lost in a phone yet I want to be like Annie Malone and be me. I want to be her, still I see neither is he.
Change your tone; don't use your phone while we're having this conversation.
I want to be Annie Malone – the first Black woman in the US to take the world by storm.Found her accidentally on the net while searching for my old colleague Annie Malone. Blown away in awe, – Annie Malone was ahead of her time, born August 9, 1869 – A chime went off in my head to read…
American businesswoman, inventor and philanthropist, Annie Malone came from a simple life. Annie manufactured products revolutionizing hair care for Black woman. That’s my goal – be a hero, a superwoman, spokeswoman, for groups who appreciate a different kind of Annie Malone, a noblewoman, a strong secure woman, a give society-her due woman instead of suffering anxiety,
Gavin’s notoriety or mine. How much sobriety do you need to see the vitality? Like royalty live by misconception that insanity is the rule of the day. People say they want different, yet prefer compliancy, ignore morality impiously siding with majority, fear authority. Standing in a minority is gaining seniority. Gives me hope that one day we’ll be a supermajority and redevelop the meaning of authority. The Cherokees are the original owners yet were thrown away for currency.
Finally accept this is life and I’d rather do this then push up daisiesKeep all kinds of lists because the To Do’s persistin running my existence while I attempt to stay cool ~be a shamanistGet more abstractionist as I age, when I was younger, psychiatrists said I was too literalCouldn’t see me being lyrical
I preach everyone’s crazy only some us don’t recognize how crazy we have become to survive.

DO YOU REALLY THINK I’M CRAZY?

The electromagnet sitting on the fridge makes me biggerCarrot juice makes me stronger Zinfandel makes me grow longer Broccoli to make muscle mass leanerI've grown two inches taller since you last saw me Did I mention ginger burns fat? I'm 20 pounds thinner in only 2 months. Ginkgo biloba makes me smarterAll other species of Ginkgophyta extinctGingo biloba only one leftUse many herbs to cure my numerous ills Quicker ills pop up faster they disintegrateGarlic cures infections inside and out
I'm superwoman, you're a has been No justice at all. Need rulers to tell us what to doFollowers need leadersLike Peter Pan and Benjamin Button we never grow olderLike Benjamin Button, every day  grow younger Soon we won't exist at all No need to hire anyone for workDo everything ourselves Super powers in our brain. Self-sufficient towersOf humanityWe"ll be better every day. Poor, downtrodden humans will survive
Hopefully we all finally get what we deserve. 

Do You Think I’m Paranoid?

My water tastes funny I think they put hallucinogens in thereWho is they, I wonder in prayerCould be anybody out there, anybody, anywherePut a little drugs in water, a little in my teaI feel funny, like life is a dream, I don’t feel real; I feel like a puppet swaying in the windDoing what I’m supposed toI don’t know what to doWe know who or why they are who is theyCan do what they want to Dew drops fall on my head I heard them and they go where they want to too
I don’t know what I meanPut a little love in my heartI’m afraid the world’s not just about artI’m afraid because Edward Snowden said it’s soThey can do what they want to you and me thoughCause we’re nobodys just losers on the highway to nowhere, a road so obliterated by time I can stop on a dimeThere’s a reason to rhyme, it’s a paradigmPlus it’s so sublimeStop and suck on some key lime pie – don’t let this line of thought be new show time in your heartThey’re going nowhere too & it’s a different nowhere, somewhere other than where we are, or where we want to be

I AM THE MUSIC IN ME

Everyday I reinventMyself to discover who I amI used to be somebodyNow I’m someone elseLost inside my own mindI’m coming through Got a message in a bottleI knit, crochet, do macramé,Paint, nurture cats, plants, & people, I try to be money prudentI play music to create
My heart beats with the music in me

So Very Proud Again ...

Proud to announce again:
Now only am I new bride to Gavin Jones, AKA Dubblex, he tells me I’m his source of inspiration and of this I am very proud. I am also proud that Fountain House Gallery shows his work and ArtLifting is also promoting Gavin and selling his work.
See what’s for sale here!  
I am proud too that I am one of the recent winners of a poetry contest where the publishing house, Acquirelle. I won 3rd prize. I understand from other poets that winning any poetry contest and a book deal as a result of the contest, is a very big deal. Again I am so very very proud. I quote Acquirelle below:
!You have a unique voice, a great voice, we are delighted to have created this book for you; you rank with those we consider the top of our published work (and there are a few great ones there). You are a worthy winner in the contest (this collection proves it once again) and it is a pity no "regular" publisher has yet discovered you. Maybe this book will help, it is a book to be proud of!

In about 2 months you will find the book my book, Tupelo Honey and other tales on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Ingram. Aquillrelle will do some marketing through Facebook, Twitter, New Press Release and my own page on our site.

2 short poems

That One Little Thing ...
I lost the paper I had written that tidbit of information onperhaps I’ll have to search the garbage againlooking for that one little scrap that will make lifemore worthwhile and then I see my whole life is a metaphor for this search constantly seeking that one little thing I’ve lost or misplaced, like the cash that dropped off my computer stand that day and fell in the garbage pail beneath where I finally salvaged it after two days    LADDER OF SUCCESS
Lets all mingle and hobnob with the bigwigsthe ones we follow as leadershope and wait for the time when they will follow me
and you will have become passe’

L’Chaim! Toasting 2017

My words like music, fill your earsMy lips, soft like rose petals touch your lipsWords fill you with sounds I don’t hearRhymes I spout fill your heartLonely, long for love, here, nowToo smart for my own goodIf you only stood where I stand,Maybe you’d understandWhere I’m coming from
Childhood to adulthood in barely an hourLive till we’re dead under powerOf the IRS, government shadows & showers Wonder if or when or can it be betterOur minds, thoughts controlled, fetteredWould a chain letter do, a scarlet letterBE a trend setter or pacesetter
Move forward, be straightforwardHold words close to our heartAs though words are people;They’re not Store words in our hearts Know we can’t go back to yesterdayMust live with what we hear todayWhat we say & hear on sad daysThoughts are transientWords last longerCan’t erase words you’ve spokenWords escape your palate, are tokenLeave me brokenheartedPretend to study a pie chart
Love is strange, Life, a curse, a game played on my shameKick start my life into another movie frameSoothe and feed flamesLove claims my blameMy name, my fame, Life’s games, reclaim my stage & nick name
Disclaim strife – go on with life

Is It Love or Excuses - will be included in upcoming book Tupelo Honey published by Acquirelle

Is It Love or Excuses - will be included in upcoming book Tupelo Honey published by Acquirelle. I won 3rd prize in their contest and for that I get 5 free books and they publish the book.

First Prize: 15 books and a Kindle plus they publish a book of your work.

Second Prize: 10 copies plus they publish a book of your work.

Third Prize: 5 copies of your book plus they publish a book of your work.

I got 3rd prize!

I have been told my others this is very significant because it is very hard to win any contest!




If you can not see this chirbit, listen to it here http://chirb.it/5GDcPH
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Dream Lover

I dreamed this scenario several weeks ago. I am with Missy, my young grad school buddy.  She’s with a new boyfriend, someone I never met before. I recognize this as being strange in my dream, knowing she's now married with children. Bob, my boyfriend, Missy, and my son, Joey are all there together. Bob is with us yet seconds later, he is rapping to some chick 15 feet away. I walk towards them, but when I get there, Bob’s disappeared into thin air.  “Where's Bob?"  I ask. Joey says, “In the store, buying beer.”         Missy and I are walking downtown on Broadway together. We’re on our way to visit my Dad who lives down on 162ndstreet and Riverside Drive. It’s a long walk from Sickle Street (Close to Dykeman Street) in Washington Heights. This is before Washington Heights became Hudson Heights, before gentrification. For me it will always be The Heights.Missy and I are strolling slowly, talking, taking our time.  We run into Alan Abel, the big 'Get Even' Scam Man Prankster, Bob had once introduced me to. I say, “Hey Alan, how are you?” Alan says, “Hey, how’re ya’? You’re the woman involved with Bob, that young English fellow I met you with in Oxford?” Alan is speaking while pulling out all these stylish clothes from somewhere. I can’t figure out where they’re coming from. Missy says excitedly, “Lets share everything here.” “Excellent,” I agree, forgetting my concern about where the stuff is coming from.I pull out a tight colorful skirt. I feel Missy’s eyes on it. I say, “Oh Missy, that wouldn't fit you, you're too big.” I realize I spoke without thinking. Missy is not big anymore plus I'm worried I hurt her feelings. I quickly say, “Oh you're not big anymore.” Too late, the words are spoken.          Missy, Alan and I wind up in my apartment in my home office. Alan is using my fax to make copies. I remember Bob putting cellophane wrappers on the roller that holds the fax paper. Later he refills with paper. I can't remember why Bob was using cellophane but suddenly realize Bob’s trying to trap me into doing something sexual with Alan. He is using cellophane to create a tracking record on fax. Alan continues to make copies using the fax machine. Alan says, “I really appreciate you letting me use your machine this way.”Suddenly I smell something funny burning inside the fax and the copy button pops up and out of the machine. I say, “Oh shit, Bob warned me about how careful I have to be with this fax.  He gave me this long list of do's and don'ts. Repeated over and over, ‘don't use white out, no scotch tape either, don’t touch buttons,’ and truth is I’m guilty and he’ll say I broke his fax.”         Alan focuses on me. Alan says, “How much do you care about this Bob guy?”   “I'm crazy about him and can’t understand why he makes me unhappy. I wonder if any man can give me what I want or need.”         Missy cuts in, “Do you both feel the same about faithfulness?” Alan tells Missy, 'No, the real problem is she has not found anyone to meet her needs or make her happy.”         Alan turns to include me, “But, why aren't you faithful?”  “You mean unfaithful because I'm hanging out with you here?'  Right beside me standing there abruptly is some guy who wasn't there a second before. Someone I’ve never seen before.I defend myself, “Oh, we don't have sex. And although I've been unfaithful, I'd much rather be faithful, but somehow, when I get unhappy I also get unfaithful."  I pause and take a breath.           "Is that it?" Alan said. He smiles slightly, adds in his strong pretend English accent, "Well, that's all right then, some people are unfaithful just for the hell of it."         "No," Missy says, "There's more to it than that.”Alan has his mind made up. He starts making lists of the pros and cons about my relationship with Bob. Instead of reading the lists, I watch him feeding the lists through the fax to make copies. I see he's taped relevant and matching stuff together to better organize themes. I get worried about the fax again.  “Alan” I say, “you will break the fax putting paper through with tape.”         Scene switches again. Alan and I are sitting together on big rocks at an outdoor garden. We are completely alone and isolated. Alan moves closer behind me. The waterfall in front of us is breathtaking like Niagara, granite rocks glinting from the sun, slippery, and filled with lush wild flowers. The view mesmerizes me. Beautiful, and wild, yet tended to. I want to climb down but it's about a five-foot drop. I worry if I can’t get down I won't be able to climb back up without help. I stand there enjoying a familiar rapture, Alan’s powerful energy combined with the moment’s tranquility. I am enraptured yet captive.          I feel Alan’s body pressing against mine from behind me. His growing erection presses against my butt. “I want you to be mine,” he says. Even though I’m crazy beyond what you’ve ever known before, I believe we can make it.” He leans in, bends his head toward mine for that first heady kiss.         Dizziness overcomes me, hunger claws at me. My stomach lurches with fear of getting involved and let down again, and still I raise my lips to greet his.         Eyes wide open, gazing deep inside my eyes, I feel hurt and hunger so deep, and my womb throbs with desire while his erection pulses against me.

L’Chaim! Toasting 2017 ...

My words like music, fill your earsMy lips, soft like rose petals touch your lipsWords fill you with sounds I don’t hearRhymes I spout fill your heartLonely, long for love, here, nowToo smart for my own goodIf you only stood where I stand,Maybe you’d understandWhere I’m coming from
Childhood to adulthood in barely an hourLive till we’re dead under powerOf the IRS, government shadows & showers Wonder if or when or can it be betterOur minds, thoughts controlled, fetteredWould a chain letter do, a scarlet letterBE a trend setter or pacesetter
Move forward, be straightforwardHold words close to our heartAs though words are people;They’re not Store words in our hearts Know we can’t go back to yesterdayMust live with what we hear todayWhat we say & hear on sad daysThoughts are transientWords last longerCan’t erase words you’ve spokenWords escape your palate, are tokenLeave me brokenheartedPretend to study a pie chart
Love is strange, Life, a curse, a game played on my shameKick start my life into another movie frameSoothe and feed flamesLove claims my blameMy name, my fame, Life’s games, reclaim my stage & nick name
Disclaim strife – go on with life