Joy Leftow's Blog, page 4
March 27, 2020
ALL ABOUT THE MONEY, HONEY
I am Jewish, I am Woman,I am Muslim, I am BuddhistCall me names, call me whore,pussy, kike, sand-nigger, call me what you like,Psyche – I recall Third Reich
Name-calling, hate all about the money, honeyDon’t want to believe in sunny moneyIt’s bloody Sunday with moneyTurn people against one anotherSmarter people see – better believeKeep us with our stupid little asses Dealing with petty shit
All about the money – money –Rich don’t pay taxesYou and I support them
With our puny little money
It’s all about the money honeyNo reprieve, better believeRich not aggrieved, we pay more than they doThey like it like that
Make things perfect, we need another war, One more Vietnam – Trump’s a perfect mentornot smart but listens-even though he doesn’t understand moreTrump listens, says what he’s told to sayDo things the money wayBefore we all disappear, become who we no longer are,like Handmaidens in Atwood’s novelOr Station Eleven in Mandel's world,Then it will be too lateIt will be who we are – when freedom’s gone
It’s all about the money Money creates militaryNo sense being a pacifist since WWIIRecall how that got us hereDidn’t win us any points there either if you recallHate Jews more ‘n Blacks nowJews on the Death Tax, It’s a factTake it up the assPeople at the bottomHave nothing to show, Nowhere to go
Things done the money wayIt’s heyday for the rich folkPeople worked to the bone before they croakThe world we all know up in smokeNo taxes for multi-billionaire corporations Middle-class disintegrationA shakedown of global proportions
Desperation and confusion Our relation to better-off folkIt’s all about the money, honeyPrejudice has real resultsIntensified by lack of trickle-down, Nothing left to loseLive in Shantytown, USA
All about the military created by money, honeyGovernment Globally – controlled by Money, Honey
This is the world today, HoneyIt’s all about the Money, Honey
Name-calling, hate all about the money, honeyDon’t want to believe in sunny moneyIt’s bloody Sunday with moneyTurn people against one anotherSmarter people see – better believeKeep us with our stupid little asses Dealing with petty shit
All about the money – money –Rich don’t pay taxesYou and I support them
With our puny little money
It’s all about the money honeyNo reprieve, better believeRich not aggrieved, we pay more than they doThey like it like that
Make things perfect, we need another war, One more Vietnam – Trump’s a perfect mentornot smart but listens-even though he doesn’t understand moreTrump listens, says what he’s told to sayDo things the money wayBefore we all disappear, become who we no longer are,like Handmaidens in Atwood’s novelOr Station Eleven in Mandel's world,Then it will be too lateIt will be who we are – when freedom’s gone
It’s all about the money Money creates militaryNo sense being a pacifist since WWIIRecall how that got us hereDidn’t win us any points there either if you recallHate Jews more ‘n Blacks nowJews on the Death Tax, It’s a factTake it up the assPeople at the bottomHave nothing to show, Nowhere to go
Things done the money wayIt’s heyday for the rich folkPeople worked to the bone before they croakThe world we all know up in smokeNo taxes for multi-billionaire corporations Middle-class disintegrationA shakedown of global proportions
Desperation and confusion Our relation to better-off folkIt’s all about the money, honeyPrejudice has real resultsIntensified by lack of trickle-down, Nothing left to loseLive in Shantytown, USA
All about the military created by money, honeyGovernment Globally – controlled by Money, Honey
This is the world today, HoneyIt’s all about the Money, Honey
January 30, 2020
Let Us Be Free
Waiting on a revelation about the coming revolution It’s a slow go, no one wants to know we’re just a bunch of good little soldiersDoing what we’re told toI’ve made no resolution to begin a revolution I want to see people treated fairI turn to me say see me free to be fair to meSet me free outside myselfSet me free let me be me “my bad” will set me free
deny the naysayers, haters and dis abusers
See meAn angel cast from heaven originally and because of my big mouth, sentenced to hell on earthfallen from grace a casualty for being meSet me free from this insanity, this rat eat rat cultureWe waifs wander the street like abused common yard rats we want to be set free. Even rats are drawn to starlight and love to feel the earth beneath their feet instead of the hard city pavement where we are caged togetherdining on musical words helps me while away my days whilst I sit here and await my fate in the next genocide, an autolytic sourpuss
pray, permit me to continuein a prison, I sit awaiting sentencemy pitiful existence pale compared to theecast me from your kingdomwandering, searching far from homeam a product of your fear and cast-off genius combineddisowned and disavowedWings stolen while I awakened from a nightmare to discoverI lived a life not mineWorrying didn’t helpAccepting unfair demands didn’t help either but what if you don’t have a choiceeasy for you to say let it go and let it beLet it go and let me free, let it go and set me freeOn wings, I flew once with you as an angel, now cast from your graceLaugh as you look down upon me pleading to be set freeAnd you say, girl, you had it the way you wanted to beAnd you asked to be set free
I set you free and now you wanna come back to me.Pity about those set free who wanna come back to meBeing me who’s no longer me is no fun
even when you think you wanna be freeOnce you rode on wings you could spread
but you prayed me to let you be free Now you beg to come home and
it’s too late to let you back in my graceLet it all go, daughter, let it all go so you return to be an angel spreading her wings – wings fashioned from dreams - wings with kaleidoscope colors
January 21, 2020
Purple Haze (Updated Version)
I live my life in a purple haze Not just a faze, a way of life in the 60s, purple haze was an LSD craze asleep in my heart's gaze Lost in my mind's mazeSpouse Blissfully unaware, doesn’t care Can’t get a social security raiseKeep wondering about ways To enjoy the sun’s raysTo get out of this malaiseCan’t get ahead, just move sidewaysI’m only human, feel so blasé after so many daysunexcited with exceptions to every rule I faceLost in a different kind of haze not knowing where I am in this phase of my life, not trifleRephrase the question which is the answer to why I live this way, I’m only human, so screw you tooYou flex your money whileI flex humanity. only a few own all the moneyI agree, must be the end of daysWhy else would it be this way?
Take a plane get off in the next state, Turn on the TV and see the same shitMy soul ablaze, am I a hypocrite?Humanity says it’s democracyFree market enterprise, capitalist economyIt’s all lies – otherwise, we’d all be the same size,And all that jazzDisenfranchised, the poor get less than ever beforeI flex humanity, the world is ending Hate to be pessimistic – hard to possess a future that’s slipping awayIn overflowing seas, rivers ceasing to be Becoming more than we are meant to be
Take a plane get off in the next state, Turn on the TV and see the same shitMy soul ablaze, am I a hypocrite?Humanity says it’s democracyFree market enterprise, capitalist economyIt’s all lies – otherwise, we’d all be the same size,And all that jazzDisenfranchised, the poor get less than ever beforeI flex humanity, the world is ending Hate to be pessimistic – hard to possess a future that’s slipping awayIn overflowing seas, rivers ceasing to be Becoming more than we are meant to be
December 19, 2019
STRIVE TO STAY ALIVE
STRIVE TO STAY ALIVE
I want to cry for my lost dreams. That house made of stone and glass with all wood inside the fame and fortune I never gained, the way my heart has been maimed my life tamed and bought at the corner store. Dreams estranged caught up in the buzz of busy bees living day to day in a maze on a pension fund Money I earned not charity driving safe in the slow zone. No airs or golden chalices, standardized morphing of reality Leave me to blaze on a hot day Sweat with no underwear. I fear for the living dead. Live life in my head less than half my dreams never come to fruitionbecause I’m not Annie Malone, neither is he change your tone please, Don't use your phone while we're having this conversation. I want to be a millinerTired of infighting, heart a siren, beats with desire Set the sky on fire, bring souls out of mire, stir the fires of loveIgnore the jive of each haze, the latest crazeAlways some new malaise Live like lostIn a moon phaseDo my best to stay alive and thrive
I want to cry for my lost dreams. That house made of stone and glass with all wood inside the fame and fortune I never gained, the way my heart has been maimed my life tamed and bought at the corner store. Dreams estranged caught up in the buzz of busy bees living day to day in a maze on a pension fund Money I earned not charity driving safe in the slow zone. No airs or golden chalices, standardized morphing of reality Leave me to blaze on a hot day Sweat with no underwear. I fear for the living dead. Live life in my head less than half my dreams never come to fruitionbecause I’m not Annie Malone, neither is he change your tone please, Don't use your phone while we're having this conversation. I want to be a millinerTired of infighting, heart a siren, beats with desire Set the sky on fire, bring souls out of mire, stir the fires of loveIgnore the jive of each haze, the latest crazeAlways some new malaise Live like lostIn a moon phaseDo my best to stay alive and thrive
November 24, 2019
Live in Poetic EntrancementI’m not a rapper or a rhymer&n...
Live in Poetic Entrancement
I’m not a rapper or a rhymer I refuse to be defined except as poetI’m a social climber, not on a timerI’m an old timer, been through a lotSince bornI’m a writer, half-assed extrovert, an undercover introvertI write all day till my hands hurtUse a keyboard and mouse to typeSend out memos to me and everyone else, Letters, reminders, So busy I go crazyLive in a bluesday concert of my makingTry to avoid being hurt is like trying to avoid livingI indulge in frozen fruit parfait I makeGrab it! Life’s for the taking do our best to make it matter. Proclaim! … Lives Matter!
I cry for lost dreams. Houses made of stone and glass, all wood inside the fame and fortune never gained, the way my heart has been maimed, my life tamed and bought at the corner store. Dreams estranged ~ caught up in the buzz of busy bees living day to day in a maze on a pension fund money I earned, not charity, driving safe in the slow zone. No airs or golden chalices standardized morphing of reality leave me to blaze on a hot day with no underwear. I fear living dead. Live in my head less than half of it never comes to be because I am alone, lost in a phone yet I want to be like Annie Malone and be me. I want to be her, still I see, neither is he.
Change your tone; don't use your phone while we're having this conversation.
I want to be Annie Malone – the first Black woman in the US to take the world by storm.Found her accidentally on the net while searching for my old colleague Annie Malone. Blown away in awe, – Annie Malone was ahead of her time, born August 9, 1869 – A chime went off in my head to read…
American businesswoman, inventor, and philanthropist, Annie Malone came from a simple life. Annie manufactured products revolutionizing hair care for Black women. That’s my goal – be a hero, a superwoman, spokeswoman, for groups who appreciate a different kind of Annie Malone, a noblewoman, a strong secure woman, a give society-her due woman instead of suffering anxiety,
Gavin’s notoriety or mine. How much sobriety do you need to see the vitality? Like royalty live by misconception that insanity is the rule of the day. People say they want different, yet prefer compliancy, ignore morality impiously siding with majority, fear authority. Standing in a minority is gaining seniority. Gives me hope that one day we’ll be a supermajority and redevelop the meaning of authority. The Cherokees are the original owners yet were thrown away for currency.
Finally accept this is life and I’d rather do this then push up daisiesKeep all kinds of lists because the To Do’s persistin running my existence while I attempt to stay cool ~be a shamanistGet more abstractionist as I age, when I was younger, psychiatrists said I was too literalCouldn’t see me being lyricalI preach everyone’s crazy only some us don’t recognize how crazy we have become to survive.
I’m not a rapper or a rhymer I refuse to be defined except as poetI’m a social climber, not on a timerI’m an old timer, been through a lotSince bornI’m a writer, half-assed extrovert, an undercover introvertI write all day till my hands hurtUse a keyboard and mouse to typeSend out memos to me and everyone else, Letters, reminders, So busy I go crazyLive in a bluesday concert of my makingTry to avoid being hurt is like trying to avoid livingI indulge in frozen fruit parfait I makeGrab it! Life’s for the taking do our best to make it matter. Proclaim! … Lives Matter!
I cry for lost dreams. Houses made of stone and glass, all wood inside the fame and fortune never gained, the way my heart has been maimed, my life tamed and bought at the corner store. Dreams estranged ~ caught up in the buzz of busy bees living day to day in a maze on a pension fund money I earned, not charity, driving safe in the slow zone. No airs or golden chalices standardized morphing of reality leave me to blaze on a hot day with no underwear. I fear living dead. Live in my head less than half of it never comes to be because I am alone, lost in a phone yet I want to be like Annie Malone and be me. I want to be her, still I see, neither is he.
Change your tone; don't use your phone while we're having this conversation.
I want to be Annie Malone – the first Black woman in the US to take the world by storm.Found her accidentally on the net while searching for my old colleague Annie Malone. Blown away in awe, – Annie Malone was ahead of her time, born August 9, 1869 – A chime went off in my head to read…
American businesswoman, inventor, and philanthropist, Annie Malone came from a simple life. Annie manufactured products revolutionizing hair care for Black women. That’s my goal – be a hero, a superwoman, spokeswoman, for groups who appreciate a different kind of Annie Malone, a noblewoman, a strong secure woman, a give society-her due woman instead of suffering anxiety,
Gavin’s notoriety or mine. How much sobriety do you need to see the vitality? Like royalty live by misconception that insanity is the rule of the day. People say they want different, yet prefer compliancy, ignore morality impiously siding with majority, fear authority. Standing in a minority is gaining seniority. Gives me hope that one day we’ll be a supermajority and redevelop the meaning of authority. The Cherokees are the original owners yet were thrown away for currency.
Finally accept this is life and I’d rather do this then push up daisiesKeep all kinds of lists because the To Do’s persistin running my existence while I attempt to stay cool ~be a shamanistGet more abstractionist as I age, when I was younger, psychiatrists said I was too literalCouldn’t see me being lyricalI preach everyone’s crazy only some us don’t recognize how crazy we have become to survive.
June 20, 2019
The eye in my sky is crying
The eye in my sky is crying
See my fears roll down the streetTears allayed by stares in spaceA cell phone in hand, no dial tone, a blues band commands my adrenal glandsUnderstand it’s my wedding band, not a new brand of incense,I take a firm stand on a crash land course stuck in the Meadowlands of YorkPassion fruit seeps from my sweat glandsSwerving into oblivion on the freeway, an alien shaman ~ that’s meAn alligator devoured my right hand – Now 2 left feet remainBeauty is nothing but a backdrop for the bluesWe all want beauty peace a little food and empathyI keep trying and failing to decompartmentalize; an exemplary fitLost my wit – cut it out stupid twit see what’s writ do as befits, I observe others fare better
The eye in my sky reflects humanity’s tears their fears that life can’t be any better or go anywhere except to all one place eventuallyDo you want to be easily forgotten, your family hereA score or two more, no one will know youDamn, give your shell to charityNo formaldehyde either please, I use the excuse I’m Jewish; bury me green, please I keep saying son, it will pass you by before we come noon to sunIs this how you want to spend your last day
My man loves his drugsAlmost as much or more than meHe gets them easily supercalifragilisticexpialidociously,
Tons of prescriptions legallyHis drugs do him rightMomentarily maniacal he says he’s feeling’ so tightI see him in a new light struggling to writeDoctrinally following clinical struggles, a mix of Geodon, Ambien, Lamogine, To name a few - some are noxious, others only for allergiesBilly Jean’s not his lover, enervated after meds no more energy to survive when he’s done, Throw some synergy into the frayWalking up Bombay Broadway Brings me back to tears rolling down the streetI refuse to admit defeat, repeat it all again and againThe eye in my sky is crying
[soo-per-kal-uh-fraj-uh-lis-tik-ek-spee-al-i-doh-shuhs]
See my fears roll down the streetTears allayed by stares in spaceA cell phone in hand, no dial tone, a blues band commands my adrenal glandsUnderstand it’s my wedding band, not a new brand of incense,I take a firm stand on a crash land course stuck in the Meadowlands of YorkPassion fruit seeps from my sweat glandsSwerving into oblivion on the freeway, an alien shaman ~ that’s meAn alligator devoured my right hand – Now 2 left feet remainBeauty is nothing but a backdrop for the bluesWe all want beauty peace a little food and empathyI keep trying and failing to decompartmentalize; an exemplary fitLost my wit – cut it out stupid twit see what’s writ do as befits, I observe others fare better
The eye in my sky reflects humanity’s tears their fears that life can’t be any better or go anywhere except to all one place eventuallyDo you want to be easily forgotten, your family hereA score or two more, no one will know youDamn, give your shell to charityNo formaldehyde either please, I use the excuse I’m Jewish; bury me green, please I keep saying son, it will pass you by before we come noon to sunIs this how you want to spend your last day
My man loves his drugsAlmost as much or more than meHe gets them easily supercalifragilisticexpialidociously,
Tons of prescriptions legallyHis drugs do him rightMomentarily maniacal he says he’s feeling’ so tightI see him in a new light struggling to writeDoctrinally following clinical struggles, a mix of Geodon, Ambien, Lamogine, To name a few - some are noxious, others only for allergiesBilly Jean’s not his lover, enervated after meds no more energy to survive when he’s done, Throw some synergy into the frayWalking up Bombay Broadway Brings me back to tears rolling down the streetI refuse to admit defeat, repeat it all again and againThe eye in my sky is crying
[soo-per-kal-uh-fraj-uh-lis-tik-ek-spee-al-i-doh-shuhs]
May 31, 2019
REVELATION
Waiting on a revelation about the coming revolution It’s slow no one wants to know we’re just a bunch of good little soldiersDoing what we’re told toI’ve made no resolution to begin a revolution I want to see people treated fairI turn to me, say, see me free to be fair to meSet me free outside myselfSet me free, let me be me “my bad” will set me free deny the naysayers, haters and dis abusers
See meAn angel cast from heaven originally because of my big mouth, I was sentenced to hell on earth fallen from grace, a casualty for being meSet me free from this insanity, this rat eat rat cultureWe waifs wander the street
like abused common yard rats we want to be set free. Even rats are drawn to starlight and love to feel the earth beneath their feet instead of the hard city pavement where we are caged togetherdining on musical words helps me while away my days whilst I sit here and await my fate in the next genocide an autolytic sourpuss
pray, permit me to continuein a prison, I sit awaiting sentencemy pitiful existence pale compared to theecast me from your kingdomwandering searching far from homeam a product of your fear and castoff genius combineddisowned and disavowedWings stolen while I awakened from a nightmare to discoverI lived a life not mineWorrying doesn't help
Accepting unfair demands doesn't help either but what if you don’t have a choiceeasy for you to say let it go and let it beLet it go and let me free, let it go and set me freeOn wings, I flew once with you as an angel now cast from your graceLaugh as you look down upon me pleading to be set freeAnd you say girl you had it the way you wanted to beYou ask to be set freeI set you free and now you want to come back to me.Pity about those set free who want to come back to meBeing me who’s no longer me is no fun even when you think you want to be freeOnce you rode on wings you could spread but you prayed me to let you be free Now you beg to come home and it’s too late to let you back in my graceLet it all go daughter, let it all go so you return to be an angel spreading her wings – wings fashioned from dreams - wings with kaleidoscope colors
February 2, 2019
I Live My Life In A Purple Haze
Not just a faze, a way of life back in the 60s, purple haze was an LSD craze now under my hearts gaze Lost in my minds mazeCan’t get a social security raiseKeep wondering about ways To enjoy the sun’s raysAnd get out of this malaiseCan’t get ahead, keep moving sidewaysI’m only human, feeling so blasé after so many daysunexcited with exceptions to every rule I faceLost in a different kind of haze not knowing where I am in this phase of my life, not trifleRephrase the question which is the answer to why I’m living this way, I’m only human, so fuck you tooI don’t need money to flexI flex my humanity instead of moneyI agree, must be the end of days
January 13, 2019
Heart’s Navigation into My Soul
Slowly painfully melt into oblivion, fight, make my way to differentiation, not game, work for concentration, live in a hazy intoxication of my makingNot wise to make assumptions leads to my demised corruption Not about my occupation still kicking today for another dayLiberation from knowledge about his medicationWhat that means in expression or the conclusionLife is a series of reflections A projection of ourselves like live cinema screenRegression into vegetation – initiation into some cruel occupation of my soul wandersThrough listless impressions. dedication to a life I know nothing ofExploration of a faceless alibi, compression of frustration, I hold backSeek restitution, restoration for what I never owned
I want to drink a bottle of wine, talk about hard timesI want to sit and drink this wine, sit and worry about my declineI want to drink this wine and think about fine timesI want to climb up high and forget realityI want to forget slime balls I meet and center on my bloodlineSettle on bloodline, like settling on a landmineKnow life is on a deadline, it’s asinineTrying to believe in divine isn’t the goldmine Want to conquer the fierce divideI want to live in oblivion I can’t take the painPain rears his ugly head disdainfullyAgain and again…Pain reverberates, vibrates in my headhear the only relief is death want to avoid that choiceLive inside of my headAvoid the world outside Daddy preached the world is a dangerous placeFilled with pitfalls, delusions of grandeur Fear says insolation is perfect solutionLife lived inside dreams, hidden away – Daddy's waySeek relief in dreams Search for who I could beIf only I’d stop hiding awayinsane in the membrane of my brainI struggle to stay sane
I want to drink a bottle of wine, talk about hard timesI want to sit and drink this wine, sit and worry about my declineI want to drink this wine and think about fine timesI want to climb up high and forget realityI want to forget slime balls I meet and center on my bloodlineSettle on bloodline, like settling on a landmineKnow life is on a deadline, it’s asinineTrying to believe in divine isn’t the goldmine Want to conquer the fierce divideI want to live in oblivion I can’t take the painPain rears his ugly head disdainfullyAgain and again…Pain reverberates, vibrates in my headhear the only relief is death want to avoid that choiceLive inside of my headAvoid the world outside Daddy preached the world is a dangerous placeFilled with pitfalls, delusions of grandeur Fear says insolation is perfect solutionLife lived inside dreams, hidden away – Daddy's waySeek relief in dreams Search for who I could beIf only I’d stop hiding awayinsane in the membrane of my brainI struggle to stay sane
January 5, 2019
REINCARNATION TO A NEW LIFE
You need to wake up, live in a daze a haze of days Morning noon and night It ain’t right but there’s no way to stop you Like talking the living to the dead Entire life living in the red, sleep and rest in the bed it’s my bad nothing eases the pain pills night and day - no way to stop youThe mental and physical anguish remains the same as you push life to exsanguinateyour blood thins day by day, tire so easy it’s all breezy and good, you examine your mind, it’s more than a faze but it’s all good You explain the drugs are legally prescribed by many different doctors who listen to your complaints They prescribe pills to alleviate the gaze of hazy pain you live inDescribe pain where it maintains a domicile in your head – it possesses you, obsesses you search for a nonexistent cure Can’t accept the prognosis, 18 drugs a day all prescribed to the beat of your heart. Slows the glow / the glue holding you together disappears in my heart. Another pill won’t cure your ills. Determine the excess of the access or access to excuse Excuse me, I meant excess the distress, there’s no elixir to create a victor,It’s all downhill by doctor’s goodwillI profess I’m consumed and confused; is it the syndrome about which comes first - the chicken or the egg? A stitch in time ain’t worth a dime, do you have the time On the road to enlightenment, forget sentiments the buck stops here. Watch on the sidelines while u struggle for a quick exit Living life like you’re fit to be tied, live life on an incline Live the fast laneYou’ll regret it, lose out in the end living inside your mind won’t suffice or change the end. Tell myself and tell you. My words fade in the southwestern wind turning southerly while we dismiss lists Stuck in an abyss, lost in time, fade in the dreamer Stare at your demeanor, lost and found, I stand my ground while Jill comes tumbling after and Jack can’t find his crown Search through the valley of death Surmise the crease in your pantsCry another dance, dry tears in my eyes. My vision blurred by raindrops falling. Remember to see the sea widens fear to die in the midst of a dream becomes real You will heal from the power of words I implore
