Joy Leftow's Blog, page 2
May 4, 2024
Reinvent The Universe
Need alone downtime
To survive threatening circumstances
Need to listen to the hurt, hear the cries
Regrets I try to forget, leave behind
I turn a blind eye to the answer
Vow to leave doubt out of the question to my answer
Lies survive, my lips deny my heart
Fear a mishap on the horizon
An angel forsaking our great nation on the verge of denial
Does Gehinnom exist? - Jew’s purgatory
Refuse to accommodate doubts about heaven or hell:
Gehinnom
Intensification exists no doubt
Fingertips feel my heart beat with passion
Sensation alive in my drive
Pain sears through my womb
Pain rips my soul from a concentration camp
Revive a better nation based on the assumption
That they do what they want to and we do what we’re told
Secrets we hold near, they hurt but they stay there
I deny what we live through
Live outside my head in the grip of a constant illusion
Hear conversations that never occur
Survive the delusion I live inside my head
Rich imaginings of what was said
What never was nor will be
Die and I never said what I meant to say to you and now I never will
The pain never stops
I keep moving my feet to a beat only I hear,
I try to help someone hear,
Please hear, but no one hears but my fear
Standing alone in a grim bleak reality, coming and going alone
Solutions flash by and are slashed off by reality as
I follow the path of Dorothy unafraid of what precedes me, lies in wait
In a roughened bush burning by the side of an elegant brook
In a forest of deceit, I wander hearing innocent animals slaughtered
Cries calling out in my head instead
Reality frozen in a time frame
Waiting for a way out of the underflow
I call to every passerby I see
Please, I beg, a hand please, I beg, don’t hurt me
I’m only a first-time offender
I didn’t mean to raise my hand,
Absolution for the abortion,
Please stop the pollution,
I hear the cries of an ancient race of animals now all dead,
There’s no more of them to kill, only a lab created animal exists
Please Father, a benediction before I go and leave this universe
Can you give me a calculation of where you think I’ll be?
Father I have sinned, 10 hail Marys and go your way and sin no more
I promise, Father I have sinned
Afraid there’s another life waiting somewhere to find me
Explore, seeking to find my way out of mischief into a glance of an inner richer universe
No exsanguination please
Try not to cry and the tears build in my eyes betray me
Water builds but doesn’t flow, yet you see me
I explode into another me - who is she?
I don’t know
I didn’t make her
She is I bubbling beneath the blood
Warm, ready to burst forth in flames fires
Burst forth from my mouth like a dragon breathing fire I
Explode into a new me
Once more, a reinvention of whom I want to be
May 3, 2024
PRAY THE WORLD LET LOVE WIN ~ LET'S LOVE IN
Only way to overcome hate
Desire to pray overtakes me
Rub melted pure organic coconut oil
On my skin
Desire to pray overtakes me
All type prayers invade me at once,
can’t figure what’s wrong with me
Praying in tongues
Words escape me, call on Jesus
Call on God
Pray there’s really one,
To answer the call
Bring peace and love to all
Pray to Jesus, please help me heal me from this pain
This misery that becomes me
My brother, my brethren, his blood is where I came from
Tribes nearby where he was born, is where my blood is from
I pray,
Recall how you told me, pray to Mother and Father Coconut to heal you
while you massage coconut oil into your skin and they will hear you, they will heal you
So, I do this too
Please hear my prayers and heal me
Pray to all who may hear me
Speak no Hebrew except in tongues unknown that overtake me
Can’t escape being a Jew
Stop the thunder, hurt and pain
Pain like a runaway train
Hurts to watch humanity
Be so cold unto itself
Like a runaway train
Pain inside me grows to implode, explode
Pain inside and out ~ sit & watch
Something’s got a hold o’ me, I know it must be love
A treasure trove, need to relieve the pain of humanity
Love is life send it to your home from mine
Spread the word,
Escape the thunder
So scared the thunder will win
Pray, say, hear the lord’s words
Feel love – so scared love does lose
Young people must show the way
The world, unleased, has lost its way
This runaway train can only be stopped by love
The hurt and the pain can only be stopped by love
Stand in the way, hey Father, hey
let love stop world’s craziness
let humanity be what it should be,
what it could be if only love is all we need
PRAY THE WORLD LETS LOVE WIN ~ LETS LOVE IN
Only way to overcome hate
Desire to pray overtakes me
Rub melted pure organic coconut oil
On my skin
Desire to pray overtakes me
All type prayers invade me at once,
can’t figure what’s wrong with me
Praying in tongues
Words escape me, call on Jesus
Call on God
Pray there’s really one,
To answer the call
Bring peace and love to all
Pray to Jesus, please help me heal me from this pain
This misery that becomes me
My brother, my brethren, his blood is where I came from
Tribes nearby where he was born, is where my blood is from
I
pray,
Recall how you told me, pray to Mother and Father Coconut to heal you
while you massage coconut oil into your skin and they will hear you, they will heal you
So, I do this too
Please hear my prayers and heal me
Pray to all who may hear me
Speak no Hebrew except in tongues unknown that overtake me
Can’t escape being a Jew
Stop the thunder, hurt and pain
Pain like a runaway train
Hurts to watch humanity
Be so cold unto itself
Like a runaway train
Pain inside me grows to implode, explode
Pain inside and out ~ sit & watch
Something’s got a hold o’ me, I know it must be love
A treasure trove, need to relieve the pain of humanity
Love is life send it to your home from mine
Spread the word,
Escape the thunder
So scared the thunder will win
Pray say, hear the lord’s words
Feel love – so scared love does lose
Young people must show the way
The world, unleased, has lost its way
This runaway train can only be stopped by love
The hurt and the pain can only be stopped by love
Stand in the way, hey father, hey
let love stop world’s craziness
let humanity be what it should,
what it could be if only love is all we need
August 17, 2022
MY HEART GOES ASTRAY
Static in my heart sings a ring so strong
like an episode of sesame street gone wrong,
the world gone awry in a single cry awoke
evoked clouds linger in the pre-reminiscent pregnant air
five seconds ago on the web, I watched
Yellow red purple smoke rings cascade up from Cape Canaveral
Choked on enzymes fumes
in absence of love invades hate on the abyss a trend in fate,
an alias to convert a feather stroke to abuse with a lavender candle invoked
Skyrocket in sight with a socket in my cap.
Didn’t say it wasn’t love
The rhythm of the music moves my hands
Heros dead in a flash of smoke one last glare
Great curls of white smoke rise eyes tear
Life throws so many darts no way to know
Step smack middle in the midst watch them go
Lost glares silence stares me in the eye,
life isn’t fair you cry,
I never told you it was
an old theme renewed reneged turn your back,
go away little girl though that cunt tastes so sweet to eat
keep it away from me,
cause I’m dangerous.
I lie, cheat and go to war to get to eat what I want.
I’m so aware, King of the State of affairs between me and Britain.
Jews are lucky, we have a soul with an afterlife, not a hell.
Eat your sins for the glory shall be mine.
Got the fine for double parking, ate that too, a mighty tasty lugubrious morsel of time,
paid only one dime, was worth every cent, a one-of-a-kind find
white, pure, shiny granules of hope runs
Gotta meet fate at the corner of Doomston and Outta control genetic traits boulevard
The station gate at eight don’t be late, I set my heart on this chart.
I’m the bait. Worth the wait, good rate, not hatin’ I’m chillin'.
A breath of fresh mint, double-mint peppermint gum
Repressed a breeze in Iceland emigrated to USA,
reject from Liverpool, traded in Halvah for a day,
lost in the fleshiness of the moment I give my life away
August 16, 2022
Smoke that dream before I cream you
Smoke that dream before I cream you
I’ve got all my own mishigas too sufficient to sort through. Memories a life’s sake, a backache, earache filibuster, Monroe birthday zone, a black hole, don’t know where to go. A vagabond review, a Scarsdale Hebrew cemetery, morsel of dainty tastiness nastiness a black hole of madness no home to go to, a Hebrew Jew.
Stuck inside my head, a poet’s world, inspired to drive down dirty get high on some Thai stick, trying to get skinny on the sly, sounds tinny, the words stuck in my eardrums, tum de dum
Exhale poetry with scarlet U2 embolism demolishes dents an entire world out there me capsized in the cave in a mountain dew bats flapping in my head I breathe new scents for a few sense amillia, vanilla will do me fine.
Inhale Exhale, a little cheech and chong, put it in a little pill for me. I want to kill that roach, don’t encroach on my spot, shit I see you got your eyes on a brand new spanking spaldine, bounce da ballie, brand new – higher than that kite you want to make take flight.
Fire your ass off stop sass saw me in half. I wanna make some war in cognito infinito, vagabond report retort a torte a flamingo of golden gal glimmer if I offer you a drizzle of Acapulco gold.
If you only got sensimilla, with nice big blue green buds, a thai joint will bend me fine, ven aqui, pasa lo, share it, … please.
Don’t do me like that. My hand’s open – greed.
Give me some of that weed, I need some time to digest the rest but so far will take I'm not a lawyer. I’m a voyeur, not a destroyer, not part of the choir, I live in a temple excoriate licorice on my breath, a little violet lipstick, blissful Babel bagel babe of a comet a carnal cattle pick up your bustle and hustle along. Mazel Tov!
Damask cilantro, don’t ask, another whiff of that smoke, floating up from all that patchouli incense I use to mask the scent of that hashish oil mixed with opium.
Up in smoke it went, again and again.
February 10, 2022
Marijuana Escape from Blues
So very hard to face each day when so much sad
Engulfs me, makes me face my bad
My meds provide a space for peace
To feel some glad
Escape from being had
Raised in a bad way, rad I’m alive
Caught between my mom and dad
Born into a world of fate, hate surrounded me
Smoked at 14 laughed my ass off
Mary Jane helped me collect myself off the pavement
Days of wine and roses
Live in dreams – a haze of beauty made more magnificent with medicine
Wish I could do more, but I do all I can do and more
I’m a tad behind because of so much sad I’ve endured
A child badly clad, woe was me, carry the sad inside of me
Hard to let go of all the pain, now mental plus physical anguish
Relish Sativa, she helps vanquish my heartache
Heartbreak, tenderness, fear that runs through me
Dissipates my heartbreak, helps me deal with fatigue
Pain consumes me, seek respite with Mary Jane
Live inside my head my brain seeks wisdom delight
Seek relief from my condition in my flight of heavenly visions
Some call me an addict others call me sane, reliable, trustworthy,
I’m not a label, I’m human imperfect, not excuses
Weatherman said rain should flood today
Drown my sorrows, feel light
Feel together in my head
Wish I had a gravy train
Instead of a childhood disdained full of pain
Feel the Godhead in my head
Watch streams of rain pour down
Through my open windowpane
Smell the scent of rain,
Cannabis washes away my pain
The scent of rain
Drifts through my windowpane
Wash away my pain
December 6, 2021
God Bless
God Bless the day my mother was born
She birthed me to this life
God bless her cruelty taught me to survive
God bless the day my father was born
God bless my sisters though they refused to love me
Contrived to deprive love
God bless the stories they told to justify their hate
God blessed me to survive rape and abuse
God blessed me to strive to revive
Bruises and blues of my soul
God bless the day I was born in March of 49
Been in overdrive, overactive sex drive
All the drivel of conniving men
Who fooled me, jive as the shrine I’m in
God bless the universe
God bless the world
God bless the death of those passed
The births of those yet born
God bless my friends
God bless this virus that has killed so many and has so many more lives to take
God bless this planet where Covid 19 virus has thrived and survived
because of all our wrongs and rights
God bless that humanity has survived
God bless the animals that survive this cruel world and God bless the ones who suffer cruelty and deprivation at the hands of those God has already chosen to bless
Blessed to be alive, to arrive to survive,
Bless my grandfather and grandmother who foresaw the 2nd world war,
Who came to this crazy country for freedom WE stood for
At least Jews were not put in ovens over here
If not for them I would have never been born
Bless the Jewish race from which I was born
God Bless Native Americans, newcomers took their land, abused & misused them
Bought slaves all the way from Africa to work for free
Rich pay no taxes
Money calls to money
Entitlement’s here to stay, they have their say – they get their way plus don’t have to pay their way
We pay their way
Money only cares for more money
money doesn’t care about the suffering it causes
National genocide for Native Americans was irrational, ok for monied folk
They seek to divide to keep themselves in charge with all the money
Men seek control, domination – hurt innocent beings
Dominated by greed, Money can’t control the weather
Can it ever be different?
I hope for more
God Bless humanity’s fate!
Have faith in our youth is all I can say, let’s pray.
God Bless God Bless the day my mother was bornShe birthe...
God Bless
God Bless the day my mother was born
She birthed me to this life
God bless her cruelty taught me to survive
God bless the day my father was born
God bless my sisters though they refused to love me
Contrived to deprive love
God bless the stories they told to justify their hate
God blessed me to survive rape and abuse
God blessed me to strive to revive
Bruises and blues of my soul
God bless the day I was born in March of 49
Been in overdrive, overactive sex drive
All the drivel of conniving men
Who fooled me, jive as the shrine I’m in
God bless the universe
God bless the world
God bless the death of those passed
The births of those yet born
God bless my friends
God bless this virus that has killed so many and has so many more lives to take
God bless this planet where Covid 19 virus has thrived and survived
because of all our wrongs and rights
God bless that humanity has survived
God bless the animals that survive this cruel world and God bless the ones who suffer cruelty and deprivation at the hands of those God has already chosen to bless
Blessed to be alive, to arrive to survive,
Bless my grandfather and grandmother who foresaw the 2nd world war,
Who came to this crazy country for freedom WE stood for
At least Jews were not put in ovens over here
If not for them I would have never been born
Bless the Jewish race from which I was born
God Bless Native Americans, newcomers took their land, abused & misused them
Bought slaves all the way from Africa to work for free
Rich pay no taxes
Money calls to money
Entitlement’s here to stay, they have their say – they get their way plus don’t have to pay their way
We pay their way
Money only cares for more money
money doesn’t care about the suffering it causes
National genocide for Native Americans was irrational, ok for monied folk
They seek to divide to keep themselves in charge with all the money
Men seek control, domination – hurt innocent beings
Dominated by greed, Money can’t control the weather
Can it ever be different?
I hope for more
God Bless humanity’s fate!
Have faith in our youth is all I can say, let’s pray.
August 3, 2021
DRUGS ON THE RISE
DRUG PHASE
Living life in a daze
So many drugs create a haze
By now I know it’s not a phase
After all these years it shouldn’t faze me
Someone said, “It’s over a dozen years,
going through the same fears.”
Put your life in arrears
you should know it’s not a phase
“After all these years,
you should know it’s a way of life”
So should I stop trying now
After all these years
August 2, 2021
AMBER
AMBER
She melts in your mouth
like the hot resin of a ripened tree
The m's roll off your tongue poetically
absorbs sunlight and reflects moonlight
She has her own glow
Amber comes in many colors like a rainbow
Sometimes cloudy, sometimes clear
the color of honey
The ones with fossils are worth the most; it makes sense
Because skeletons are a big expense
Sometimes you see straight through her
A connoisseur of fragile glass
Shades of golden yellow to fern green to lime or orange
Amber is diffuse, her energy attracts
her words interact, it’s a fact
mellow yellow amber golden mellow tones
color range from orange peel to bittersweet to tangerine
controls your senses
Releases chemicals into your brain
every woman’s dream
Amber grounds your energies
Rules your naval chakra
using golden orange tools
she draws disease from your wounds
Cleanses your organs of poisons
Revitalizes your organs
The ancient gods burned her
The 3 holy ones revered Amber
Used in all holy and spiritual rituals
Her incense & jewels persist
And are still renown today
… How can you go wrong
if you choose her once she’s chosen you…
