Joy Leftow's Blog, page 3

ONE WRONG STEP AFTER ANOTHER

ONE WRONG STEP AFTER ANOTHER

 

My body follows my life like one big misstep

misstep physically and fall on my hip

Literally act out my psychological ailments

Overstretch my foot so much, it hurts I can’t walk

I lie on my ass, sit around and talk

On the phone – balk 

at all the empty phone talk

makes me feel dead instead of alive

Words are my bedrock, my life

Numerous iPhone chats, 

Facetimes, 

leaves me unsatisfied

No human caress causes distress, 

loss of eye contact, response is less

No touch, 

No hugs, nor kisses, just guesses of what we’re doing here

Most of what we humans discuss 

Encompass the squareness of our universe

Inspire, aspire to learn a new word today

To describe what I’d rather do

The new word is eumoirous, 

Someone who is lucky and happy as a result of being good

Unfortunately goodness doesn’t assure luckiness though I wish it did,

can’t do anything without you

Talking is so boring when you can find something to do

We wouldn’t miss nary a thing if we didn’t spend so much time

Chatting about useless things

When we spend our energy talking – we prevent our doing –

Get stuck, life is a trap of especially 

Unimportant time spent on inconsequential things

TV, radio, 

Talk is cheap 

Phone talk is contrived, minimizes 

Items in our daily life

Has nothing to do with anything 

If anything, assists with our living less 

Not more, I confess, my life’s a big mess

Prefer to focus on doing more not less

Observe, obsess, process and reassess

 

Spending Blues

 I GOT THE SPENDING BLUES DISEASE

 

PLEASE, please, I need to be at ease

I got the buy, buy, buy, disease

Like to put it on a freeze

Turn around like a sneeze 

Got a hold on me like trustees

Need to find another release

I know it’s not that old song, 

somethings got a hold of me, 

I know it must be love 

It’s this buy, buy, buy, disease

My self-control destroyed, spoiled by my unease,

Commands originated in my mind’s badlands, 

quell the urge please

 

I got the spending blues

So easy to do

Swipe out a card 

Got the distribution blues

Buy things I don’t need

Then got to give them away

Swimming in shit, like all greed

Buy shit I don’t need

What’s it all for?

 

Easy to give away everything I buy

Need money to eat and pay the rent

Not much more I need to buy

 

2020 Presidential Election Year

 2020 Presidential Election Year

 

This coronavirus is making me insane

Feel like I’m on another plane

Nothing left to gain and a lot to lose

Living like this the bane of my existence

Trump running a chain gang on our nation

Tough guy bully guy macho man image

Not charging social security taxes

Means social security at 65 out the door

Maybe they’ll see what they can’t see now

Chaos 

It’s plain to see, lying in wait in society

Need the key to unlock the gates

We’re heading from heaven to hell

It’s no game, president man forgot about democracy

Love and hate, not fate 

Trap people play reality TV

Play acting a banshee

Hey Joe

I aint got no birth serf-i-ticket on me now

United States of fucking America, is 

A new Trump Hitler Regime

Keeping my dream alive

Get rid of that National Security Act and our 

Patriot Act 

Give our nation a new theme

The vote is actual and factual but Trump can’t see

Where we can learn and be aware of the facts

Our government ransacked for the wealthy

While the poor remain unhealthy

Corporations stealthy 

Hey Joe

Make a motion to not be so emotional 

Scared to have premonitions

Want Joe to win

It’s a sin the way they abuse him

Can’t see Trump’s a has been who belongs in the loony bin

Keep myself busy listening to Beethoven’s violin symphony 

Hope the lynch pin doesn’t win

This aint mother fucking Berlin with a fucking wall

And don’t tell me Obama built the gate

He didn’t take children from their families

Losing our sanity on a fallacy

I aint got no birth serf-i-ticket on me now

Please God, don’t allow

Need to survive this somehow   

SEARCH FOR AN ENCORE

 SEARCH FOR AN ENCORE

 

My heart hits the sky for a wonderful guy 

Want to live in my dream

Let off steam, ride that moonbeam

Watch my love while we watch stars who strive to extreme, 

Love trees feed on earth and water

Feel like lamb to slaughter

New world’s just begun under one sun

Redwood forest, lakes, rivers run

No babe, I no having fun

Weak knees pervade, 

transcend dreams glide

I’m along for the ride

Economy, parsimony,

Slide into fear of this and that

World where dictators rule

my land and that land make the

world what is has become 

not a race to create except this situation demands 

My life cut in two, can’t figure out where to go or what to do

Pray from far away - pray for ourselves, pray for me, pray for you too, 

Will prayers help or is it an illusion to feed my ego?

Search for hope, only nightmares come

Despots worldwide care only about money, 

honey, listen; root of all evil

Sell they soul to the devil - to the devil they did

And all around us, who paid suffer 

for the devil, they pay, to do us this misery

Everywhere on earth suffer this malady.

Download synergy to keep up my energy

Synapses flicker, slicker than an unsolved nightmare

Behind a hidden door, no splitting hairs

Born to be me, you’re born to be you

None of us born free

So unwell, hurts to be me

Wish you could see how it feels to me

Wish you could be me, feel me the way I feel you

We all desire prosperity, fame, acclaim, money

Mostly to survive and thrive

speak truth in poetry, fascism far and widespread

Money don’t mean joy, sorry to say

Like rivers run to their source

Blood runs cold, not yet, my lord, not time to fold

Times running out, getting old, need others to carry on

Carry on, work for free; try to help humanity

Make our earth the sanctity, earths meant to be

Hallelujah for you, hallelujah for me if only we 

can build something to hope for,

we want to live our dream, just once before we leave

Please, Please, Please

 

THE WORLD THROUGH DAVIE’S EYES

  

THE WORLD THROUGH DAVIE’S EYES

 

Lying peacefully on my bed, 

         In his bed which is atop of mine

Lay Davie, my Peterbald Sphinx

         Buried beneath his blankets

                  Davie suddenly perked up,

threw this blanket off, 

         put his head up and kept it up, 

                   totally mesmerized 

         watching Michelle on TV

Listened to her entire speech,

Never resting his head down

 

Acts like he magically 

understands how important it all is. 

 

Isn’t that amazing? Davie, my cat,

Mesmerized by Michelle on TV

something in her manner, her tone 

Stylized speech, 

Beseeching America to be better, 

her voice, pleading with America

 

“BE Better America,” she pleads with us, loud and clear

Somehow, Davie, my cat, understands her 

Her tone, determination, her pleas 

Trying to help us understand 

Divisiveness increases pain and suffering

Not helped by clear acceptance of Racism 

Attacking our citizens peacefully protesting 

Failing to protect our most vulnerable citizens

Destroying access to clean water for money

Ignoring our country’s constitution to protect interests of big money

 

Michelle Obama demands America stand up 

Show the world who we are 

Show with our vote, our turn out,

Turn out even if you have to bring a blanket, food, 

Even if you have to spend the night too. 

Do it to ignite flames for justice and compassion

In our leadership

Please America, Leave chaos at the door

 

Michele’s voice captured David. She captured me too. 

CNN says of First Lady, Michelle Obama’s speech, “…an appeal aimed at the heart and conscience of every American who has watched the chaos of the last four years and yearned to make things right.”

 

Our moral tale of woe.

Stand up Americans, 

Show us your voices like you did in recent marches through the streets

Stand up American and show us who you want us to be

 

America showed who she was when innocent protesters were abused 

Shot with rubber bullets, gassed in our streets

I thank and praise all the people who stood up in America’s streets, and streets everywhere else too, 

Please America, I beg you too, 

Even though I’m not Michelle Obama and never could be in her shoes, 

I stand with Michelle and beg you too

            – Stand up and be counted, 

DO THE RIGHT THING AMERICA

Show ourselves and the world who America really is

I’m begging you, please

 

PLEASE                                            PLEASE                                            PLEASE

 

Come one come all, 

Let’ be the solution to the pollution, heal division, stop the degradation of our great nation and all its peoples, our principles, our people, who require compassion to survive, not division.

 

 

Forgive me for not knowing if this is a rant or a poem.

 

LIKE AN ISLAND

         

LIKE AN ISLAND 

 

I’m quarantined 

Learning to love my aloneness 

Not concerning ceremonious womanliness, 

Maintain a harmonious

Fighting to survive intolerance, tight fistedness of ruin, 

from our wealthy brothers and sisters. 

The poor give more than the rich

Poor pay bigger taxes, 

Trumped by our white house orange debacle 

Citizens dying from streptococcal

symptoms - live in mass pandemonium 

people blind like they’re on opium

sanctimonious created fraudulent-ness

intolerantness speaks loudly, devoutly, profoundly evil

worldly unrest and upheaval 

quarantine inside my abode 

carrying a heavy load

my body bowed

inability to unload

keep a heavy workload

dreading the latest episode

of color code, religious code,

hate showed – snowed in and about to implode

lifestyles eroding with each new foreboding 

will we ever overcome

see what we can become

if to love and tolerance we succumb

Problem is humanity too dumb

to embrace love and tolerance 

together we must overcome 

and not be overrun

till that day comes, beat my drum

pray to raise new awareness that love is everywhere

Love is everywhere

 

 

 

I FEEL

Like a light bulb in a dark room, about to burn out, 

Burn out in a fizz, or explosive moment puff of smoke, 

Like a campfire built at sunset burns out at sunrise

Eastern sunlight rays appear; 

Horizon alive with color’s flow 

My heart skips a city girl beat

Nature grasps at my heart with special sounds she creates

Heartbreak hotel still a go to

Every day, survive a new threat

Today it’s the pandemic

Next day worldwide protests

Proclaim Black Lives Matter

when we see George Floyd murdered 

because he had a fake twenty-dollar bill

culminate four centuries of wrongs

In the 90's shop owners slipped me fake twenties too

So if I were black I'd be dead

MD prescribes Miralax to cure my ills

Miralax made of plastic, don’t care to use

It about $, who can digest plastic

Plastic imagined good for intestines.

Prefer milk of magnesia to cure my ills

Holding all that shit in there really ain’t healthy

I’m surgeon of my own body and I know what suits my body’s needs

I’ve been living longer with my self than anybody else

So I think I know this body better n’most

Zonked out on fresh brewed coffee

Another poem births inside me

Feel another me emerging again

Anxiety spreads like a bloodstain

Who am I, am I who I want to be, 

Reveling in who I am as opposed to who 

I could be, hold me back or don’t, I won’t go, 

I refuse to be who I am 

Swallowed in a gumball, 

Society beats reverberate in my head

A new manuscript divides me

Like a light bulb in a dark room, about to burn out

My heart skips a city girl beat

STRIVE TO STAY ALIVE

I want to cry for my lost dreams. That house made of stone and glass with all wood inside the fame and fortune I never gained, the way my heart has been maimed my life tamed and bought at the corner store. Dreams estranged caught up in the buzz of busy bees living day to day in a maze on a pension fund Money I earned, not charity driving safe in the slow zone. No airs or golden chalices, standardized morphing of reality leave me to blaze on a hot day with no underwear. I fear for the living dead. Live in my head 
Less than half my dreams never come to fruitionbecause I’m not Annie Malone, neither is he change your tone don't use your phone while we're having this conversation I want to be a millinerTired of infighting, heart a siren, beats with desire Set the sky on fire, bring souls out of mire Stir the fires of loveIgnore the jive of each haze, the latest crazeAlways some new malaise Live like lostIn a moon phaseDo my best to stay alive and thrive

Times Brutality & Fatality

Tonight I'm yours for a moment in timeOur entire lives until this moment in time a paradigmBones cold, struggle to survive wintertime,Search for infinity Search for the high lineWinter ends, its spring again
Heart chimes sounds time Sounds of time can pass one by Airwaves, lives all on prime timeMake the most of tonight Tonight I’m yours for a momentTonight I’m yours for a second in timeDo what you want to me
You’re mine for a second in time tonight,You can do what you do to me tonightI’m yours for a secondI’m your onetime abyssA lifetime of obsessesEvery which way confessesI’m here to be your friend
Try to say I’m your enemy Because I don’t agree to see the way you doSay I’m not your friendI see all you do and saySemper our reality, set an appointeeTo serve your time instead of you
Our lives in filigreeYou chase the dragon treeEntered the lion’s denSmoke your opium todayLike back in the day 
Convince everyone except me That your words are the Holy see,You don’t fool meI see right through youI got the master key to your soul
Live our lives in a paradigmTonight I give myself freelyTonight I’m yours for a moment in time

COVID 19, CORONAVIRUS

This virus is really getting to meWonder if we’ll ever be freeThis virus is killing off so much of humanity More of the poor, not the bourgeoisieThis virus is insanityThis virus will not be containedbuilt a worldwide pain bloodstained this virus will not be controlled, it’s unconstrained and unexplainedthis virus rains down on humanityThis virus invades people’s lungsThe wealthy and famous get virus screeningsThe poor die in their bedssuccumbing to this virusGo uncounted in the dead This virus forces us to isolateWhen we can socialize, there’s no dateWe live on a global checkmateVirus created floodgateWe’re on a mandated quarantineThis virus has us on curfewExcept the moneyed fewCreates a state of anxietyVirus is rampant in societyKeep 6 feet away is what they sayAll we can do is prayThis virus makes us wash our hands till rawThis is something we never had to do beforeThis virus is invading my lifeBecause of this, I can’t see my wifeSiren’s wail fills us with strifeThis virus doesn’t stopLike waiting for the other shoe to dropRunning out of supplies, unable to shopThis virus has us scared to be infected No one wants to be the next one selectedThis virus makes me wonderHow we came to this blunderOur lives put asunderThis virus overtook the entire worldAll our lives, together unfurledLive in a crazy netherworld