Joy Leftow's Blog, page 12

Doggy Love Or Billie's Dog Rescue Blues

Billie’s Dog Rescue Blues:  Bluetry - #8
Billie’s blues on my mind tonightI’ve morphed into Billie singing my blues to her blues we are one Your protestations sink into my instrumentalsEverything’s easy to get on the Internet; you can get whatever you want to.
I’m a fool to want you, for heaven’s sake why am I in love, here’s a chance fall in love.
I race up the stairs to face closing doors #1 train, elevated. A second too late. For God’s sake, my breath jagged, voice barely whispers on exhale. A golden red-nosed puppy stands before me, jumps on the bench next to DubbleX. Eye to eye, dilemmas & sadness everywhere.
Dubblex says forget the train roars up the watches drama ensues. The dog shaking, wet & wary, pretty furry, seeking solace and warmth, temperature - 32 degrees. Train pulls in, dog runs for the open doors feels warmth, crevice between the platform & train. I see him go under the train. I grab him by the flesh on his neck; pull him away from the closing door. Another moment stolen from death. The pup whines, returns to the bench. My heart skips a Billie holiday beat.
This revolution will not be televised it will not put the shine back on your teeth. How bout the belt from my bag - I greedily grab it. Pup accepts collar attempts to climb into my arms again.
Kneel down Johnny, heel, his haunches pressed to my thighs, crouched beside him, clinches the blended holiness of earth and sky. Pressed to my chest, his tongue sweeps my neck. Paws bleeding raw - ice & sleet on the pavement.Let’s agree to be in love like a melody. Wet white snow falling huge flakes drop on my face. I can’t go where I want to.
Money you’ve got lots of friends crowding right your door, but when you’re gone and nothing’s left, they don’t come round no more.
I want to go back when things were changing. Now things are suspended or turning backwards. I don't understand. Race for faith, blood bath, Kent State massacre, more prejudice now then before.
Baby pit follows me whining. I bend to examine torn ragged paws, bloodied from standing in deep salted snow, blizzards outside the station. He covers me with kisses, dutifully remains still a second then jumps on my chest. Here, boy, Here. I crouch down he throws himself in my arms shaking.
Downstairs the token booth clerk says cops are on their way. My heart booms, a gut reaction, not my future. I hold red nose with my make shift collar. He pulls me he’s strong, his attention span like a child’s eye caught by mischief, his shaking visible to everyone. Cops show up, act afraid even when they see him sucking my face. The sgt arrives he doesn’t know what to do. Finally a cage from the station arrives. I take charge, tell them how to put him in there away from my caring arms.

I’m a fool to want you. A red nosed pit bull with tail & ears intact. Will they find a home for him? My heart sings collateral let freedom ring, life on a hinge.

WHAT IS POETRY?

WHAT IS POETRY?
I mix, match, and blend wordsUse verbs to describeWhen I writeWhat the fuck do I know about poetry?I wonder why it’s not as good as theirsThe ones who are consistently publishedAnd I examine the pile of rejectsI survive on poetry for sustenanceMy mind is like a sieve Thoughts buzz in and outBeen like this for as long as I liveRun through my mindMy mind and my heart intertwinedWith appointments and dates a blurConversations recalled word for wordAs they occur, ground up in a coffee burrDon’t tell me you don’t remember saying thatI hear your voice clear as day todayShames surrounds me, from a tarnished childhoodLike silver needing polishLive in a secluded fortressIn a palace protecting my soulHide away day after dayLike a rash, an allergy that has No place to go, like a prisoner Of my own demiseLike unpolished diamondGlow body and soul Flow with rhythm Hidden me emerges in poetryCourses through my veinsFrees me from my chains

CAT HAIR MESS

KITTY CATS STOP SHEDDING
Clean all day and still can’t Make this mess go awayPick up here, pick up there, Pick up everywhere,
Get this urge to purge
Feel a great surge of energyVacuum, mop, careful to reach every spotOn the floor, the problem at its coreIs cat hair everywhere, I abhorHair all over the floor, my clothesI can’t bear it anymoreI say a prayer thinking that will helpI swear it seems the more I clean the more hair spreads aroundI declare war and still can’t make a dentBuy special mops and dusters, I’m spent outAll I can do is vent about itNo matter how frequently I mop and dust,The cat hair increases instead of decreasesTry to make peace with all the hairAsk the cats to please cease sheddingBut apparently cats don’t listenMore difficult to get rid of than greaseIt’s even in clean clothes Inside my drawers, I adore my catsBut they shed on the bed, Even find cat hairs on my headCat hair all over the floor and meSpend half my day cleaningThe hair builds quickly I confess, Reappears magically causing me stressImpossible to make a dent in the messAfter all my efforts to dispossess
The hair remains nonetheless



Author's Note:
Sometimes people here for the first time tell me they are overwhelmed. I thought I'd make a few suggestions for those people on what to read with links.

For anyone here for the first time I recommend these poems below. You can click on each poem to be read the poem.

Spot Of Bleach

Tupelo Honey

Dead Long Ago

Twisted, A Sestina Of Love

I Sing The Blues For You Today

Heroes & Superstars - My Bob Dylan Story (All true too!)

Where Did The Day Go

So What, I’m Fat

I get fat, complacentI sit on my fat assWatched my catsAnd some good TVSat till I was nutty as a bat out of hellWhen one’s in pain – can yell Or pretend to feel well - do what I did to quellSat there, had a chat, ate a latke Behaved very eclat and got very fatEmbarrassed now to show my fat selfI put myself on the shelfBeing fat is like being accepted to a fraternityYou never asked to belong toFatism is allowed, society isOK to be prejudiced against fattiesI take off my hat to skinniesEveryone avoids fat peopleLike being attacked by plague of gnatsSo many pounds, lost and foundPromise to turn over a new leafThen I stray from after weigh inIt’s the bane of my existenceNot recognized as true diseaseI relay my sorrow, no headway Not as well known as ADDI convey my apologiesThink it’s the result of foul play Each Passover I prayOver and over again If only I lose 10 pounds I’ll be rolling in clover

Three Published Haikus by Bear Creek Haiku

Bear Creek Haiku published the following three haikus in their March Publication.

Figure Eights
Trees, white cotton cloudsFloat by, I sit, absorb soundsNature's noise abounds
City noise melts meSmelts me into submissionDoes silence exist?

Is This Love?
Strings pull at my heartA marionette Ping-PongTime to sing a song

Morning Routine
Miss morning javaLove my bittersweet coffeeWhat can take its place?

Spit Poetic Love and Life’s Shit Splits

Spit Poetic Love and Life’s Shit Splits
Be the love you want to giveGive love to live life Let love dissipate strife Let love give and get loveLove who you’re withIf you can’t be with whom you loveGive it all you’ve gotA pep talk on loveBe who you want to loveWish you’d stop shoving me awayA voice from above My true loveLive the love you want to giveBe the love you want to getSee love I giveGive love I getBe the love I seeGive the love I want to beCan’t control thoughts and feelings that come through meCan control what I do about themCan’t be who you expect me to beCan only be who I am
I am talking to the picture framer, Igball when artist lady interrupts my flow.Artist lady says to me, “Hey wait, you’re speaking about the artist guy, the one with the scars across his face.” Oh my, I say to myself in my head. Aloud I reply, “He’d be so angry to have you define him that way, ‘by scars that line his face.’”“How’d you meet?” asked Igball.“I went to meet him to watch him paint. Guards chased him away from the sidewalk where he painted. I wanted him to paint where he wanted to, and he asked me to speak to the guards. So I spoke to them to protect his rights.”“Another guard came to talk to me, not the one who’d chased Enrico away. He said, ‘I saw you earlier painting on the street when I came to work. I recognized you by your scars.’“Enrico went off. ‘You recognized me by my scars. How are my scars relevant to this situation? Now I know you’re violating my human rights.’ I didn’t see his scars. I looked into his eyes. His eyes looking back into mine mesmerized me. It wasn’t until the guard pointed them out that I saw his scars.”“Oh I do hope you won’t tell him what I said,” artist lady said, “I just wanted to identify him. He’s very beautiful.” She said, “Gorgeous, don’t get me wrong. Then I went home and cried all night.”I listened to her, looked in her eyes and died a little more inside.“You’d cry more if you were me,” I said.  “He has a mean streak. He told me, ‘Blame my parents who abused me.’ I want to report his father and mother for abuse but every state has different laws, and in Los Angeles, it’s too late to report. They got away with it. I hang out with him and he gets angry very easy, every little thing sets him off, becomes an offense. If he heard you now he’d get very angry like he did when the guard said he recognized him by his scars.”“Well, please don’t tell him,” she pleaded. I wrote it all here instead. Igball stared in my eyes and saw me, ‘the me’ who I feel I am.

Dream Love

Felix leans towards me, Stares deep into my dream Sweet almond eyesPresses his lips to mine Kisses my lips gently,Lips slightly apart Total eclipse of my art,My too-kind heart I was never smart in loveAnd attraction, men are an alien factionMy private eye –shy daddy mack, Always take him back
The second kiss, a photo in my minds eye I feel that kiss now See his face as though were today,Eyes lock in embraceHe bends his head toward meI raise my head, anticipateLost in one another’s gazeSays his one little phraseLike a photo, stays glued in my memory
One kiss so sweet; cherished reveriesMy Daddy likes no man who wants me And even he sang Felix’s praises“He really loves you,” he saysStamped, signed and delivered His face and eyes moving towards mine Gently press his lips to mine,See it as if it was two clear photos, Shown in two different angles
A photo I see with closed eyesEven if I were to be blind It will remain clear in my mindA sensory delight, exemplary levityA memory that never livedSo can’t surviveA dream delight withstands timeForever I see the photo in my mind

I won an award!!!!!!

I won an award from The Academia for my spoken word piece, “Gimmee Money.” Dubblex and I collaborated on the music for this. I wrote the words. Below is the list of winners in all categories plus a link to my song. I redid for the submission.  http://www.theakademia.com/winners4/ http://www.theakademia.com/february2016_bestsong_spokenword4.html                         This is what their judges wrote on the website. When you go to the website above -2nd link, you will see it plus right below you can listen to the song. 'Gimmee Money’ calls on shiveringly intimate spoken word talent and a funk-infused beat to leave a vital impression with the listener.'
Joy Leftow 

Bloody Sunday

When I told Robin I’d been recently hospitalized for intestinal hemorrhaging, she replied, “Age!” with an exclamation mark at the end. Death gets us all at the bitter end, gets me, all my friends, my enemies.Death claimed my best friendDeath follows me wherever I goAlong with age come thoughts of deathKnow it’s coming, just not when. Wonder when we’ll breathe our last breath. Realize mortality, no consequence if you lived slowly or fast Our bodies not meant to lastAll headed to the same ultimate destinationNo avoiding this destiny, the roads you can’t out travel or unravelEven those who last longSay a little prayer for meMeet their final demise, foe or friendNo one lasts, can’t outlive eventual age and then we find death or death finds us. Either way could meet us.
Death defeats all Death, our detonator, We are one subversive nation under a godless nationEach nation more fearless than the lastBent on our destructionLife a flamboyant dream – a mirror realityIntend to wake up, find a new realityBehavior more meaningful then worship Of a God who doesn’t see Look and See Fears within Domination cravings go both waysSomeone to lead, someone to followFor livelihood or familyNot all of us have a choiceLife and death are abominationsLive and survive in illusion, idealization, analyzation, expectations, and explanations.Nothing explains away inhumanity like fame and money combined
I want someone to get rid of our debt to China. Don’t want to live in the grace of their handouts and products we’re forced to consume, without knowledge of the cruelty involved in making them. I am tired of the cruelty of sweatshops where my crocs are made or clothes, tired of the cruelty in food production. I want someone to stop the pain, someone who will hear the poor’s pleas about healthcare.Someone to get rid of the lobbyists. As long as this system exists, the monetarists persist. I want a government by the people, for the people, including the selected protected wealthy beyond words, minority.We need a little enlightenment to destroy cruelty. Live like architects of ourselves, build from bottom up.Create a new society of enlightenment, form a government for the people, by the people. 

WINNING OR LOSING’S THE SAME

Always hear it’s how you play that counts.We gave up our rights a long time ago, So no wrongs, no rightsOnly moments in time matter,Impermanency, guts and bones, Blissfully my pains surviveExplain away foul overcast weatherUmbrella soaked through, Ignore gathering storm cloudsAll about who you know Who you think you know But each day you know less Care less everyday, careless. Someone cares, someoneSomewhere someone cares, Wonder whyPeople care about being right and winning. Refuse to see they’re wrong. Always someone else’s fault Deny it all! Losing is someone else duty, Whoever’s there is here to win, Can’t see their namesake beyond the cloud. God says, “Pray to me, I’ll pass your name through humanity. Fool’s gold, can’t win, can’t lose …So finite down to here we stand todayAdverse time flits around in my mind Believe we see eye to eyeFame and fortune, silver platters, Invest in harvesting DNA Imagine they’re alive In our planet’s new dawn, Part of a stronger race will survive and thrive.No one knows. Words touch, we make momentary contact. You feel you know me but I’ve never met you before. I feel it in my bones.
Earth embraces spirit. No one survives.Say, betray, survey, Afraid to eat tempeh  They say it’s good but soy is one of the worst MSG offenders I avoid.
Time promenades, afraid of no one, Time has no demise To pay the priceWe march alongside herPrisoners unwilling to be freeSing in her flow, sting in her flow, glow in her flowMy body aches as time marches through meLove courses through my veins Bane of dreams, misted breaths, Hurts hold on, Sustain in sequestered drawers in our mind Pull out to analyze sometimes, Sometimes leave the drawer closed Closed like a needle thrust deep into muscle,Drawers exist to open Opening and closing seasons, Allergic to time, sounds flit around in my mind Time is repugnantSensations stud me, prod and goad me Like I’m a goat in a herdThank God someone gives meaning to hatePreach love pounds pavement,  Only love can save usFollow like Roman slaves clawing to get in our graves
Oh Green, Green Rhapsody - I pray for phosphorescent mystery