Susan Piver's Blog, page 10

Info Session Recoding: Susan Piver & Michael Carroll Talk About Intensive Meditation Practice & Ordinary Life

Thanks to all who attended this info session about how a meditation retreat can shift how you live your day-to-day life.

To join Susan and Michael on a meditation retreat this summer, learn more and register for the Authentic Presence and the Feminine Principle retreat from June 26th – July 6th here.

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The connection between meditation and creativity

Dear, wonderful Open Heart Project,

Before today’s meditation, I offer a few thoughts about the connection between creativity and meditation. I find that one is very difficult without the other!

If you want to explore this topic further, please think about joining me in Austin, TX May 22-26 for a meditation and writing retreat. We’ll spend 4 full days practicing together and remembering who we really are beyond all the busy-ness of daily life. All the details are here.

With love,

Susan

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More than self-help, meditation is a path to love

Dear, wonderful Open Heart Project,

When the benefits of meditation are discussed, the word “science” comes up a lot. Yay! Love science! Thank you science for proving how awesome meditation is! Your data rules! 

However, this ancient practice is so much more than a life hack for less stress and more happiness (both of which are fantastic). It is actually a way to break down barriers between human beings. It is a way to meet others in their suffering. It is a path to love. 

Meditation breaks down the mechanics of love by emphasizing the barrier-busting power of attention. “Attention is the most basic form of love,” said the Zen priest and poet John Tarrant Roshi. “Through it, we bless and are blessed.” Of course, in our practice, this–attention–is exactly what we are working with. In this way, you could say, we are training our hearts to love.

Please have a listen to this short talk for more on how our practice opens the gates to love, ready or not.  💛

Thoughts? I love to hear from you!

With love, Susan

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Info Session on March 6th – Fearless Creativity: A Meditation & Writing Retreat

Thank you all who registered for this conversation about bringing together creativity and mediation on a retreat in Austin from May 22 – 26.

Registration for the Spring Sessions: Fearless Creativity: Meditation & Writing Retreat is open. Learn more here.

I hope to see you soon.

Love,
Susan

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Love After Heartbreak

Hello Open Heart Project,

Since The Wisdom of a Broken Heart came out, I’ve had the honor of speaking with many people who are meeting this incredibly difficult life passage with courage and tenderness. We talk about the endless waves of grief, fear, and rage and how one could possibly weather them. We talk about the valuable, hard-won heart opening that can arise. And invariably, we touch on the possibility of loving again. Many believe they will never be able to do so and, if the possibility arose, would never, ever be able to trust it.

When you know love can be lost at any time, how on earth could you try it again?! I’ve heard this question time and again. And time and again, I’ve sat down at my desk to see if I have anything useful to say because I really, really want to help. I’ve probably made a dozen false starts, trying to come at the question from all sorts of angles. Frankly, I did not come up with one thing worth saying.

Today I told myself I was going to sit in front of the computer until I could figure out what to say—because I know that it is possible to open to love again, even if your heart has been broken under the most egregious circumstances (which usually involve some kind of betrayal). It happens everyday. It happened to me. I’ve studied Buddhist teachings on compassion and wisdom and have every confidence they can teach you how. So why haven’t I been able to put something together?

Here’s why: All this time, I have been trying to figure out some kind of advice for how to leave your broken heart behind in order to enter a new relationship with confidence.

For better or worse, those two things—a broken heart and having confidence in love—are actually interdependent.

When most of say we’re looking for love, we really mean we’re looking for safety. When your heart has been broken, you realize that love can never be made safe and, in fact, efforts to make it so are related more to self-protection than opening yourself to the unpredictable, impossible-to-mandate waves of passion, confusion, joy, and disappointment that accompany love. To love, you have to be receptive, vulnerable. In fact, it is through vulnerability alone that we come by true love.

So in one sense, when your heart is broken, you are ahead of the game. It makes you permanently vulnerable and thus is actually teaching you how to love. You learn how deep your longing for love is, and how much you have to give. You realize that love is by far the most important thing in your life. Your heart is not just broken, it is broken open and so you feel everything—your own joys and sorrows, but also other’s, unquestioningly. These attributes make you uniquely, outrageously suited to love—if you can learn to stabilize your heart in this state of openness. The traditional practice of loving kindness teaches you exactly how to do this. Please try it and see how it works for you. It is the balm that soothes all wounds.

Plus, there is one thing that makes it absolutely certain that you will be able to open to love again. That thing is love itself. When it comes to you, from you, through you, it is unmistakable. It chooses you, you don’t choose it and, like it or not, you open, unquestioningly.

Of course, there is no telling how it will all turn out (there never, ever is), but when love is present, it quells outer, inner, and secret obstacles and you are reminded that your heart is absolutely indestructible. Over and over, it can refill with love on the spot. It never forgets how to do this. Love is the rising tide that lifts all boats, those of despair and those of shame, of rage, of terror, and of longing—to cast them once again upon the waves, heading who knows where, you and your beloved along for the ride. This is how it works. I have no idea why…

So definitely do your work: Explore the nature of your wounds. Develop methods of extreme self-care. Extend the hand of kindness to yourself as you work though these overwhelming emotions. Please do this for yourself. And as you do, don’t worry about how you’re ever going to open to love again. Love itself will do the work for you.

In the meantime, here’s what you can do to help: Relax. Relaxing here means stepping off the self-improvement treadmill and, instead of trying to change yourself, allowing your feelings to be just as they are without attaching a narrative to them. Make room for them and what you now consider as obstacles will reveal themselves simply as facets of wisdom. The practice of meditation is exactly this act.

And here is a good rule of thumb. When in doubt, sorrow, or despair: do less. Over and over, accept yourself on the spot. From this gesture of gentleness, great space opens and your deepest wisdom arises to guide you. This is guaranteed.

With love,
Susan

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How our practice can help with a broken heart (Part 3)

Dear, wonderful Open Heart Project,

I have three basic suggestions for how Buddhist wisdom can help with heartbreak. Two weeks ago, we talked about the first step which involves figuring out how to work with your racing or clouded mind. Last week, I made suggestions for working with the overwhelming energy of the heart. This week, I share some thoughts about how heartbreak can introduce us to a deeper way of viewing life that leads to more vitality and a greater capacity to love.

Thoughts? I love to hear from you!

With love, Susan

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How our practice can help with a broken heart (Part 2)

Dear, wonderful Open Heart Project,

I have three basic suggestions for how Buddhist wisdom can help with heartbreak. Last week we talked about the first step which involves figuring out how to work with your racing or clouded mind. This week, I make suggestions for working with the overwhelming energy of the heart which, when shattered or upset, overflows with heat and intensity. It turns out that these qualities, while in no way pleasant, have great utility for meeting your own pain and the pain of others with love.

I hope you will find this of benefit. Please let me know what you think–it is always so valuable to hear from you.

With love, Susan

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How our practice can help with a broken heart (Part 1)

Dear, wonderful Open Heart Project,

Many years ago, I wrote a book called The Wisdom of a Broken Heart about how Buddhist wisdom helped me with my own broken heart. I get emails and messages about the impact of this book more than anything I have ever written. I am gratified to know it is useful. (Last year, I updated the audiobook version because I own those rights. I wanted to update the book with some of the things I’ve learned over the last decade and also include some meditations. You can find it here if you’re interested.)

I have three basic suggestions for how Buddhist wisdom can help with heartbreak. Of course, no one has to be a Buddhist to derive benefit from them. In this video, I share some thoughts about the first suggestion (the subsequent videos over the next couple of weeks will contain reflections on the other two).

I hope you will find this of benefit. Please let me know what you think—it is always so valuable to hear from you.

With love, Susan

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Four ways to react to the situations we encounter

Dear, wonderful Open Heart Project,

Hello, I hope you are well and finding sources of peace within yourself and around yourself.

Did you know that within the OHP there is something called the Open Heart Project Sangha? We explore a different theme each month and recently that theme was something called the Four Karmas which describe four different ways to relate to the things that happen to us. It provoked a very interesting conversation and so I wanted to include you in it via this short talk.

Love to hear from you! Let me know what you think!

With love, Susan

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This post is a little different–it’s about me and how I became a meditator

Dear, wonderful Open Heart Project,

Thank you so much for being a part of this amazing, beautiful meditation community. Together, we are building something very special–a meditation community based on dharma without dogma. 

Over the years, some of you have expressed an interest in my personal journey: how I came to the path, what motivated me, and so on. Before this week’s sit, I share some of that story which involves accidents, coincidences, and, mostly, incredible good fortune. If you are interested, great! If you are not, great! Please jump ahead to the meditation at the 19:38 mark. 

With love, Susan

PS My talk mentions this book and this extraordinary teacher.

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