Susan Piver's Blog, page 13

Author Event with Nikhol Atkins

It was a genuine pleasure to hear from author, meditation and yoga guide, activist and all-around amazing human, Nikhol Atkins and to explore her new book, Book of Boobs: A Visual Journey Through Breast Cancer.

I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did.

You can learn more about Nikhol’s book and purchase your own copy here. If you have questions for Nikhol, you can email her here.

Thanks to all who registered for this author event. Looking forward to more great conversations in the future.

Warmly,
Susan

The post Author Event with Nikhol Atkins appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Working with strong emotions (plus some questions for you)

Hello, Open Heart Project. I hope you are well and finding ways to be joyful and kind (to yourself, others, the planet).

This video suggests three ways we can work with so-called negative emotions. There are so many all over the place! It can be very difficult to figure out how to work with rage, fear, and, perhaps most dangerous, apathy. I hope you find something useful in the thoughts I share. It is very important to find ways to work with your mind so please use the 10-minute meditation as you wish.

On another note, I am really interested to learn more about you.

The Open Heart Project has grown and changed so much over the years. When I started it way back in 2013, I had some sense of who was involved and why you may have signed up for these emails. It was so much smaller.

I’d love to hear from you. If you would take a moment to respond to few questions, that would be wonderful. You can find them here.

Many thanks!

With love, Susan

The post Working with strong emotions (plus some questions for you) appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

How to take enlightened activity in a crazy world

I know we are all thinking about what we can do to help the world. I mean, what else could possibly be worth thinking about? The crazier the world gets, the more I feel both ashamed of my personal concerns and also cling to them as particularly meaningful. Because the world is so incomprehensible, I take refuge in what I think I can control. Sometimes I become so full of despair!! I don’t need to list all the reasons to be sad, angry, and scared, we all know what they are. Now what? And how on earth could meditation be helpful?

When I encounter the sorrows of this world, I most often take one of three responses, none of which are very useful. 

One, I collapse into depression and anxiety. UNHELPFUL. But sometimes necessary. 

Two, I try to shut it all out and go about my business like, “well, what can I do about all this, I’m just one person and plus I’ve got problems of my own.” TRUE. But also complete bullshit.

Three, and perhaps most dangerous, I allow myself to be filled with rage and then minimize all ordinary concerns (my own as well as yours) as juvenile, naive, not worthy of concern and the only thing that matters is how hard I am fighting the power. On some days, this is true. But it often compels me to divide the world into two very dangerous categories. The first one is called “us” and the second one is called “them.”  Such divisions are behind all forms of violence, whether personal, societal, or planetary. Think about it.

How can I respond effectively? How can I avoid becoming hopeless, hopelessly self-centered, or, worse, adding to the aggression that created the problems of racism, injustice, intolerance, and climate calamity in the first place?

According to Vajrayana Buddhism, there are four enlightened actions we can take to create true transformation. They are usually best done in order but sometimes they seem to all happen simultaneously.

These four actions (also called the Four Karmas) are:

Pacify.

Enrich.

Magnetize. 

Destroy (or Let Go, if you prefer).

Today, let’s focus on the first karma, to pacify. 

To begin with, pacifying has nothing to do with calming down, reframing problems as so-called opportunities (vomit), or even trying to find a way to settle your heart by arriving at a particular conclusion, whether hopeful or hopeless. (Sometimes thinking “WE’RE SCREWED” is the only calming thought. For some strange reason.)

Pacifying begins with opening. Feeling. Sensing. Allowing. Seeing clearly. We all have problems (big and small) that we’d rather avoid. Tremendous energy goes into such avoidances. I speak from personal experience. The more I turn away from my heart, the more exhausted I become. The less energy I have for good work. The more hopeless I feel. However, when I take even the smallest internal step to acknowledge the truth of how I feel, while the first moments may be weighty and terrifying, almost immediately they are followed by a return of energy. I am in truth. Integrity. Alignment. Whatever crazy word you prefer. Shit gets real and real is always preferable. 

So, the first step is to soften and allow circumstance to touch us in a way that provokes a genuine, deeply felt response. But, you may be thinking, this is dangerous. You will see the terror of this world, there is no question. It is correct to feel afraid.

So why risk it?

Because an open heart also means this:

You can be touched and therefore see clearly.

You are receptive to others and can help them.

You are able to help from the energy of your heart, not your mind/theories/best practices. 

For everyone, everyone, it is the act of helping that creates a meaningful life. Everything else is fleeting, only being of service creates meaning. That’s how it works. I have no idea why.

But before we get all martyr-y, let’s look at what “helping” actually is. It sounds like it is committing to a life of sacrifice and drudgery. It isn’t. It’s the opposite. Committing to a life of service is committing to a life of joy, wakefulness, and love.

This looks different for everyone. We each have our unique mission of helpfulness. There is something that only you can do for this world. Do you know what it is?

It may look like showing up during disasters with money, food or clothing.

It may look like being the one person in your family or community that everyone can turn to for advice, solace, or support.

It may look like caring for all the animals in this world—or even just one.

It may be working to fight climate change in the world and/or your own backyard.

It may look like becoming a parent, priest, teacher, social worker, therapist, body worker, or any other kind of being who connects directly with individuals to make their lives happier or support them to overcome adversity.

It may look like devotion to anything you take on as an art form—be it painting, writing, gardening, knitting, cooking, playing music, cutting hair, or any other work that depends on opening to inspiration and being guided by it. Your art form may be leading an organization, heading a department, practicing law or waitressing or accounting. It’s all in the way you open to it.

It may look like practicing the art of any science to the depth of your capacity, whether it’s medicine, astronomy, software development, engineering, architecture, and so on and so on.

And so on.

The amazing thing is this: What you do that turns out to be most helpful for others is also your unique gift and thus most helpful to you as well. What you do to help is synonymous with discovering your gift and thus it is your path. And, as we know, whether it’s been a good or a bad day, when you’re on your path, you are joyful. Engaged. Authentic. Open.

So, be yourself. Offer what you already possess as deeply as you can and that will turn out to be the best possible thing for this world. And then keep doing it. Do it more. You could start right now. You could make a plan every single day for how you will offer your gift. Big ways. Small ways. Just always is the key.

For now, ask yourself: What opens my heart? Pay attention throughout your day to what touches you and what shuts you down. What does it feel like or how do your thoughts change when your heart is open? When it slams shut? Don’t try to change anything at first…just notice. You will figure it out. And remember: If you want to change the world, open your heart. That is why this is called “The Open Heart Project”, by the way. It has basically nothing to do with new age bullshit or being positive (double vomit). It is actually the path of warriorship and it begins with pacifying (aka opening). With this as a start, we can move on to enrich (add something of value), magnetize (draw advantageous circumstances), and, my personal favorite, destroy (let go, conclude, move on to what is more powerful).

And in the meantime, contemplate the 7 Signs of Open Heartedness (made up by me).

The sorrow of other people touches you. So does their joy, equally.Inspiration knows how to find you and you are not a stranger to enthusiasm.You are polite to everyone yet are not a doormat.You know yourself without shame (“I suck”) or aggression (“I deserve to feel this”).You see the sadness. You cry a lot.You see the humor. You laugh a lot. You understand the importance of balance and can actually see what is funny, ridiculous–most especially about yourself. You have figured out the difference between taking care of people vs caring about people. (This is a big one, y’all.) (Actually, they’re all big.)

Feel free to add to this list (and, if you do, share your thoughts with me).

And please note: The support for opening your heart is the practice of meditation. It teaches us to slow down. Open. Receive. See beyond preconceptions. Feel. Don’t take my word for that. Or anything. Try it for yourself and make your own discoveries. Here is a 10-minute sit for you to use right now. 

For more on the Four Karmas, please listen to this short talk from Her Eminence, Mindrolling Jetsün Khandro Rinpoche.

PS: Once, long ago, I was going to attend a talk Khandro Rinpoche was giving but as I sat waiting for it to begin, I realized I was getting a terrible migraine and would have to leave, regrettably. I walked down a narrow staircase that I knew led to the outside. Just as I was walking down, she was walking up. She locked eyes with me for the merest moment and it was strangely one of the most terrifying and joyful experiences I’ve ever had. It was the first time I experienced what, I think, it is like to be in the presence of someone who is actually awake. Terrifying Joyful. (I guess I just heard her talk, I thought to myself.)

Please remember: to change the world, open your heart.

“The times are urgent; let us slow down…Slowing down is losing our way—not a human capacity or human capability. It is the invitations that are now in the world-at-large, inviting us to listen deeply, to be keen, to be fresh, to be quick with our heels, to follow the sights and sounds and smells of the world.” –Bayo Akomolafe

I hope this is of benefit to you.

Love,

Susan

The post How to take enlightened activity in a crazy world appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

How to cultivate a consistent meditation practice

Audio only version is here.Meditation practice begins at 10:32

Hello, dear meditator. How are you? I hope you are well and feeling happy.

Basically everyone I have ever known finds it difficult to be consistent with their practice and, further, basically everyone thinks this is because they lack discipline. I suggest that this is probably not the issue. Before today’s sit, I explain what it may be.

Love, Susan

PS: If you’re seeking community to bolster your meditation practice, there are a variety of opportunities to receive support in the Open Heart Project through retreats (including this one about Buddhism and the Enneagram in Austin, TX this October), courses (like this one I’m teaching online with the luminous and brilliant Crystal Gandrud) and of course seated online meditation practices, special webinars and daily email guided meditations and more when you join the Open Heart Project sangha. All of our offerings are designed to serve everyone on their meditation journey. I hope to see you soon through any of these events.

The post How to cultivate a consistent meditation practice appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Meditation Practice: 3 Steps into the Sacred

Audio-only version is here.
Meditation practice begins at 11:59.

Dear Open Heart Project,

I know that meditation is counseled as a way to de-stress, develop greater powers of concentration, and get a better night’s sleep. All true! However, it is also a path to true, lasting joy. All we have to do, at least from time to time, is jump off the self-improvement treadmill to instead rest with ourselves exactly as we are. It turns out that this is the most expeditions route to freedom from suffering.

In this video, I share with you three very important (and simple) steps you can take to keep your meditation practice in the realm of true transformation rather than yet another self-improvement hack designed to make you feel inadequate.

As always, I love to hear your thoughts! How does your practice feel to you? Did self-improvement get you here (like so many of us)?

With appreciation and love, Susan

P.S. I’m hosting a meditation retreat in October where we will explore how Buddhism and the enneagram create the create the kind of magic that wakes us up to who we really are. Don’t sleep on this one! Spaces are limited. Find all the details here.

The post Meditation Practice: 3 Steps into the Sacred appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Traits of the Awakened Mind, Part 3: Power

Hello wonderful Open Heart Project,

We’ve discussed two of the three aspects of the awakened mind—compassion and wisdom. Today I’d like to offer just a few thoughts on the third quality—power.

When we think about the quality of power, I’m sure many things come to mind. Some are positive—the certainty of a strong ruler or the beneficence of a saint. Some are not so positive—the authoritarianism of, say, teachers or bosses, or those who have influence over us due to wealth, beauty, or position.

However the Buddhist view of power has nothing to do with becoming a ruler or a saint (not that there is anything wrong with that), nor is it about authority, influence, or control. The Buddhist definition has more to do with the ability to see clearly.

This superpower is the quality of precision. The very definition of power here is the ability to cut through delusion and see clearly. When you are around someone who can do this, you can feel their power. It doesn’t come from yelling or storming about or tripping out on you in some way. It comes from their ability to know themselves, turn toward you, look into your eyes, and see you. The magnetizing property of clear seeing cannot be overstated. This is the power we seek, are drawn to, and that leaves us feeling naked and vulnerable on one hand, and completely, finally at home on the other.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen imagery of so-called “wrathful deities” in Buddhist iconography. These are the beings with multiple heads, fangs, wrapped in animal skins, perhaps clutching skulls or gyrating within a circle of flames. They are quite fierce and ready to fight. Their enemy? Ignorance. When you are being ignorant, they attack. You. When ignorance attempts to attack your mindfulness-awareness, this energy can be counted upon to attack on your behalf.

Power comes from synchronizing mind and body, over and over, from moment to moment. With such an effort the three forms of ignorance: passion, aggression, and delusion have no way to gain hold. And when you are free of these three poisons, there is nothing left but power.

Know that as we practice meditation, as we continuously place attention breath and synchronize our mind and body, we are also making a connection with the source of pure power and the tremendous well of energy that stokes it.

Where have you witnessed true power in your own life?

Love,

Susan

The post Traits of the Awakened Mind, Part 3: Power appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Protected: Info Session Recording for Buddhism & The Enneagram, August 2023

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

The post Protected: Info Session Recording for Buddhism & The Enneagram, August 2023 appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Traits of the Awakened Mind, Part 2: Wisdom

Hello Open Heart Project,

According to Buddhist thought, the awakened mind has three qualities. The first is compassion. The second quality, wisdom, is the topic of today’s post.

When it comes to what it really means to be wise, it’s easy to posit all sorts of definitions from really, really smart to deeply insightful to maybe simply being old and thus knowledgeable from experience.

Buddhism certainly has many definitions of wisdom and one of them is this: the ability to see beyond concept to the way things really are. Moment by moment, perception by perception, we let go of our judgments, opinions, and projections—which seems impossible, I know. Still, we have each had moments where we have been able to grasp the clear, empty, luminous, still, vast space that lies beyond our conventional minds.

One such glimpse came to me after I first moved to Manhattan some years ago. I moved to NYC for a job and found a totally cute and very tiny apartment near Union Square. I loved my job, loved, loved, loved NYC, and my apartment felt snug and safe. One problem: I couldn’t sleep. Every time I lay down, I tuned into the constant buzz that is almost inescapable in Manhattan: the hum of traffic, the blare of sirens, the beep-beep-beep of trash trucks, and on and on. I tossed. I turned. I wondered how anyone could possibly sleep through this. Friends assured me that you get used to it, but after 7 or 8 nearly sleepless nights, I was pretty doubtful.

One night, totally exhausted, I lay in bed, restless and teary. As anyone with insomnia knows, sleep doesn’t come from pleading and stressing out. I tried to lie still. Instead of attempting to block out the sound, I just gave up and let it wash over me. In that moment, I noticed that there was something going on besides noise and that was silence. Underlying the noise was an unchanging bed of silence. I trained my ear on the silence rather than the noise—and fell asleep.

Now, I don’t know much about absolute wisdom, but my hunch is that it has something to do with tuning into the space and silence around your thoughts and concepts rather than refining your thoughts and concepts.

Wisdom and compassion are inseparable. They are actually twin manifestations of the same thing. On a relative level, this means that wisdom is not wisdom when compassion is not also present (it is simply intellect) and compassion is not compassion when wisdom is not also present (it is some kind of foolishness). On an absolute level, the union of wisdom and compassion is nothing more or less than our true nature, the silence that gives rise to all sound and the space that exists between all thought.

Our meditation practice is the way we cultivate a connection to this profound wisdom. As we sit, we practice letting go, over and over, thought by thought. When we space out, something comes from somewhere, completely fresh and utterly spontaneous, to say, “hey, come back.”

We can trust our practice, implicitly and completely. Wisdom is as omnipresent as space itself. To see it, all we have to do is relax.

How do you experience the way compassion and wisdom are intertwined in your own life?

Warmly,

Susan

PS: As an indication of how much I love Manjushri, allow me to share with you my badass tattoo which is Manjushri’s seed syllable, “DHIH”:

The post Traits of the Awakened Mind, Part 2: Wisdom appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Traits of the Awakened Mind, Part 1: Compassion

Hello Open Heart Project,

According to Buddhist thought, the awakened mind has three qualities.

Although I’ve said many times that having goals for your practice is a bad idea, I’m now going to suggest that there actually are goals and they are to realize these three qualities. However, the path is not accomplished by conventional means. Interestingly, these qualities arise spontaneously when we let go of our other agendas, no matter how well-thought out.

Meditation is, of course, the path.

The first of the three aspects of the enlightened mind is compassion.

Compassion is often confused with soft-heartedness. We might think that compassionate people are super sweet and always feel sorry for you. However, there is nothing sappy or weak about true compassion.

Compassion is an expression of the greatest strength. You are so confident that you can allow the sorrows of other people to touch you.

It is a gesture of bravery. You are so fearless that you can extend yourself to others.

It is an act of joy. You are able to connect, heart to heart, and, as far as I can tell, there is no other source of joy.

Some people might call this vulnerability, and it is. But here, vulnerability is synonymous with pure warriorship.

At the same time, it is extremely, heart-breakingly ordinary. We have all had the experience of compassion at some point in our lives.

I want to share a story from my book, “How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life.” It remains for me a visceral experience of compassion.

When I was a little girl, my father taught me how to fly a kite. We were on the beach in Atlantic City and I was running up and down with my kite. I was so happy—the connection with the sky, the love of my father, the feeling of mastery. At one point, though, the kite got away from me and blew out to sea, higher and higher. I ran after it as hard as I could. I chased it until it was completely invisible. I was heartbroken, devastated. If you’ve ever chased anything that moves away from you on the wind and into another sphere (and I’m sure you have), then you know how shocked and hopeless I was. I remember the loss until this day.

One other person also remembered it to the end of his life—my father. Many, many years later, somehow the day of the lost kite came up and he called it one of those moments in his life that pierced his heart the most. He never, ever forgot the look on my face. He watched the kite fly out of sight, too. He longed to get it back, too. He would have done anything, anything to get it back for me. My sorrow was his. My loss was his.

My father didn’t have to stop and think, “Oh, my little girl has lost something that brought her happiness. I feel sad for her.” He didn’t have to do any math, like, lost kite + no hope = unhappy child, thus: I feel sad. There was no gap between my feelings and his, my experience and his, my loss and his. They were the same.  This is what compassion is. It is spontaneous. It arises as love and pain, mixed together, exactly 50-50.

If you have children, I’m sure you already know about this and, on behalf of all daughters and sons, I thank you. Know that this is the state of mind our meditation practice is urging us toward and which the great beings of this world, the meditation masters, saints, yogis, and enlightened ones feel for beings, on the spot, without thought.

How, you might ask, do they not fall apart completely? It is so terrifying to be this open and this vulnerable. Well, yes and no. The opposite is actually the terrifying option and our meditation practice, fortunately, thankfully, teaches not only how to open our hearts, but how to stabilize within the open state so that every time we are touched, we are not also knocked down. Instead, we are strengthened in our resolve and ability to be even stronger in our vulnerability.

This is true strength—the ability to remain soft and open under all circumstances, not just in those that are made to order.

I’d love to hear your stories of true strength—what comes to mind when you imagine a time you witnessed or exhibited strength?

Love,

Susan

The post Traits of the Awakened Mind, Part 1: Compassion appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

The Four Immeasurables: Equanimity

Audio-only version is here.
Meditation practice begins at 5:59

Hello there,

This week, we review the last of the four immeasurable qualities: equanimity. We’ve already spoken about the first three: Loving kindness and Compassion and Sympathetic Joy.

The final “immeasurable” is the all-important equanimity. The first three have a very distinct sense of warmth while equanimity can convey something cooler—which is perfect. Please have a listen to hear more.

Sending so much love. You got this.

Love, Susan

The post The Four Immeasurables: Equanimity appeared first on The Open Heart Project.