Susan Piver's Blog, page 6

How our practice can help with a broken heart (Part 2)

Dear, wonderful Open Heart Project,

I have three basic suggestions for how Buddhist wisdom can help with heartbreak. Last week we talked about the first step which involves figuring out how to work with your racing or clouded mind. This week, I make suggestions for working with the overwhelming energy of the heart which, when shattered or upset, overflows with heat and intensity. It turns out that these qualities, while in no way pleasant, have great utility for meeting your own pain and the pain of others with love.

I hope you will find this of benefit. Please let me know what you think–it is always so valuable to hear from you.

With love, Susan

The post How our practice can help with a broken heart (Part 2) appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

How our practice can help with a broken heart (Part 1)

Dear, wonderful Open Heart Project,

Many years ago, I wrote a book called The Wisdom of a Broken Heart about how Buddhist wisdom helped me with my own broken heart. I recognize that so many of us are feeling heartbroken right now, whether it shows up as sobbing, rage, numbness, or all of the above.

I get emails and messages about the impact of this book more than anything I have ever written. I am gratified to know it is useful. (Last year, I updated the audiobook version because I own those rights. I wanted to update the book with some of the things I’ve learned over the last decade and also include some meditations. You can find it here if you’re interested.)

I have three basic suggestions for how Buddhist wisdom can help with heartbreak. Of course, no one has to be a Buddhist to derive benefit from them. In this video, I share some thoughts about the first suggestion (the subsequent videos over the next couple of weeks will contain reflections on the other two).

I hope you will find this of benefit. Please let me know what you think—it is always so valuable to hear from you.

With love, Susan

The post How our practice can help with a broken heart (Part 1) appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Election Day Loving Kindness Meditation

Today, close to 200 people gathered together to work with the energy of their hearts to bring benefit to this world. The practice of Loving Kindness is tailor-made for bringing everything we feel–love, fear, rage, sorrow, hope, hopelessness–to our meditation. There is no need to get rid of negative thoughts and have only so-called positive thoughts. Doesn’t matter! All are welcome! You can be outraged, terrified, even full of hate. You can be as unforgiving as you like.

There is only one thing you can’t do: Imagine that you are any different that who or what you hate. When we carve the world into “us” and “them” we all lose. Period. This practice helps us to remain within the realm of “only us” without ceasing to fight the good fight.

Please have a look/listen and see how it works for you. Let me know in comments. I always love to hear from you.

Love, Susan

Audio only is here

The post Election Day Loving Kindness Meditation appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Only non-aggression defeats aggression

Hello, excellent Open Heart Project practitioners. As we approach what may be an extremely tumultuous week here in the US and elsewhere, I wanted to share again something I posted a few months ago in the hope that it will support and strengthen you.

I’m reflecting on a time I posted this message to social media: “What if we never chose sides? What if we chose to care about each other?”

I knew as I was posting that this would make some people mad because nothing angers people more than suggesting non-aggression. (The blog post I wrote that received the most negative and enraged comments ever was called “Compassion for our Enemies.”) People immediately think, We should, ought, must take sides against and fight. how can I have compassion for Hitler or child abusers or puppy kickers? These are things we should, ought, must take sides against and fight. Of course, they are right. But they are wrong to think that compassion means condoning these things from some navel-gazing woo-woo new age (bullshit) perspective. Or that I’m simply a coward, a big baby, or both. Compassion is for suckers, they believe.

Actually, compassion is a sword of power. I mean, enemies are real and we must fight them with our whole hearts. However, when we fight what we hate by trying to summon more vitriol and hostility than our enemy, we always, always lose. The entire scope of recorded history is my witness. It takes far more courage to work with our feelings of rage than it does to hide from them by acting them out.

When we look underneath rage, we will find a wall of sadness and grief.

There is so much to be sad about in this world. Because it is so uncomfortable, we immediately want to turn sadness into what we imagine will hurt less: anger, hopelessness, helplessness. When the wish to help is rooted in anger, it will only create more confusion. And of course, when we feel hopeless or helpless, we take refuge in non-action, which also creates confusion.

When we allow sadness, action arises from love.

I believe that sadness and the willingness to feel altogether are the antidotes to the hatred and degradation in our world. All the things we abhor were committed by people who were hurt and didn’t know what to do next. They may have been unable to feel their (very, very justified) pain. Some pain is too much to bear. We need help. It may sound trite, but it is true. Therefore, when we develop some capacity to feel, we also develop the capacity to restore our world to sanity.

Be brave. Be sad.

Please practice non-hatred. Please practice solving rather than winning. Please practice taking the first step toward love. You can do it. I know this because it is what you practice each time you sit on your cushion (or chair!!) to meditate, each time you pick up your journal, and each time you allow your heart to break open to this world.

Keep me posted.

Love,
Susan

The post Only non-aggression defeats aggression appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Finding power and confidence during an insane time: 4 suggestions

It seems we are in a time of heightened anxiety and fear–and for very understandable reasons. Most suggestions and techniques for calming yourself focus on altering your inner state by various means. Makes sense! But this is often not enough. In this week’s video, I make some suggestions from my Buddhist training about creating an environment from which you can draw confidence and strength. This way you are not always thrown back on yourself for better and better ideas about how to quell anxiety–you can draw strength from your world. Have a listen and let me know what you think.

With love,

Susan

PS The Open Heart Project sangha is a community within the OHP. We practice meditation together every day (whether live or via a recording), check in with each other on Fridays, gather for webinars and conversations about how to live our most awakened lives. Very, very helpful during this time of stress.

Please join! It would be great to see you there.

The post Finding power and confidence during an insane time: 4 suggestions appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Loving Kindness Meditation for Hurricane Victims

Our hearts continue to go out to those affected by the devastating hurricanes across the East Coast. One way I know I can be of help is to practice loving kindness for all those impacted by the storms.

Our sangha gathering on October 4th practiced loving kindness for hurricane victims. Here is the recording. May our practice be of benefit.

Love,

Susan

The post Loving Kindness Meditation for Hurricane Victims appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Four actions to help alleviate anxiety

I hope you and yours are well! As we get closer and closer to the US election, anxieties and tensions are bound to rise. We are in a state of divisiveness and fear. It is hard (impossible?) not to fall prey to sorrow and frustration.

I wish I could tell you that Buddhism had some solution to all of this. It does not. However, it does offer a teaching called the “Four Karmas” which gives us four very clear options for meeting the moments of our lives with something beneficial. 

When I think of the outcomes I hope, wish, long for, my mind becomes heavy and fearful. When I think, what can I do right now to increase sanity, my energy returns. When my mind is in the future, all I feel is my powerlessness. When it is present, I see options and thus feel empowered. The Four Karmas offer us four choices for planting seeds of goodness.

I hope you find this useful! That’s the whole idea! Let me hear your thoughts if you’re so inclined.

With love,

Susan

PS The Open Heart Project sangha is a community within the OHP. We practice meditation together every day (whether live or via a recording), check in with each other on Fridays, gather for webinars and conversations about how to live our most awakened lives. Very, very helpful during this time of stress. Please join! It would be great to see you there.

In the face of all the challenges of today’s interconnected world, is optimism about the future of humanity idealistic? Perhaps it is. Is it unrealistic? Certainly not. To remain indifferent to the challenges we face is indefensible. If the goal is noble, whether or not it is realized within our lifetimes is largely irrelevant. What we must do, therefore, is to strive and persevere and never give up. -The Dalai Lama

The post Four actions to help alleviate anxiety appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Compassion fatigue and being loving while also angry: it’s possible.

I hope you are well and safe. If you are in a region impacted by recent hurricanes, my heart goes out to you and I hold you in my practice. I know that doesn’t change or fix things, but it’s true nonetheless.

This morning I got an email from one of you asking for some thoughts on compassion fatigue. First thought? It’s real. There is so much strife and sorrow and so many people, it seems, who hold tight to beliefs and wishes that we know are ridiculous at best and dangerous at worst. How to keep caring when all of this is true? How to avoid cutting people out of our hearts while also remaining true to ourselves? What is self-care in a time of rage? We are all exhausted right now–now what?

These are among the most important questions you can ask right now. In this video, I offer some thoughts (including a story about my own ridiculous behavior) that I hope will help you. 

TL;DR: the antidote to compassion fatigue is sangha. Community. You. Me. Us. I’m offering a free month in the Open Heart Project sangha, beginning right now and lasting through election season. There are many opportunities to practice, discuss, and just hold space together. This is the best way I know of to stay sane, balanced, honest, and energized–without cutting others out of our hearts completely. All the details are here. If you run into any problems registering, just email us. 

With love and faith in the three jewels, 

Susan

 

The post Compassion fatigue and being loving while also angry: it’s possible. appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

How is it possible to practice during a time of stress and anger?

Dear, wonderful Open Heart Project practitioners,

May all beings discover their inherent sanity and decency. 

Although it may sound improbable, meditation is a direct conduit to such qualities. It introduces space between what we think and what we do, how we feel and the conclusions we draw about self and other. Truly, the world is in need of people who know how to work with their minds–not as stress-reduction or in order to get a better night’s sleep (both of which are awesome) but to be of benefit to this world. This is why the Open Heart Project was created to begin with.

Over in the Open Heart Project sangha we are spending the entire year on the topic of spiritual practice IRL. If you have any interest in joining, please check it out. It would be great to see you there.

In today’s video, I talk a bit about the #1 most difficult task for spiritual practitioners: how to express loving kindness for those we may hate. (Spoiler alert: you don’t have to forgive anyone or excuse anything…) Please have a listen to learn more.

With love, Susan

The post How is it possible to practice during a time of stress and anger? appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Loving Kindness Meditation for those impacted by Helene

Yesterday, the Open Heart Project sangha gathered to practice loving kindness for those impacted by Hurricane Helene. Posting her in case you would like to practice. This is a great example of what a sangha can do when times are difficult. Thank you, OHP sangha. I love you.

The post Loving Kindness Meditation for those impacted by Helene appeared first on The Open Heart Project.