David Vienna's Blog, page 183

At the same festival where Wyatt tried his hand at...

At the same festival where Wyatt tried his hand at hatchet-throwing, Boone tried to rope himself a fiberglass calf.

Though his form was good, his aim left something to be desired… Namely, a roped calf.

Bullseye

I mentioned Wyatt did a hatchet-throwing thing. We were at a western-type carnival. I also mentioned that the guy running the hatchet-throwing thing had a freshly damaged eye covered by a bandage, which I thought added an extra bit of realism to the whole thing.

Anyway, the boys wanted these bow-and-arrow sets for sale at the carnival. I told them they were cheap and would probably break within days. Also, the arrows were wood and I foresaw some injuries happening. I didn’t want either of them to end up like the guy running the hatchet-throwing thing, y’know, with a damaged eye or something. So, I suggested we go get Nerf bow-and-arrow sets because they were probably more durable. Plus, Nerf is soft, right? No injuries.

We headed off to the the toy store, where we all decided: Screw bow-and-arrow sets, we want Nerf dart guns instead. So, we all got awesome Nerf dart guns that shoot safe Nerf darts.

Then, we went home and had a massive battle in the courtyard, during which I accidentally shot Boone in the eye.

And so, the circle of life was complete…

Don’t worry, he was fine. He was actually laughing the whole time. But still, I almost made my son a pirate. Though, the upside is I would’ve guaranteed him work as a carny.

Sometimes, you have to let your kids attempt dangerous things...

Sometimes, you have to let your kids attempt dangerous things like, say, throw a hatchet at a target.

(Fun side-note: The guy running this activity had a freshly applied bandage over one eye. Authenticity!)

We had the last meet of the track season. And in the last race,...

We had the last meet of the track season. And in the last race, Wyatt pulled ahead to come in first. Awesome way to end the season.

"Papa, can you put on ‘London Calling?’"

“Papa, can you put on ‘London Calling?’”

- Boone (age 7) proving I am the greatest parent ever in the history of everything

Perchance To Dream

thedaddycomplex:

I don’t mean to brag or anything, but my boys both slept all the way through the night last night. Let me explain to the non-parents out there the many reasons why this is momentous beyond the reasons you can correctly assume, the first of which being my guys are fucking awesomer than any other babies anywhere.

When people talk about a baby sleeping through the night, they actually mean a 6-hour stretch. That is a milestone for every baby and parent, especially after months spent getting only 2 hours of sleep at a time. The first time our boys slept 6 hours in a row, uninterrupted, I woke up with such a sense of euphoria, I felt like I’d just eaten a plate full of pot brownies while huffing a can of Krylon Semi-Gloss Black.

Another reason this is momentous is my guys are just 9-months-old. From what I hear, many babies don’t actually sleep all the way through the night until they are much older. And for parents, it’s probably even later. Like 18 years.

And finally, the really great thing is, even though Wyatt and Boone are very different — I mean they’re taking this “We’re Fraternal, Not Identical” thing way too far — they both slept all the way through. Not a peep from either. Their sleep habits, in fact, are pretty much the only thing they have in common. That and shockingly active bowels.

I was going through my archive of posts and thought I’d share this one again just for the phrase “shockingly active bowels.”

Guys… Reese Witherspoon just shared a graphic made by...

Guys… Reese Witherspoon just shared a graphic made by your friend and mine, tumblr parent @mammalingo. Holy crap!

Me doing my best Bill Murray from “Stripes.”...

Me doing my best Bill Murray from “Stripes.” (Courtesy of @buzzfeedparents)

Me and @how2beadad are drinking at @buzzfeedparents. For science

Me and @how2beadad are drinking at @buzzfeedparents. For science

Me and @howtobeadad are drinking at @buzzfeedparents. For...

Me and @howtobeadad are drinking at @buzzfeedparents. For science