David Vienna's Blog, page 187

davidvienna:I’m mean I’m happy and all, but c’mon.(via)

davidvienna:

I’m mean I’m happy and all, but c’mon.

(via)

There needs to be a "go the fuck to sleep" for parents

rgbringingupbabyb:

rgbringingupbabyb:

Like :

The baby and the husband softly snore, the doggy warms your feet

Yes the garage is closed, yes the doors are locked, no you didn’t hear a noise

Now go the fuck to sleep

The moon is high and time ticks by while on Facebook you scroll and creep

No there aren’t any updates from 5 minutes ago

Now go the fuck to sleep

The baby is sleeping sweetly in his Jammies and he doesn’t make a peep

You know that kid will be up at the crack of dawn.. You must love feeling tired! Oh you don’t? Then seriously… Get thee. The fuck. To sleep.

Feel free to add verses

Your eyes are getting heavy, your phone battery is weak.
Quick- get the cord! God help you if the low battery noise wakes your husband…
Wtf are you doing up past midnight anyway ? Go the fuck to sleep

An owl slowly hoots outside and the spring peepers peep. Oh what the hell now I’m hungry. It’s too late to eat anything, that’s what happens when you stay up so late. Please just go the fuck to sleep!

Tomorrow will be another day to conquer that laundry heap. Shit! I think there are clothes in the washer, how long have that been in there? One more night won’t make a difference at this point, now go the fuck to sleep

Cars whiz by the house, there’s that douche with the loud ass jeep. Fuck you man, no one thinks you’re cool, I’m trying to go the fuck to sleep

Watching videos with no sound makes you a little bit of a freak
What the crap is wrong with your brain? Turn it off! turn it off! and go the fuck to sleep.

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The stupid fitbit finally updated, you’re on a two day streak! The likelihood of making it to the gym decreases more every minute that you don’t go the fuck to sleep.

This is so good. Add your own verses, people.

sizvideos:How kids play Star Wars - Full videoI saw this...

sizvideos:

How kids play Star Wars - Full video

I saw this gif set and was all…

“Sure, guys, you can go scootering in your pajamas....

“Sure, guys, you can go scootering in your pajamas. We’ve got no one to impress.”

davidvienna:To counter the disturbing news of the recent...

davidvienna:

To counter the disturbing news of the recent terrorist attacks, how about some less bad news? Cuban president Raúl Castro makes a bold promise and Donald Trump offers a job to a total stranger.

Your news in, like, 90-ish seconds. Watch. Learn.

When I Send The Boys Upstairs To Get Ready For Bed...

…and they start playing some idiotic game instead.

Wyatt Attempting Potty Humor While Holding His Stuffed Owl Upside-Down

Wyatt: My owl has his butt in my face!

Boone: Nice job, owl. Keep it up.

kaylasroses:This is Tumblr in a nut shellTumblr Dads:...

kaylasroses:

This is Tumblr in a nut shell

Tumblr Dads: Ruining our children with jokes since 2007.

Just moderated a panel at the San Luis Obispo International Film...

Just moderated a panel at the San Luis Obispo International Film Festival featuring these very cool people. #SLOIFF

Upon Seeing A School Bus Pull Into The Chuck E. Cheese Parking Lot...

Wyatt: No fair! They get to go to Chuck E. Cheese.

Me: There are no kids on that bus. It's just the driver.

Wyatt: No fair! He gets to go to Chuck E. Cheese.

Boone: Look, he's just going through the parking lot to get to that other road.

Wyatt: No fair! No one gets to go to Chuck E. Cheese.