Evil Editor's Blog, page 373

New Year's Resolution 3

I had just returned home from my daily visit to the Marble Slab Creamery for my three scoops of ice cream mixed with crushed Oreos, chocolate chips and bacon bits, when I happened to catch sight of myself in the mirror--or at least that portion of myself that would actually fit within the confines of the mirror, said mirror being approximately the width of my bathroom door, upon which it hung.

I was as startled by the size of my abdominal region as I had been the first time I noticed I was ba...

New Year's Resolution 2

Hmmm...let's see...

Okay okay okay yeah; resolutions for the year. Resolutions. Res-o-LU-tions...

What year is this, anyway? Because lately they've all kinda blended together, so...yeah. 2010. 20-10. Two thousand and 10.

10.

Crap.

Crap.

Crap.

Shit.

Fucking hell. ALREADY? It's the 10 one al-READ-y?

All right, here we go. My two undying Res-o-LU-tions. Or well, at least undying until the point of my resolve is met.

First I want to be published. Well, I mean, I want my novel to be published - so...

New Year's Resolution 1

"Look at that majestic man!"

"What are you talking about?"

"His majestic beard! Look how people hand him money without requesting any services in return! He must be of royal descent, and he humbles us with his presence."

"Are you seriously on drugs right now? That man is homeless. He's panhandling for Christ's sake."

"Jesus Christ! Yes, he was bearded as well."

"Your pupils are huge."

"I shall embark on a beard-growing quest! Defeat Gillette's six-bladed dragon, one blade cunningly hidden on the ba...

Saturday Film Series

Writing Exercise

What's your New Year's resolution? Figure it out. Then write a scene that ends with you making your resolution. MINIMUM WORDS: 100; MAXIMUM: 200. Deadline Sunday. 10 AM eastern. No sappy or serious resolutions, please.

2009 Face-Lift Awards

The votes are in, and here are the results:

4th Place
Spats, Traps, and Possum Fur Hats

3rd Place
Resonance

2nd Place
Hybreed Rising

1st Place
Don't Forget the Death Ray


Click the label below to see the results from previous years.

2009 Cartoon Caption Awards

I gotta start doing cartoon awards quarterly. There were dozens of great ones. The field was narrowed, the minions voted, and here are the results:

5th Place
Caption: Mother (Re)produces


4th Place
Caption: Whirlochre


3rd Place
Caption: Anon.

2nd Place
Caption: Stacy/Anon.

1st Place
Caption: Anon.


Anonymice: If you want credit for your captions, let me know.

To view previous cartoon awards, click the label below.

2009 Guess the Plot Awards

It would be too much work to choose the best individual Guess the Plots, so we honor the best complete sets.


3rd Place

The Lesser Species

1. Cows have had enough. It's time to knock humans to the bottom of the food chain.

2. Aliens land on earth and refuse to communicate with humans. Strange gases start coming out of their ships, killing any human who comes near them. One scientist realizes the chemicals in the gas are pesticides, and the aliens are carrying tanks full of the stuff to rid the Ear...

2009 New Beginning Awards

Each year we honor the best work of our continuation writers. The minions voted, and here are the results:

5th Place
Lord Verenth

4th Place
Slubka

3rd Place
Train Wreck

2nd Place
As You Know, Bob

1st Place
Job Chart


Click the label at the bottom of the post to see the results from previous years.

Cartoon 547

Caption: Steve Wright

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.