Edward Hoornaert's Blog, page 62
February 4, 2017
Effing Feline never admits guilt
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.
I, Effing Feline, refuse to admit any wrongdoing. It’s the Russians’ fault. Maybe the Chinese. They must’ve hacked my account. Trust me on this!
You see, every once in a while I’m willing to obey the rules and include the information about Weekend Writing Warriors that I’m supposed to — but I haven’t done it for ages. So here goes:
Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, the weekly hop for everyone who loves to write! Join us to share an 8 to 10 sentence snippet of your writing on Sunday. Your post needs to be live between 12:00 noon on Saturday 02/04/17 and 09:00 AM on Sunday 02/05/17. Visit the other participants on the list and read, critique and comment on their 8sunday posts.
This omission is absolutely not my fault. I am a cat, which exonerates me from any culpability for any and all wrongdoings, omissions, or torn drapes.
Today, I chose a selection from The Trial of Tompa Lee, the first science fiction novel that my pet human, Ed, ever got published, nearly 12 years ago. In cat years, that’s … well, forever. Although Trial has strong elements of romance, it isn’t SFRom. Here’s the very opening.
They’d started without her, the maggoty cockroaches.
Tompa Lee tried the door handle again. Locked. Clenching her fists, she glared at the sign on the door of the K Deck mess hall: Briefing in Progress Do Not Enter. How dare they flickin’ shut her out!
After a moment, though, she slowly stuffed her anger into hiding. Sailors in the Commerce Space Navy didn’t lose their temper.
But it wasn’t her roach-damned fault she was late. No one had told her about the flickin’ briefing.
Effing Feline here again. Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.
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The Trial of Tompa Lee was originally published in hardcover by Five Star Science Fiction; after the rights reverted, it because the first book I ever self-published. Twice it has risen to number two on Amazon’s sci fi/space fleet list — but never number one. Sigh.
A WOMAN
Tompa Lee is a homeless ‘street meat’ who has clawed her way up to the bottom-most rung of the Space Navy . . . but her dream job plummets into a nightmare when she’s framed for mass murder on an alien planet.
A MAN
Dante Roussel is the Navy policemen who surrenders Tompa to the Shons . . . but he is horrified to learn that they require a trial-by-combat, so Tompa faces three hundred accusers.
AN ALIEN
Awmit is an old, lower-class Shon who is the sole witness to Tompa’s innocence . . . but to prove it, he must find the valor and strength to fight and die at her side.
AN UNFAIR TRIAL
Can Tompa learn to trust and love not only a member of the alien race that wants to slaughter her . . . but also the cop who betrayed her to cruel alien justice?
The Trial of Tompa Lee is currently free, so this is a great time to make it your own:
Amazon | Canada | UK | Australia
Apple iBooks
Smashwords
Barnes and Noble
Kobo Books
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Finally, my most recent book, Newborn, is available at a reduced price during Patty’s latest cross promotion.
February 2, 2017
SFR Brigade Showcase — Keys to Me
Welcome to the Science Fiction Romance Brigade’s first showcase of 2017. Once a month the brigade’s authors highlight snippets from new work, WIPs, cover reveals or other fun things.
Science. Fiction. Romance. Three words that are keys to who I am.
Key 1: Science
[image error]Although I love learning about the universe, I’m not a serious science geek. I subscribe to Science News but read only half the articles. I used to subscribe to Scientific American, but read way less than half.
In my science fiction, I’ve come up with only a couple of sorta original ideas (although that’s not to say others didn’t think of them first):
“The Jungian Extension” — The idea that Jung’s Collective Unconscious would be vastly more powerful on a world of telepaths. In The Trilogy of Tompa Lee , the natives consider Tompa a goddess — and their belief gives her startlingly godlike powers.
“Tugships” — The idea that incoming spaceships should be escorted to safe docking. Freewheeling ships, traveling at torpedo speeds, are a recipe for disaster unless they land perfectly. In Constellation XXI , tugship pilot Sienna fights to control a runaway freighter headed straight toward the space station where she grew up.
Key 2: Fiction
Sometimes, I can be really dense. I was nearly 40 before I realized I was a creative person — even though by then I’d been playing oboe in orchestras for half my life. Looking back, how could I not have realized my fundamental nature? Dumb, dumb, dumb.[image error]
Indicative of my self-ignorance, my first books were non-fiction programming books for children. As I came to realize I needed to create or die, I finally turned to fiction.
Initially, I wrote contemporary romances for Silhouette books because my wife suggested that “anyone could write one of those.” Yes, she actually said that.
Key 3: Romance
I married my high school sweetheart a week after graduation. We’re still together. We’ll reach FIFTY YEARS when this decade dies and oh my God I’m getting old.
[image error]By any measure, our marriage has been better than most. That alone qualifies me to handle love stories with HEAs, but I also prefer Jane Austen movies to superhero flicks. I’m a guy, but I’m a romantic.
So it is that romance shares center stage with science in my SFR’s such as the Alien Contact for Idiots series or the Repelling the Invasion series.
Even in my science fiction that doesn’t quite qualify as romance, such as Future Love or The Midas Rush, love is usually a primary motivation.
****
There you have it — my writing career has been a voyage of discovery. You can launch a discovery voyage of your own by checking out the posts by the members of the SFR Brigade.
January 28, 2017
Effing Feline loves pink
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.
I, Effing Feline, thank you for your suggestions regarding songs about cats. I am now prepared to reveal my new favorite cat song. Because I am, of course, a powerful, heroic puss cat, I have not restricted myself to songs about domestic shorthairs. My new favorite is . . .
Are you ready?
It’s a song I’ve heard Ed, my pet human, playing. It is . . .
The Pink Panther.
Today is the last snippet from Ed’s Constellation XXI for awhile. Closer to the release date later this year, you’ll see more. Tugship pilot Sienna has learned that the captain of the freighter she’s supposed to guide safely to Farflung Space Station is none other than her first lover, whom she’d betrayed to the authorities. Here she’s about to see him face-to-face for the first time.
Bracing herself, Sienna prepared to face her fate with dignity. She deserved anything Crispin might do.
“Sienna,” he cried as he wrapped his arms around her and drew her into a hug.
Anything, that is, except a hug. Didn’t he know what she’d done to him?
No, he didn’t know. Her secret would remain hidden; the status quo would endure. But then hope vanished and was replaced by emptiness as frigid as outer space…because the status quo in her heart would also endure.
Yet her secret’s survival was something to be grateful for, right? This mission mattered more than her heart, and the mission would be easier if Crispin didn’t want to kill her.
Effing Feline here again. Because I love it so much, here’s the Pink Panther theme.
Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.
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The first two books in the Repelling the Invasion series are:
[image error]The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station
Space pirates think they’ve succeeded in invading Farflung Space Station — but they didn’t count on Sandrina. The attractive young waif has discovered so many of Farflung’s secrets that she’s the most powerful person on the station … though nobody knows it yet.
They’re about to find out.
Amazon
Escapee[image error]
The African Queen in outer space
Catt Sayer just wants to survive. The working-class fugitive delivers military supplies on her decrepit airship, but her hard-won livelihood vanishes when invaders overrun her harsh moon. Now an idealistic, upper-class officer wants her to risk her life on a hopeless voyage to attack enemy headquarters – manned by 10,000 soldiers.
Amazon
January 21, 2017
Effing Feline is, of course, priceless
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.
I, Effing Feline, have been talking about music lately. Today I’d like to discuss one of my favorites, How much is that doggie in the window? The common misconception is that it’s about a cute little puppy.
Wrong! It’s really cat propaganda, designed to subtly convince humans that canines like Twiggles the dog can be bought and sold like cattle. Only a stupid, ignorant person would ever ask this question about felines, of course, because we cats are valuable beyond any price!
Today, another selection from Constellation XXI, which will be released later this year. Sienna Dukelsky pilots a tugship in charge of guiding incoming freighters to a safe docking at Farflung Space Station. In this snippet, she learns that the ship she’s about to guide is captained by her long-lost first lover, a ‘bad boy’ whom she’d betrayed to the authorities years ago.
The comm unit crackled to life, audio only. “That you, Evening Star?”
Huh? Evening Star?
Her full name was Sienna Vesper Dukelsky. In one of Earth’s ancient languages, Vesper meant evening star, but nobody had ever called her that, except for—
“Crispin?”
“The vastly same man, love,” Crispin Hunt said in a teasing voice that hadn’t changed in six years. Six years in which she’d changed completely. Six years in which she’d fervently hoped never to see him again.
Effing Feline here again. If you don’t know the song How much is that doggie in the window, here it is:
You agree with me and all other cats about the relative value of priceless felines and mere dogs, right?
Not to threaten you or anything … but let me repeat the question. You agree, RIGHT!?!?!?[image error]
Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.
January 19, 2017
I feel marvelous, and I wanted to share the feeling
I actually feel good today. Really good. My body glows with a sense of well being.
And that’s notable because? you ask.
Because it’s the first time in over three months. I’d never heard of sepsis, but now I know it’s a nasty, debilitating disease with a long recovery time. But still … it was, in a way, almost worth it to glory in this marvelous, almost-forgotten sensation!
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The author in Bruges, Belgium, just before he fell ill.
January 14, 2017
Effing Feline sings heroic songs
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.
I, Effing Feline, talked about my least favorite music last week, but I never got around to sharing my favorites. I don’t have many, and I’m sure you can understand why. Most songs are about people not cats, which is ridiculous, and to make matters worse, music playback devices are all designed for human hands, not cat’s paws.
I greatly prefer heroic song about felines like The Lion Sleeps Tonight. Just the other night I yowled it five times through while thinking of the Siamese down the lane, and I did a marvelous job of it.
Today, another selection from Constellation XXI, which will be released this year, though the publisher has not yet set a date. Sienna Dukelsky pilots a tugship in charge of guiding incoming freighters to a safe docking at Farflung Space Station — but her brand-new ship has suddenly lost all power, even backup power. From there, we segue back to events leading to the power failure.
P.S. There’s no tyrannosaur in the mess hall. Sienna used the tyrannosaur metaphor in last week’s snippet because her long-lost first lover (whom she’d betrayed to the authorities years ago) awaits in the mess hall.
Earlier that morning…
Sienna’s big day had finally arrived. Excitement fizzed like champagne through her veins, but she ruthlessly popped every little bubble.
“Step thirty-eight of Monitoring Hyperspace for Incoming Ships,” she said in the cool, forceful tone of a spaceship captain rather than her real voice, which was too gentle, too feminine, too darned nice. She coughed, cleared a salty taste from her throat, and continued: “Upon reaching alpha position, turn on gravitational-wave sensors.”
No one answered, of course. She was alone on the DA387 for the first time.
She thought a sequence of colors to enter command mode. She would’ve preferred flipping switches with gratifying clicks, but DA387 was a Thought Ship, with a limited array of manual controls. It had been delivered only two months ago with every bell and whistle, costs be damned.
Effing Feline here again. What are your favorite songs about cats?
Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.
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The Repelling the Invasion series
[image error]The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station
The space pirates think they succeeded in invading Farflung Space Station — but they didn’t count on Sandrina. The attractive young waif has discovered so many of Farflung’s secrets that she’s the most powerful person on the station … though nobody knows it yet.
They’re about to find out.
Amazon
Escapee[image error]
Catt Sayer just wants to survive. The working-class fugitive delivers military supplies on a decrepit airship, but her hard-won livelihood vanishes when invaders overrun her harsh moon. Even worse, an idealistic, upper-class officer wants her to risk her life on a hopeless trek to attack enemy headquarters – manned by 10,000 soldiers!
The African Queen in outer space
Amazon
And coming soon … Constellation XXI
Sienna Dukelsky’s unglamorous job is to guide incoming freighters to a safe docking at Farflung Space Station. But when aliens with a startling secret seize control of her tugship, Sienna’s job suddenly becomes the most important in the entire galaxy.
January 7, 2017
Effing Feline hates violins
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.
I, Effing Feline, have gotten e-mails about my favorite music. Well, actually I haven’t … but I should have. Don’t you people out there have the good sense to be guided by my tastes?
My pet human, Ed Hoornaert, recently signed a contract for a third book in his Repelling the Invasion series. If you missed last week’s peek at the opening of Constellation XXI, Sienna Dukelsky pilots a tugship in charge of guiding incoming freighters to a safe docking at Farflung Space Station — but her brand-new ship has suddenly lost all power, even backup power.
Sienna fumbled through tarry blackness for an emergency torch. With her fingertip, she clicked a compartment open. Good, good; now feel over toward the left.
There! Pressing the end of the torch, she was rewarded with light, blessed light. The beam’s shadows transformed the bridge into a grotesque parody of safety, but she could see again, and as long as she could see, she could do…
What? In five years as a flight cadet and three years as a tugship apprentice, she’d memorized over a thousand pages of procedures, but there was no procedure for handling a total shutdown. No procedure for a tyrannosaur from old Earth materializing in the mess hall, either. Both things were impossible.
Effing Feline here again. If forgot to tell you about my musical loves — but because I’m a fussy cat, I’ll tell you my musical hates, instead. Violin music played on catgut! What else?
Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.
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The Repelling the Invasion series
[image error]The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station
The space pirates think they succeeded in invading Farflung Space Station — but they didn’t count on Sandrina. The attractive young waif has discovered so many of Farflung’s secrets that she’s the most powerful person on the station … though nobody knows it yet.
They’re about to find out.
Amazon
Escapee[image error]
Catt Sayer just wants to survive. The working-class fugitive delivers military supplies on a decrepit airship, but her hard-won livelihood vanishes when invaders overrun her harsh moon. Even worse, an idealistic, upper-class officer wants her to risk her life on a hopeless trek to attack enemy headquarters – manned by 10,000 soldiers!
The African Queen in outer space
Amazon
And coming soon … Constellation XXI
Sienna Dukelsky’s unglamorous job is to guide incoming freighters to a safe docking at Farflung Space Station. But when telepathic aliens with a startling secret seize control of her tugship, Sienna’s job suddenly becomes the most important in the entire galaxy.
December 31, 2016
Effing Feline yawns
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.
I, Effing Feline, got excited when Ed Hoornaert, my pet human, said today was the start of a new year. Wow, I thought. None of the same old same old cat food — fresh salmon every day. A new bed — with a built-in radiator. And most importantly, no more Twiggles the dog![image error]
But no. To dumb humans, ‘New Year’ means nothing more than flipping a calendar page. It’s enough to make a cat yawn with boredom! If Mr Valentine (as Ed is known) would only let me out of the house, I’d catch a bird and flip that at him.
Oh well. A new calendar page, a new book from which I pull snippets. Ed recently signed a contract for a third book in his Repelling the Invasion series. Constellation XXI is set on two spaceships, one of which is eponymous. (I know some fancy words, don’t I?)
Here’s the book’s opening.
Have you heard about that idiot, Dukelsky? On her first solo flight — the first one! — the dumb Cherry ruined one of our newest, most expensive tugships.
That’s what people would say, and the truth wouldn’t dent their gossip.
“No,” Sienna Dukelsky growled into the darkness that had invaded every nook of the ship, a blackness blacker than outer space because there were no stars. The overhead lights on the bridge were dead; emergency power had failed; no glimmers came from the open hatch leading to the rest of the ship; screens and readouts gave no information about speed or course or possible collisions with space junk. The vibrations she’d learned to ignore no longer teased her feet with a faint reassurance of technological life.
Dead. All dead.
Although she’d done nothing to cause the spaceship to shut down, she was the captain. She was responsible.
Effing Feline here again. I’ve been ordered to wish you humans a Happy New Year. Enjoy flipping your stupid calendar page (yawn).
Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.
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The first two books in the Repelling the Invasion series are:
[image error]The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station
Farflung Space Station is the first line of defense against vicious space pirates. They haven’t counted on Sandrina, who knows so many of Farflung’s secrets that she’s the most powerful person on the entire station…though nobody knows it yet.
They’re about to find out.
Amazon
Escapee[image error]
The African Queen in outer space
Catt Sayer just wants to survive. The working-class fugitive delivers military supplies on her decrepit airship, but her hard-won livelihood vanishes when invaders overrun her harsh moon. Now an idealistic, upper-class officer wants her to risk her life on a hopeless voyage to attack enemy headquarters – manned by 10,000 soldiers.
Amazon
December 17, 2016
Effing Feline cleans up
Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.
I, Effing Feline, have little time to write today. Too busy cleaning up for Christmas, since all four of Mr V’s children will be home for the holidays and I don’t want them to think I neglect my fur. Here’s a picture of me, bathing:
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Effing Feline’s bath (censored)
Since next Sunday is Christmas, this will be my last post of the year. Also the last post from Newborn, Mr V’s latest release. Our assassin heroine wasn’t programmed for love; she was meant to kill quickly and commit suicide. However, a stint in hospital gives Jo the unexpected time to discover her full humanity, and she’s fallen in love with Darby, the bodyguard of the woman she’s supposed to assassinate.
But love weakens her compulsion to kill, and her distant programmers can’t allow that. And so one day Jo hears an ominous voice in her head.
“The instruments say you can hear me,” the voice said.
I swiveled my eyes to look around. “Who’s there?
“No one, Jo,” Darby said as though from the other side of the planet. I couldn’t see him; couldn’t see anything. “It’s just me.”
“I’m guessing you answered me out loud,” the voice said. The sound quality was different than using my ears—more muffled and hushed, and it stank of stale smoke. “Don’t speak; that’s an order.” The woman’s calm confidence hinted that she was used to having orders obeyed.
Effing Feline here again. What the hiss is with the censorship of my picture? I’m a cat. We’re always naked. Who the #@)(%@ censored my picture?!
Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.
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Newborn
She was born to kill
Jo Beaverpaw is born fully grown, well-armed, and impatient to tackle her Destiny … which is to kill her alien nation’s most wanted fugitive. Her life is pre-programmed and straightforward – until she meets the sexy bodyguard of her intended target.
If you’re intrigued by the idea that the Schwarzenegger-assassin in the original Terminator could’ve been a bad-assed (yet petite) female, don’t miss Newborn.
Find Newborn at:
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Apple iTunes
Kobo Books
Smashwords
SFR Brigade Holiday Showcase, day 4
The year in review + a Xmas present for you
2016 was very productive. I had three new books come out, tied for the most ever, and I sold another that will be out next year. Over the next few days I’ll be showcasing each book, so stop by each day for contests, discounts, free snippets, and more.
Escapee, released April
Book two in the Repelling the Invasion series, and the focus of today’s post.
Future Love, released July
Newborn, released November
Want to sample one of these three books? Everyone who signs up for my mailing list during the showcase will get the book of their choice in the e-book format of their choice by December 20. So sign up now!
Escapee
The African Queen in outer space
[image error]Catt Sayer just wants to survive. The working-class fugitive delivers military supplies on her decrepit airship, but her hard-won livelihood vanishes when invaders overrun her harsh moon. Now an idealistic, upper-class officer wants her to risk her life on a hopeless voyage to attack enemy headquarters – manned by 10,000 soldiers.
Edward Hoornaert’s romantic space opera, Escapee, continues the saga of the Dukelsky family (begun in The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station). If you like The African Queen and the thrill of underdogs finding love while battling a hostile environment, you’ll love Escapee.
Don’t let this rousing adventure escape you. Order Escapee today.
Amazon US
Amazon Canada
Amazon UK
Amazon Australia
MuseItUp Publishing
Apple iBooks
Barnes and Noble
Kobo Books
All Romance
SFR Brigade Showcase Participants:
Be sure to check out the other great writers taking part in the SFR Brigade Showcase.
1.
Lea Kirk
11.
Jess Anastasi
21.
Melisse Aires
2.
Pippa Jay
12.
AR DeClerck
22.
Michelle Diener
3.
Carol Van Natta
13.
Dena Garson
23.
Shari Elder
4.
Liza O’Connor
14.
Carmen Webster Buxton
24.
E.M Reders
5.
Jolie Mason
15.
Imogene Nix
25.
C.E. Kilgore
6.
Aurora Springer
16.
Christina Westcott
26.
Diane Burton
7.
S. A. Hoag
17.
Michelle Howard
27.
Athena Grayson
8.
Pauline Baird Jones
18.
Siren Allen
28.
Misa Buckley
9.
Veronica Scott
19.
Tess Rider
29
Kaye Manro
10.
Greta van der Rol
20.
Kyndra Hatch
