Edward Hoornaert's Blog, page 59

Effing Feline says humans are lazy

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Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.

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I, Effing Feline, have recuperated from the trauma of seeing pictures of Willie (at right), a previous family cat. Turns out he was actually Ed’s daughter’s cat, who cohabited here because Beth still lived at home. That means I’m still #1, right?

Ed wants me to switch to a new project. He says he “needs the push” because his “writing efforts have slowed over the last six months.”  I say, “humans are lazy”. After all, we cats never need a reminder or a push to take a nap or eat, right?

Secrets of Love and War is April’s Camp NaNoWriMo project. Due to elbow surgery, Ed didn’t reach his 40K goal — as I said, lazy.  This is the very opening.

The first sign of trouble was soul-shaking thunder at the exact instant Cynthia O’Connor’s wading boot kissed the surface of Twisted Dragon Lagoon, sending ripples across the placid surface.  She stared stupidly.  Her foot, too slender for most shoes, couldn’t possibly cause such a roar.

The sky was clear, so it couldn’t have been thunder.  A sonic boom?  She’d grown up with those nerve-shattering bellows at her dad’s pub near the small spaceport on Kintle-Tilene, her home world, but sonic booms weren’t allowed over this planet’s idyllic cities.  Might ruin the ambience of ancient, civilized calm.  What the Sacred Inferno was hap—

A second shattering burst demolished all thoughts, then a third, fourth, fifth, sixth tore through her ears.  And that could mean only one thing.

“War comes!” shrieked her clan-sister, Kaushelle.

Effing Feline here again. This science fiction romance is raw, unedited text, so Ed says you can critique to your heart’s delight. Guess he’s too lazy to edit it himself.

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.

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Secrets of Love and War is a working title that may or may  not last. Here’s the book’s tagline:

The destinies—and hearts—of a nurse and an injured enemy pilot become entangled as they search for the horrifying truth underlying the war between their planets.

ROTFLMAO – MFRWauthor

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For week 18, the Marketing for Romance Writers blog tour prompt is:

What makes me laugh out loud

The answer: not much.  I’m more of a chuckler than a guffawer. I chuckle a lot, mind you, because people can be pretty darned amusing, whether intentionally or not.  But laugh?

While I laughed out loud at certain movies — Tootsie and Four O’clock High come to mind — on repeated viewings, I chuckle rather than laugh. (Hmm. Those movies are both really old. Maybe I need to get out more.)

However there is one person who reliably loosens my laugh muscles.

My three-year-old grandson, Wesley.

At nap time or bed time, he complains about not being tired quietly but incessantly — all while trudging obediently to his room.
When welcoming him to our house for the four-times-a-week babysitting, I’ve learned not to say “Hi, Wesley!” because he’s likely to respond “I’m not Wesley, I’m Batman.”  Or Ironman, or Spiderman, or … well, you get the idea.
A local mall has an adoption outlet for pets, which we visited with Wesley. Some puppies ran toward him when he put his hand in their cage, and he jerked it away, saying they were trying to eat (i.e. lick) him. His mom said no, they just wanted to play with him — to which he replied, “I’m not a toy!”

Click here to enter your link and/or check out the other great romance writers taking part in this blog hop.

SFR Brigade Showcase, May 2017

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Welcome to the Science Fiction Romance Brigade’s showcase. Once a month, the brigade’s authors highlight snippets from new works, WIPs, cover reveals or other fun things. This month, I’m featuring a personal favorite SFR from my backlist: The Guardian Angel of Farflung Station.

[image error]I prefer good people to tough guys, and this book has the best heroine I’ve ever written.  Sandrina is a waifish underdog who uses intelligence, daring, and a wildly good heart to become the most knowledgeable person on her city-sized space station.

Blurb

Space pirates think they’ve conquered Farflung Space Station — but they haven’t counted on Sandrina. The attractive waif has discovered so many of Farflung’s secrets that she’s the most powerful person on the station … though nobody knows it yet.

They’re about to find out.

Excerpt

Against the backdrop of an invasion by space pirates, Guardian Angel features two women interested in the same man. Princess Lockey is rich, forceful, and tough — the archetypal kick-ass heroine. Sandrina is shy, mute, and unglamorous. By all rights, Lockey should easily win Duke’s heart … but Sandrina won’t give up easily.

An evil spirit—or maybe a wise angel—seized control of Sandrina’s body. She slammed the closet door, stabbed the lock button twice so it couldn’t be opened from the other side, and leaned back against the metal, breathing hard. Startled by what she’d done, she squeezed her eyes shut. Lockey pounded on the door, her shouts to be let out muffled by the thick door.

[image error]Duke’s footsteps, lighter than the princess’s despite his size, approached. “Sandrina?” he asked in a firm but gentle voice. “What do you think you’re doing?”

She met him halfway. At the foot of her bed.

Unable to explain, she shrugged. She didn’t have access to her vocalizer, for one thing. For another, she hardly knew herself what she was doing.

Again she startled herself. She flung herself into his arms, hugging his body against hers. The cloth of his shirt rubbed her cheek like a caress; his heartbeat echoed hers in syncopated rhythm. She looked up at him, lips parted. The confusion in the room and in her heart was palpable, a gooey, breath-stopping molasses.

Idiot, she chided herself. Let go of him. He has a battle to fight, which leaves no time for this. Idiot!

Interested?

Read chapter one of Guardian Angel.

The novella is available wherever fine e-books are sold, including:

MuseItUp Publishing
Amazon
Amazon Canada
Amazon UK
Amazon Australia
Barnes and Noble
Kobo Books

Effing Feline trembles in the face of time

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Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.

[image error]I, Effing Feline, saw some pictures today of a previous family cat, Willie. He was a handsome black and white feline, large, disdainful, and masculine (though ‘fixed’).

Yet I find the pics profoundly disturbing.  There was a cat before me? There will be cats after me? My mind rebels against the utter absurdity of time and existence.

Today, a final selection from The Trial of Tompa Lee. Tompa’s lone Shon defender is a feeble old coot named Awmit — but she’s about to get another. Dante Roussel threw away his Space Navy career to help Tompa, and at dawn he finally catches up to her. Here’s her reaction to his ultimate sacrifice.

“This one sees . . .” Awmit began, then paused. “This one sees truthfully a human?”

Tompa glanced fifty yards downstream, toward the cave halfway up the cliff, where Awmit stood with his hands covering his eyes against the harsh morning sunlight. She turned back to watch the cop. “Yeah, he’s human, but he’s one of them. An accuser.”

“No,” Roussel said. “I’m here to help you.”

“Your kind of help I don’t need, you puking maggot!”

Effing Feline here again. Now you have a full idea of the conflict in The Trial of Tompa Lee. An angry feisty heroine, a unappreciated hero, and hordes of bloodthirsty aliens.

But … is it really possible that this whole book was written, released in hardcover, re-released in paperback and ebook … before I even existed? How could anything have existed before me?  Sure, time exists independently of humans — that’s obvious — but independently of CATS?

I need someone to pet me, quick.

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.

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Trial of Tompa Lee

[image error]Tompa Lee thinks joining the Space Navy is a dream come true, but it turns into a nightmare when she’s framed for murder on an alien planet. To prove her innocence, she’ll have to trust the policeman who betrayed her to cruel alien justice—and defeat 300 aliens who want to slaughter her.

Edward Hoornaert’s science fiction saga begins The Trilogy of Tompa Lee, though each book in the series stands alone.  If you enjoy seeing lowly underdogs overcoming awe-inspiring odds, you’ll love The Trial of Tompa Lee.

Where in the World? #MFRWAuthor

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For this week, the Marketing for Romance Writers blog tour prompt is:

Top Five Places I’d Like to Visit

At last, an easy topic!

Uh, hold on a minute. Only five?

1 – Places with my children

I visit these once a year if I can, yet they’re number one on my list. Total distance to visit everyone, 9800 miles.

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Ed & Judi in Toronto

Amsterdam, with son #1.
Vancouver, with son #2.
Toronto, with son #3.
My daughter’s house, 1.5 miles away.

2 – Literary / musical destinations

Jane Austen’s house
Amsterdam Concertgebouw
Esterházy Palace in Eisenstadt, Austria — specifically the Haydnsaal

3 – Canada


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Ed in Banff

Canadian Rockies, especially Banff and Jasper National Parks and Mt Robson Provincial Park. I’ve been there, yet yearn to return
Nova Scotia
Arctic Ocean
Haida Gwai
Alert Bay

4 – Mountains!

The Alps
Tierra del Fuego
Mount Everest

5 – Miscellaneous Europe
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Judi in Bruges

Bruges and Ghent, Belgium
Vienna
Iceland
Scotland

What about you? Where in the world do you want to visit?

Click here to enter your link and view other great writers in this blog hop.

Charlotte Bronte tries to steal someone’s work!

Charlotte Bronte, author of Jane Eyre, would never need to steal another author’s work. Right?

I’m no longer quite so sure.

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A couple weeks ago, I had elbow surgery. The other night, I took a hydrocodone and read myself to sleep with a biography of Miss Bronte. The passage discussed how an author name Mrs. Gaskell, author of the Victorian classic, North and South, was such a fan of Charlotte’s that she wrote a biography .

I dozed …

… then awoke …

… aware that Charlotte envied the acerbic social commentary of North and South

and was going to claim the novel as her own.

If that isn’t bad enough, I semi-awoke to the knowledge that only I could save Mrs. Gaskell’s reputation — if I watched the movie made of her book on Netflix.

So I did.  At 3:00 AM.  I hope Mrs. Gaskell’s ghost appreciates what I did for her.

Okay, you can laugh at me now.

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It isn’t Jane Eyre or even North and South, but my own Newborn is reduced to a mere $0.99 during April’s Sci Fi cross promotion. Next time you’re awake at 3:00 AM, give it a try.

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p. s. — No more hydrocodone for me!

Effing Feline celebrates earth day

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Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.

I, Effing Feline, love Earth Day. I love to gaze out the window at our beautiful Earth. I love the birds and the lizards, especially, the birds, and I dream of getting outside so I can chase and catch Mother Earth’s lovely creatures!

Today, another selection from The Trial of Tompa Lee. Navy policeman Dante Roussel has turned Tompa Lee over to the Shons for trial for mass murder. Suspecting she’s been framed, Dante is horrified to discover that her trial is a trial-by-combat, with Tompa facing her accusers — all 300 of them. As she is led away, the leader of the Navy contingent orders her people to turn away, leaving Tompa to her fate.

 

Effing Feline here again. Some of you probably have sympathy for the birds and lizards, but remember: I’m a cat. What do you expect of me?

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.

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Trial of Tompa Lee

[image error]Tompa Lee thinks joining the Space Navy is a dream come true, but it turns into a nightmare when she’s framed for murder on an alien planet. To prove her innocence, she’ll have to trust the policeman who betrayed her to cruel alien justice—and defeat 300 aliens who want to slaughter her.

Edward Hoornaert’s science fiction saga begins The Trilogy of Tompa Lee, though each book in the series stands alone.  If you enjoy seeing lowly underdogs overcoming awe-inspiring odds, you’ll love The Trial of Tompa Lee.

Dreaming medium-sized dreams #MFRWauthor

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I’m back after a week’s absence due to elbow surgery for septic bursitis. For this week, the Marketing for Romance Writers blog prompt is:

My biggest dream in life

This is harder than it may seem. I’ve never had one BIG DREAM, rather, a series of big dreams, like pearls on a necklace.

Back in high school, I remember telling my sister, with regret in my voice, that I’d probably end up living a normal, humdrum life in the city. No harm in that, of course. But I yearned for … something different.

Right after that conversation, I asked to the senior prom the wonderful woman who eventually became my wife. Judi helped me find a different sort of life.

[image error]We sought out small towns in the wilds of the British Columbia Interior. Taught in a one-room school accessible only by float plane. Moved up to a two-room log cabin school. Settled in the ‘suburbs’ of a ‘big city’ of 1500, where our four children were born.

Even though we now live in a sedate, normal city in Arizona, my life has been very different, and not humdrum at all.

Since then, my life has been sustained by a string of other dreams:

Become a topnotch oboe player (mostly accomplished, on good days)
Make a living as a writer (done, though most of the money came from technical writing)
Publish a novel (done)
Show I’m not a fluke by continuing to publish (I’m up to 13).

My current Big Dream is to become the best novelist I can possibly be. Recognition in the form of sales and/or awards would be great, really marvelous; but strangely enough, they aren’t necessary. I’m beginning to be worthy of those things, and that’s what matters. I can’t control what the world thinks of me.

Some days I sure wish I could, though!

What about you? What are your Big Dreams?

 Click here to enter your link and view other great writers in this blog hop.

Effing Feline sleeps

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Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.

I, Effing Feline, enjoyed a vacation this week. No typing. No fighting with my editors. You see, Ed was in hospital for five days, and without my hard taskmaster, I did what cats do best.

I slept.

Today, another selection from The Trial of Tompa Lee. Navy policeman Dante Roussel has turned Tompa Lee over to the Shons for trial for mass murder. Suspecting she’s been framed, Dante is horrified to discover that her trial is a trial-by-combat, with Tompa facing her accusers — all 300 of them. As she is led away, the leader of the Navy contingent orders her people to turn away, leaving Tompa to her fate.

But Dante turned and dashed down the steps, toward Tompa Lee.

Shouts arose even before he reached the powdery dust of the arena. He kept running, expecting with every step a sudden, burning agony to terminate his dash. He’d ignored a Code Magenta. That was an act of mutiny. If he were still in command of the guards, who’d kept their weapons, he’d order them to fire.

Yet he didn’t dodge or weave. He owed the Navy a clear shot at his back even more than he owed Tompa Lee her safety—or, to be more realistic, the small grace of not dying alone.

Effing Feline here again. Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.

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Trial of Tompa Lee

[image error]Tompa Lee thinks joining the Space Navy is a dream come true, but it turns into a nightmare when she’s framed for murder on an alien planet. To prove her innocence, she’ll have to trust the policeman who betrayed her to cruel alien justice—and defeat 300 aliens who want to slaughter her.

Edward Hoornaert’s science fiction saga begins The Trilogy of Tompa Lee, though each book in the series stands alone.  If you enjoy seeing lowly underdogs overcoming awe-inspiring odds, you’ll love The Trial of Tompa Lee.

Effing Feline thanks a dog

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Fart-Fueled Flying Feline, Effing for short, writes the Weekend Writing Warrior / Sunday Snippet posts on Mr. V’s behalf. Click the pic for info.

I, Effing Feline, got in trouble AGAIN. Not fair; I was just trying to make up for scratching the couch when I put the prickly pear pads under my pet humans’ pillows. Now I have to make up for the prickles, too. Poor me!

[image error]Twiggles the Dog apologized, because she’s the one who suggested the prickly pears.  She feels so bad that she suggested a gift Mr V is bound to love: a furball in each of his shoes. I was skeptical at first, but Twiggles says Bucky Katt (of Get Fuzzy fame) does this all the time. If it’s good enough for my hero, it’s good enough for me!

Today, another selection from The Trial of Tompa Lee. Tompa is being turned over for trial to the Shons, intelligent herd creatures. She is led down a busy street from the landing strip to the courtroom.

Tompa’s two burly Navy escorts propelled her into the street. The Shons stopped all at once, then gave the humans a wide berth. The air seemed to change, filling with . . . something. It wasn’t a smell or a sound, but it was there nonetheless; a sudden, almost palpable sense of shared malice aimed squarely at her. Every last one of the Shons stared at her, murmuring, then shouting. What had been a crowd of individuals was, suddenly, a single entity. A herd.

A Shon spat at her, whistling. Another Shon spat, then another and another in a rhythm as precise as the spitting of a machine gun. They pinched their supple mouths into a funnel shape, leaned their heads back and jumped as they spat, like kids taking jump shots on one of the glass-strewn basketball courts back home; and they all whistled as they spat.

Thick, mucousy spittle hit Tompa’s cheek.

Effing Feline here again. Coughing up two furballs at once was hard work — harder even than spitting like a basketball player — but Ed is worth it.[image error]

And Twiggles … I hate to admit this, but that dog is a pretty darned good friend, don’t you think?

Be sure to visit the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday posts.

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Trial of Tompa Lee

[image error]Tompa Lee thinks joining the Space Navy is a dream come true, but it turns into a nightmare when she’s framed for murder on an alien planet. To prove her innocence, she’ll have to trust the policeman who betrayed her to cruel alien justice—and defeat 300 aliens who want to slaughter her.

Edward Hoornaert’s science fiction saga begins The Trilogy of Tompa Lee, though each book in the series stands alone.  If you enjoy seeing lowly underdogs overcoming awe-inspiring odds, you’ll love The Trial of Tompa Lee.