Caprice Crane's Blog, page 97

Prop 8 OVERTURNED!

Betty White's ass is mine.

Is it possible for a lollipop to get an STD?

Behold the first piece of candy to have achieved such a distinction:

Romance 101

Jessica Simpson posted a photo of her kissing her latest boyfriend, Eric Johnson, on her twitter page.  She looks totally into it:

This was her tweet:

JessicaSimpson: Romance 101..getting kissed by my Yalie…me not lookin' so smart… but YUM!
about 16 hours ago via UberTwitter

I never took Romance 101, when I was in college so I'm actually grateful for this lesson.

What I've learned in today's class:

1. Keep your eyes open.

2. In fact, look around to see what else is going on. You don't wanna miss...

Hey. I can't figure out how to comment on your blog (drunk, go figure), but I'm from Ireland and I suggested my ex get my face tattooed on her. Fun fact, thought I'd share...

Hoff? Is that you? Quit with the "Irish" stuff. We all see through it. If you like the drink you like the drink. No judgment here.

The Many Faces of The Hoff

There are few people as fascinating as David Hasselhoff. I mean, the Baywatch, the Jesus-like celebrity status in Germany, the night of drunk, shirtless cheeseburger-eating while lounging on the floor…it's all glorious.

So when I happened upon him this afternoon while shopping I was pleased to be in his midst. Who wouldn't be?

Little did I know the gem that would come wafting from his mouth moments later.

Date D'Jour was trying on dress after dress for an event they're attending. She seems...

ASK MAX

My dog, Max, just posted his column for this week.  I'm not gonna say who but someone that all of you know asked one of this week's questions. Maybe you guys can figure it out. Click here to read the column and send in new questions!

It Would Appear I'm Having Bad Plane Luck

This is the woman who refused to sit down and therefore caused our (already delayed) flight to return back to the gate so she could be arrested:

You'd think a woman of her ripe age would know better.

You would be wrong.

This is her being escorted off the plane:

And this is another passenger yelling at her.

But she really doesn't care. So what if an entire plane is being inconvenienced and missing their flight/meetings. She is batshit crazy.

So, I think: She really is at an advanced age. Perhaps I...

Apologies in advance...

And you don't wanna know what he's doing with his hands.

How to get friends on this thing...

You'd think "posting pics of boobs" would be answer number one, especially considering what I've been seeing around these parts (your… parts) but I asked around and there were two resounding answers (no, it wasn't the "left boob" and the "right boob"). The answers were: kittens and bacon.

I won't do it a lot. My dog Max would not have it. But since I'm feeling like the new kid on the block…

I'm just gonna leave this here.

Flight to Chicago with Grouchy McGroucherson

Nobody wants to get stuck sitting on an airplane next to that chatty asshole who's going on and on (and on) about shit you don't care about.

However, you can maybe smile and say hello to the person you're seated next to. Or at least not scowl at them. Otherwise, you never know what'll happen…

I arrive at my seat, coffee in hand, excited to be flying to Chicago to visit my friend Jen.

Grouchy is already seated and rolls his eyes when I walk up to take my seat. Nice to see you too.

I toss my bag...