Jason Bitner's Blog, page 46

Caught You

I found this while shelving Teen books at the library where I work. The fluorescent yellow caught my eye as it was sticking out of a copy of Dramarama by E. Lockhart.

It particularly made me chuckle because I imagine the first writer trying to use "Bookworm!" as an insult only to receive this comeback, which I think would pretty effectively shut him or her down. Don't mess with us bookworms!

No Matter What

I found this crumpled on a city street on my way home from work, written on the back of a betting slip.

Future Miss America

I was working a shift at Bath & Body Works the week before Christmas when I found this folded up on one of the shelves while cleaning up. I hope the maker of this list received at least one of these things for Christmas.

Valerie

Part of a stack of index cards found by the trash outside of Lamplighter Roasting Co.

Am Not

So late one night I went to Burger King and there was one other guy there, either drunk out of his mind or higher than a kite at a rave.

Evidently he thought I was a vampire, followed me home, and left this on my doorstep. It's on the back of some sheet music, and if you can't read it, here's what it says:

Dear you
I saw you in Burger King and followed you here because I know what you are You are a vampire and I am going to the police unless you can leave town.
-MIKE

Fancy Casket

I was going through a bunch of old books, one of my favorite hobbies. This picture was tucked inside a Bible totally written in Latin. The first pages were missing so not sure how old; but, look at the detail in dressing up this casket.

Facts about Duck Sex

This was inside a 3-subject notebook.

No Offense Intended

Just saw this note on the ground after leaving a coffee shop at 18th Ave. and Geary Blvd., and thought it was a pretty fair and balanced proposition for a casual "dudes only" hookup.

Gone Muskie Fishing

Back in the early 90s I worked for the Stevens Point Parks Department, keeping downtown Main Street and the Square clean. I found a lot of weird stuff working there (you wouldn't believe how many bullets I found), but photos are always something I feel the need to hold on to. I found this picture on the sidewalk. It had been outside for a while and looked like it had been driven over and drug through the streets, which is why there are all those white spots. The woman's outfit makes me giggle...

The One with the Cats

I found this in the vestibule of my apartment building one night, and I just had to open the envelope and read it. I put it back where I left it though, so I'm not a total asshole.