Shallon Lester's Blog, page 17

Hamptons Hotness

As you might know, I've never been a big fan of the Hamptons. I've only been twice, once to Noah Teppeberg's estate which, by the end of the weekend, was crawling with 100 lb Brazilian models. The second time I spent a few days at Donny Deutsch's manse with my Downtown Girls costar Nikki. That ended in food poisoning courtesy of The Palm.

I don't really understand the point of sitting on a train for 2 hours only to be surrounded by the exact same well-dressed, social climbing, irritatingly thin people that you'd find in Manhattan.

"I'm rich and hot, thank god someone realized how courageous I am!"

 

But I will sit in a cab across town for the Hamptons magazine summer kick-off party. The fete tonight will be on the roof of STK in the meatpacking district and promises tasty snacks, champagne cocktails, Heidi Klum and about 150 jappy girls in Tory Burch flats squawking that their 9-bedroom Sag Harbor summer rental isn't nearly large enough for them, their hedge fund husband, the twins (Jagger and Hudson), three nannies and the teacup Yorkie, Vuitton. I mean my god Jackie, it's like I'm in the third world, am I right?!

It'll undoubtedly be one of those events that everyone spends relentlessly scanning the room, trying to decide if anyone is someone, and of course they won't be.

"Hey isn't that...absolutely no one. Nevermind."

 

Needless to say, I'm there.

Models & Mayhem: A Recap

Last week I told you about the Edeyo party I was going to, hosted by Sean Avery and Rachel Hunter (who happen to be exes). I was mostly psyched to wear my new shoes, these glorious creatures:

But I was also looking forward to the party because Sean absolutely fucking hates me and there's nothing I love more than an awkward situation.

Tragically, I didn't get my awkward apocalypse because Sean didn't show up.

It's one things for a celeb to ditch out on a party when they're just a guest, but a host? Dude. Srsly. It was a CHARITY FOR HAITI, for God sakes. And hello they gave away Zeno HotSpots in the gift bags–that alone is worth showing up for!

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Ew. Put some socks on.

 

Thankfully the luminous Rachel Hunter kept her promise and used her super cute Aussie accent to help raise a ton of money for the Port-au-Prince school.

Maybe Sean got locked in his closet full of couture, maybe he realized that an evening with his ex-GF was an epically bad idea or maybe he just got distracted by something shiny and lost track of time. In any case, it's pretty messed up to stiff a charity.

For someone who wants to be a celebrity so badly, he really sucks at it.

Exes & Ohs: The Reviews Are In!

Woohoo! Exes and Ohs has received it's first legit book review by King Features, which syndicates book write ups to newspapers and magazines all over the country. So conceivably, this could end up in the Washington Post or LA Times or oooo maybe even someplace in CANADA!

Overall I think the review is positive, although I do not think my stories are pointless. Hello have they read Chelsea Handler?! When I read her book I honestly thought pages were missing; that bitch is funny on TV but can not write.

Check out the review! Weeee!

The Jet Set Life is Gonna Kill Me

I've got travel plans for the next six weekends and while at first glance it might seem like I'm on the run from the law, I'm in fact jetting around for a series of marvelous, possibly sunburnt adventures! Where?? So glad you asked. See if you can guess…

4th of July:

Answer: New Orleans! Dashing down south this weekend to see daring Lizy, who just moved to Nola for business school at Tulane. I'm so proud of her/scared for my liver.



July 10th:

Answer: Syracuse, New York! My darling boy has a wedding up there so he's going to show me around his hometown. I had to double Google that this was in fact Syracuse University. Colleges don't look like this in California. I went to one of the top schools in the state and it looks less like Hogwarts, more like a penitentiary.

July 15th:

Answer: Puerto Rico! I'm already stockpiling sunblock and bikinis for our 10 days in paradise. We're starting off at the St. Regis in San Juan then moving on to…

July 22nd:

Answer: Vieques! Have I mentioned that this island is infested with mini horses? Do you think I could fit one in the overhead compartment? Hmm, doubtful; I'll probably end up checking it.



July 30:

Answer: Martha's Vineyard! Or, possibly….

Answer: Foxwoods! Yes, the scene of the Bruins-related melee. Apparently Kendra Wilkinson is hosting some pool party there that I was invited to and while she's a celebrity in the most minor sense, I feel like she'll get blacked out and fall in the pool. Win.

August 6th:

Answer: HOME!!! I'll be doing a book signing at the Barnes & Noble in Newport Beach that weekend. If you're passing through the OC and not too busy taking advantage of our greatest natural resource (Botox), c'mon by!