Hamptons Hotness

As you might know, I've never been a big fan of the Hamptons. I've only been twice, once to Noah Teppeberg's estate which, by the end of the weekend, was crawling with 100 lb Brazilian models. The second time I spent a few days at Donny Deutsch's manse with my Downtown Girls costar Nikki. That ended in food poisoning courtesy of The Palm.

I don't really understand the point of sitting on a train for 2 hours only to be surrounded by the exact same well-dressed, social climbing, irritatingly thin people that you'd find in Manhattan.

"I'm rich and hot, thank god someone realized how courageous I am!"

 

But I will sit in a cab across town for the Hamptons magazine summer kick-off party. The fete tonight will be on the roof of STK in the meatpacking district and promises tasty snacks, champagne cocktails, Heidi Klum and about 150 jappy girls in Tory Burch flats squawking that their 9-bedroom Sag Harbor summer rental isn't nearly large enough for them, their hedge fund husband, the twins (Jagger and Hudson), three nannies and the teacup Yorkie, Vuitton. I mean my god Jackie, it's like I'm in the third world, am I right?!

It'll undoubtedly be one of those events that everyone spends relentlessly scanning the room, trying to decide if anyone is someone, and of course they won't be.

"Hey isn't that...absolutely no one. Nevermind."

 

Needless to say, I'm there.