Carrie Contey's Blog, page 6

Parenting Now: Playmakers

Before Steve Gross agreed to be part of my Parenting Now conference, I watched his speech at UMass about play. Steve is the founder of an amazing organization called Life is Good: Playmakers, and I had heard stories of his charisma, inspiration, and drive for connection and joy. I knew instantly I wanted to work with this guy.

You know I’m a huge advocate of play. Play in family life levels the playing field, infuses routines with curiosity, and moves relationships in incredible ways. Steve’s done a ton of research around the effects of play – especially in relation to trauma. Check out this document, which provides an excellent overview of the Playmakers approach to play and its importance to the health, education and well-being of children:

As a bonus, I’m highlighting the UMass speech HERE. Make sure you watch his interview with me – and get ready for some pretty intense smiles, jokes, and support on how to bring play into family life.

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Steve and I discuss the power of play, and how to get more of it, as part of the Parenting Now virtual conference. Register here!

Parenting Now: The Art and Practice of Conscious Parenting

A few years ago I lead a group coaching series that was threaded with the book, The Conscious Parent: Transforming ourselves, empowering our children by Shefali Tsabary, PhD. I read this book multiple times and continued to extract amazing knowledge, insight, and deep compassion. So last year I went out on a limb and asked Dr. Shefali to join me in a virtual conference. Low and behold – she said YES.

As I prepared for this year’s conference, Parenting Now, I thought, why not ask her again? We had an incredible conversation before – it only made sense to keep it going. When I reached out, Dr. Shefali jumped on board and we had a skype call suuuper early one morning that was filled with support, ideas, and tools for parents. (Talk about a fantastic way to start off your day!)

For a quick peek into her brilliance, here’s an excerpt from her book about children and feelings:

When our children are permitted to feel their feelings, they are able to release them amazingly quickly. They come out of the pain understanding that pain is just another sensation. The anticipation of the pain is often more intolerable than the actual pain. When our children experience their pain in its pure form, without fueling it in resistance or coloring it with a reaction, the pain transforms itself into wisdom and perspective.

(A fun side note, I’m not the only person who’s interviewed Dr. Shefali. The one and only Oprah Winfreyis a huge fan of hers. !!!)

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Dr. Shefali and I unravel the journey of parenthood as part of the Parenting Now virtual conference. Register here!

Parenting Now: Philosophy, Childhood, and Parenting

The thought of writing a book is exhilarating and exhausting to me. Some days I think YES YES and others I think, you’ve GOT to be kidding me. And yet this inspiring woman has written multiple best selling books, and when I talk with her it’s easy to see why.

Marietta McCarty is a huge advocate of philosophy for people of all ages. It’s not only the course you signed up for in college – it’s also the conversations you have about the grass with a 4 year old.

Marrietta has written three books - Little Big Minds, The Philosopher’s Table, and How Philosophy Can Save Your Life. And she says these books lead her into new circles of philosophers of all ages—on playgrounds, in dining rooms, through back doors into kitchens, through front doors into libraries and restaurants, at business meetings and after-work parties.

Then we met on Skype** to record an interview about philosophy and family life, and her energy was contagious. Our relationship developed through our honest conversation, along with laughter and respect. Marietta defines philosophy as “the art of clear thinking,” and she believes that with a better grasp of the meaning of joy, kindness, community, empathy, love, or gratitude – the path towards the good life opens wide.

Join us for a wonderful conversation about how approaching life with more curiosity, openness, and interest is sometimes all it takes to turn a chaotic family life into smooth sailing. And if you want more Marietta, find her here: www.mariettamccarty.com

**Marietta tweets! She facebooks! But she has only skyped once in her life – and that was with me!

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Marietta and I discuss deepening your relationships through honest conversations as part of the Parenting Now virtual conference. Register here!

Parenting Now: Joyful Living

Geeta Cowlagi looks at you, and you instantly connect. There are only a few other people who I can say the same about. Her eyes, her presence, and her openness truly invited me to BE in each moment with her during our conversation. No wonder she’s so talented at leading mindfulness programs!

Geeta has been in my world for years, as she worked with a dear friend of my at the University of Texas at Austin. However it wasn’t until recently that we were able to connect – and truly, deeply engage in a lovely exploration of how mindfulness and parenting connect.

Because Geeta is based in Austin, we were able to do our interview in person, at my home. (It was so fun!!) If you’d like to see a clip of it, click here.

One thing I adore about Geeta is her clear stance that the way she operates in the world is called, “heart work.” This play on hard work makes me laugh, and pause. I value working with families and people because it allows me to bring more of myself, and my heart to people who want to access more of their hearts. It is inspiring and motivating that Geeta identifies this and keeps all of her projects in line with this “heart work” stance.

If you’re intrigued about mindfulness and want a free list of mindfulness strategies, check out Joyful Living. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed. ;)

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Geeta and I sit on my patio, learning mindfulness strategies and how they support family life as part of the Parenting Now virtual conference. Register here!

Parenting Now: Life Ki-Do

As I’m typing this, I’m getting ready to spend a day with Jonathan Hewitt, founder of Life-Kido right here in Austin, TX. I am so grateful that not only do I get to work side by side with him, but good news for you – he agreed to be in the Parenting Now conference! Which means you get to hear his brilliance in the comfort of your own home. And believe me, he’s got some amazing tools.

During our conversation as part of the conference, we dove into three big topics.

1. In a situation you can be ice, puddle, or river. (What the what? Check out the interview!)

2. To support yourself, check in with your 3 Bs – Body, Breath, & Brain. (This IS as easy as you think, and yet, it isn’t.)

3. Use the bigger picture of how you want the relationship to be as your constant guide in situations. (Let the macro inform the micro.)

Sounds interesting, right? It was so much fun and the whole time I wanted to cheer. I’m a huge proponent of Jonathan’s work, especially because we have similar beliefs but operate in completely different realms. In fact last year as a bonus gift for members of my year long Evolve program, I provided everyone with a copy of Jonathan’s book, Life Ki-Do Parenting: Tools to Raise Happy, Confident Kids from the Inside Out.

If you’re in Austin and want to check out Jonathan’s academy, visit www.lifekido.com. And honestly, regardless of where you are located, take a look at this piece written by a high school senior from his classes: “Life is a game that we play, and we are playing against ourselves. The one who lives it feeling fulfilled at the end of the day wins.”

 

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Jonathan and I have a high energy conference about strategies to flow as a family in the Parenting Now virtual conference. Register here!

 

Parenting Now: Having Faith in Human Development

When I talk to Dr. Stephen Cowan, I want to go back to being a kid again, just so he can be my doctor. Seriously, he is so present and wise and kind and insightful and fun. Definitely my type of people and my dream doctor.

Dr. Cowan and I sat down together to dive into a topic I hear addressed a million different ways. The topic was human development, and how to cultivate more trust in that development. The anxiety people have around development is massive. It can feel like everything is mapped out and calculated – at x months they should be exhibiting x behavior. But most parents know that this map works for some people and for others it doesn’t even come close. Yet with all these fears, experts, and behaviors flying around, it can feel very chaotic.

At which point in our interview, Dr. Cowan asked a beautiful question: “How can parents stay centered in the miraculous?”

Ah, the MIRACULOUS. This is miraculous! It is crazy miraculous that humans develop – they start out as nothing and become living, breathing, talking, can’t-stop-running-all-over-the-park human beings.

I’d love for you to tune into our conversation about the magic of human development and how to have more faith in it. And if you want to check out Dr. Stephen Cowan I highly suggest looking into his book, Fire Child Water Child:  How Understanding The Five Types of ADHD Can Help You Improve Your Child’s Self-Esteem and Attention or his website, www.DrStephenCowanMD.com.

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Dr. Stephen Cowan and I reframe human development, discuss the interface of love, and more as part of the Parenting Now virtual conference. Register here!

Parenting Now: Unconditional Positive Regard

I am delighted to share a good friend and inspiring force, Michelle Charfen. She joyfully jumped into my online Parenting Now conference, and I relished the chance to talk about something I find so important.

Michelle is a rockstar. Her life’s work is helping parents, educators, and individuals live with unconditional positive regard for themselves and in turn for others.

Unconditional positive regard! What a fantastic concept, what an interesting idea to let roll around…

Michelle is clear that when parents love and support themselves – unconditionally – parenting radically changes. That unconditional positive regard parents show toward themselves begins to affect the way they interact with their kids as well. It is becomes easier to parent with empathy and true connection. And it becomes abundantly clear how absolutely amazing these people around you truly are.

Furthermore, Michelle states that mistakes and ruptures are places for growth. (So if you freaked out on your kids recently – take a breath.) We are always learning and growing. In her “Centered Parenting” classes, her goal is to help parents figure out how to return to center once they become aware that they have gone astray.

Michelle has a wonderful TEDx talk entitled, “Unconditional Positive Regard: The Power of Self-Acceptance.”

Check out her new website at: michellecharfen.com and make sure to tune in to our conversation that really gets to the meat of all this goodness!

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Michelle and I dive into why unconditional positive regard is so helpful for parents, and how to get it, as part of the Parenting Now virtual conference. Register here!

Parenting Now: Parenting For Social Change

I first stumbled upon Teresa Graham Brett when I read her book, Parenting for Social Change, and it blew my mind. I found myself touched, inspired, and cheering. So when I embarked on creating the Parenting Now virtual conference, I KNEW I had to interview her.

Along with her book, I adore her writings. This piece was inspired by a conversation with her son about being open to love. “I love you means keep your heart open for love.” (YES!!)

I also want to share something Teresa wrote about her work and why she does it.

“My life was transformed after the births of two children. In spite of my espoused professional values, I realized that I had accepted, without question, the dominant cultural beliefs that adults have the right to control and coerce children.

The children in my life have challenged me to live according to the values of liberation, freedom and respect as a parent and human being.

As individuals and a society we can create a base of love, wholeness, authenticity, and integrity that is the foundation for just and empowering relationships. And, as we are each reflections of the world, the world is changed by our commitment to wholeness, liberation, and freedom.”

If you’re interested in learning more about Teresa, hop on over to her site www.parentingforsocialchange.com and take advantage of the bountiful information she’s offering. (Seriously, tons of articles.)

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Teresa and I chat it up about power dynamics, deep connection with children, and much more as part of the Parenting Now virtual conference. Register here!

 

Parenting Now: Teach through Love

“Parenting shouldn’t be a struggle.

I’ll trade you the guilt, frustration, and anger

for peace, cooperation, and influence.”

-Lori Petro!

This quote above is the foundation of Lori Petro’s amazing work, Teach through Love. Her website is full of support and ideas for parents who know that family life based in love is the way to go!

Her clarity is refreshing and so motivating!

“You want to enjoy your kids.

You want to enjoy being a parent.

Somewhere along the line, those two goals got lost in the everyday grind, and enjoyment was replaced with anger, impatience and frustration. You need more than discipline tricks and time-out spots. You need change.

I’m going to show you how to restore your influence, reclaim your peace, and create healthy, intimate relationships with your kids.” -Lori Petro

Lori has also done an incredible job building an online community. With thousands of families and innovative resources and constant support, her facebook page sustains people across the world. I highly suggest you check out any of her resources that speak to you.

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Lori and I dive into loving strategies to minimize stress and conflict as part of the Parenting Now virtual conference. Register here!

Parenting Now: No-Drama Discipline

Ok – so you know I’m always talking about the triune brain. Reptile, mammal, and human. Our wiring, our emotions, our behaviors, all that goodness. Well THIS WOMAN right here, is one of the people I have to thank for that information!

Tina Payne Bryson, PhD, is not only a gracious, insightful, and fun person – she’s also published numerous best selling books that highlight how our biology plays into our behaviors and our relationships. I eat this stuff up!!

I highly recommend you check out our interview in the Parenting Now conference where we explore just exactly what No-Drama Discipline looks like. And she shared an amazing tip with me that I want to detail here.

I’m sure that you’ve heard that when you talk with a child who is smaller than you, you should “get on their level.” This means lower yourself to their eye level and then have the easy/hard conversation or connection moment.

Tina says that in moments where a child is stressed (aka angry, upset, sad, confused, scared) that they are perceiving everything around them as a possible threat or dominating force. So what we really should try to do is get LOWER than the child.

That’s right! And it makes perfect sense. If you get lower than the child, and still make eye contact, then you are connecting without the intimidation factor. You are modeling that you are safe. So next time your little one gets fussy or upset, try it out. Then let me know what happens!

There’s so much more to share, but seriously check out the talk. And take a look at the two New York Times best selling books, which she co-authored with Dr Dan Siegel: No-Drama Discipline and The Whole-Brain Child.

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Tina and I share how our understanding of human development can truly transform the way we approach discipline as part of the Parenting Now virtual conference. Register here!