Jimmy Fallon > Quotes

“Don't Keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason”
― Jimmy Fallon

“Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I'd have an excuse.”
― Jimmy Fallon

“Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no leaves.”
― Jimmy Fallon, Thank You Notes

“We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you're a pretty good fan. You don't have to win everything to be a fan of something.”
― Jimmy Fallon

“Thank you adult mittens, for allowing me to give people the finger without them knowing it.”
― Jimmy Fallon, Thank You Notes

“Thank you 'adults who wear back packs' for letting me know that I don't have to take you seriously”
― Jimmy Fallon, Thank You Notes

“Live your life by doing activities that are beneficial”
― Jimmy Fallon, Snowball Fight!

“Thank you slow-walking family in front of me on the sidewalk. No, please, take your time. And definitely spread out, too, so you create a barricade of idiots. I am so thankful that you forced me to walk into the street and risk getting hit by a car in order to pass you so I could resume walking at a normal human pace.”
― Jimmy Fallon

“Ben: You know what's really great about baseball?
Lindsey Meeks: Hmm?
Ben: You can't fake it. You know, anything else in life you don't have to be great in - business, music, art - I mean you can get lucky.
Lindsey Meeks: Really?
Ben: Yeah, you can fool everyone for awhile, you know? It's like - not - not baseball. You can either hit a curveball or you can't. That's the way it works...
Lindsey Meeks: Hmm.
Ben: You know?
Ben: You can have a lucky day, sure, but you can't have a lucky career. It's a little like math. It's orderly. Win or lose, it's fair. It all adds up. It's, like, not as confusing or as ambiguous as, uh...
Lindsey Meeks: Life?
Ben: Yeah. It's - it's safe.”
― Jimmy Fallon

“Troy: Why do we inflict this on ourselves?
Ben: Why? I'll tell you why, 'cause the Red Sox never let you down.
Troy: Huh?
Ben: That's right. I mean - why? Because they haven't won a World Series in a century or so? So what? They're here. Every April, they're here. At 1:05 or at 7:05, there is a game. And if it gets rained out, guess what? They make it up to you. Does anyone else in your life do that? The Red Sox don't get divorced. This is a real family. This is the family that's here for you.”
― Jimmy Fallon

“Ben: You're gonna get arrested.
Lindsey Meeks: You can't sell your tickets!
Ben: That's why you ran across the whole field?... Wait, you've got to tell me - was it spongy?”
― Jimmy Fallon

“Life is like a clam, when it opens, you gotta grab the gooey stuff.”
― Jimmy Fallon

“Seek, and you shall be disappointed. Knock, and the door shall be slammed in your face.”
― Jimmy Fallon, I Hate This Place: The Pessimist's Guide to Life

“Did you ever sit back and evaluate your life and think, “Boy, things are going just as I always wanted them to?” I didn't think so.”
― Jimmy Fallon, I Hate This Place: The Pessimist's Guide to Life

“It funny? Huh? Huh?”
― Jimmy Fallon

“Am I a pretty pope?”
― Jimmy Fallon

“I often try to reassure myself by saying, “Well, at least it can't get any worse.” But the truth is, it always can. And that's what really terrifies me.”
― Jimmy Fallon, I Hate This Place: The Pessimist's Guide to Life

“The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.”
― Jimmy Fallon​