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The Problem with Forever The Problem with Forever by Jennifer L. Armentrout
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“I’d been given opportunities others hadn’t and I’ve been wasting them, and now I have to really wonder if it is too late.” “It’s not,” I whispered, truly believing it.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“How...how do you feel about me?”
“I think it’s pretty obvious.”
“Let’s just say I need a detailed account.”
His lashes lifted and his eyes met mine. “I can do that for you.”
“Okay.” I leaned toward him.
“I never once stopped thinking about you when you were taken away. Four years. All I could hope was that you were in a good place. Never expected you to walk into school. Didn’t even allow myself to dream about that. And then you did, and seeing you blew me away. You were just like I remembered, but different. The hints of the girl I saw in you when we were younger were now right in front of me. The moment you said my name—the moment you hugged me I knew.” Rider reached between us, folding his hand around mine. “I knew I’d fall in love with you and I did. I love you, Mallory.”
My lips parted on an inhale. “What?”
“I love you, and not the kind of love we had for each other when we were younger, you know? Paige knows that. So does Hector. So did Jayden. I love you.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“And it was knowing that I could still be ... still be afraid of everyhting, but not letting fear stop me from living”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“But... but home should be more than that,” I told him now. “Life... it should be more than that” he brushes his lips across my cheek.
"It should be, but it's not for everyone. you know that.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“I learned that even monsters could have a positive impact.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“Rider Bit down on his lower lip. “ So, you know, I'm swords of inviting myself along.” he really wanted to meet my best friend? His head tilted to the side. “ And if you think that's not cool, this is about to get real awkward.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“As class ended, Hector announced, “I’m hungry.”
“ okay,” Rider responded as I said to my notebook into my bag. “ what exactly do you want me to do about it?”
Hector grinned as he glanced over at me and winked. “ I want you to take me out and feed me.” Rider snorted.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“Goodness, I was already a dork most of the times. I didn't need to be a drunk or high dork.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“I am not her. I will never be her.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“My heart shattered. 'The boy that you keep painting - the one at the warehouse and at the art gallery? That boy is you, isn't it?'
Rider didn't say anything.
'It's not you from the past,' I whispered. His handsome face blurred. 'That's still who you are.'
He closed his eyes.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“It was me who had to carry myself over the finish line, and all I needed to remember when I felt like not trying was that that feeling wouldn't last forever.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“I don't know how to make it better.” Neither did I. and maybe... maybe wouldn't get better. Rider had said nothing last forever, but some things, some scars, ran Too Deep to ever fade away”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“Rider: I want to be the guy with a future, with his shit togetherand wo has hope. I want to be the guy worthy of your love, and I'll swear, if you'll have me, I'll do everything in my power to be that man. I'll never stop trying. Ever.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“And I want you to know that I heard what you said in that speech,' Rider said, his voice scratchy. 'I might've saved you all those years ago, but now you've saved me,'
My heart stuttered and then sped up. I reacted without thought. Placing the book on the bed, I launched myself at Rider just as he came off the window seat. We collided. I folded my arms around him as we went down onto the floor, me partially in his lap and his arms tight around my waist, his face burrowed against my neck. I felt a tremor run through his body and then he shook in my arms. I held him tighter as he broke into pieces, and years of holding it together shattered. I held him through it all.
Then it was me who put Rider back together.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“Sometimes you're so stuck in your own head that you're not -- Well, you're not really living."
My brows rose.
She glanced down at the bowel of popcorn. "Please don't take that the wrong way. It's just that I think sometimes you miss whats going on around you, because you're so worried about what other are thinking about and and your choices." I wanted to argue against that, but I couldn't.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“I wasn’t perfect”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“I thought about the boy who made my chest hurt, the one who’d promised forever. It”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“Forever wasn’t real.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“You’ve never seen what everyone else sees when it comes to me,” he explained.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“I like you, Mallory. And God knows you deserve a hell of a lot better than me.” He dipped his chin, laughing as he thrust his hand through his hair. “God. I suck at this. Can we just forget—”
I snapped out of it. “You like me?”
His gaze flew to mine. “Yeah, I do. And I know I’ve been with Paige and I’m not going to pretend that meant nothing, but it’s not how I feel for you. Not remotely like how I feel for you. And it’s not because of our past—because of you and I knowing each other for so long,” he said, and the words kept coming out in a rush. “At first, I thought that was why—this attraction I have to you. I thought it was because of everything we’d shared. And then the night I came to your place and you fixed me up, I thought it was just this physical thing.” Pink raced across his cheeks. “And it is most definitely a physical thing, but it wasn’t just that. I think part of me knew that from the very first time you said my name.”
Now my pulse was pounding. He liked-liked me. Oh my God, this was unexpected. This was totally unplanned. It was an infinite, vast sea of unknown.
“I know you deserve better, but I want to be better. I want to be that for you.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“Bananas?"
He nodded with a small grin. "I discovered about those years ago that I absolutely hate those damn things."
"But they're just bananas."
"They're the fruit of the devil."
A surprised laugh burst out of me. "That's ridiculous."
The half grin spread and the dimple appeared. "It's the truth. Now it's your turn.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“Things are different now.” “ things are better now,” I replied. “ Aren't they?”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“Her life was cut short. And I was given a second chance.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“People are assholes, Mouse. You already know that.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“I don’t want to...be like this,” I whispered as I looked away, and once I said it, I didn’t even want to take the words back. A weird sensation hit me, almost like...like relief. That didn’t make sense. Or did it? “I don’t like who I am.”
My gaze returned to his, and the concern was still there, filling his hazel eyes and thinning out his mouth. Tears crawled up the back of my throat. Humiliating actually, to admit something so intimate like that, but now I wasn’t the only one who knew this about myself. It wasn’t my secret.
“It’s okay. You’re not going to feel that way forever.” Rider smoothed his thumb along my jaw. I closed my eyes, wanting to believe him. Needing to. He kept his voice low as he spoke. “Nothing lasts forever, Mouse.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“People are assholes, Mouse. You already know that.” He paused as he scooped some of my hair back, gently tossing the strands over my shoulder. “And there’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
I glanced over at him. Everything about his steady gaze and the serious press of his lips screamed earnest. But he was wrong. “It is...embarrassing.”
“Not if you don’t let it be.” His leg brushed mine as he turned in his seat, facing me. Our eyes met. “You have the power over that. People can say crap. They can think whatever they want, but you control how you feel about it.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“Say something.”
I struggled to get the word out. “What?”
“My name.”
I wasn’t sure why he wanted me to say that, and I didn’t know how it would feel to say it again after all this time, but I drew in a deep breath. “Rider.” Another breath shuddered through me. “Rider Stark.”
His throat worked and, for a heartbeat, neither of us moved as a steamy breeze tossed strands of hair across my face. Then he dropped his notebook to the pavement. I was surprised it didn’t burst into dust. His long-legged pace ate up the distance. One second there was several feet between us, and in the next breath he was right there in front of me. He was so much taller now. I barely reached his shoulders.
And then his arms were around me.
My heart exploded as those strong arms pulled me against his chest. There was a moment where I froze, and then my arms swept around his neck. I held on, squeezing my eyes shut as I inhaled the clean scent and the lingering trace of aftershave. This was him. His hugs were different now, stronger and tighter. He lifted me clear off my feet, one arm around my waist, the other hand buried deep in my hair, and my breasts were mushed against his surprisingly hard chest.
Whoa.
His hugs were most definitely different than they were when we were twelve.
“Jesus, Mouse, you don’t even know...” His voice was gruff and thick as he set me back on my feet, but he didn’t let go. One arm stayed around my waist. His other hand fisted the ends of my hair. His chin grazed the top of my head as I slid my hands down his chest. “I never thought I’d see you again.”
I rested my forehead between my hands, feeling his heart beat fast. I could hear people around us, and I imagined some were probably staring, but I didn’t care. Rider was warm and solid. Real. Alive.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“God, normalcy wasn't overrated when you had a brain like mine.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“My chest clenched as I looked down at the oil-stained asphalt. Here but not. Existing but not living. I knew that feeling. Lived it for several years. Some days it felt like I was still wearing that feeling like a heavy jacket buttoned up too tightly.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever
“My toes curled against the soft leather sofa pf my flip-flops and my throat felt scratchy as i forced the words out. "I'm...I'm new."
There! I did it. I spoke.
Take that, everyone! Words were totally my bitch.”
Jennifer L. Armentrout, The Problem with Forever