Pet Humor! Quotes

“Heaven is a place where all the dogs you've ever loved come to greet you.”
― Oliver Gaspirtz, Pet Humor!

“Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.”
― Oliver Gaspirtz, A Treasury of Pet Humor

“Dogs are like kids. Cats are like roommates.”
― Oliver Gaspirtz, A Treasury of Pet Humor

“Dogs are angels full of poop.”
― Oliver Gaspirtz, Pet Humor!

“A fish tank is just interactive television for cats.”
― Oliver Gaspirtz, A Treasury of Pet Humor

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man." -Mark Twain”
― Oliver Gaspirtz, Pet Humor!

“vaginas. Male”
― Oliver Gaspirtz, Pet Humor!

“John was excited to finally meet his girlfriend Donna's parents. Of course he was pretty nervous, and by the time John arrived at the doorstep, he was in a state of gastric distress. The problem developed into acute flatulence, and halfway through dinner John just couldn't hold it in anymore, so a tiny little fart escaped. "Rex!" Betty's mother yelled at the dog lying near John's feet. Since the dog was getting the blame, John let out another, slightly bigger fart. "Rex!" the mother called out sternly. I've got it made, John thought to himself. He figured one more and he'd feel better. So he let loose a big thundering one. "REX!" shrieked the woman. "Get away from that man before he poops on you!”
― Oliver Gaspirtz, Pet Humor!